


The Chase

by greyspaces



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Hero Complex, Major Original Character(s), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2020-04-06 18:03:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 110,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19067818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greyspaces/pseuds/greyspaces
Summary: Two years post Finale Part A. Mackenzie Humphrey has not lived in New York for quite some time. She'd love to leave parts of her past behind, but it can be hard letting go. Nate Archibald has hit a stride with his business but feels like there might be something else missing from his life. Can a new friendship blossom into something more? [Cross posted to FFN] COMPLETE. Sequel: Ultraviolet





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey folks! Let me set some things straight. This is me writing a new character into this world and having her interact with the GG characters. Mainly to try and find Nate his gal. this might be her! I've played with some timelines and adjusted some backstory. Here's what you need to know:
> 
> Mackenzie is between Dan and Jenny. Consider 15 months between Dan and Mackenzie, then another 15 months between Mackenzie and Jenny.
> 
> Their parents divorced when they were 10, 12, and 13 respectively.
> 
> Mackenzie moved to Hudson with Alison. Spent some time in NY some summers. Was at most major events, just not important to GG plot.
> 
> Okay, I think that covers it. No, this is not a Mary Sue. This is me writing a character I love and have already developed into a show. This is also me wanting the best for Mr. Nathaniel Archibald.
> 
> If you don't care about O/Cs, move on.
> 
> xoxoxo
> 
> TWO YEARS AFTER FINALE PART A

 

_November_

Mackenzie Humphrey was trying to make risotto.

The recipe in her mother's old cookbook was hard to read - splatters of decade old sauce and spices were fossilized on the page. But, she was trying. She did not want to become one of those New Yorkers who orders in all the time. She was determined her late lunch was going to be made by her own hands.

She stood at the island of her father's loft and grated cheese, slowly. She was trying to savour these quiet moments of her life and enjoy the process. Her classes usually left her swamped but this free weekend ahead was to be enjoyed.

She had her mom's hair - long, flowy. It was Humphrey brown though. She had it pulled up into a messy bun to avoid a mess while cooking. She wore a black and white striped t-shirt, paired with ripped black skinny jeans and wool socks. The November air was just starting to cool down the city so the socks were keeping her temperature warm.

She was the same height as her sister, but that's where most of their resemblance ended. Mackenzie was always bigger, with wide hips and a proportionate chest, most of her extra body weight landed in her tummy or booty. She was lucky to always have a waist, but she knew she did not fit into her sister's designs or her brother's socialite friend circle. She wasn't sure she had ever met someone plus sized in her few times visiting the Upper East Side. That was the land of personal chefs, regimented fitness routines and detox programs.

Her mom always told her she could blame her genes on the Rioux side. French, carb loving souls.

Mackenzie was grateful her mother never forced obscene diets or standards of body image on her. That didn't stop the inadequate feelings of having a model sized sister or being the funny friend instead of the pretty one. It had been an ongoing battle her whole life.

Her headphones were nestled into her ears and the sound of The Lumineers flowed as she cooked. She glanced over at her brand new Bluetooth speaker, lying useless on the kitchen table.

Mackenzie was convinced she had an aura about her when it came to electronics. And that aura was throwing off some serious crisis vibes. She could hardly operate her Macbook without it freezing on her. Technology and her just did not get along. Her inability to properly set up new pieces of tech in her life was frustrating but she made it work. Although, arguably, she knew most music would sound a lot better coming out of a speaker and bouncing off the walls of the old Brooklyn loft.

It also would make the apartment feel less empty and lonely.

Truth be told, Mackenzie had hardly lived in this apartment until now. She had a longing for how her brother and sister grew up here with their dad. Her heart pulled her to the few weeks of summer spent in the loft over her teenage years, but it still wasn't the same.

Life became a little complicated for the Humphrey family after the divorce. Mackenzie went with her mother to Hudson just before seventh grade.

From an early age, Mackenzie was the smartest in her class, especially when it came to numbers. Gifted. Incredibly so - her intellect was growing and her aptitude for mathematics set her light years ahead of her peers. After leaving her husband, Alison Humphrey took a position teaching art history at a private school in Hudson and Mackenzie's grades landed her a seat in the classroom.

Her whole life, Mackenzie knew she was book smart. She could balance any budget, analyze any spreadsheet, read about macroeconomics from sunrise to sunset. But her life skills were definitely lacking.

The problem with being a genius in a public elementary school AND being overweight was endless ridicule. It didn't help that Mackenzie's sister, only a year below her, was thin, blonde and beautiful. It was around the end of sixth grade that her panic attacks developed. Dealing with anxiety became a regular facet of Mackenzie's life. Her doctor blamed it on puberty and hormones. Moving to Hudson helped, but some of that childhood trauma, some mild and some damning, remained.

After the divorce, Dan and Jenny chose to stay in town with their dad. Rufus moved the kids to the loft and eventually got them into well established private schools of their own. He welcomed Mackenzie on the holidays and during the summer, but his relationship with her was always difficult.

The reason behind Rufus and Alison's divorce was never clear. As they delivered the news to their children, they used words like 'fallen out of love' and 'different views'. Dan, Mackenzie and Jenny all knew the real word behind their demise was 'infidelity'.

After she finished high school in Hudson, Mackenzie took a gap year and lived in Australia. When she returned, her deferred acceptance into Northeastern University in Boston was waiting for her. Major in Economics and minor in art history.

As she packed up her things to move to her first dorm, Mack came across some paperwork that changed her life.

_Paternity test._

A handwritten letter, from her father to her mother, broke Mack's heart. It was dated eight years ago. Months before their divorce.

The words were burned into her heart: "Alison, we have to face the facts. You owe me this."

Rufus believed Alison's infidelity started after their first born son. After Rufus left on what turned into one of his last tours. He claimed that Mackenzie's conception and birth, just a year after Daniel, did not align with any of their moments in bed. That she must be someone else's and how could she do this to their family. He never claimed to have doubts about Jenny being his daughter. Perhaps he and Alison had worked out their differences eighteen months later. But with Mackenzie, he was convinced she was not his child.  _Her hair was straight and a honey brown. Her smile was unknown to him. She was built differently - she was always the heaviest girl in her class. Alison had an intense friendship with her studio manager Luc around the same time. Rufus had been on tour so often, it could make sense._

That was the last straw for Alison.

At the time, Mackenzie didn't know what to believe or who to be more angry at. Her father, for creating such a void and strain in their relationship for believing this for so long.

"Mackenzie, can you ever forgive me?"

Or her mother, for somehow getting the test with talking to her daughter about it. For wanting to prove her fidelity to Rufus. For never telling her kids about it. For letting Mackenzie find out through secret, hidden paperwork.

"Honey, you don't understand."

Or her brother and sister, who both found out by accident one summer and failed to fill her in years later.

"Mack, come on. How could we give you this information? Dad almost cried when he saw that we found the original test..."

"Kenzie, please. You've gotta understand. It wasn't our place."

To say things were strained was an understatement.

Mackenzie and her family did their best to repair was her biological father, after all the drama that came out of it. And they were slowly but surely getting back to normal. She had to admit she may have handled some things incorrectly and grown up since first finding that information four years ago, but it was hard.

Life had not been easy the past few years. Growing up in a split family can be hard. Finding out about her half brother Scott was another wrench in trusting her father, too. Her time at Northeastern did not come without hardships and not having her family for support the whole time, even by her own choice, was regrettable. The things she went through during her last year of undergrad were still coming to a head. The national news highlights...the unshakable memories.

Mackenzie blinked and brought herself back to the present.

Risotto.

She glanced down at the recipe book. Mushrooms! She approached the fridge and paused. It was covered in photos. She was pretty impressed at her father's collection of his kids' achievements.

Jenny, surrounded by models in her new line at her recent show for Waldorf.

Dan with Serena, smiling happily at the camera during a family brunch.

A review from Dan's recent bestseller, clipped from the Times.

Mackenzie's graduation photo from Northeastern last spring.

Then the last photo - of Dan, Mack and Jenny, aged 6, 8, and 9, holding his old guitar horizontally in front of themselves. Jenny was missing her two front teeth. Mack was pudgy as ever. Dan's hair was long and unruly. Scrolled across the top in Sharpie were the words 'soundtrack of my life'.

Mackenzie smiled to herself and opened the fridge.

Mushrooms.

**Xoxoxo**

"Marie, can you move my 2 o'clock to Monday morning?"

"The advertising meeting with the Lakeside group?"

"Yes, that one. When you have Al on the phone, offer him the Nicks tickets for tomorrow night, too."

"I'll see what I can do, Mr. Archibald."

Nate Archibald released his intercom on his desk phone and leaned back in his chair. It was a quiet Friday afternoon and he was checked out. Monday's content for The Spectator was on schedule for full execution and his weekend staff were prepped for content creation and his journalists had weekend projects just being finalized.

Over the years, Nate was happy to have grown his small operation into a successful operation - slowly but surely growing as a reputable source for news online in the big apple. His staff had been trained and aside from his role as editor in chief and his weekly opinion column, The Spectator thankfully ran itself most days.

Without Marie, his assistant, and Leo, his junior editor and office manager, The Spectator would fall apart. But he was pleased with his success and couldn't wait to see the newspaper grow even more in the future.

Even his grandfather was proud of him for his success, although he didn't tell Nate directly. But he knew. The way he boasted about The Spectator at every social function from the city to the Hamptons, Nate was happy to have his grandfather on his side.

"You're all clear, boss." Marie's voice came through the phone confirming the meeting had been moved. Nate sighed, relieved. He was looking forward to an afternoon off.

He could see a long run, some old records, pad thai and a hot tub in his near future.

He glanced down at his phone and saw a text from Serena:

_Dan and I are stopping by in a few moments! I have my next draft for you._

Ten minutes ago.

Second later, there was a knock at the door. It opened slowly and Serena popped her head in.

"Hey!"

She came into his office and dropped down into the chair across from his desk. "Dan's checking your archive for something. We won't be long!"

"That's okay. I need to ask him something anyway. How's your Friday?"

"Good." She beamed at him. "Here you go!" She pulled a small stack of papers out of her purse and left them on his desk.

"You know most of my contributors just email me their columns to edit."

"Yes, but most of your contributors don't know your preference for editing with real red pens."

He laughed quietly and grabbed the stack off his desk. "You're right." He slid the paperwork into his briefcase. "I'll look this over tonight."

"Are you on your way out? Enjoy your afternoon. Read it tomorrow." Nate was grateful for his friend's attitude. Serena knew Nate was overworking himself.

Dan appeared at the door next, an old Spectator issue in hand. "See, I told you it went up last July." He glanced at Nate. "Hey, man."

"What did we post last July?"

"My short story about the Hamptons house mystery."

"The entire drive down here he was debating with himself about the timeline." Serena pursed her lips, holding in a laugh as she rolled her eyes to Nate.

Dan stood behind Serena and let his arm fall behind her back. "So, how did last night go? I picture a loose modern retelling of three men and a baby. Only it's two men and Henry instead."

Nate laughed, defending himself, "I'll have you know, Chuck and I managed just fine with little Hen. He fell asleep around 8 and was still in bed when I left. He's a pretty happy one year old." He paused. "Although, Dorota did a lot of the work."

"Blair also called home at least five times." Serena noted, recalling her girls night with Blair the evening before.

"I am just really looking forward to a quiet night tonight." Nate conceded, getting up to put on his coat. "Oh, Dan, I meant to ask - can I drop by the loft and grab those records you set aside? I just haven't found the time until now."

"Oh yeah, they're in a yellow crate in the office. My old room."

"Key?"

"Same hiding place."

"Thanks, man."

"Well, we've gotta go, babe," Serena said to Dan. "We've got a date at Barney's."

"Oh, great."

"That sounds like a nightmare. Why?" Nate laughed. They all headed out of his office now, into the foyer of The Spectator.

"I have headshots coming up next week for my new book jacket. So apparently that means a new blazer. And even new socks? Somehow?"

"Dan, it's a whole outfit. I bet Nate has fancy socks on right now."

Nate hesitated then grabbed at his pants, pulling them up slightly to reveal a white, blue and pink argyle sock. They continued down the stairs to the outside office where Dan and Serena's cab was waiting.

"Hey! Come by tomorrow night if you want. I told Dan I want to have a 80s movie marathon."

"How is that what your Saturday nights look like now?" Nate joked to her as she got follow Dan into the backseat of the taxi.

"Hey! You know how I feel about Molly Ringwald." Nate smiled and waved at them as he walked towards his car and driver.

Serena turned to Dan, "Hey, wait. Should you have told Nate that Mack is at the loft?"

"Uhm," Dan hesitated, "No, it's fine. I mean, I think she's at class today anyway. He can pop in and out no problem." Serena gave him a look. "Okay, I'll text him."

**xoxoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: Hi! Thanks so much to everyone taking an interest in this story. Honestly, this is like a guilty pleasure for me - a quick escape from my sometimes boring life. It's a bit indulgent, if I'm being honest, but I'm happy with how it's shaping up. Leave a review if you are interested! Again, if you don't like O/Cs, this isn't for you.

Anyways, enjoy chapter two.

xoxoxo

The sauce was simmering, the mushrooms were sauteed. Mackenzie paused to find a measuring cup. She searched the drawers and finally found one hidden behind a stack of plates. She turned her back to the island and measured out her rice. Just as she was turning towards the stove, she felt a sudden hand on her left shoulder.

She let out a shriek and let go of the measuring cup, spilling the rice all over the kitchen floor. Mackenzie crashed down towards the floor, taking her cell phone and headphones with her. She slumped down in front of the island and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Hey I am so sorry, oh my god." She opened her eyes and looked to her left as someone unfamiliar squatted down beside her. "I didn't mean to scare you. I said hello as I walked in but you clearly didn't hear me and-"

"Who are you?" Mackenzie stared at him. eyes wide, taking deep breaths. No, Mack, not now. Just breathe.

"Nate. I'm Dan's friend. He didn't tell me anyone was here." Just as he finished his sentence, Nate's phone buzzed. Dan.

"Hey Nate! Sorry I meant to text you but my editor called. Mackenzie might be at the loft so-"

Right, Dan's sister. His other sister. Mackenzie. Nate's brain whirled around.

"Yeah, thanks. I just about scared her to death. And probably ruined her meal. You could have given me the heads up, dude."

"Oh man, I'm sorry. You guys have met before, right? Is she...okay?" Dan's voice was laced with concern. Nate paused, unsure how to answer.

"I think so? I'll help her clean up. Thanks." They hung up moments later and Nate noticed she was still sitting on the floor with her eyes closed. Maybe she's hurt?

"Mackenzie, right? Are you okay?" He reached out to put a hand on her shoulder but she pulled away.

"Yeah, fine. Sorry. That was embarrassing, I just.." She sighed and pulled herself up. "I startle easily."

"I see that." Nate nodded, looking around at the sudden mess in the kitchen. "I'm really sorry." He looked back at her, and she was breathing heavily. Her eyes seemed frightened. "I'm Nate, by the way. I think we must have met at Dan's book party last year or something? For City People?"

"How'd you even get in here?" Her voice was a bit angry. She crossed her arms and stood a few feet from him.

"Oh, there's a spare key Rufus and Dan hide down near the pipe on the stairwell. He didn't tell you?"

"Does this face look like I know about the secret spare key that allows entry to well dressed business men in the middle of the day?" She didn't mean to be so short with him but she was trying to get control of her breathing again. This time Mackenzie was interrupted by her own ringing phone. Her brother. She quickly grabbed the phone off the floor and answered.

"Dan."

"Mack! Hey. I'm so sorry." She took a few steps towards her bedroom (previously her sister's) and continued her call.

"You could have given me a heads up we have a secret hidden emergency key to the loft."

"Yes, I should have told you. It's just been such a crazy week."

"And maybe tell me your friends are stopping by before I die of a heart attack when the next stranger appears in the kitchen beside me."

"I definitely should have told you Nate was stopping by. That's on me. He's just grabbing some records from my old room. Are you okay?"

"Yes, I just…" she paused, hesitating to reveal to Dan her reaction just moments before, "It just took me by surprise. But I'm fine."

"Mack." Dan knew she wasn't telling the truth.

"I'll be fine, Dan. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" She ended the call with her brother abruptly and took a deep breath before heading back towards the kitchen. As she turned around, she saw that Nate had taken off his suit jacket and was sweeping up the rice that was scattered around the kitchen.

She smiled. Over the past few years, she had met a few of her brother's friends but she wasn't quite sure she remembered Nate. She never thought she would be living in the city again so she did not make much of an effort to fit into her brother's friends circle.

This Nate guy, though. He was cute. Well, handsome. He filled out a suit well and for a fleeting moment Mackenzie wondered just what he might look like without that suit on. No, Mackenzie. Stop. You have no idea who this guy is and he's your brothers friend. Sure, he's attractive but he probably knows how attractive he is. Plus, you have a boyfriend. Take it easy.

She walked back towards the kitchen and put her phone down on the island.

"You don't have to clean up," she started, but Nate motioned for her sit. He could tell something was still off, she was clearly pretty shaken up by his unintentional sudden appearance.

"It's my fault anyway, so don't worry about it."

"Well, not really, but thank you. I appreciate the gesture," she smiled at him. "This may be a wild assumption but I take it you don't do a lot of sweeping at your day job in that suit."

He laughed at her as he finished sweeping the rice into the dustpan. "No, not really." She motioned for him to go on. "I'm editor in chief at The Spectator. Have you heard of it?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes, "Uhm, yes. I think everyone in New York has at this point? You broke the infamous Gossip Girl story, the entire expose about the public school lunch scandal and, oh man, I literally wrote a report last year on the unbalanced book issue at the Wright Benz Law Firm. I think I even cited your article."

"Okay, well, that's my day job," he leaned back against the counter near the sink and crossed his arms, a proud smile on his face. "So, what's your story? Did you just move back to the city?" He glanced towards a few cardboard boxes near the couch. "Didn't you live up in Boston or something?"

Mackenzie sighed and shifted slightly in her chair. Nate noticed her body language change after his finished speaking. "Sorry. You don't have to give me any details. We don't know each other."

"No, it's uh.." she paused, "You don't have anything else to do? I mean, your life sounds pretty busy Mr. Editor In Chief." She bit her lip, waiting to see if he'd accept his opportunity to exit.

"This is actually my first afternoon off in a while. So, I have time to give. Proceed."

Nate's eyes went straight to her bottom lip as she bit it nervously. He finally got a chance to really look at her. Her hair colour matched Dan's but was pulled into a messy pile on the top of her head. Her eyes were honest and bare, highlighted by a bit of mascara and nothing else. A scarce difference from her sister Jenny. But overall, Nate found this new Humphrey remarkably beautiful. Her cheeks were round and her smile genuine. He imagined her for a moment with dark red lipstick on and nearly let his jaw drop open.

While she looked different than most girls he dated, he just couldn't stop his heart from beating as he looked at her. Sure, she had hips and maybe a bit of weight around her waist but-

"Okay, so I'm really good at math. No, well. Yes. But, I don't have to start there I guess."

Nate couldn't help but laugh as she continued on.

"You ramble just like your brother." Only it's kind of adorable when you do it.

"Okay, I know. I'm between Dan and Jenny. We all grew up here together in the city with our parents. I'm not an artist like all the Humphreys you know but give me a string of numbers and I soar. That's my thing. So, when my parents split I got into a really great private school in Hudson. Well, my mom got a job there so I got a great deal on the tuition. Because I am really good at math. Since I was a kid, numbers have been this second beautiful language to me."

"But there's tons of top tier private schools in the city. Like, Constance, for example."

"Yeah, but, well, it was easier to just start fresh with my mom. Being a, well, bigger girl and really good at math does not make for an easy life in public elementary school." Nate nodded, not sure how to respond. All of his girlfriends have had issues with their bodies at some point. Plus, two of his closest friends were women. But he truly didn't know what to say, especially to someone he didn't know.

"So uhm, yeah. I took a year off after high school and lived in Australia for about a year. Uh, I went to Northeastern and graduated this past spring. I'm enrolled at Columbia now, finishing off my postgrad. I have a few online classes right now, research stuff mainly, but I'll be doing an internship and actual in person classes next semester. I moved back to Hudson over the summer after leaving Boston but I'll be staying here at the loft for the next while. I just got here Sunday."

"So, are you living here with Rufus?"

"I mean, technically. He's been dating someone for a few months so he splits his time with her in Seattle now, or he's out in LA helping with production of Aftershock's next album. So, he might stay here when he's in town." ….But my dad and I have an awful relationship.

Nate nodded at her and smiled again. "You know, I even lived here in the loft once upon a time."

"Really? Why?" Mackenzie replied, suddenly feeling like even more of a stranger in her own new homestead.

"Just some family stuff in high school. Your brother really vouched for me with Rufus. It was nice. You Humphreys make for a real wholesome family." Nate noticed her shift in her seat again.

"So, you're here for some records?" Mackenzie got up from her seat and walked towards Dan's old room, trying to escape the ongoing family discussion with Nate.

"Yeah, Dan said they're in a yellow crate?" Nate wanted to follow her but he was worried he had said something wrong. He watched as she walked away, then returned moments later with the crate in her hands. He made note of a tattoo peeking out of the ripped jeans on her upper left thigh. He wondered if he'd ever get a chance to see what it was. Snap out of it, dude. You just met this girl. And she's your best friends sister. Dial it back.

"Voila." She placed them down at the island, taking a quick flip through the collection. "Billy Joel! Are you serious?"

"Billy Joel is king of New York, you know."

"You strike me as a Jay Z type of dude," she laughed as he rolled his eyes, "Take good care of this one though. It's mine."

"Really? I thought this was Dan's collection."

"Well, Dan did not use his 10th birthday money to buy an overpriced used Billy Joel record."

"That sounds pretty valuable to you, I can leave it here."

"No, it's okay," she smiled at him and placed her hand on his arm, "Just treat him kindly." Nate glanced down quickly as she touched his arm. He looked up to meet her eyes as she smiled and she pulled her arm away.

"So, big weekend plans then? Since you have an entire afternoon off." Mackenzie was desperate to continue their conversation. Her initial cautious feeling about Nate was disappearing and she felt comfortable talking to him. Apprehensive of this attractive male having any interest in her other than friend of her brother, but the conversation was polite and a welcome break to the empty apartment. A week in the city had left her feeling a bit lonely. She left her mom behind in Hudson and her communication with her boyfriend back in Boston had been lacking.

"Let's see. A long run, some pad thai, records and a hot tub, I hope." Nate responded, letting out a long breath.

"Pad thai from where?"

"Oh, the best place in the village: Lantern."

"How do their spring rolls compare to Thai Kitchen?"

"I don't usually eat spring rolls but I'll report back to you." He laughed.

"What about you? First big weekend back in the city."

She shrugged and glanced towards her phone, "Skype date with my boyfriend, Adam. He's still back in Boston finishing up school. I might go to some piano bar with one of my old friends tonight but I don't know. Movie night with Dan and Serena tomorrow. And Eric, too, I think. And Sunday Serena promised me a tour of the Columbia campus. Then I have a lecture series starting next week. There goes my life."

Nate's heart sunk slightly when she mentioned her boyfriend. He was kidding himself thinking she wouldn't have someone in her life already. She was beautiful. And so smart. Smarter than most girls he usually took an interest in. He just wanted to know more about her life.

"Columbia is great. I went there, too. The campus isn't too confusing. I'm sure it's similar to Northeastern. That's where you graduated from, right?"

"Yes. Go Huskies." Mackenzie was happy to put her undergrad in the past and not think about her time there anymore. "I'm hoping-"

"Wait, you just graduated right?" Nate's eyes lit up. "Were you there when that-"

Mackenzie took a deep breath. "Uhm, yeah. It'll be a year since the day in February. February 13th."

"Holy shit. Did you know him? Eddy Baker?"

Mackenzie did not want to talk about Eddy Baker.

Edward Baker.

The most unfortunate news to come out of Northeastern in the past year was Edward Baker - school shooter. Homicidal white guy with a gun. Twelve deaths, many injuries - ending in a suicide from a 4th floor window from Baker himself. It was the worst day of Mackenzie's life, and she had a scar to prove it.

"Edward Baker," she corrected him, "Eddy was his childhood name that somehow got mixed up in the reporting. I did know him. I knew Edward, not Eddy." She started to breathe a bit heavier but she tried to conceal it. No, Mackenzie. Not now. "We had an elective together."

"Oh man. I'm so sorry but my journalism mind is just buzzing. Was he weird? Did he have an unusual vibe? I just can't imagine what his brain would have been thinking. I wanted to do an article on him but haven't really had the resources. What about that girl? Apparently she..."

Mackenzie didn't respond. She continued to breathe as slowly as she could, but she could feel her heartbeat rising. She looked towards him as he spoke but his words just disappeared into the air. She took a few steps away as Nate continued to ask her more questions. She closed her eyes tightly.

"Uhm, Nate. It's been great to meet you but I have to, uh, call my mom. Haven't checked in all week. So, if you don't mind returning the key to its hiding place. I've gotta uhm.."

Nate suddenly noticed her discomfort. He noticed her chest moving up and down quickly. He took a step towards her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She pulled away abruptly. "Mackenzie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up something that-"

"No, it's fine. It was uh, nice to meet you. I'll see you around, I'm sure. If you'll excuse me." She crossed her arms quickly and headed towards the bathroom. As much as she wanted to look into his eyes again, to seek comfort and support from him, she couldn't bear to turn around and see the inevitable pity. She closed the door behind herself and sunk down onto the floor. Great, now I'm going to hyperventilate. Not until he leaves.

Nate stood there, wanting to run after her and apologize more. He did not intend to offend her or bother her in any way. He knew he had clearly hit a really sensitive topic and he wished so desperately he could hold her hand and comfort her.

He decided against saying anything else. He sighed and grabbed his jacket off the chair and grabbed his stack of records. heading towards the door. He hoped he could fix this.


	3. Chapter 3

Nate felt terrible. Usually a long run through the park helped wash away any bad mood but he was overwhelmed with regret.

He could not apologize enough but even that didn't seem like it would make a difference. He desperately wished he could go back and read Mackenzie's cues a bit better but he was so wrapped up in his journalistic head that he left her feeling completely shaken. He wanted to know how he could help fix the situation.

As he walked back into his apartment, he worried he was really over thinking. He just met her. One error in conversation might not have doomed him forever but he really wanted to know her better. There was something about Mackenzie that drew him in - be it her wit or defensiveness or her brain or her beautiful body. He couldn't even remember if his last few dates had even gone to college, let alone majored in economics. He wanted to pick Mackenzie's brain and talk to her all night long about anything and everything. But more than that, he wanted to apologize. Again.

He sat down at the island in his kitchen for a moment and popped open his laptop. He quickly scanned the menu for Lantern and placed two orders online: one for him and one for Mackenzie. Apology Pad Thai. It was the least he could do. He left his phone number with the restaurant and on his apology note with her order, and waited.

As the evening carried on, Nate checked his phone on and off. He periodically responded to some emails and sighed when no text came in from Mackenzie. Maybe his note was too pushy.

He ignored a few texts from Amelia, his current sleepover friend. They had met a few months ago at a Bass Industries event and hit it off, at least in the bedroom. He found her to be quite dry and a bit clingy. She desperately wanted Nate to commit to dating her but he worried her intentions were just to jump further into the public eye. He sighed as he dismissed the messages from her. She was fine. But the more time he spent getting to know himself, he wasn't sure Amelia was what he wanted.

After a relaxing soak in his hot tub on the terrace, he returned to the living room and fell onto his large navy leather couch. He stretched out his legs and opened up Instagram on his phone. While Nate did not care for social media much, especially after suffering through years of harassment from his best friend as Gossip Girl, he tried to stay present to ensure he was up to date on any relevant news spreading across the internet.

A quick search lead him to find Mackenzie's profile and he smiled, grateful her account was public.  _MissMackerel._

He scrolled through her posts, pausing every time he saw a candid picture of her smiling. He knew she had mentioned a boyfriend but he was nowhere to be seen on her feed. He liked seeing a small glimpse into her life, although admittedly he did feel it was a bit creepy to look through her past online. He paused and decided to stop what he was doing but his eyes stopped on a photo from four years ago. She was on a beach somewhere. She was standing just on the edge of the water, posing with some girlfriends and smiling at the camera. She had on a pair of ripped jean shorts and a halter top. Her strong thighs and wider hips didn't seem to stop her from enjoying her life and Nate was pleasantly surprised seeing her clad in swimwear. He instinctively tapped the heart button on the photo and then his face dropped.

_As if you just liked this girl's photo from four years ago, you idiot._

He quickly hit the heart again and hoped his minor online appearance on her profile would disappear or be chalked up as a fluke. He groaned to himself and threw his phone onto the coffee table.  _Idiot._

* * *

Mackenzie was not exactly sure when she fell asleep.

It was after her boyfriend back in Boston bailed on their Skype date, again.

It was after she bailed on her friend Rowan and their plans to go to a piano bar uptown.

It was after she confirmed breakfast with her brother (" _Only if you come over and make waffles…")_

It was after the pad thai and spring rolls were delivered to her door, paid for by Nate Archibald.

But it was before she set an alarm. She woke up to banging on the loft door. She shook her head and bounded out of bed, hurrying but cautiously opening the door to see Dan standing there with a small grocery bag.

"Don't you have a key?"

"Of course I do," he responded to his sister, walking into the loft behind her. "But considering you didn't answer your phone or any texts, I didn't want to cause a repeat of yesterday."

Mackenzie sighed, "That's fair." She paused, "I'm going to change."

Dan placed the bag of groceries down and made his way to the cabinet where the waffle iron was hiding. Placing it on the counter, he noticed a small piece of paper. He read what was scrawled on it:

" _Mackenzie, sorry if I said anything to upset you. Hopefully this makes up for your risotto. Report back to me on the spring rolls! - Nate Archibald, 718-555-5555"_

Mackenzie reappeared from her bedroom in a pair of black leggings paired with an old Rolling Stones t-shirt and a mustard yellow cardigan. Her hair was pulled out of it's usual messy bun and fell down past her shoulders. She took a seat at the island across from her brother as he held up the note.

"I was wondering why Nate texted me asking if you had any allergies," Dan said, giving her an inquiring look. "What happened here?"

Mackenzie rolled her eyes and smiled, "We got to talking after he showed up and scared me and I ruined my risotto." She hesitated for a moment but decided to fill Dan in, "We had discussed the best place for Thai food-"

"Thai Kitchen."

"I know. Anyway, we had discussed it briefly then we got on the topic of Northeastern and, well, he asked me about Eddy Baker and the shooting and... I just kind of broke down."

"Oh, Mack. Why didn't you call me?"

She let out a dry laugh, "It's not that easy to make a phone call when you're having a panic attack. It's fine now. I was going to Skype with Adam anyway so I figured he could talk me through it."

"Was?"

"Yeah. He bailed. Again. Please, bite your tongue before you remind me of your opinion of Adam." She got up from her seat and turned on their counter top espresso machine, hoping to change the topic. "Americano?"

Dan decided to ignore the boyfriend topic, and circled back, "Hey, let's not gloss over this panic attack."

Mackenzie packed the espresso and worked the machine as she defended herself, "Dan, I'm managing. They're getting less and less intense." She wasn't quite sure if that was true, admittedly she usually blacked out when they happened.

"Well, can you at least promise me you'll go talk to someone? Here in the city? Serena can probably recommend a few people. Her family has been through a lot and she's been to a counselor so.."

"Can my promise be to talk to Serena about her experience and see who she recommends? Baby steps."

Dan conceded, "Sure. That's a good start. So, what did you think of Nate?"

Mackenzie placed a mug in front of her brother as he put together some waffle mix. "He was fine, I guess. Seems nice enough. He's devilishly handsome, too. He seems genuine though, but let me guess: he's currently dating a fashion model or dancer or something."

Dan laughed, "Don't be so quick to assume. He hasn't really had a girlfriend in ages."

"Is that an argument in his favour?"

"I just think you guys would get along well. That's all. He's a workaholic and I know how you get wrapped up in school. But a friend is a friend."

"Dan, I get it. You think I'm suffering and alone and could use a friend. I've only been here a week, I have some people I know in the city still."

"I just don't want you to feel alone out here in Brooklyn. I know you're dealing with a lot of shit still. You could have stayed in my spare room instead, you know."

"Your office? That shares a wall with your bedroom? No, thank you. Plus, with Serena spending so much time there, you don't need an extra person."

Dan nodded, "Okay. But you're gonna come over for a movie night tonight at least?"

"Yes. As long as we watch Sixteen Candles."

"I think that's on the list," Dan laughed, recalling his latest movie agenda with his girlfriend.

* * *

Before deciding to travel through Spain for a month, Lily Van Der Woodsen decided it was yet again time for an apartment refresh. As she watched her children age, she wanted the family apartment to reflect comfort and a safe place called home.

Eric was finishing his last year at Sarah Lawrence and had returned to his old bedroom and with Serena spending most of her time at Dan's apartment on the 8th floor, she was often in the penthouse too. Especially since their parents were out of the country for a month or more.

The living room of the apartment had been transformed into an ideal movie watching area, with a grand u-shaped sectional leather couch and plenty of pillows. Replacing an old piece of art above the fireplace was an over sized flat screen TV.

Serena wanted to break in the entire new living room cinema with an 80s movie night. She thought it was perfect with Eric being home and Dan's sister having just moved back to the city. While her invitation to Blair and Chuck had been declined, she was hoping Nate would come over and just relax for once. Preferably without his most recent flavour of the week he kept inviting for sleepovers and who was appearing as his plus one at social events.

She was placing a bowl of popcorn onto the grand coffee table in front of the couch when she heard the elevator door open. She turned towards the front entrance and saw Nate kicking off his shoes, a bottle in one hand and a bag in the other.

"Hey, I grabbed that stuff from Strokos. And some champagne. That's how we do movie nights, right?"

"I love it," she beamed at him, grabbing the items from his hands. "Did you grab the honeysuckle goat cheese for Dan?"

"Of course," Nate laughed, watching as she headed into the kitchen to unpack the bag. "Where is he?"

"In the study, I think." she told him, watching as he walked down the hall.

Nate stepped into the newly renovated study. The back wall was lined with bookcases and a large reading chair resided near the window. He found Dan and Eric hunched over a book at the desk on the far wall.

"Hey Nate," Eric addressed him, briefly looking up from the book.

"Hey, I heard you got into your Masters program. That's awesome, man." Nate expressed to him, plunking himself down on the chair near the window. Dan continued scanning through the book on the desk.

"Thanks. Dan's in the middle of analyzing all the people in his life based on my pysch textbook." Eric rolled his eyes as Dan finally looked up from the textbook.

"I'm not psychoanalyzing, I'm just.. Researching. For my next book." Dan told him, shrugging his shoulders. He glanced down at his phone seeing a text from his sister.

"Hey quick poll, if you were stuck on the 4 train and got off in Tribeca unintentionally, what's your next best route do you think?" He glanced at Eric and Nate.

"Why do you ask?" Nate questioned, laughing at his friend.

"Mack is stuck on the subway. The 1...okay, I have a solution." He quickly responded to his sister to set her in the right direction for the Upper East Side.

"Why doesn't she just grab a taxi?" Eric asked. The three headed out of the study and towards the kitchen. Serena had plated all the food Nate brought and it sat on the kitchen table, alongside a multitude of movie treats: chocolates, candies, licorice.

"You may not know this about Mackenzie, but her one defining trait she inherited from my father was a very strong will. She's super stubborn. And she's very determined to get familiar with the city again and apparently the subway is the best way to do that." Eric shrugged and grabbed some snacks before heading over to fall onto the couch.

"What do you think we should watch first? Breakfast Club or Sixteen candles?" Serena followed him with the bottle of champagne and a few flutes.

Nate paused turned to Dan, "Hey, man, I think I said something wrong to your sister last night and I want to fix it."

Dan sighed as they walked back into the kitchen area, leaning against the counter. "Yeah, Nate, here's the thing." He paused. "This really isn't my story to tell but-"

"I just want to apologize to her but you don't have to get into any more detail."

"I think the pad thai was a good move." Dan noted, giving him a small smile. Nate sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"I don't know, she seemed pretty upset. I really didn't mean to say anything but...I don't want her to hate me."

"Dude, she doesn't hate you. I mean, she hardly knows you anyways. She did call you devilishly handsome today though."

"Really?" Nate smiled to himself and let out a breath.

"Oh, stop it, Romeo. She has a boyfriend and you have a lady friend anyway, don't you? Amelia? Plus, Mack doesn't seem like your type. Also, that's my sister so, no." Dan shook his head, laughing. He sobered up quickly, pausing to collect his thoughts. "Here's the thing. That shooting last year at Northeastern? Mackenzie was there. Like,  _there_. In the room." Dan paused again, remembering the worst phone call of his life. He struggled to find his next words. "She doesn't really talk about it, but she was shot. Bullet in her leg.."

"What? Are you serious? How did I not know this? I can't even imagine-"

"We worked really hard to keep it quiet. They kept a lot of names out of the paper, their focus was really on the fatalities unfortunately. Not to mention that the bomb threat incident happened at USC the week after. And I think you were out of the country when it happened anyway, I don't know, it's all kind of a blur. It was a truly awful time for my mom and dad especially, but she's doing okay now, I think. She just..she's still dealing with a lot of it. So her reaction to you yesterday was nothing personal, it's just kind of how she copes sometimes. She's kind of always dealt with anxiety and panic attacks, but not on this scale..." Dan paused again. "She would hate me talking about this at all. But if you're going to be around her, it's just some info that might help. I mean, she just moved back and I don't know how much of a social circle she has."

Nate was quiet. He couldn't even begin to fathom going through that kind of experience and all he wanted was to go back to yesterday and cut off his conversation with Mackenzie before making it so much worse.

"Nate, man, you didn't know. Don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sure she could use a friend though, at least you work closer to Brooklyn than I do. I worry about her." He took a deep breath and sighed. "But she'll be okay, we're working on it." Dan gave him a friendly pat on the arm and headed towards the table of food. Nate sighed and followed him, grabbing a few snacks and finding a place on the sofa.

Mackenzie arrived shortly after, successfully ending her journey from Brooklyn up to the Upper East Side.

"I cannot believe I struggled that much on the subway. And to think I grew up here." She threw off her coat and pulled a beanie off her head. She shook out her hair and let it cascade off her right shoulder, now pin straight.

"I told you I'd pay for your taxi," Dan said to her, popping his head up from the couch.

"Where's the fun in that?" She laughed at him. She quickly said hello to the rest of the group sprawled out on the couch.

"Champagne over here!" Serena said to her, motioning toward the coffee table.

"Excellent," Mackenzie made her way around the couch and plopped down between Serena and Nate. Eric was lounging on the floor in front of the couch and Dan was leaned up beside Serena in the corner section. Serena handed her a glass of champagne and motioned toward the TV.

"We decided to start with The Breakfast Club," she told Mackenzie, pointing the remote. "You ready?" Mackenzie nodded and leaned back in the couch. Just as Serena started the movie, Dan jumped up to dim the lights.

"Cinema lighting." He said in a weird voice, smiling to himself. He returned to his place on the couch and snuggled up beside Serena.

Mackenzie turned and looked at Nate, who looked like he wanted to say something. She leaned toward him and cut him off as he opened his mouth.

"Hey. I wanted to say thanks for the pad thai, MrNateArch." She gave him a small smile and patted his arm gently before turning and watching the movie.

Nate wanted to respond and defend himself and apologize again in person but he didn't dare risk interrupting the movie and getting the wrath of Serena.  _Wait, did she just say MrNateArch? My Instagram handle. I'm an idiot._

Mackenzie glanced over at him again and winked playfully. Nate smiled, relieved.

* * *

It was after 1AM when the movie marathon finally came to an end with Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Serena had fallen asleep on Dan's shoulder before the movie ended and he shook her awake as everyone else got up from the couch area.

"This was so much fun, Serena. Good execution. Next up I say we do silly action movies from the 80s instead." Mackenzie mentioned as she moved towards the elevator, pulling on her coat. "Big Trouble in Little China anyone?"

"Yes! Kurt Russell at his finest," Nate chimed in as he walked towards the door with her. Mackenzie gave him a small smile and yawned before she could respond.

"Mack, are you really going to take the subway home right now? Alone?" Dan said to her as he followed behind them to say goodbye. Serena and Eric waved them off and started to put away the rest of the snacks.

"Dan, I'm a big girl. I'll text you when I get home, okay?" He gave her a quick hug and she kissed his cheek. She ignored his concerned look and stepped into the elevator with Nate.

She turned to him as the doors closed. "Dan told you, didn't he? About the shooting?"

Nate leaned against the far side of the elevator and looked at her. He contemplated twisting the truth but knew it wasn't worth it. Who was he trying to protect? He nodded. "He did but-"

She rolled her eyes and turned away from him.

"I think he was just trying to explain why-"

"Nate, Dan has a tendency to be overprotective these days. He feels bad because he thinks he wasn't there enough for me when I was younger. It's like I'm this broken, fragile person. I would really prefer to deliver these facts to people to avoid this: pity." She trailed off, crossing her arms and looking down.

"You're thinking of me differently now, right? Like I'm this recovering girl with a traumatic past who needs to see a doctor and talk about her feelings."

Nate took a step towards her. "Mackenzie. We just met. I don't think that. I don't pity you. I just want you to know I'm sorry for what I said yesterday and I should have handled it differently instead of drilling you with questions about Edd-"

"Please don't say his name."

"Questions about...that day."

They reached the lobby and the elevator dinged. She looked up at him and saw the genuine look in his eyes. He mouthed the words to her 'I'm sorry.'

She sighed quietly, then gave him a small smile as they walked out.

Nate broke the silence, "You didn't tell me how the spring rolls were. I thought maybe you would text me or something?"

"Was that actually your number? Sorry, I honestly thought it was the delivery company," she laughed, "They were pretty good. But not sure they were better than Thai Kitchen." Nate rolled his eyes and laughed with her. They exited the building and stopped outside on the sidewalk.

"Well, goodnight Nate. See you again soon?" She gave him one last warm smile and turned to walk towards the subway station.

"Hey, Mackenzie, wait." He grabbed her arm gently, stopping her from leaving, his cell phone in his hand. "Dan is insisting I call you a cab." He gave her a shrug. "I would also discourage your interest in taking the subway home. God knows what kind of people are taking the subway after 1AM."

She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to argue, then conceded. "Okay, you guys might be right. If I'm being honest, a subway ride across Manhattan does not seem like the best idea right now. I would probably fall asleep."

Nate's driver showed up in front of the building moments later and he motioned towards it, "How about I give you a ride home instead?"

"No, that's not necessary. Don't you live around here? I feel like a journey to Brooklyn is a bit of a waste of time for you."

Nate rolled his eyes and opened the backdoor of the car for her, "C'mon, just get in. I insist. Not a waste of time at all." Nate was just happy to get another 20 minutes with her tonight.

She sighed and got into his town car. She had a feeling arguing with him would be useless and, if she was being honest with herself, she was tired and a quick car ride was easier than a subway or taxi journey.

As they rode through the city traffic, Mackenzie felt her eyes slowly closing and her head bobbing. She was looking forward to crawling into bed.

Mackenzie was not exactly sure when she fell asleep. But somewhere between the Upper East Side and the Brooklyn Bridge, she dozed off and found comfort in Nate's shoulder. Nate didn't wake her. He glanced down every now and then as they passed by the lights of the city.

Every streetlight that shined through his windows illuminated her beautiful face and the last thing he wanted to do was wake her up when they returned to her apartment.

"Mackenzie, hey… Mackenzie," he said to her quietly, placing his hand gently on her leg to wake her up. "Mackenzie."

She stirred slowly and shot up quickly once she remembered where she was, "Oh. Home. Sorry. For falling asleep."

 _It was the best part of my night_.

"It's okay," he told her, smiling in the dark.

"Thanks so much for the ride, Nate." She had to stop herself from leaning in to try and kiss him. A strange instinct. She slid towards the door and stepped out as the driver opened it up for her.

"Anytime," he said back to her, "Make sure you text Dan so he knows you're home safe." He paused, going over that thought. "Do you want me to walk you up?"

A part of her desperately wanted to say yes and have him come inside with her but she knew she was confused and smitten with Nate for no reason other than how charming she found him.  _You have a boyfriend, idiot._

"No, it's okay. Thanks again for bringing me all the way home."

"Okay, well, at least text me when you get inside! I promise you that was my number on the delivery sheet and not the delivery guy's." She laughed at him, but nodded okay. "Goodnight, Mackenzie."

"Goodnight, Nate."

_**Xoxoxo** _

* * *

 


	4. Chapter 4

"Thank you so much for showing me around," Mackenzie said to Serena. They had just spent their morning on the Columbia campus and Mackenzie was feeling a bit better about her upcoming classes.

They were seated down at a cafe near Central Park, a few blocks away from the university. Mackenzie was grateful to Serena for showing her around but she had to admit she was feeling pretty tired after their movie night.

After getting into the loft, Mackenzie texted her brother to let him know she was safe at home. She had also texted Nate another thank you for the drive home. One text back from him turned into them having a lengthy conversation that lasted until past 3AM. She found Nate engaging - she had been quick to judge him before, thinking he was a typical attractive business man in New York: hot headed, shallow, rude. But instead, he was honest, wise and kind. And quite witty.

She couldn't quite figure out why he was so interested in talking to her, but she was happy to be getting to know someone new. Maybe Nate was desperate for new friends. Or he wanted to get to know her and ask more questions about Northeastern…. She shook her head to herself.  _You're crazy, Mackenzie. Don't be irrational._

"Of course! Sorry it was so brief. I honestly didn't spend a lot of time there. Nate may be able to give you more advice about the ins and outs at Columbia." Serena stirred her coffee then dropped her spoon on the table. "He's going to drop by soon, I think."

"Oh, does he live nearby?"

"Yeah, just a few blocks away on 93rd. Blair almost shunned him for moving onto the West side but he found this incredible place. Private terrace and a view of the park."

"What's Nate's deal anyway? How has no one scooped him up?" Mackenzie's curiosity was getting the better of her.  _You have a boyfriend, Mackenzie. Stop._

"He's a workaholic! Nate has built this incredible empire and team with The Spectator but he works like 100 hours a week sometimes, I swear. He took his mom on a trip to Paris last summer and slept probably two hours a day to make sure he could be a tourist and work on the upcoming news releases with the time change." Serena took a sip of her coffee and sighed. "Plus, he has some questionable taste sometimes - I'll be the first to say he's dated a lot of beautiful women with empty brains."

Mackenzie looked at her for a moment, stunned by her passionate response.

"I, uh, guess that covers it," Serena laughed, "I just really want Nate to find someone great. And worth his time."

Mackenzie took a bite of her croissant. "I get it, you care about him. He seems like a real catch."

"Enough about Nate though - you still haven't told me a thing about Adam. How is the long distance going?"

Mackenzie took a big sip of her americano and let out her breath.  _Well, my boyfriend of 7 months has been avoiding me all week it seems._

"Uhm, well. It's been okay! He's supposed to come to the city for Thanksgiving next week and you'll get to meet him, I'm sure. He's studying Kinesiology - I think he wants to work for an NHL team in the future. He's like, 6'2 and built like a wall. We met at a house party during grad week. Dan met him when he came up but they didn't really get along. We had just started dating but I don't think he gave a great first impression."

Serena winced, "Yeah, I remember that. That's just Dan being Dan, though. If you like him, I'm sure he's great."

"He is, he's just a little reserved sometimes so it's hard to get a lot out of him.."

"So tall though! He sounds cute. Is he on Instagram?" Serena pulled out her phone. "What's his last name?"

"Oh, he is definitely not on there. He does not do social media. Adam Kross, with a K."

"I think I found him!" Serena stared down at her screen.

"What? No-"

"Yeah, here. It says 'Kin at Northeastern' in this guy's bio." Serena started to turn her phone towards Mackenzie when they were interrupted.

"Is this seat taken?" Serena and Mackenzie's Instagram sleuthing was cut off by Nate's arrival at their table. He was dressed in a pair of track pants and a Nike pullover, having just finished a run in the park. He took a seat beside Serena, across from Mackenzie.

"Morning. Good run?" Serena said to him, tucking her phone into her purse.

"I'm exhausted but I managed. This is for you." He reached into his backpack and handed Serena back her column draft. "This was great. Please tell me you'll reconsider my request for this to be weekly instead of bi monthly. People love  _Secrets of the City_."

"Wait, do you write that?" Mackenzie turned to Serena, "How did I not know that? Your name isn't attached to it, is it?"

"No, it's published anonymously. Not in a Gossip Girl way, but just in a neutral lifestyle review kind of way." Serena turned to Nate. "I appreciate the ask, but I start with the Met as their newest public relations officer in January. So my time has to go to focusing on that."

Nate sighed but smiled at her, "Right! Okay, just know that offer is on the table forever." He smiled as the waitress placed his smoothie on the table in front of him. He turned to Mackenzie, "What did you think of Columbia?"

She smiled at him, "It was honestly so beautiful. Although a bit overwhelming. I was hoping to start visiting the school to finish up some research for one of my final papers but I don't know if I want to make that journey every day. The loft has not turned into a very promising study spot."

"There are so many cute coffee shops near the loft. I'm sure you can find a nice place to study." Serena told her, finishing up her coffee.

"Actually, if you want, we recently bought out the top floor of the building The Spectator is in. We're growing, which is awesome. But there's a few empty offices upstairs that won't be occupied for a while, if you want somewhere boring to do your research. Free wifi and cappuccinos in the office, too." He smiled. "Or, americanos."

Mackenzie gave him a small smile, recalling their long debate last night about their preferred coffee order. She didn't even really remember how their conversation lead to that but things could get delusional past 2AM, especially after a few glasses of champagne.

"Thanks, Nate. That actually sounds awesome. And a lot closer to Brooklyn, thankfully."

He handed her his business card from his wallet, "Come by the office tomorrow, I'll get you set up."

Nate walked away from the coffeeshop, smoothie in hand, already looking forward to seeing Mackenzie at the office tomorrow. He hated to admit to himself he had a crush on her. The word crush seemed too trivial. But since their late night text conversation the night before, she was all he could think about. And he hated himself for it.

He couldn't remember the last girl who captured all his rational thoughts so quickly. If he was being honest with himself, it was well before Sage even. And Amelia, his latest arm candy, was the last thing on his mind.

His phone rang and he noticed it was her calling. He ignored the call and continued on, quickly replying to an email from Leo about the Monday morning schedule and continued his way back home.

Just as he returned to his apartment, his phone rang again. This time it was Chuck.

"Chuck, hey." He fell onto his couch and kicked off his sneakers. He needed a shower before he continued on with his day.

"Nathaniel. Any Sunday plans?" Nate glanced down at his watch. Almost noon.

"Not really, no. Work, mainly. I'm trying to stay away from the office but I've got a ton of work to do for some shareholder meetings this week. Why?"

"So you have time for a small adventure. Perfect. I'll be there in 10." Nate rolled his eyes as Chuck promptly hung up on him. He raced to the shower and quickly changed into a pressed plaid button up and a pair of slacks. He headed down to the lobby and got into Chuck's town car.

Just as Nate slid in beside his best friend, he felt his phone buzz. He looked down to see a message from Mackenzie.

'Does this blazer work with this outfit? I'm worried it's too loud. Thank you, miss fashionista.'

He loaded the photo she attached: Mackenzie taking a mirror selfie in her bedroom, in a black pencil skirt, striped white blouse and a beautiful cropped red blazer. While he knew this message was probably not for him, he felt a smile grow on his face as he admired her in the outfit.

"What kind of woman is making you smile like that?" Chuck gave him a friendly swat on the chest and tried to glance over at his phone screen. Nate pulled back and shook his head.

"Don't worry about it," he rolled his eyes at Chuck as they started to drive away. Chuck began talking about Blair's plans for brunch at the Waldorfs and the upcoming foundation gala.

Nate glanced down at his phone again.

' _OOOOH no, sorry. That was meant for Jenny. Please disregard.'_

He smiled again and quickly responded: ' _Noted. But if it counts for anything, from a purely business perspective and not at all about fashion, you look great.'_

' _Well, thanks. Will great get me a second interview for my dream internship though!?'_ she responded to him shortly after.

Nate hesitated to respond right away, dying to continue but not wanting to seem too interested. He wasn't sure what to do with whatever feelings he may be dealing with, so he slid his phone into his pocket.

"So, small adventure?" Nate glanced out the window as they drove down Park Avenue.

"We are going to take a look at the townhouse. Construction started Friday morning so I wanted to check in," Chuck said, thrusting a hardhat towards Nate.

"Wow, that was fast. Didn't you just close on this?" They pulled up outside a beautiful brownstone on 94th, just a few blocks away from the east side of Central Park.

"Well, when my wife makes a demand of moving in by the summer, we must act quickly. Nathaniel." Chuck smiled, with a slight roll of his eyes. Nate smiled and nodded, understanding of Blair's current demands of outgrowing the Waldorf apartment.

After briefly catching up with his contractors and realtors, Chuck took Nate on a full tour of the house - which was currently stripped down to the studs. He outlined lavish details of the new designs, including an in house miniature atelier for Blair and an entire floor for a home office for Chuck. Not to mention, a large playroom for Henry with room to grow.

They ended up on the rooftop level, where a full deck displayed potential for a beautiful future terrace.

"20 blocks from Waldorf Designs, a spectacular view of this city plus you can see The Empire from every window."

"This is incredible. How did you manage to find this so quickly?"

"Money talks, my friend. It helps to have the entire real estate community under my thumb." Chuck smiled, leaning on the edge looking out towards his surroundings. "Plus, I have a few other projects up my sleeve to keep all my contracts busy. I think I'm going to go forward with the boutique hotel in Brooklyn."

Nate was distracted. "Speaking of Brooklyn - I met Dan's sister the other day."

"I assume you don't mean Jennifer," Chuck paused, "It's Mackenzie, correct?"

"Yeah. I only have vague memories of Dan mentioning her after all these years. Have you met her?"

"In a way, yes." Chuck paused, "After the tragic events last February I leant the Humphrey clan the Bass Industries jet to get up to Boston on a few occasions. I went on the first trip to help smooth over what I could with the media. I really only met her in the hospital room, it was brief. She was...somber." They both stood in silence for a few moments. Nate's hand reached for his phone, feeling a sudden urge to text her and find a reason to talk to her.

"As much as I have a distaste for Rufus Humphrey, I would not wish the horror of feeling helpless about your child onto anyone," Chuck said quietly, turning towards Nate. "Is she staying in the city for a while?"

"She's enrolled at Columbia so yeah, I think so. We didn't talk a whole lot, but Dan's trying to get her socialized with the group, it seems."

"It's nice to have fresh meat around, breaks up the monotony. She should come to the cocktail party Friday. I'll have Blair add her to the invite list."

"You really think Blair will add anyone onto her guest list this late? Isn't she still screening all your staff for clean bills of health before entering your apartment?"

"Well, it is a Bass Industries staff appreciation party so I think I have some say on who gets invited."

"Sure, or at least Blair has lead you to believe that, dude."

* * *

"Are you sure it's not too late to chat?" Mackenzie was seated at the island of the kitchen, video chatting with her little sister.

"Kenzie, I'm only five hours ahead. It's like 8 o'clock here. If I wasn't talking to you I would just be watching some movie with Joseph." Jenny jutted her laptop screen to the left, allowing her boyfriend to come into frame across the room, waving at the screen.

Mackenzie waved back to Joseph and smiled as Jenny returned to focus. "So how was week one?"

Mackenzie detailed her busy week back in the city to her sister as they caught up on their lives. Admittedly, the sisters didn't have a very close relationship until Jenny moved to the otherside of the world. They both seemed to have a bit of growing up to do over the years but had settled into a very close relationship. They communicated quite often.

"So mom told me she still wants to visit at Christmas - are you actually okay with us crashing there for a week? I mean, we don't even have tickets yet so I have no idea it this will actually happen."

"Yes, please. I am desperate for a real holiday meal so I want mom here to prepare the whole thing," Jenny laughed.

"Oh! Also, I think I'm going to wear the navy dress instead. For the interview. The red blazer is stressing me out."

"I told you! The dress will help you feel more confident, I think. Plus, if you wear your leather lined jacket, you'll look so great. And those black oxfords."

"Thank you for always being my fashion guru."

"I know you said you don't need Dan to help you make friends but Serena also has great taste. And Blair!"

"Speaking of Dan's friends, did I tell you I accidently sent that picture to Nate Archibald instead of you this morning?"

Jenny laughed, "I'm sure Nate was nice about it. Man, I had such a crush on him in high school."

"Oh my god, was this the guy you used to write about on your Livejournal page?" Mackenzie joked, recalling her sister's dramatic online diary from high school.

"One of them, yeah. Nate was such a catch though. I miss him. Tell him I say hi if you see him again!" Mackenzie smiled and made a mental note. She contemplated for a second just texting Nate that very message right away but he hadn't messaged her back all day. Maybe that was a good thing. She was worried she was developing a weird infatuation with Nate. He was handsome and nice and talkative.

Mackenzie knew she had a tendency to fall for guys who gave her small bits of attention. The poor reasoning behind her last few broken hearts and failed relationships. She always cared more, gave more, wanted more. That gave the other person all the control and it always left her hurt. She was trying to do better - she knew Adam cared about her the way she cared about him. Or so she thought. He had been slow to reply to her the past few weeks but she knew he was coming up for Thanksgiving so spend the long weekend with her, and she was really looking forward to his company again.

The Humphrey sisters ended their call a few moments later with well wishes for the rest of the week and a longing for the upcoming holiday season.

Mackenzie fell onto the couch and thought about her upcoming few weeks. Research paper, lecture series, interview for her internship, Adam coming to town, Thanksgiving. It all seemed pretty easy to wrap her head around but she was worried the stress might get to her.  _One day at a time, Mackenzie._

She grabbed her phone and hit the call button for Adam. She let the phone ring for a few moments until it went to voicemail. She sighed and recorded a short message. Something was wrong. She wasn't sure why, but she felt like things may just start to fall apart soon.

* * *

"Hey boss, there's someone here for you. Mackenzie Humphrey."

Nate perked up from the paperwork in front of him and quickly responded to Marie on his phone intercom. "I'll be right out!"

It was mid Monday morning and Nate was swamped. He had a long week ahead with a few investors meetings, among other things.

He spent his Sunday night wrestling with his thoughts, finally catching up with Amelia and in a moment of weakness, he invited her over to hang out. He knew what he was doing and he hated to admit but he found Amelia a worthy distraction from other feelings. And, if he was being completely honest with himself, it was a satisfying way to release his stress. After she left this morning, Nate convinced himself that his growing feelings for Mackenzie were just curiosity and infatuation getting the best of him.

He could let this go. He had just met her, he hardly knew a thing about her and he was in an easy position to lay the foundation for a friendship and nothing more.

As he walked out of his office towards the front foyer, he took a deep breath then let it out, resolving that he was capable of shaking his mysterious crush. As he got to the front, he saw Mackenzie sitting on the waiting area couch, dressed in plain jeans, a white tshirt and a cropped black blazer. Her warm brunette hair was tied into a side braid and a New York Yankee hat was on her head. As she looked up and met his eyes, she smiled.

Nate almost melted.

"Hey Nate," she stood up and walked toward him, "I didn't know if there was a dress code in this building or if that's a thing. An office I worked in last summer in Boston had a strict code about denim so if this is too casual for this area, I can just leave for the day. I didn't want to just text you about what to wear because that's just so silly but I-"

He cut her off, smiling, "It's fine. No dress code for visitors. Nice hat."

"I assure you I am a Yankee fan and I'm not just wearing this for show," she laughed, "I had a terrible sleep last night so I'm trying to hide under this hat."

Mackenzie had pestered Adam last night after her initial phone call. She called a few more times until he finally responded, with no apology for his lack of communication. She broke down crying to him on the phone about her anxiety and fears about her transition and new life in the city and he had offered little to no comfort. She had been on and off crying for most of the morning too, trying to settle her reaction and get through her day. She was certain that once Adam came to visit her next week they would figure everything out.

Nate had enough women in his life to pick up on some signs. As he gave Mackenzie a tour of the office, he noticed she was distracted and her eyes seemed a bit swollen and red, like she had been crying.

He continued the tour as they got into the elevator, travelling up to the next floor that was newly acquired by The Spectator and fairly empty.

Mackenzie sighed as she looked at her phone in the elevator and let out a breath. Just as the doors dinged on the next floor, Nate followed her out of the elevator and finally asked: "Are you okay?"

Mackenzie sighed, "Sorry. Yes. I'm fine. Just in the middle of a dumb argument with my boyfriend." She glanced down at her phone again. "I think he's picking a fight on purpose. He's like, completely changed his tone with me since this summer and at first I just thought it was stress from school or this new distance in our relationship but he's just being a dick." Mackenzie stopped herself, eyes wide. She looked to Nate who was just standing with an uncertain look on his face.

"Fuck. Sorry. This is not the time or place or audience for my to vent about my relationship, too. Forgive my poor timing of that rant."

"It's okay, everyone needs to vent sometimes," Nate responded to her, biting his tongue to stop himself from asking questions.

Mackenzie sighed, "No, it's not okay." She tucked her phone into her back pocket. "So this whole floor is yours now, too?" She changed the subject quickly and walked further into the empty floor. They passed by a few couches covered in drop cloths and into a small hallway filled with offices.

Nate stopped as they neared the corner, "Yeah, it was an easy acquisition. The tech firm up here actually just moved to a new warehouse style place near DUMBO so I thought we should just expand up here instead of moving in the next few years, too. We've only used a few offices so far and the boardroom for video meetings." He pushed open a door to the office in the corner.

"Wow," Mackenzie walked straight to the windows, showing off a beautiful view of the city, Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty.

"When we finish renovations this'll be my new office, but you can use this as your work slash research space for the time being. It's pretty quiet up here."

"Thanks Nate, I really appreciate it." Mackenzie slipped her backpack off and placed it on the large desk. She turned to him as he stood at the door frame, leaning casually.

"But feel free to come downstairs and use the kitchen of you need anything at all. I'll text you a security code to get in an out so you can bypass the front foyer, too."

"Thanks," she smiled again, "And sorry again about the boyfriend rant."

"Honestly, it's okay. Take it from me, men can be idiots sometimes." Mackenzie just sighed. She didn't want to get into her head about Adam again. Nate gave her one last smile and turned away, leaving her to do her work.

 _Whyyyy did she have to be wearing a Yankee hat?_ Nate sighed to himself as he got back into the elevator.  _Good luck getting rid of your crush now, Nate. Just when he couldn't find her any cuter - a Yankees hat. Casual, cute, collected._  He grabbed his phone out of his pocket, desperate for a distraction. He shot a quick text to Amelia:  _Hey, last night was fun. Round two tonight?_

**xoxoxo**

_Up next: things are falling apart and NY is hit with a disaster of an ice storm just before Thanksgiving. What's going to happen when the power is out and everyone is stranded? Oh, just you wait._


	5. Chapter 5

Mackenzie was having a terrible, awful day.

She had decided last year that she would no longer categorize her days as 'the worst day of her life' despite unfortunate moments and bad moods. Any day where you don't see someone hit with a bullet is not the worst day of your life. It became a turning point. But she still had bad days.

And on this bad day, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, she just wanted to dig a hole in the ground and disappear.

As she walked from the subway station back towards the loft, she could no longer hold back her tears. She clutched onto her bag and umbrella, fighting razor sharp sleet has it blew sideways into her face. Of course, the impending ice storm was just a cherry on top of her day.

As she continued on, sniffling to herself, tears freezing to her face - she thought about the events of the last week and every single step that lead her to this lonely walk back to the loft. Five days ago, the morning of the Bass Waldorf cocktail party.

_It was Friday morning. Mackenzie was trying to pace herself. Her heart and head were confused over her feelings for Nate. Despite his bad attitude at the beginning of the week, Mackenzie had reconciled with Adam and was trying desperately to stop thinking of Nate as anything more than a new friend._

_Every morning that week Nate had found his way upstairs to where her desk was to say hello or bring her a coffee or just to take a break from his day to chat. That morning was no different._

" _So, since you still won't tell me where your interview is next week, can you tell me what your plan B is?"_

" _I don't need a Plan B," Mackenzie said to him, a smirk on her face. "The universe is going to give me this one, I think."_

" _I'm not doubting your brilliant brain, but finance is hard to crack into." Nate was leaning on the desk, as she sat a few feet away on a small love seat. Her laptop was propped open on the small coffee table in front of her. She smiled at him. Brilliant brain. A cute compliment whether he meant it or not._

" _Oh, by the way, I wanted to tell you I was wrong - Amy Poehler was in the original improv group at UCB," Mackenzie said to him, taking a sip of her hot coffee. He brought her a coffee most mornings, always with a smile on his face. They had spent a lot of time talking about SNL cast members this week. Mackenzie had always dreamed of going to a live taping, but even as a New Yorker, it was a difficult task to get tickets._

_Just as Nate was about to carry on the conversation, Chuck Bass appeared at the door._

" _Nathaniel." He took a few steps in, standing between Nate and Mackenzie. "Marie said I might find you up here." He turned his head. "Miss Humphrey."_

" _Hello Chuck, uhm, nice to see you." Mackenzie wasn't sure how to talk to Chuck Bass. She had met him briefly last year during the aftermath of the shooting, but found him hard to approach even after all this time. How do you say thank you to someone who helped alleviate so much media drama for your whole family?_

" _I never got to say-"_

" _Mackenzie, please. You don't have to say anything. You are, sort of, by extension, part of this whole messed up Humphrey/Van Der Woodsen/Bass clan. I hope you'll be at the party tonight."_

_Mackenzie just smiled, slightly relieved at the quick conversation as the boys left the floor for a meeting._

As Mackenzie finally made it into her building, she sighed. Friday had been a perfect wrap up to her whole week residing at The Spectator offices. She winced, remembering just when things went sour that day.

_Friday morning, just as she was about to leave the office to head back to the loft for an afternoon call with her adviser, she stopped and headed towards Nate's office. She had borrowed his phone charger and wanted to return it._

_Or she wanted to just say bye to Nate in person. And see him one last time. She wasn't sure he was going to the party that evening, and she hated how she was compelled to find more opportunities to see him, but she was really feeling enamored. Despite reminding herself of her boyfriend over and over, Nate Archibald raced through her mind._

_Just as she was approaching Nate's office, she saw the door propped open slightly. Nate was still sitting with Chuck._

_If she could go back, she would have just walked away but Mackenzie's curiosity got the best of her and she paused and listened to the end of their conversation._

" _What do you even mean? She's just Dan's sister. I'm trying to be nice to her?"_

" _Your assistant implied you've been going up there to be nice every day. People start to think things. I mean, she's not your usual type. Usually you're more of a sample size man, she's a bit more thick than you're inclined to...well, you know. Although she does have an exquisite face."_

_Nate's response was muffled, but Mackenzie could hear a few things: "I'm hardly even friends with her, Dan thinks she's having a hard time transitioning withe city again, I'm just trying to acquaint her to the friend group..."_

_Mackenzie tried so deeply not to be offended and take the words of either male personally, but it was difficult not to feel hurt. She was clearly reading into her new friendship with Nate._

Things grew even worse at the cocktail party that night. After a warm exchange with Blair, Mackenzie resided to spending most of her night with Serena, then hiding out in the kitchen.

" _Mackenzie, hi. Listen, I need you to know this was not a pity invite from my husband but that as hostess, I have little to no time to make acquaintance. I have a few passing words before you enjoy the evening." Mackenzie gulped as Blair gave her a curt smile, quickly giving her the once over._

" _First, that vintage YSL purse is divine and I need to know where you managed to find something like that and why it's hiding with you out in Brooklyn."_

" _I actually found it at an estate sale in Boston a few summers ago…"_

" _Second, my first impression of any Humphrey was never positive but so far, due to your fashion taste, colour me interested. Enjoy the party." Blair turned on her heel, and Mackenzie was left with her mouth agape, unsure how to respond. She sighed to herself and headed into the party, looking for Serena and her brother._

_Mackenzie had been to some flashy parties before, department gatherings at Northeastern and the occasional launch or fundraising party for her brother. It wasn't her favourite atmosphere, but usually most events were large enough that she could easily escape after a brief appearance._

_Her unfortunate eavesdropping at The Spectator office had thrown her off for most of the afternoon but she conceded most of her feelings and decided to just try to enjoy her night. It was difficult but the only saving grace so far was Nate Archibald was not present at the party._

_Mackenzie had pulled together enough of a cocktail party outfit, pairing her black lace sleeved dress with a sharp lilac heel. The one thing she was grateful to her sister for was advice for mastering the art of high heels. She had loosely curled her hair and pulled it to one side, revealing black diamond earrings._

_Mackenzie spent most of the night with Dan and Serena and a few other acquaintances of theirs, sipping on gin cocktails and waiting for the right opportunity to leave. Just as she was grabbing her purse to check her phone for the time, Nate appeared at their group. Alone._

" _Where's the plus one?" Dan joked with him, as a waiter came by with Nate's drink. Before she could even consider listening to his response, Mackenzie abruptly turned away from the group and made a brisk dash in any other direction._

_After giving herself a pep talk in the bathroom and a new time frame of spending 20 more minutes at the party, Mackenzie found the kitchen, filled with catering staff wrapping up for the evening. She found a unoccupied area down near the island and sat on the stool. She was happy to find the quiet moment and took a deep breath._

" _Hiding out in here too?" She turned to see someone leaning on the counter beside her, his hands loosening his tie. She paused for a moment. She wasn't sure who this handsome business man was, but there was something about him. He immediately seemed charming._

" _Yes, sorry. Are you Australian? Sorry if that's rude but your accent.."_

" _Not rude, love. Yes, I am." He smiled at her. "These yanks call me Oz. I'm Mitch Watson. I work in finance. I used to work for Bass Industries in Australia but they've imported me here instead. I was just home visiting for a few weeks, actually. If I'm being honest, I don't often shy away from a good party but I'm a bit jet lagged."_

Mackenzie walked up the stairs and fell into the loft, locking the door beside her. She was ready to collapse on the ground.

The cocktail party had been more fun than she guessed it would be, thanks to the gin and Mitch Watson. They spent over an hour talking in the kitchen, with Mackenzie reveling him of her year living in his home country.

She had avoided Nate for the entirety of the night, even dismissing a few texts from him.

The following Saturday she spent in Brooklyn, holed up in the loft doing research for her upcoming interview, listening to old records, wallowing in her loneliness. She even spent some time researching shared work places, to avoid having to return to The Spectator on Monday morning.

Sunday morning she had traversed up to the Upper East Side to have brunch at the Van Der Woodsen apartment. Lily and William had recently returned from their trip to Spain and wanted to catch up with the clan.

Lily was always so welcoming to Mackenzie still, even though things had gone south with Rufus all those years ago. She still joked about her being her ex-step-daughter and always welcome.

Mackenzie sighed, recalling a perfectly jovial brunch followed by a storm cloud.

_After brunch, Lily and William had stepped out for a visit with some friends uptown. Mackenzie, Dan and Serena were moving towards the elevator to leave._

" _Did you see what Chuck's secretary was wearing on Friday? I swear Blair was going to bite her head off for that plunging neckline." Serena started the recap of the cocktail party. "You may have missed her Mack, you disappeared so quickly."_

" _I was a bit partied out at that point," Mackenzie bit her lip, trying to avoid thinking about Nate and her quick exit when he arrived._

" _Really? Because Nate said he saw you flirting with Chuck's CFO in the kitchen." Dan chimed in, rolling his eyes. They got into the elevator, pressing the button for the lobby._

" _Excuse me?" Mackenzie's face dropped as she stared at her brother. "I don't know what Nate Archibald told you he saw but I was not flirting with anyone."_

" _Yeah, okay, Mack." Dan rolled his eyes. "He said he walked by the kitchen twice and you were laughing and smiling and touching this guy's arm. Don't you have a boyfriend?"_

" _Dan." Serena said, a confused look on his face. "Stop."_

" _Why do you even care, Dan? Don't you remember, you don't like my boyfriend."_

" _I don't. You're right. But maybe your flirting with this-"_

_She cut him off, standing up, "I was NOT flirting with him."_

" _Okay, whatever." Dan paused. "I guess I was just hoping this thing with Adam would fizzle out."_

_Mackenzie groaned and rolled her eyes. "Give it a rest, Dan. Your opinions on my boyfriends and who I do or do not flirt or with do not matter."_

" _Mackenzie, you're my sister. I'm just looking out for you."_

" _By looking out do you mean actively rooting against my relationship?"_

" _Mack, you deserve more than some dude who ignores your phone calls and cuts you off during discussions and completely lacks any sort of respect for you." Dan was referencing their dinner back in the spring, following Mackenzie's graduation. Sure, Adam had not been entirely pleasant at the table. But he wasn't as terrible as Dan was painting him to be._

" _You met him once, Dan. And so what? Are you judging me now for apparently flirting with someone when I have a boyfriend or for having terrible relationships?" Mackenzie stopped herself from raising her voice anymore._

" _Mack, sometimes..I think...I just think you settle for whichever dude who looks your way and smiles."_

" _Dan. STOP." Serena said again, gently hitting his arm._

_Mackenzie stared at him, blank faced. "Wow."_

" _Wait, Mackenzie, I didn't mean-" They had reached the lobby. Mackenzie started to bolt away from her brother and his girlfriend. "Mack." Dan stopped her with his hand, grabbing her arm._

" _Daniel. Let go of my arm." Mackenzie looked down at her arm, but avoided her brothers eyes. She was suddenly feeling incredibly overwhelmed._

_Dan let go and opened his mouth to apologize. Mackenzie met his eyes for a brief moment, holding back her tears._

And now today, Wednesday.

It only took two and a half weeks for Mackenzie to feel entirely alone in New York. For a city so large, full of bustling people, old friends, new friends, family, work, research projects. And here she was, alone in Brooklyn, drinking straight from the bottle of wine.

She went over the rest of the week, following her fight with Dan.

_She wrapped herself in a blanket for the rest of the day Sunday, ignoring her phone except for a few messages confirming Adam's upcoming travel plans._

_She stayed in again Monday morning. Around 9:30 AM Nate had texted her, to see when she was coming to The Spectator._

_She sent him a follow up message right away: 'Thanks again for the office space, but I think I overstayed my welcome last week.'_

_Nate replied, 'Oh… I was looking forward to seeing you this morning. I mean, I was getting used to our morning coffee... I hope I didn't make you feel unwelcome.'_

' _Well, I'm sure Dan will be grateful you've been so nice to his sister.'_

' _What does that mean?'_

' _Nevermind. See you around, Nate.'_

She glanced down at her phone as she leaned on the counter, still soaking wet from her walk in the rain. She texted her brother: 'I'm still alive. I'm still mad.' She hoped this would keep him quiet enough for the rest of the night, instead of desperately trying to make amends. She typed out another message and sighed: 'Oh, and Adam and I broke up. Well, he broke up with me this afternoon. Actually, he's been dating another girl for months. Hope you're happy.'

"Fuck."

She went through her day again, wondering how it turned out so terribly.

_As she was on her way into the office building downtown for her internship interview, she continued to check her phone. Yes, she was on time. Early, even. But she was waiting for her boyfriend to at least text her good luck on her interview._

_Her phone finally buzzed. Nate. Again. After texting him about not coming to The Spectator offices on Monday, he had sent her a few follow up messages which she mainly ignored. She felt terrible not replying, but her head and heart were such a mess._

_She just needed to get through the interview and go meet Adam at the train station._

_She looked at the message from Nate: 'I have no doubt you're going to ace the interview today. Good luck, Humphrey.'_

_She let out a small sigh and closed her eyes. To stop herself from breaking and texting him back, she called Adam._

" _Hey, are you on the way to the train station? I can't wait to see you-"_

" _Uhm, Mack. There's something I've got to tell you."_

_That's when Mackenzie found out that he wasn't on his way to the train station. That he was on a plane. With his new girlfriend. Heading to Florida to visit her family._

" _Adam, what the fuck? You've been dating someone else since August?" He filled Mackenzie's head with empty apologies and more useless words about 'his soulmate' and 'how he wanted to tell her earlier.'_

Instead of going upstairs to her interview, Mackenzie cried on the lobby couch and had a panic attack. She managed to contain her breathing and make her way outside, where she found her way down to the subway. By the time she made it back to Brooklyn, it was pouring rain.

Now here she was, without a boyfriend or internship for the new year. She wasn't talking to her brother, and as far as she knew, she was about to spend the Thanksgiving weekend alone in the loft.

She took another sip of wine and sighed. She crouched down and dug around the bottom cabinet, desperate for something stronger than wine. She found a few of her dad's old bottles and grabbed the bourbon. She popped out the cork topper and took a big gulp.

What a day.

She peeled off her now soaked blazer and dress and had a shower where she cried, cried, and cried.

She pulled on her oversized Northeastern hoodie and a pair of leggings after the shower, grabbed the bottle of bourbon, and fell onto the couch. She glanced down at her phone to see a missed call from Dan, followed by a text: 'Are you okay? Please call me. Our power just flashed up town.'

Just as she contemplated her response, the apartment went dark then the lights came back on.

Moments later, there was a knock at the door. She stayed on the couch, silent.

There was another knock. She cautiously walked towards the door.

"Mackenzie, I know you're in there. Can we please talk." She slid the lock open and pulled the door towards her.

Standing at the door, his suit soaking wet, hair flat, was one Nate Archibald.

"Hi."

* * *

Nate Archibald had a crush on his best friend's sister.

And he wanted nothing more than to stop his feelings, but he wasn't sure what to do.

It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and she had distanced herself from him since last week. He wish he knew why, but he supposed he should feel grateful for the distance. He figured if he didn't talk to her and see her every day, his feelings would disappear.

But it was having the opposite effect.

Last Friday, Chuck had made a few comments that his crush didn't seem very subtle.

_Chuck was sitting opposite him in his office at The Spectator. They had just been going over some plans about The Spectator's expansion upstairs with one of Chuck's contractors._

" _So Nathaniel, you're moving on from your flavour of the week Amelia?"_

" _No, I don't think so. We have fun together, she's been sticking around."_

" _Is that so? You're not starting to feel something for a certain Humphrey taking residence upstairs?"_

" _What do you even mean? She's just Dan's sister. I'm trying to be nice to her?"_

" _Your assistant implied you've been going up there to be nice everyday. People start to think things. I mean, she's not your usual type. Usually you're more of a sample size man, she's a bit more thick than you're inclined to...well, you know. Although she does have an exquisite face."_

_Nate rolled his eyes as he thought about his response. Damnit. Maybe he should dial back. What if Mackenzie was getting the wrong idea?_

" _I'm hardly even friends with her, Dan thinks she's having a hard time transitioning withe city again, I'm just trying to acquaint her to the friend group." He paused. "Dan would kill me if I told him I thought Mackenzie was attractive. I mean, she is beautiful and her body is incredible, despite you thinking she's not my type. She's also so smart. But, it's his sister so…" Nate paused, thinking he just heard footsteps outside his office door._

He filled most of his week with Amelia instead. The nights, at least.

He invited her to the cocktail party at the Waldorf apartment that Friday evening, but she insisted on going out for her friend's birthday downtown instead. In fact, Amelia tried to convince him that was a better plan.

Nate knew Mackenzie would be at the cocktail party, and that environment seemed way better than a noisy crowded nightclub anyway.

_He showed up at the cocktail party later than he wanted, embarrassed to admit he had changed his shirt almost three times. He smiled when he noticed Serena, Dan and Mackenzie tucked into a corner of the party._

_He watched for a few minutes in awe as he ordered a drink at the bar. Mackenzie was wearing a sleek black dress with lace details running down the arms. On her feet were simple purple high heels, giving her a few extra inches of height. He looked closely, trying hard to see the tattoo on her left thigh peeking out of the hem of the dress._

_He made his way toward his friends, grabbing his drink from the waiter as he passed by._

" _Where's the plus one?" Dan joked as he appeared. Before Nate could get out a greeting to Serena and Mackenzie, or a witty response to Dan, Mackenzie turned on her heel and left the group. She zig zagged through the party until she was out of sight._

_Nate sighed and continued on. He made his way around the room, saying hello to the Bass Industries staff he knew. As he traveled around, he kept his eyes open for Mackenzie._

_He stopped to greet Blair near the bar. "Hey, have you seen Mackenzie, uh, Dan's sister?"_

" _The whereabouts of the Humphrey's are not important to me, Nate. Although I do think I saw her in the kitchen with Oz when I was chastising one of these waitresses."_

_Nate parted ways with Blair and walked towards the kitchen. He glanced in to see Mackenzie seated at the island, laughing with Bass Industries Chief Financial Officer. Oz. Or Mitchell. Or something. He immediately felt a heat in his stomach, jealous and annoyed that this guy was making her laugh and getting to watch her smile._

_He took a deep breath and made his way around the room again, fighting with himself about how to break into their conversation and talk to her. As he approached the kitchen again, he watched her flirt with him for a few more moments. Maybe it wasn't fair to watch or judge, but he was just so envious._

_He shook his head and went back into the party. He sent Amelia a text to see where she was. Maybe he would join her after all._

_He said goodbye to Dan and Serena as he headed out. "Your sister said she had a boyfriend, right?" Dan nodded, a bit confused by Nate's statement. "Funny. She's in the kitchen flirting with the Australian right now."_

_He regretted what he said as he walked away. It wasn't his place to judge or share that information, because talking to someone does not mean flirting._

He didn't hear from Mackenzie the entire weekend, even when he sent her a reminder text about the SNL host Saturday night. He got no response, unfortunately.

He spent most of Sunday preparing for his work week. He went for a run to try and clear his head and invited Amelia over for an order in for dinner. He was trying hard to enjoy her company, but it was hard to stay invested in their conversations.

_Monday morning came slowly, and he got to the office early to get some work done. He waited and waited for Mackenzie to show up, but she never did._

_He sent her a text eventually: 'Happy Monday! Are you coming by today?'_

_She sent him a follow up message quickly: 'Thanks again for the office space, but I think I overstayed my welcome last week.'_

_Nate replied, 'Oh… I was looking forward to seeing you this morning. I mean, I was getting used to our morning coffee... I hope I didn't make you feel unwelcome.'_

' _Well, I'm sure Dan will be grateful you've been so nice to his sister.'_

' _What does that mean?'_

' _Nevermind. See you around, Nate.'_

He wasn't sure where things went wrong. Did she get the wrong idea? Was she just having a busy, stressful week? Was he not friendly enough - was he too friendly?

He wanted to dig in deeper but was hesitant to keep messaging her without seeming desperate.

Nate was having a hard time ironing out what to do, so he decided to just keep his distance.

Now, it was Wednesday. He hadn't talked or seen Mackenzie since the cocktail party Friday. It was raining as he was leaving his meeting in DUMBO. Tomorrow was Thanksgiving and he was dreading getting together with his family. Mainly his cousin Tripp, who was trying hard to make amends with Nate, despite their history.

Earlier this week, while laying in bed with Amelia, he tried to talk to her about what was running through his head.

" _I don't get it, why not just make up with him?" She said to him, half paying attention as she scrolled on her phone. He glanced over to the petite blonde and sighed._

" _It's kind of complicated, I don't know. He's done a lot of shitty things, although that was mainly his ex-wife, and..I don't know."_

_Amelia just shrugged._

Was it so hard to ask for someone to talk to? About real things? Nate sighed as he waited in the lobby of this warehouse building for his driver. He glanced outside, the rain was pouring and he was looking forward to a hot shower when he got home. It was unusual weather for November, just a reminder that winter was really about to show itself and the snow was on its way.

Just as he was about to step outside, his phone started to buzz. John, his driver.

"John, are you close by?"

"Mr. Archibald, sir, I'm so sorry. My sister in law, she's gone into labour and my brother is out of town. I'm really in a bind, Arch. I've gotta get to the hospital as soon as I can and traffic is backed up on the George Washington because of a bad accident and-"

"Man, it's okay. Family first. You go. I'll grab a cab."

"God bless you, Arch."

Nate hung up his phone and sighed. Before he could get outside, his phone rang again. Dan.

"Dan, man, what's up?"

"Are you at home? Our power is going nuts. Are you guys blacked out on the West side?"

Nate took a look again at the weather outside, "No, I'm actually just leaving a meeting near DUMBO. I have no idea what's going on in my building.. I hope everything is okay. Do you guys have heat?"

"Yeah, it's just going on and off." Dan paused. "Hey, since you're over there, do you have time to do me a favour?"

"Sure, what do you need?"

"Can you stop by the loft and check on Mackenzie for me? She's not really talking to me but she just told me her and Adam broke up or he broke up with her? I don't know but she won't answer my calls. I'm just going nuts and there's no way for me to get down there right now."

Nate sighed quietly to myself but felt an immediate sense of relief, maybe it was hope, hearing that Mackenzie and her boyfriend broke up. Guilt immediately followed. Break ups can be hard on people and he could only imagine what she might be going through. "Oh, man, yeah. I hope she's okay. I'll go drop by."

"Thank you so much. Just give me a call later, if you don't mind." Nate could tell Dan was really worried.

Nate really hoped his sudden appearance at the loft wouldn't upset Mackenzie any further and he was curious to know what was causing her rift with her brother. More than anything, he wanted to know if he had said something wrong to her last week to cause her sudden lack of communication with him.

He reluctantly headed outside in the pouring rain, hoping to catch a cab. He gave up hope quickly as most cabs were occupied then conceded to walking the few blocks over to the loft.

He finally made it to the building and he was soaking wet and freezing cold. He couldn't remember the last time this kind of weather hit New York, especially this close to Thanksgiving. He made his way inside and climbed the stairs, faster than was necessary. Just as he landed in front of the door, the power flashed quickly, then returned.

He knocked on the door.

He heard no response or movement from inside.

He knocked again. He heard some footsteps.

"Mackenzie, I know you're in there. Can we please talk."

The loft door opened slowly. There stood Mackenzie, swollen eyes, wet hair, baggy sweatshirt. She looked so sad, like the joy had been stripped from her. He gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Hi."

**xoxoxoxo**

_Next up: a shared bottle of bourbon and someone crashing in Brooklyn for the night..._


	6. Chapter 6

"Hi."

Mackenzie stared at Nate for a few moments, confused and suddenly feeling very vulnerable - here she was, near rock bottom, dressed in old clothes and wet hair and tear stained eyes. And standing in front of her was Nate Archibald, sympathetic smile on his face, soaking wet.

"Oh my god you're soaked, come in. Sorry, I'm just…" Mackenzie trailed off, stepped aside from the door to let Nate further into the apartment. "What are you doing here?"

Nate took a quick inventory of the situation, clothes piled on the floor in the corner, bottle of wine open on the counter, a caramel coloured liquor bottle in near the couch.

"Uhm, your brother is worried about you. I was in the area so he asked me to pop by but I got caught in the rain and, yeah, here I am."

"Well, he can sleep easy tonight. I'm alive. You didn't have to come here, especially in this storm." Mackenzie crossed her arms defensively, walking away from where Nate was standing and hovering near the couch.

She hated to admit to herself that despite the confusing sadness of her last phone call with Adam, she was comforted seeing Nate.

"I'm worried about you, too." He said slowly, peeling off his wet suit jacket.

Mackenzie turned after he said that, still keeping her distance but meeting his eyes. " _You're_  worried about me? Why?"

"I don't know, you just disappeared these past few days. I thought maybe we were becoming friends or something, I don't know what I'm saying." He paused, and brought his hands up to his face. "Last time I was at the loft I really started off on the wrong foot with you so forgive me but last week I liked talking to you every morning. Then, that was it."

Mackenzie was staring at him again. Her heart started to beat a bit faster hearing him talk about her. She shook her head, and started to pace around the living room. She grabbed the bottle of bourbon and walked towards the kitchen. "Do you want a drink?"

"Uhh.."

"I don't want to drink alone." She paused. "I mean, you've accomplished your mission. You've checked on Dan's sister, you don't have to stay." She trailed off, defeated.

Nate nodded his head, then looked down at himself. "I want to. I mean, I'm not getting a cab in this weather right now anyway. I think I may be stuck here for a bit, actually."

Mackenzie paused what she was doing, then took another sip of the bourbon. "Okay. Uhm. I think some of Dan's old clothes are in his closet, if you want something dry to wear." She stopped to think. "You can shower, if you want. Might help you warm up…" She stopped to think briefly of Nate, and a shower, and how she wanted to just join him in there and then -

Nate broke her from her thoughts, "If you don't want me to stay, I can-"

She shook her head, "No, honestly, I could use the company." She let out a breath. "I just figure you have better things to do. I'm a fucking mess today."

He smiled at her. "I'll take you up on that shower and dry clothes. Let's start there."

She smiled back and sighed, "Okay. I'll go find you something dry, there's towels in the bathroom."

Mackenzie hurried into Dan's old room and threw open the closet. She found an old pair of sweatpants, a plain grey t-shirt, and an NYU zip up. She walked back towards the living room and paused outside the bathroom door, unsure if she should knock and leave them in there waiting for him or wait until he was done showering.

Before she wrestled further with the decision, her phone made a few buzzing noises. Incoming messages. She left the clothes on a chair near the bathroom door and grabbed her phone from the kitchen island. She unlocked her phone and saw a few messages from a number she didn't recognize. The messages were all photos of Adam and some girl. Maybe his new girlfriend?

Mackenzie scrolled through the pictures, confused and suddenly broken again. Why would anyone be sending these to her? She sunk down onto the kitchen floor, back leaning against the island and kept staring at these photos. A message suddenly appeared: 'Sorry you had to find out this way, can't believe he strung you along for so long and you believed him. He's happy now. Hope you can find someone else to annoy with your problems, Mackenzie Humphrey.'

She continued to stare at the photos, her breath becoming short and her heartbeat quickened. She couldn't even bring herself to respond, the messages starting to blur as tears formed in her eyes.

Another case of being gullible, believing someone could actually be interested in her. She was nothing but kind and patient with Adam.

She ran her hand through her hair, then wiped the tears falling down her cheeks. Why now? Why today? Why this very moment when Nate Archibald was here?

She thought about racing to her room, locking the door. Asking him to leave after his shower.

She just not have heard the shower stop but she did hear the door open.

"Mackenzie? Where are you?"

She sniffled quietly. "Kitchen floor currently. Clothes on the chair." She heard Nate shuffle quickly and pull the clothes on. For a fleeting moment she wished she hadn't been out of view to see him change but was quickly reminded of her current state of heartache as her phone buzzed again. Adam.

'Sorry about those pics, Mack. Shelby should not have sent those. Long story. Wish I could explain more. Best of luck with everything.'

She let out an exasperated sigh. Best of luck? What kind of well wishes was that statement? She put her phone down on the ground and pulled her knees up towards her chest.

Nate rounded the corner of the island and slid down opposite her, dressed in sweatpants and t-shirt.

"Are you okay?" Nate knew she wasn't okay, but didn't know how to start the conversation. She shook her head slowly, then shut her eyes as her tears fell silently. "You can talk to me, if you want."

She laughed bitterly and looked up at him, "Really? Aren't I just Dan's sister to you?"

"Why do you keep saying that?" He finally asked her, not sure how to read where this was going. She let out her breath and wiped her tears, trying hard to focus instead of thinking about how her phone kept buzzing with what she could only assume were from Adam and his new girlfriend Shelby.

"I heard you last week. Talking to Chuck," she said quietly, "I swear I wasn't eavesdropping and if you don't want to talk to me anymore that's fine but I thought maybe we were getting along as friends but clearly your kindness was a gesture for my brother."

Nate bit his lip, not sure what to say. "Did you hear our whole conversation?" He couldn't get a read on her at this moment. She seemed pretty upset, but her mind seemed to be jumping all over the place. "I think you heard something out of context. I think we're friends now, Mackenzie. I mean, I think you're great and we get along and I don't just see you as Dan's sister, trust me. Believe me. Please."

She just sighed again. Her phone buzzed.

"Augh." She glanced at it to see more messages from Adam, she couldn't even bring herself to read them.

"Mackenzie, please talk to me. Use me as a sounding board. Yell at me. I don't care. But let out whatever is eating you alive, please." She met his eyes. He looked genuinely concerned.

Nate wanted to reach out and wipe away her tears himself.

She took a deep breath, then closed her eyes. Her voice came out as a whisper, "Everything is a mess." She hugged her knees closer to her chest. Nate reached out and placed his hand over one of hers. She took this act of comfort as an opportunity to continue.

"In a very unfortunate turn of events, not only did my boyfriend break up with me today, but both he and his new girlfriend have decided to message me photos from the last three months of  _their_ relationship." She paused, grabbing her phone and showing the screen to Nate. "That's right. We've been dating for seven months, but they've been dating for three. So, do the math."

"Oh, shit.." Nate grabbed her phone and scrolled for a few moments, wincing at the photos and messages. "Oh man, I'm so sorry." The phone buzzed. Another photo. "This is some sort of torture." She tried to grab the phone back from him. "No, sorry. This can't continue."

"Nate, please. Give it back."

"Mack, this is for your own good, I promise." He quickly deleted the messages and blocked both Adam and the new number. She sighed as he handed it back. She closed her eyes again, then smiled ever so slightly. She liked hearing him call her Mack.

"How about that drink?"

Twenty minutes later, Mackenzie was sitting cross legged on one end of the couch, facing Nate, sitting opposite her. The bottle of bourbon was on the coffee table in between them. Nate put his glass down and poured another few inches of the liquor.

"So, how did the interview go?"

Mackenzie thought for a moment. That's right, the interview. It felt like it was days ago, but it was really only that afternoon. She took a sip of her drink and rolled her eyes, "It didn't. I had a panic attack in the lobby instead after Adam called me. I'm sure I'll be getting a polite rejection email next week." She let out her breath. "Goodbye, dream internship."

She took another sip. Before Nate could reply, she continued, "Do I have a sign on my head that says gullible? Can you believe my luck that my last three boyfriends have cheated on me? How can I be so naive time and time again? It's like I want to be taken advantage of, or something." She took another sip. "This is so dumb." Sip. "The worst part of this whole situation is that I was looking forward to seeing him. Adam. Like, seeing him." She stopped her thoughts and finished the rest of her drink. She put her drink down, and motioned for Nate to fill it again.

"I have to just get over him." She watched as Nate poured her drink, then handed it back to her. Nate took a sip of his drink as she continued. "When all I wanted this weekend was to get under him. Multiple times." Nate almost choked.

"Sorry, overshare" Mackenzie laughed, suddenly embarrassed. She did not mean to imply anything about her sex life to Nate but the liquor was acting as liquid courage.

Nate laughed, "Hey, I get it. We're both mature adults. You're a girl with needs, no need to be embarrassed." He wanted to leap across the couch and kiss her right then and there, but he stayed put.

Nate's train of thought was derailed by his phone buzzing. Dan.

"Hey Dan," he said, putting down his glass.

Mackenzie took this pause as an opportunity to get off the couch. "Be right back," she mouthed at Nate. She took a few steps away and started to tear off her sweatshirt, suddenly overheating. She pulled it over her head as she walked towards her room, revealing her nearly bare back to Nate. He watched as she walked away, eyes fixated on the back of her satin bra. He noticed a small tattoo between her shoulder blades and watched until she disappeared into her room.

"Nate? Hello?"

Nate shook his head. Right. His phone call.

"Dan, sorry. Hey."

"Was everything okay at the loft? I was waiting on your call."

"I'm still at the loft, actually."

"What? Why? Is Mackenzie okay?"

"She seems fine. She was self medicating with bourbon but I'm waiting out the weather so I'm hanging out for a bit."

Nate heard Dan sigh, "Well, I'm equally comforted and disturbed by the fact that you're keeping her company but, okay. Do you think you can put her on the phone?" Nate pulled the phone away from his ear.

"Mackenzie, Dan wants to talk to you." She reappeared from her room, now wearing a loose black tank top instead of her hoodie. She walked towards the couch but shook her head, leaving the phone with Nate.

"You can tell Dan that I'm too busy falling in love with every man who smiles at me to talk to him." She returned to her spot at the end of the couch and grabbed her drink again, smirking at Nate.

"Did you hear that?" Nate said into the phone, a bit confused by her statement. He heard Dan sigh.

"Yeah, whatever. I'll let that go because she's having a bad day. Thanks for being there, Nate." The two friends hung up and Nate turned toward Mackenzie.

"What was that about?"

She rolled her eyes and finished her drink again. Between the wine earlier and the rush of the bourbon, she was starting to feel pretty flighty. She was starting to forget most of the overwhelming sadness that had been clouding her day, and was feeling more of something else - nothing. Free spirited and nothing.

She got up off the couch and made her way back towards the kitchen and her dad's cabinet of liquor.

"Dan and I got into a bit of a…." she trailed off, bending down to grab some of the bottles out, "squabble the other day. Apparently,  _you_ told him I was flirting with Mr. Australia at the cocktail party." She stopped her sentence, giving Nate a playful smile. "I wasn't flirting. At least I don't think I was flirting." She turned and searched through the cupboard behind her. Her eyes finally landed on two shot glasses, one touristy with the London flag on it and the other from a Hard Rock cafe restaurant.

Nate grimaced as he got up off the couch. He was hoping this wouldn't come up in conversation. He knew he had no right to be annoyed or jealous that she was talking to another guy - even if that guy was handsome and charming and Australian and-

"Nate," she interrupted his train of thought and motioned him towards the kitchen island. He slid into the stool across from her and she slid a shot glass toward him. He left the shot glass where it was, resting his hand tentatively on it, slowing rubbing his thumb and finger along the top.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?"

"I'm trying to get  _me_  drunk," she said to him, like it was the most obvious response. "You are here for moral support or something."

 _I'm here to make sure you don't drink until you pass out._ Nate smiled at her, watching her take the shot quickly. She scrunched her face and closed her eyes as the mixture made its way down her throat.

"I wasn't flirting with the Australian," she sighed, leaning down on the counter, looking at Nate. "If I'm being honest, I don't even know when I'm flirting. People don't flirt with me. Although I didn't mind the attention, if I'm being honest."

"Speaking on honesty. Will  _you_  be honest with me?" Mackenzie grabbed another bottle from the counter and refilled her shot glass.

"Of course," Nate responded. He could see she was getting pretty drunk and it was probably a good time to try and cut her off. He watched as she tried to formulate her next sentence, quickly rubbing her face and pushing her hair onto one side. She let out a breath and moistened her lips.

"Why do you care who I flirt with anyway?"

_Fuck._

To avoid answering, Nate took this chance to finally tip the shot glass into his mouth. He took a moment as the liquid burned down the back of his throat and shut his eyes for a quick moment.

"I've just been thinking about you - I mean, the fact that you told Dan you saw me flirting with this guy but like, why does it matter?" She tilted her head as she looked at him, stifling a yawn. It was getting late.

"Is there any way I can postpone my answer?"

Before Mackenzie could get out her witty, unintentionally flirty response to him, the wind howled outside. They both looked towards the window, which was cracked open, as the rainstorm outside picked up. There was a sudden crash and the apartment went dark.

"Fuck."

Nate smiled to himself in the dark. There was something about hearing her swear that made her even that much more attractive to him, even now, in a nearly pitch black apartment.

Mackenzie took a deep breath and walked towards the window, glancing outside onto the streets. Everything was black.

"Well, that is great." She let out a breath. Usually with the lights out, the apartment was illuminated by the moonlight. With the dark clouds above causing the rain storm, there wasn't much visible in the apartment. "I just want to put it out there that I do not love the dark. So if you wouldn't mind making a loud noise so I know where you are, I would appreciate it."

"Still over at the island," Nate said to her, his voice like a beacon of comfort in the darkness.

"Do you think this will last long? My dad keeps a generator downstairs I think or he used to but I'm a little too drunk to really think about traversing all the way down there." Mackenzie started to breathe a bit heavier. She really did not care for the darkness. She usually slept with at least a lamp in the living room on, casting a gentle illumination across the apartment. She had gotten over the silly irrational fear for the most part, but there were moments in the darkness, like right now, where her mind raced. Her breathing continued to pick up and she moved away from the window.

"I bet the lights will come back on soon. I mean, grids go down all the time. I'm sure they're working on it." Mackenzie moved back towards the island and bumped into Nate, unintentionally. He grabbed the small of her back with his hands to steady her, but quickly let go.

"Thanks," she said quietly, suddenly keenly aware of how close she was to him. She reached out towards the bottles on the counter and grabbed one.

"I think I should cut you off," Nate said to her, reaching his hands to grab the bottle from her. His hands landed on hers. He felt a jolt of something fly through him.

_Maybe she felt it, too._

"Just one more sip okay, I promise." He let go of her hands on the bottle. She didn't know what she grabbed from the assortment but brought it to her mouth, taking a long final drink. It was hot, cinnamon. Fireball. She put down the bottle and turned slightly, facing Nate in the darkness.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Mackenzie could hear Nate smiling, she was sure of it.

"Will you stay here tonight?" Mackenzie wasn't sure where this bold voice was coming from, somewhere deep within her. She knew Nate had a driver who could take him home at any opportunity, but she was feeling unsafe, thinking about being alone. "I know you probably have a beautiful warm Upper West Side apartment full of beautiful pillows and beautiful tile in your bathroom and you think this loft is very unbeautiful and you're wearing Dan's old sweatpants and you can't stop thinking about what Dan might have done in those pants-"

"I wasn't thinking that until now," Nate laughed in response to her. In the dull light coming in from outside far near the windows, he could see her eyes shining. Glossy, tired. But there was something about her eyes. "I'll stay."

"Are you sure?"

"I'll sleep on the couch." Nate knew it was the right thing to do. Despite his strong desire to slide into bed beside her, it was likely the wrong idea. She was fresh off a break up. Vulnerable. Lost. Confused.

Mackenzie knew she was feeling vulnerable, lost, and confused.

"I think for safety reasons that is a bad idea. What if the power never comes back and it turns into an ice age out there and we both freeze to death? I need you close by. For emergency body heat purposes," she replied to him, proud of her own foolproof logic. Mackenzie was usually one to play it safe and reserved. Something about being in the dark with Nate Archibald, not able to meet his playful eyes, made this seem so easy.

Nate wanted to kiss her right then and there, but he restrained himself. He reached out and took her hands in his. She sighed, content.

A few minutes later they were both lying side by side in her bed, half a dozen extra blankets now piled at their feet in case the lights and heat didn't kick back on during the night.

Mackenzie was somewhere between nervous and excited, feeling Nate in the bed beside her. It was a full queen bed. She had luckily upgraded from what Jenny used to have and she was grateful for the space.

"Nate!" she turned onto her side suddenly, facing him.

"What? Are you okay?" he did the same, propping his head up on his elbow.

"What do you think is going on with the balloons?"

"What?"

"The balloons. For the parade tomorrow." Mackenzie shut her eyes. "I love the parade. What if the balloons were all ruined? What about the giant turkey balloon? Tomorrow is his one day to shine." She sniffled to herself.

"Mack, I assure you there are...balloon people taking care of it. The turkey will be fine."

She nodded her head to him, trying to push away her absurd drunk thoughts. She closed her eyes tightly.

"You never told me your response," she said, falling onto her back. "Why did you care so much about me flirting with Austria? Oz. Australia." She fumbled through her syllables, yawning again and covering her eyes with her forearm.

Nate just watched her small movements, hardly any light coming in through the window again but just enough to see the details of her face. He ran his hand through his hair and fell back onto his pillow in the same fashion.

"Honesty,  _Nathaniel_." She moved her arm from her eyes and turned her head towards him.

He smiled at her, unsure if she could see him.

"I can flirt with whoever I want to, you know," she continued on, her words a bit incoherent. She turned on her side again, inches from his face.

"Of course I know that. All I will say,  _Mackenzie,_ next time you're at a party, dressed up.." he paused, turning towards her again, their noses almost touching, "..maybe you'll consider flirting with me instead." He let out a quiet breath and laid a gentle kiss on her forehead. She had fallen asleep. "Goodnight, Mack."


	7. Chapter 7

Mackenzie slept so soundly, so comfortably. She wasn't sure if it was the company - the overwhelming sense of security having someone by her side all night - or the alcohol that caused her peaceful dreamstate. But it was nice.

She had stirred once in the middle of the night. The power had returned. She felt Nate slip out of bed to turn all the lights off in the living room and kitchen area. Mackenzie was half conscious for these few moments. She rolled onto her back as he returned to the bed beside her. She may have imagined it in her delirium, but as he was laying down beside her, she could have sworn he had kissed her forehead, ever so gently. As he got back into a comfortable sleeping position, halfway on his side and stomach, he threw his arm over her. In her sleep state, she clutched onto his arm with hers and they fell back asleep.

When Mackenzie finally woke up, there was light streaming through her window. No more rain clouds. A brand new day. She rolled over and reached out to see if Nate was still there, but she was alone in her bed. For a moment, Mackenzie worried she had dreamed the whole thing.

Her mind started to race. Maybe he had left. Okay, sure, maybe he did leave - so what? He didn't have to stay. He has his own life. Plus, it's Thanksgiving. Maybe he has brunch with his family or a work emergency.

Mackenzie sighed and sat up in her bed but quickly regretted the move. Her head was pounding, her stomach nauseous. Her mouth tasted awful and it was incredibly dry. A lesson learned in not overdoing it on bourbon and a variety of other liquors. She rubbed her eyes with her right hand and swung her legs off the side of the bed. She noticed her bedroom doors were closed and she could hear a cupboard closing in the kitchen.

She slowly pulled open the doors and found Nate leaning on the kitchen island, cell phone up to his ear.

"Hey Leo, let me call you back in a few minutes," Nate stood up and smiled when he saw Mackenzie walking from her room. He placed his phone down. "I hope I didn't wake you up trying to search for your French press and coffee mugs." He was still wearing the sweat pants and shirt, his hair was slightly tousled, a gentle form of bed head. The sun was filling the apartment, bouncing off the yellow walls of the kitchen. For a brief moment, things were temporarily domestic.

She smiled at his statement, "You didn't wake me up. This headache woke me up." She threw her hand up and she put up one finger, indicating a pause in their conversation. She ducked into the bathroom and threw open the medicine cabinet, grabbing a bottle of Advil. She closed the cabinet doors and let out a breath as she looked in the mirror. Her eyes were still slightly swollen from crying, leftover mascara staining her eyelids. She quickly wiped her face and threw her messy hair into a loose bun on the top of her head. She returned to the kitchen and walked around Nate to grab a glass for water.

"Parades starting soon. In case you're concerned about the turkey balloon," Nate smirked at her, crossed his arms as he leaned back against the counter. She rolled her eyes at him as she swallowed a few pills and sipped on the water.

Before she could quip back at him, his phone started to ring. She motioned for him to take it and made her way towards the couch, collapsing into the corner and pulling a throw blanket onto her lap. She half listened to Nate's side of the conversation as she turned on the TV, which sat across from the couch in the middle of the bookcase unit. She admittedly didn't spend much time watching TV and thought it was an unfortunate service for her dad to continue to pay but she was grateful to watch the annual Macy's parade as she nursed her hangover.

She glanced over at Nate as he talked and her brain ran over the last 24 hours.

Adam. Break up. Panic attack. Interview. Rain. Tears. Bourbon. Nate. Breakdown. Tears. Nate. Liquor. Power outage. Nate. Sleep. Flirting. Nate. Nate. Nate.

" _..maybe you'll consider flirting with me instead."_

She hated to admit her mixed feelings about her break up with Adam: shame, after being lead on for so long; a strange melancholy for believing he would change or things would be different if he showed up; and lastly, relief, knowing now she was free to explore her feelings for Nate without guilt. But maybe it was too soon to even consider those things.

Maybe it was naive to even think he would have feelings for her, too.

_He stayed over last night. In your bed! And he's still here making coffee. And maybe you dreamed it, but he kissed your forehead and wrapped his arms around you._

She was conflicted. Maybe he just wanted to be her friend. And maybe that's okay. Maybe that was all she needed. Even if she had been thinking about kissing him since the moment he had come by the loft for that crate of records weeks ago.

Nate hung up his follow up phone call with Leo. He was grateful to run a successful business that gave his staff two days off for the Thanksgiving holiday, but the power outage that temporarily swept through the city had thrown things for a loop. Leo managed to reset the server remotely and their news schedule was in the clear. One of his junior reporters took the task of writing up about the storm and repercussions and Nate made a note to ensure overtime and holiday pay was given accordingly.

He watched Mackenzie for a moment after the call, she was lost in thought curled up in the blanket, closing her eyes every few seconds. He wouldn't admit it but he found her disheveled, hungover appearance appealing - the natural sunlight shone down on her messy bun and washed across her tired face. The not-even-close to put together look screamed comfort and vulnerability, and Nate felt he was getting a very real side of her. He liked it. He wanted to get to know her more.

He knew she was in an uncertain state, having only parted ways with her boyfriend less than 24 hours ago. But he was excited about the possibility and guilt free opportunity to talk with her, flirt with her, be close to her. If she wanted. At her pace. If the right moment presented itself.

He smiled to himself as her eyes darted towards the TV. The parade. He poured some cream into a cup of coffee for her and a splash into his, plus a spoonful of sugar off the counter sugar bowl, and sat down on the couch beside her, extending the coffee towards her.

"Thank youuuu," she drew out her words, giving Nate a smile as she took a sip of the coffee.

"For both the coffee and the company. I realize you probably wanted to go home last night and maybe you would have preferred your own bed but, I just.. I was really happy you stayed."

He opened up his mouth to reply, then stopped himself.

"What?" Mackenzie put her cup of coffee down and shifted her body to face Nate at the opposite end of the couch. She watched his face carefully, he moved his jaw and closed his eyes for a quick moment.

"Oh my god, Nate, just say whatever it is you're thinking." She started to breathe a bit heavier than she intended, suddenly worried about what he wanted to reveal. She was right. He didn't even want to be friends. He wants to just go home now. He's trying to figure out how to say he regretted his entire evening and -

"Mackenzie, I took that meeting in DUMBO yesterday because I was hoping I would run into you. That rainstorm and call from Dan was the perfect opportunity for me to just...see you again."

"But.. that conversation I heard. With Chuck...you said you're hardly even friends with me and.."

"Mack, I promise you heard that wrong."

"I definitely heard Chuck Bass say I'm a bit thick but I have an exquisite face, apparently." Mackenzie was annoyed recalling the overheard conversation.

"Did you hear Nate Archibald call you attractive and smart and specifically mention your incredible body?"

Mackenzie shook her head. "Nate, these last 24 hours have been a mess. I don't want you just saying these things…"

Nate stood up. He hated to feel frustrated by this but he took a few steps away from the couch and finally turned back, "Mack, I think about you all the time. I know you have a boyfriend, or you had a boyfriend but.. And this is terrible timing. I promise I'm not trying to play with your feelings right now..." He paced around the coffee table. "Oh, god, that morning you were at the office in your Yankees hat… I just... " He paused. "This is so silly." He stopped in front of her. "Mackenzie Humphrey, I have a crush on you."

Mackenzie opened her mouth to respond, then closed her mouth. Her mind was racing. Her heart was pounding. She felt an overwhelming heat cross her chest. She swallowed then brought her hand up to her face, rubbing her temples.

"You have a crush on me?" Her voice came out like a whisper. She shut her eyes for a moment.

"Yes."

"That's the cutest thing I have ever heard," she finally said, quietly, meeting Nate's gaze as he looked down at her. He smiled, his body relaxed.

"Well, thanks. Here I am, leaving it all on the table and you call me cute."

"Technically, I didn't call you cute, actually. I said your choice of words were cute."

Nate sighed and fell back onto the couch beside her. "Ouch."

"Nate," Mackenzie turned on the couch, letting the blanket fall onto the floor. She sat on her knees, facing him. "Sorry. Nathaniel Archibald, I have a crush on you, too." She reached her hands out, inviting his. He shifted his weight and extended his hands to meet hers. "You've just gotta know that this," she released one hand and pointed to her heart, "is a mess right now. So, whatever this," she motioned her hand between herself and Nate, "could be...it has to move at a snail's pace. Tiny, baby steps.."

Nate just smiled and pulled her in towards him, her head resting on his chest, "Let's just watch the parade, okay?"

* * *

Mackenzie stepped out of the taxi at the Van Der Woodsen apartment, feeling recovered enough and put together to face what she could only imagine to be an over the top Thanksgiving dinner. She paused for a minute on the sidewalk, mentally preparing herself for the extravaganza.

She had texted Serena earlier that day, explaining that she would no longer have a plus one and to apologize for screwing up the seating plan. Serena was incredibly understanding and told her not to worry. She said there would be plenty of time to lament Mackenzie's stupid exboyfriend and wine to wash him away.

Mackenzie had also texted Dan to apologize for her immaturity in handling their fight. He said he wanted to talk about it later and even offered to take her out for breakfast Friday. She was agreeable but hoping to move on from their tiff quickly.

She had spent the entire morning curled up on the couch with Nate, nodding on and off in his arms as they watched the parade. Well, Mackenzie watched the parade and Nate did some work things, apologizing to her every time he checked his email or took a phone call. He left the apartment just after noon rolled around, having to get home and ready himself for his own family Thanksgiving dinner.

He stood at the door before he left, just gazing at her. "Can I kiss you goodbye?"

Mackenzie sighed at him but shook her head, "Baby steps, okay? I'm just not ready for that. If I kiss you, I might never want to leave your lips."

"Is that so bad?" he leaned on the door frame, a charming smirk crossing his face. She leaned in and kissed his cheek and finally let him leave. She couldn't believe the overwhelming sense of comfort he gave her. She just wanted to spend the rest of the day with him, the rest of the week. All her hours. But she knew she had to pace herself. They discussed tentatively getting together again this weekend for dinner or a movie or a night in but nothing concrete.

Despite spending the morning together, they messaged all afternoon.

' _Nate, can we agree that whatever this is stays between us for right now?'_

' _Of course.'_

' _I don't want people to get the wrong idea, especially when I don't even know how I feel. Well, I know how I feel. But, you know what I mean.'_

' _Keeping it a secret sounds pretty fun actually ;)'_

' _Agreed. I wish you were coming to dinner - then i could make flirty eye contact with you across the room ;)'_

' _Is it too forward to say I already miss you?'_

Mackenzie was smitten.

Now, hours later she was getting into the elevator and heading to the Van Der Woodsen penthouse, trying to get Nate out of her mind for a few hours.

As she made her way upstairs, she self consciously ran her hands through her hair, making sure her high ponytail was still in tact. She had pulled out an old emerald dress from her closet, with a modest halter neckline, black overlay lace bodice and hemline that fell near the knee. She covered her legs with black leggings and had short cognac Louboutin boots on her feet. She didn't wear them often but they were a gift from her sister and fitting for her outfit and occasion.

She stepped off the elevator and heard a great amount of chatter in the apartment. She turned towards the living room and saw a gathering of people mingling, drinks in hand. The room was decorated with autumnal coloured florals and soft music filled the atmosphere.

She could see Dan across the room chatting with Eric and her eyes scanned the crowd for more familiar faces. Lily and William, Chuck and Blair, Blair's mother and husband, and a quite a few faces she didn't recognize. The grand leather sofas had been moved to the outside of the room and replaced by a long dining table, beautifully decorated for the evening.

Serena spotted her from across the room and met her near the coat room, "I'm so glad you're finally here. Let me get you some wine!" Serena grabbed her coat and hung it up quickly, then came back out.

"Actually I need your assistance quickly!" Mackenzie grabbed her hand and quickly cut through the crowd, pulling Serena into the study with her. "This is terribly embarrassing but I couldn't get my dress zipped up at home. I usually had a roommate or my mom or Adam to help and.." Mackenzie stopped in her tracks and let go of Serena's hand once they got to the room at the end of the hall when she saw who was in there. Nate, looking out the window with who Mackenzie assumed was Henry in his arms.

"Nate, hi." Mackenzie said to him, eyes wide, a smile crossed her face.

"Turn around," Serena instructed her and she obliged, breaking her eye contact with Nate. Serena pulled up the gold zipper on her dress and patted her shoulder. "Don't you know the trick with the paperclip? Also, how many tattoos do you actually have?"

Mackenzie smiled at her, "You are a lifesaver, Serena."

"Okay, you need wine. I will be back." Serena smiled at her and turned to leave the room, "White?"

"White. Dry."

As the blonde departed, Mackenzie turned her attention over to Nate. She met him at the window with Henry and stood as they watched the view of the city.

"What happened to your dinner?" she asked Nate, waving her hand at the little guy in his arms. "Hi Henry."

"My grandfather is recovering from the flu, so it's turned into brunch tomorrow instead," he replied to her. He lowered his voice and cocked his head as he continued, "That dress looks incredible on you."

"Nate," she warned, holding back her smile, "You can't do that. I blush easily."

"I like making you blush," he said smoothly, smirking at her and gently biting his lip.

Serena popped back into the room a few moments later, a glass of white wine in her hands, "For you, Mack. To wash away the bad energy of a bad boyfriend. Although Nate said the bourbon had it's way with you last night." She winked at her.

"Let's just say I'll take it slow tonight," Mackenzie laughed, turning her eyes from Nate and heading out of the room with Serena.

Serena hurried ahead while Nate and Mackenzie were intercepted by Blair in the hallway.

"There you are," Blair said to Nate, reaching out to grab Henry from his arms, "It's time to say goodbye to grand-mere and grand-pere and head home to bed, my baby boy."

"Uncle Nate was just showing him the city lights," Nate smiled at Henry as Blair smiled meekly and turned away from them, presumably to turn Henry over to his nanny to take home for the rest of the evening.

Nate grabbed Mackenzie's hand for a moment to stop her in the hallway, "Can I take you out for a drink after dinner tonight?" Mackenzie smiled as she looked down at their hands intertwined, even for a few moments. He brushed his thumb across the back of her hand before letting go.

She pursed her lips to hold in her smile and elation, "Yes, I would love that."

* * *

After an eventful dinner, Nate's initial plan of taking Mackenzie out for a drink was thwarted by Chuck. He suggested the younger crowd disappear quickly to the bar at the Empire instead, on his dime.

After Serena continued to replenish Mackenzie's glass of wine all night, she was happy to be getting fresh air as they waited for their cars outside.

Eric, who was also reeling from his three glasses of red wine, announced he would like to walk instead, so Mackenzie opted to join him.

"It's 40 degrees out, you people are insane," Dan laughed as he opened a cab door for Serena, following behind Chuck and Blair who insisted they take their own ride for personal reasons.

"It's only 10 blocks," Eric protested, shrugging.

"You coming Nate?" Dan said to him, pausing to close the cab door. Nate looked from his friends in the cab over to Mackenzie and Eric, who were starting their journey to the Empire.

"I think I'll supervise these two," Nate laughed, waving Serena and Dan to go ahead.

He rushed up ahead to meet them and walked beside Eric on the left, as Mackenzie had linked her arm with his on the right.

"I think I made the wrong shoe choice for hiking across town," Mackenzie whined playfully.

"You know, there's still time to wave down a cab instead," Nate joked, motioning to the vehicles on the street.

"No, we are not quitters, Archibald," Eric said sternly, a determined smile on his face.

"I had forgotten about the inevitable drama that circled at big family dinners," Mackenzie said to Eric, reflecting on the dinner they had all just escaped from.

Eric just shrugged, "Oh, my mother is notorious for big announcements that come out of nowhere and go nowhere. Her dramatic tale about how her and my dad want to adopt a child from the other side of the world will be forgotten about by Christmas."

As they reached the end of the block, they paused and waited to cross at the crosswalk. Just as the light changed, Mackenzie tripped and braced onto Eric to stop herself from falling.

"That is the wine, I swear. I am usually very graceful," she giggled.

"Nate, you need to anchor her on the other side," Eric said, directing Nate to the opposite side of their trio. He happily obliged and placed himself on Mackenzie's right side, slipping his hand into hers. She looked over at him for a brief moment and smiled, squeezing his hand.

"Speaking of Christmas, Jen said you and your mom are visiting this year?" Eric continued on, oblivious to the hand holding happening on the other side of the sidewalk.

The three continued to talk and laugh as they made their way to the Empire. Nate held onto Mackenzie's hand until the moment they walked in, and followed behind after checking their coats.

"Drinks?" Nate said to her and Eric as they found their way to the rest of the group awaiting at a big booth in the corner.

"Merlot." Eric said definitively. "And maybe a glass of water."

"Something with whiskey, to warm me up," Mackenzie said to Nate, a playful smirk on her face. He let out a breath and gave her a look that said 'C'mon, you're killing me'.

Nate met them at the booth a few moments later, followed by a waiter with drinks in hand. He placed a glass of wine in front of Eric and handed a cocktail to Mackenzie. She thanked him then turned to Serena to continue their conversation.

"I have to be honest, at this point, I can't answer that. I don't know if I remember him having any redeeming qualities now," Mackenzie was discussing her break up with Adam to Serena, "And I do not want to hear your I Told You So Speech, Daniel."

"Oh, I hate when you Daniel me," Dan rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his beer.

Serena put her arm on Mackenzie's, "I'm sure he wasn't that bad."

"I swear, he probably didn't even remember my middle name. For my birthday in April, he got me a gift card from a gas station," Mackenzie paused, rolling her own eyes remembering her indiscretions. "He couldn't even pick me up flowers." She paused again to sip her drink, "I actually don't think any of my boyfriends have ever bought me flowers."

"Oh, that is not right. We need to get this girl flowers!" Serena laughed, then paused, "Honestly Mack, you'll find the right person. Dan and I found each other after a long hard road." She leaned back into Dan and he gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"I find it continuously offensive when happy couples give the 'you'll find the right person' speech," Eric said, sipping on his glass of wine.

"Agreed," Mackenzie laughed, "I'm off dating for a while, I think." Eric escaped the booth a few moments later and Nate slid closer to Mackenzie.

"So Nate, ready for the Vanderbilts tomorrow?" Serena asked.

"Not even a bit ready, Tripp specifically told me he wanted to pick me up and drive together to brunch so we have time to 'chat'," Nate rolled his eyes, then took a sip of his drink, "I know family is family but,"

"Forgiveness is not always easy," Serena finished his thought, nodding. Serena and Dan moved out of the booth next, heading for another drink and to see if they could track down Blair and Chuck who still hadn't appeared, but likely had found their way to Chuck's old penthouse instead.

Nate turned his head around to scan the room quickly to see if Eric was coming back, then shifted his body towards Mackenzie, "I hope you were joking about being off dating for a while," he said to her quietly, a worried look on his face. "Not that I want to rush you into something you don't want or anything. I know you're fresh off your break up.."

"All I want is to figure this out, you and me, slow and steady," she responded, smiling. "I'm just trying to play the part if this is going to be secret. I think I like secret." She placed her hand on his knee, then moved it very briefly to his thigh, "Liquid courage." She finished the last of her drink and moved her hands back to the table, playing with the condensation of the glass.

He let out a breath and leaned back in the booth, "You're killing me, Humphrey." He paused, trying to gain some self control, "Come over tomorrow night?"

She shrugged, then playfully asked, "What's in it for me?"

"Dinner? Hot tub?"

"I don't even think I have a swimsuit."

"Who says you need one?"

"Woah, I said slow and steady, Mr. Archibald."

"Okay, just dinner?"

"Yes, I'm in."

"It's a date."

**xoxoxo**

_coming up next: So dear readers, are you up for some sauciness? A visit to Nate's apartment and his hot tub? Mackenzie searches for another internship and perhaps a certain Mr. Bass is going to help her out. It's going to be a wild ride._


	8. Chapter 8

Mackenzie was sent home in a cab by her brother and Nate around 1AM, many cocktails consumed later. The whole evening had been a happy distraction from her messy heart. Nate texted her from the moment she left until she fell asleep, setting her off to dream about their Friday night 'date' at his apartment.

She had plans with Dan Friday morning to visit the Brooklyn Flea Market. It wasn't the normal destination for Black Friday shopping following the Thanksgiving holiday, but it was an old Humphrey tradition to go shopping at the flea market for holiday presents.

She woke up early, headache free despite her surplus of drinks the night before. Mackenzie winced as she stepped out of bed, feeling a sharpness in her left thigh. She sighed and stretched her leg out, gritting her teeth as the pain lessened and a tingling sensation flooded her leg.

 _Thanks for the nerve damage, Edward Baker,_  she thought to herself, closing her eyes tightly and taking a few deep breaths. Some days she didn't think about the shooting at all, and other days, it haunted her mind and had a lasting effect. One stray bullet from the spray of an assault rifle had left a permanent mark of scar tissue and residual, chronic pain that would likely come and go for the rest of her life.

She sighed again and stood up. She had overdone it walking so much in those extreme heels yesterday. Today was definitely a flat footwear day. She contemplated for a moment wrapping her leg in the compression sleeve, as recommended by her doctor, but she decided against it.

She quickly changed into a pair of black leggings paired and a strappy white tank top. She pulled her hair out of the bun sitting on top of her head and brushed it out with her hands. She glanced down at her phone as she walked towards the kitchen and living room. Looking around briefly to gauge the space, she sat on the floor and stretched her legs out into a V pattern. She winced in pain again as her leg tingled.

She noticed Dan had texted her that he was on his way and he would meet her at the loft.

She also realized she had a few texts from Nate. One wishing her a good morning and the other a selfie from his run, a smile on his sweaty face: ' _I was hoping this run would distract me from thinking of you. It didn't work. Can't wait for tonight. :)'_

Mackenzie let out a sigh, a smile crossed her face. Smitten. She laid down flat on the floor and raised her phone up to take a picture from above. She scrunched up her face with a smile and sent it to him: ' _This is what my face does when you send me cute messages like that.'_

He responded just a few minutes later: ' _You know the first thing my eyes went to in that photo was your cleavage, right? ;)' 'Also why are you on the floor?'_

' _Femoral neuropathy. Long story. I'll tell you later if you really want the details.'_

' _I want every detail about you.'_

' _Oh my god, Archibald. Stop. :)'_

' _Blushing?'_

Their conversation was cut off by Dan's arrival at the apartment, using his key this time.

"Good morning, sunshine. Why are you on the floor?" he gave her a quizzical look, leaning against the kitchen island.

"My leg," she said slowly, getting back onto her feet. "I've been neglecting stretching. Please, don't lecture me."

Dan put his hands up in defense, "I didn't say anything. I'm not Dad, you know."

Mackenzie rolled her eyes at the comment, and pulled on a grey crewneck Northeastern sweatshirt and her leather jacket. "Where are we going? Reunion? I've been craving banana bread french toast."

After breakfast the Humphrey siblings made their way to the flea market, busy as ever for a holiday morning. They scavenged around, looking for little gifts and ideas for their family members. Mackenzie wandered away from her brother for a while, finding a pair of vintage leather gloves that had Jenny's name written all over it.

As she made her way through the stalls of old clothes, she stopped in front of a t-shirt vendor, specializing in band t-shirts.

"Oh my god," she said out loud, pulling her phone out to text her brother for his location. "I need that shirt." She pointed up at the wall and the employee pulled it down for her.

"Lincoln Hawk, huh? Not many people listen to this anymore, even ironically," he said to her, handing her the shirt to look at. "$25"

She laughed, then pulled out her wallet. "These are hard to find, I've looked for years. Thanks." She tucked the shirt away into her bag and met up with Dan a few minutes later in the record section. She told him about her find and he looked at her, a bit hesitant.

"It's not from the tour with Pearl Jam, is it?" Dan asked his sister, as he continued to flip through old records.

"Uhm, I don't know. I just bought it so quickly, I didn't even think about that," she responded to him, reaching into her bag and pulling out the shirt. Generic, not a tour tee.

"All clear," she confirmed, tucking it away again, "I forgot about the 'Questionable Fidelity' timeline and how it coincided with that tour. Would you believe I try to block a lot of that out of my brain.." Mackenzie sighed. The initial catalyst of the end of Rufus and Alison's marriage, although it wouldn't come to a head until years later. Paternity test, doubts, resentment, reflection. Truth be told, Mackenzie had a hard time forgiving her father. She envied the relationship Jenny had with him. The closeness. The casual laughter. Every now and then she felt it, then the resentment came back in hot.

Dan put a hand on her shoulder momentarily, then moved on in his search. She gave him a meek smile.

"I know it's been rough over the years but you and Dad are doing pretty well these days, right? He'll love the gift."

* * *

Mackenzie had to remind herself to breathe as she walked towards Nate's building on the Upper West Side. She had just spent the latter half of the afternoon and early evening at Columbia in the library, researching current economic news and strategizing her next move for finding an internship. She also had her final research proposal due for her class on Monday and was still not entirely finished.

Before she had left the loft earlier, she had changed over three times, trying to determine the proper attire for casual date night in. She had opted to just wear a pair of black skinny jeans and a loose wine red t-shirt, underneath a chambray denim shirt. She had a pair of short lace up, flat black boots on her feet and a cropped leather jacket.

Despite her continuous conversation with Nate throughout the day, she was nervous.

She reached down and rummaged through her weekender bag to find her phone and double check she was approaching the right building. She stopped at the end of the block and felt her phone buzz, a message from Nate.

' _What's your ETA? :)'_

She laughed and typed out a response, ' _Five minutes?'_

It was comforting to know Nate was excited to see her, too.

She walked towards the building and paused as the doors opened automatically for her. She made her way inside and stopped at the doorman.

"Uhm. I'm here visiting Nate Archibald," she said quickly, feeling a bit out of place inside his lavish apartment building.

"Name, ma'am?"

"Humphrey. Uh, Mackenzie Humphrey," she replied. She rubbed her hands together nervously, reaching to rotate a ring on her right hand.

He gave her a smile, "1402, you can go ahead up through the elevator." She thanked him and sighed again.

As she traveled up the elevator, the nervous feeling in her stomach grew more and more intensely. Maybe this was a big mistake. Maybe it was too soon. She contemplated for a brief moment hitting the emergency stop button on the elevator.  _You're being insane. What's the worst thing that could happen?_ The worst part about doing something secretly was not having a release - no girlfriends to tell to discuss text messages and flirting at long length.

Yes, Nate was flirting with her. She knew that, without a doubt. And she was flirting with him. But she didn't know very much about him still, well about how he dated. Maybe he flirted with a lot of girls. Maybe that 'I have a crush on you line' was something he used all the time.

_Or stop being paranoid and try to see what happens._

As the elevator dinged, she took a few more deep breaths and tried to calm her racing mind. It's just one date. She stepped outside the elevator and looking quickly to her right then left. She carefully made her way down the hall, and found 1402.  _Here goes nothing_.

She knocked on his door and it opened just seconds later, as if Nate had been waiting behind the door for her.

"Hi." Nate stepped away from the opened door and ushered her in, a big smile crossing her face. She walked in and kicked off her boots, dropped her bag off to the side then stopped to take a look around.

"Nate, this place is incredible," she said with honesty, her eyes taking in the room. To the left was his kitchen, with a jutted out island and stools. In front of her was a large living room, complete with a small marble dining table and a large navy leather couch. On the far wall was double doors, leading out to a wrap around terrace.

As she took a few steps further in, he walked past her into the kitchen. "Wine?"

"Yes, please. But, I really need to pace myself. What is it about this city that makes drinking such a facet of social gatherings?"

"Was getting drunk by yourself at the loft Wednesday really a social gathering?" Nate joked with her, pouring a glass of white wine. She slipped off her jacket and rolled her eyes.

"You were there with me, so yes, I think that's a social gathering," she retorted, grabbing the glass from him. "Thank you." She took a big sip then placed it back down. She pursed her lips together for a moment, then smiled.

"What?" he asked, cocking his head slightly.

"Nate, I'm nervous. I can't believe I'm nervous," she took a few steps away from the kitchen and looked around the apartment as she continued to ramble. "Is this real? Like, is this happening? I can't help but think you could have any girl in New York in this apartment with you right now, but instead, here I am and -" She paused at the glassdoors and looked out into the city. "We could pause this right here. I mean, stop it. And forget about crushes and parades and wine and -"

She didn't realize Nate had followed her, as she suddenly felt his arm around her back, pulling her towards him.

"Mack, I don't care about every other girl in New York." He raised his hand up and brushed her hair back behind her ear, then cupped her face.

"If you kiss me right now.." she tried to continue but lost her words. She closed her eyes tightly.

"What? What is going to happen if I kiss you right now?" His words were low, a raspy, sensual whisper.

"There's no turning back.." she bit her lip, then opened her eyes to meet his. He reached his other hand up her left cheek and leaned in, his lips brushing against hers, soft at first, then firmly. He had been waiting for weeks to finally kiss her. Mackenzie gave in right away and kissed him back, her arms finding his waist as she pulled herself closer to him. She finally pulled away a few moments later, a smile glued to her face.

"Wow, okay," she let out a small laugh, as his hands fell down and grabbed hers. "I've been thinking about what that might be like since the day you ruined my risotto."

"Me too."

She let go of his hands and turned back to the window, "Uh, is it hot in here? I could really do  _that_  for the rest of the night, but uhm, slow and steady. So, show me this view, please." She took a step back and let him open the doors. She pulled off her button up shirt and tossed it onto the couch, then followed him out onto the terrace.

"It wraps around the whole corner, so it meets up with my bedroom, down there," he pointed around the area, motioning to another set of doors on the far side of the terrace. On the other side in the corner was the hot tub. She walked directly to the edge and just let out a breath. "This view...it's just breathtaking."

She looked behind her to see Nate just standing there, arms crossed, watching her. There was a smile plastered across his face. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt, with a long navy blue cardigan overtop. She liked seeing his casual look. His hair was perfectly disheveled and she couldn't wait to run her hands through it.

"So," she turned around, and started back inside the apartment, "how was brunch?" She grabbed her glass of wine and dropped down onto the couch. Nate laughed dryly as he walked into the kitchen, pulling a few bottles out of the cupboard to make himself a drink.

"It was fine," he shrugged, finding ice cubes in his freezer. She watched him mix a few liquids together, then he made his way to join her on the couch. "The Vanderbilts are a complicated bunch." She motioned for him to continue, as she worked on her glass of wine. "It's just a lot of drama over money, mainly."

"Oh," she said, "Honestly, you don't have to go into any more detail."

"No, it's just," he paused, "I like talking to you. I just don't want to drag you down with what can seem like silly family drama."

She smiled, "Tell me more."

"I have a rough history with my cousin, Tripp." He went on to describe his past interactions with his cousin, outlining Tripp's affair with Serena, the car accident, his crazy ex-wife, the car without brake lines, Chuck and Blair, and most recently, a stint in rehab. "He's really been through a lot and I know he's working on himself, but it's hard to just let all that other stuff go." He sighed, "He did recommend me for an advisory committee position at the Mayor's office. He just got a job there, and thinks I would be a good fit to consult on media communication."

"That sounds like a great opportunity," Mackenzie offered.

Nate shrugged again, "Yeah, we'll see."

"I know first hand that dealing with resentment towards family members can be a real nightmare, but only you can decide when you want to forgive him, you know."

Nate smiled at her, grateful that she was actually listening to what he was saying. He took a big sip of his drink, then put it down on the coffee table. He motioned his head for her to come towards him. She put down the wine glass and shuffled over, finding a comfortable position under his right arm, her head resting on his upper chest.

"I like this," she said quietly, letting her hands rest on his legs.

"Still nervous?" he asked her playfully, his arm resting low, near her hip. He let his fingers play with her belt loops as her shirt pulled up a bit.

"Oh, yes, but I'm trying to push the nerves away." She closed her eyes.

"Tell me why you're nervous, please. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable with me," Nate said to her. She could tell in his voice he was genuinely worried, as if he was doing something wrong.

"It's just…," she started to gather her thoughts. She pulled herself away from him and turned to him, sitting on her knees. She ran her right hand through her hair and pushed it to the side, then played nervously with her ring again. "I don't feel uncomfortable around you. It's the exact opposite. These moments, just you and me and nothing else, it's the most at ease I've felt in the last year. And it scares the shit out of me." She sighed, giving him a small smile.

Nate looked at her, trying to read her face. He could tell she was worried, he didn't want her to feel worried about trust, but the concern was there.

He reached over and grabbed her hand, "C'mere." He motioned for her to move closer and put on his hands on her waist, pulling her on top of him in a straddle position.

She leaned in and kissed him quickly, letting her forehead rest on his.

"Mack, these past few days have meant everything to me, it's like there was someone missing from my life..and now here you are," he said quietly.

She smiled at him, then worry appeared on her face, "That was very poetic but my anxiety will take a lot of convincing and I'm sorry about that." His hands traced up and down her arms, gazing deeply into her eyes.

"You have nothing to apologize for," he replied to her, pulling her a little bit closer, tracing his fingers up towards her neckline.

She leaned in and kissed him again, letting out a low 'mmmm' as he kissed her back. She reached her hands up and gripped his neck, moving her hands up to his hair. She pulled on it gently as he continued to kiss her, pausing to nibble on her lip.

He moved his hands from her hips and carressed up and down her back, then down to her lower back. HIs hands landed right at the top of her jeans. He continued to kiss her, fighting with her tongue between their mouths, taking every moment he could to bite at her lips. He left her lips for a moment, turning his attention to her neck, sending hot kisses down from her earlobe to her barely exposed shoulder and her collarbone.

"Nate," she said breathlessly, her hands still tugging on his hair. She leaned in and bit at his earlobe, her breath heavy. He moved his hands up and down her back again, reaching her back jean pockets. He grabbed her ass hard, biting at her shoulder at the same time.

"Fuck." Nate smiled at her reaction, moving his hands underneath her shirt. His fingers gently rolled up and down her spine as they made out. She felt goosebumps down her back and she shivered uncontrollably, breaking away from his lips. Her eyes were shut, reeling in the sensations flowing through her. It had been a while since she had such close physical contact, and the fact that it was Nate eliciting these feelings in her, she was overwhelmed.

Nate's hands continued their search of her backside, rubbing slowly up and down her skin. He landed on her bra and let his fingers touch it slowly, the satin soft on his fingertips. Mackenzie let out a soft, barely audible moan as she kissed him. He took her reaction as an opportunity to continue, and he quickly released the hooks, letting his hands sweep across the newly exposed skin.

Mackenzie stopped suddenly, pulling away from his lips, "Nate Archibald, did you just unhook my bra?" There was a playful smirk on her face.

"I might have? What can I say, I have fast fingers," he responded to her, giving her a sultry half smile. "I'm sorry, slow and steady. I was just caught in the moment." His hands remained under her shirt, his fingers slowly drawing circles across her skin.

She leaned in to kiss him again, "You're forgiven. But I'm calling a time out." She backed up off of him, standing up. She ran her hands through her hair again, still reeling over what they had just been doing. She wanted to go slow, but she was starting to think her body may have other plans.

Nate jumped up quickly. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down the heat in his head and the tightness in his jeans. He grabbed his glass off the table and finished off his drink.

"Oh, before I forget," he walked back into the kitchen and pulled a white box out of the fridge, bringing it back to the table in front of them in the living room.

"Oh my god, are those cookies from Levain?" she asked him, staring at him with wide eyes.

He nodded, "Yeah, you mentioned them one day when you were at the office, so I thought I would pick some up." She gave him a heartfelt look, suddenly incredibly overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness.

"Are you hungry? Like, for an actual dinner," he asked her, watching her bend over as she pulled out a cookie and started to nibble at it. How he wanted to have his hands all over her body again that very moment.

"This will tide me over for right now," she replied to him. "So, about that hot tub.."

Nate perked up quickly, "It's pret-ty nice." He watched her put the cookie down and finish off her glass of wine.

"Before you get the wrong idea, I brought a swimsuit," she laughed, walking towards the front entrance where she had dropped her bag. Before she could ask, Nate showed her the second bedroom/office was for her to leave her things and change into her swimsuit. He gave her a quick kiss as he jetted by her to change and get the hot tub open.

Mackenzie threw her bag onto the day bed in Nate's office room and dug out the new swimsuit she had bought earlier that day at Target. End of November proved to be a terrible time to search for swimwear but she managed to find a yellow bikini she was desperately hoping would fit.

It took years for her to have peace with her body and most of the time have thick legs and a softer stomach made no difference in Mackenzie's life. But here she was, changing into a triangle cut bikini and her body fears returned with full force. She swept her hair to the side and sighed as she looked in the stand up mirror near the door. She paused for a moment to picture Nate looking into the mirror every morning to make sure his suit looked good, and then shook her head. She smiled to herself and let out a breath, admiring the fit of the swimsuit and how it would do for this hot tub date. Arguably the top was a bit small, her cleavage was on display a lot more than she would typically want for other people to see. But she had a feeling Nate wouldn't mind. Or so she hoped.

 _He invited you here. Relax._  She reminded herself that it was just her and Nate, and he had already proved his interest in her. She fought back her nerves and headed back towards the living room, grabbing her button up shirt to pull on over top. She noticed the door was left open to the terrace and small lights had been turned on, strung across the ledge. There was music coming from somewhere too, softly.

_Someone knows how to set the mood._

She stepped through the doors and turned towards the left to see Nate already sitting in the hot tub, leaning back and looking towards the sky. Behind him was a small ledge, where two wine glasses were sitting, and two towels.

As she walked towards the hot tub, Nate's head moved down and a giddy smile swept across his face as he looked at her. He leaned slightly forward and took her in, half lit by the silver moonlight and the string lights illuminating the terrace.

"Okay, you're staring," Mackenzie started slowly, biting her lip as she paused at the outside of the hot tub, "What? The top is a bit small, I know, it's just all I could find and-"

"Mack, stop. You look great. That colour is.." Nate was lost for words, looking at her. His eyes swept over her whole body, from her flowing brown hair, past her nervous bitten lip, to her chest, exposed smooth skin of her midsection, the yellow bikini bottoms hugging her hips, her long legs. "Just come in, the wind is cold." She smiled, feeling slightly comforted by Nate's approval. She climbed the few stairs beside the tub, dropped her shirt off her shoulders and stepped into the hot tub with him.

She paused once her feet were in, adjusting to the heat of the water.

"You know, I've been wondering about what this tattoo was since I met you," Nate said, reaching his hand out and running his fingers across the inked lines on her left thigh. A black outline of flowers, roses and lilacs, was displayed on her skin, covering most of her lower thigh, wrapping towards the front side of her leg.

"My middle names," she smiled, looking down and watching him, her heart racing as he touched her, "Mackenzie Lilas Rose Humphrey. My mother was in a very purple place when she was pregnant with me, I guess. Lilas means lilac, in French."

Nate's hand remained on her leg, tracing down and stopping at the bottom. The design of the flowers was warped, her skin was dented, the remainder of a healed wound.

"You can touch it," she said quietly, "It's just scar tissue and trauma, now." The scar. The visual reminder of the bullet taken out of her leg. Nate ran his fingers across the two inches of skin slowly, unable to wrap his thoughts around what it was like before. Mackenzie placed her hand on his to stop him, then stepped down further into the hot tub, finding a seat across from him. Their legs overlapped under the water, and Mackenzie elevated her left leg onto the seat beside him.

"Honestly a part of me is still super pissed he ruined that tattoo, nevermind the nerve damage," she joked, trying to lift the mood. Nate smiled, unsure of how to respond.

"Is that what you mentioned this morning? Femoral…?"

"Femoral neuropathy, yeah," she reached to pull her hair up into a bun, the heat of the water causing her to feel flush, "It caused damage to my nerves, fat tissue and muscles. My rehabilitation plan really went out the window when I left Boston last spring. It usually doesn't bother me much but, today was pretty bad."

Nate frowned for a moment, "I have a really good physical therapist, if you need to get back on track," She smiled at his kindness, and nodded slightly at his recommendation.

They continued to talk in the hot tub, Mackenzie doing her best to not be distracted by Nate's upper torso glistening in the light.

"Are you really going to London over Christmas?" Nate asked her, sliding over to her side of the hot tub to sit on her right side.

She nodded, "Yeah, my mom finally booked the tickets. We're there for about eight days. I haven't seen Jenny in over a year, I'm excited to see her actually."

Nate was already disappointed at the prospect of her being on the other side of the globe for over a week, but he held back his honesty, "What about Dan and your dad?"

Mackenzie shrugged, "I think the Van Der Woodsen clan is going to Miami for Christmas this year? I don't know. And Rufus, I also have no idea. Something with his girlfriend in Seattle, I imagine." She reached to her side and grabbed her wine glass, finishing off what remained of her second pour.

Nate watched her lick her lips as she finished her wine, struggling to fight off the urge to kiss her. He wanted to be respectful and pace himself, but sitting beside her, in her slightly too small bikini top, he just wanted to touch every part of her body. He wanted to explore all of her. He cocked his head to the side and bit his lip slightly. She reached her arms up above her head and stretched momentarily, leaning her head back.

"And what do the magnificent Archibalds do for Christmas?" she straightened up again and looked at Nate. He was lost in some sort of thought. "Are you even listening?" She splashed him with her hand gently to get his attention. "What are you thinking about?"

He laughed, "You don't want to know," He pursed his lips together, then grabbed his own wine glass to finish.

 _Liquid courage_. Mackenzie narrowed her eyes and gave him a small half smile. He turned toward her, his arm leaning on the edge of the hot tub behind him, moving his hand ever so slightly to slowly draw circles along her shoulder and collarbone.

"I do want to know," she responded, leaning in towards him, not close enough to touch his lips but enough to see the light in his eyes.

"All I can think about is untying the strings of your swimsuit," he started slowly, quietly. His hand continued on her shoulder, moving closer inwards towards her neck and chest, leaving surges of electricity across her skin. She leaned in and kissed him, his hand moving towards her neck, pulling her closer towards him. The water moved with them, splashing up towards the side.

Mackenzie shut her eyes as he kissed her, blood pulsing through every inch of her body. His hands moved along her back, and she used her own to find his waist, in an effort to be as close to him in this body of water as possible.

Nate broke away, nibbling on her lips. She let out a soft moan, pulling away and leaning her head back. He took this opportunity to bite at her neck, sending his lips across her neck and the top of her chest. He made his way from one side to the next, sending tingles up and down Mackenzie's body.

He stopped his hands at her neck, slipping his fingers underneath the knot of her bikini top.

"What happened to your fast fingers?" she smirked at him, leaning in to kiss his neck just as he had been kissing hers.

"Well," he choked out, breathing heavy as her lips crossed his collarbone, "You seemed unhappy when I undid your bra without asking,"

She pulled herself back up and steadied herself at eye level with him, "I wasn't unhappy per se, just caught off guard," She bit her lip, hesitant for a moment. "Wait, can people see us out here?" She looked up behind them, a small juliet balcony above them suddenly in her eye line. She looked further across the street, to another building with facing balconies.

Nate's face fell, "Oh, yeah, I guess. I never really think about it, truthfully you're the first girl I've done this with in here, we can, uh-, stop." He contained his disappointment, suddenly worried he had made her feel uncomfortable.

"No," she said quietly, meeting his eyes, a mischievous smile crossing her face, "I think I like the whole idea that..we could get caught or watched. It's uh, kind of thrilling."

Nate leaned in close to her, matching the smile on her face, "Mackenzie Humphrey, you're full of surprises." His excitement returned, moving his hands from behind her neck, quickly pulling the strings holding her suit together in the middle of her back. She kissed at his neck, up to his earlobe. She let out a small, nervous giggle into his ear as he released the strings behind her neck, pulling away her top and letting it float away in the body of water.

* * *

The water falling from the shower head above Mackenzie felt like a refreshing rain. She smiled to herself, feeling incredibly content in the moment. She ran her hands along her body as the water fell, touching just where Nate's hand has been moments ago.

_Mackenzie reached her arms out to her side, grasping onto the sheets as Nate slowly laid kisses up and down her body. Their bodies still wet from the hot tub, footprints acting as evidence leading from one end of the terrace into his bedroom._

" _Nate," she brought his attention upwards, a smile on his face. He crawled up towards her, positioning himself over top, propped up with one forearm as the other explored. Her breath was heavy as he touched her, all of her, his hand playing a symphony between her legs._

" _Fast fingers," he whispered into her ear, moving to continue kissing along her neck and chest, pausing to bite her nipple._

_She bucked her hips as he touched her, circling over her most sensitive spot._

" _Fuck," she barely whispered out to him, "Nate?" Her voice inflected, causing him to pause his actions._

" _What's the opposite of slow and steady?" she asked him, her breathing increasing, "Because I want that. You. All of you. Please."_

She turned off the water of the shower and sighed. If she was going to have trouble walking tomorrow, it was probably not because of her leg pain from earlier today but from the aggression she requested from Nate while wrapped up in his bed sheets..

She changed into a pair of black leggings and an over sized charcoal t-shirt she had tucked into her bag earlier. As she walked towards the living room again, she caught Nate just as he was hanging up the phone. He was dressed in a pair of plaid pajama pants and a t-shirt.

"I ordered a pizza," he reported to her, as she dropped onto the couch beside him, "Since I had invited you over for dinner and all."

"I guess we had to work up an appetite first," she responded to him, leaning into his chest and closing her eyes. "This isn't it, right?" Her voice came out like a whisper.

"What? What do you mean?" Nate pulled her closer, looking down towards her. She shrugged, uncertain about how to word her concern to him. She wanted the night to go on forever, just the two of them. But the real world was out there, and now here she was, sitting with Nate on the couch after having sex, and maybe that would conclude things for him.

"Like, you're still going to call me in the morning and want to continue doing this?"

"First of all, I don't need to call you in the morning because you're staying over, I hope." He started, tracing his fingers up and down her arm. "Second of all, I want to keep doing  _that_  again and again because you seem pretty feisty and up for a few fun ideas I have brewing." She turned and smiled up at him.

"Nate," she swatted his chest gently, "I'm serious."

"So am I, Mack," he said, earnestly. She met his eyes, he was genuinely expressing himself. "I will call up your brother right now and tell him we're dating, if that would make you feel better."

She smiled, but waved her hand in protest, "No, not yet. But thank you for your reassurance. I just want to live right here in this moment." She fell back into him, her arms wrapping around his waist and back. She closed her eyes and breathed him in.

Nate leaned down and kissed her forehead, then brushed her hair out of her face as she rested on his chest.  _I could get used to this._

* * *

xoxoxo

_Stay tuned readers: Mackenzie interviews with a certain Australian and Mr. Chuck bass for her internship. Plus, can her and Nate manage to keep things under wraps? Oh, things are about to get fun..._


	9. Chapter 9

"It's going to be fine, just call. I'll even hit the button for you," Nate was sitting across from Mackenzie in his office at The Spectator. She was seated in his desk chair, her cellphone sitting in her hand.

"Are you sure I couldn't get away with a politely worded email?" Mackenzie bit her lip nervously, looking from Nate back to her phone.

"Mack," Nate leaned forward and reached across the desk and grabbed her free hand, "Just call. It'll be over before you know it. Trust me, Chuck will respect a phone call and a straightforward question more than an email."

Mackenzie sighed, then nodded. She knew he was right. They had spent most of the morning laying in bed together, snacking on cookies and leftover pizza. She lamented over her missed interview to him and they brainstormed where else she could intern at. She was grateful for his knowledge of the finance industry in New York - even going as far as explaining his dad's past and indiscretions. He considered it a learning experience in the long run, despite its effects on his family. It was Nate who had suggested Bass Industries as an opportunity, as one of the biggest international real estate agencies operating out of the city.

Nate grabbed her phone, hit the call button and left the phone face up on the desk, on speakerphone. Mackenzie's mouth dropped open, pulling her hand away from his. She leapt up from the chair.

"Nate!"

He leaned back in his chair and smirked at her, motioning for her to just sit down and listen to the rings.

"This is Chuck Bass," the voice on the other end spoke.

Mackenzie took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "Hi Chuck, this is...Mackenzie Humphrey."

There was a slight delay in his response, "Miss Humphrey, to what do I owe the pleasure on this late Saturday morning?"

"Sorry to bother you," she started, "I was just wondering if you would do me a favour, uhm, hmm, I'm looking for an internship. Well, I had an internship interview lined up but things didn't really pan out and-"

Chuck cut her off, "Mackenzie, you are rambling." She took a deep breath. "Bass Industries doesn't do interns."

"I know! I know. I just…" She glanced over at Nate, who was scribbling on a scrap of paper on the desk. He held it up to her,  _confidence is key._

She took a deep breath again and continued, "All I am asking for is an interview and opportunity. I'm not expecting a job after, I just want an experience."

"Well, I value your bold approach. Tell me what happened to your first opportunity."

She sighed, "I had a final round interview with Strone & Jasper -"

Nate leaned forward in his chair, mouth agape.

"Wow, impressive to even interview at Strone," Chuck responded, "Your brother said you had an aptitude for numbers?"

"Yes, I'm finishing off my Masters in Foreign Economics and I require a 24 hour a week internship starting in January."

"Tell you what, forward me your CV and I will get back to you."

"Thank you Chuck, I really appreciate it."

The minute Mackenzie hung up the phone, Nate jumped to his feet as she slumped back in the chair.

"See? That was painless," he smiled at her, walking to the opposite side of his desk.

"Sure, tell that to my racing heart," she replied to him, placing a hand over her chest. Nate grabbed the back of the chair and turned her to face him, then leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. She smiled as she pulled away from him, rolling the chair back and standing up.

"Can we talk about how you had an interview at Strone & Jasper? That's the top investment firm in the city," Nate pointed out, planting himself into the seat she just vacated.

Mackenzie laughed dryly as she rummaged around through her bag on the desk, pulling out her laptop. "It sounds so nice when you say I  _had_ an interview. I  _missed_  my interview. Did you know they get over 5000 applicants to their internship program? 5000. Shortlisted to 100, 50 get phone interviews then 20 get called in for their in person interview. That's 0.4% of a chance to even interview. And I missed it." She swore under her breath and took a seat in one of the chairs across from him.

"Mackenzie," Nate started, "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad about what happened. Honestly, if Bass Industries will take you in, that's an incredible place to learn, too."

She sighed, opening up her laptop and typing away for a few moments.

"If he likes my resume enough to let someone interview me," she paused, "Andddddd sent."

Nate stood up from the chair and walked towards the door, pausing to extend his hand for her to grab. "Come with me."

Mackenzie walked with him, as he guided her through the quiet office and into the elevator. Just before noon on a Saturday and the office was very quiet. Nate had told her most staff who work weekends work remotely, and especially on a holiday weekend, no one else was at the office. After their late night pizza and early morning cuddling in bed, they both traversed to The Spectator offices. Nate had work to catch up on, and Mackenzie needed some time to finish a research project.

As they rode the elevator up, Nate gently pushed her against the mirrored walls and kissed her, letting his tongue tackle hers. He ran his hands up and down her body, Mackenzie whimpering gently as he bit her lip. The elevator dinged as they reached the top floor, just one above Nate's newly acquired office floor

The door opened up to a mainly empty space with newly painted white walls and support beams, and an aged hardwood floor. He pulled himself away from Mackenzie and lead her into the space by hand again, pausing in the middle of the room.

"More real estate for The Spectator?" Mackenzie inquired, taking a look around the space.

"Someday, yes, probably," Nate followed her eyes as she looked around, "The space is mainly being rented out for events, currently. Which is why we're having The Spectator holiday party up here in a few weeks."

"Oh, that's so smart. It would look so cute with… hanging crystal snowflakes over those big windows. And frosted glass. And string lights between each beam.." She walked a few steps away from Nate.

"I want you to come to the party." Mackenzie turned around the look at Nate, hands in his pockets, looking nervous.

"Like, as your date?" she asked him, walking back to where he was standing.

"Technically. But I realize we're off the record with this still, so, like a secret date," his eyes were sparkling as he thought about being with her at the party.

She smiled at him and contained the overwhelming excitement taking over, "Okay. Sure. I always appreciate an opportunity to dress up." She looked up for a second, thinking about what she could wear. "Will anyone I know even be there? Aside from you."

"Serena and Dan RSVP'd. Likely Chuck and Blair, you can meet my cousin Tripp and his new girlfriend." Mackenzie nodded along, slightly comforted knowing at least her brother and Serena would be there for company.

"I will warn you of two things though," he said, taking a step towards her and grabbed her hands, "One: I have to schmooze a lot of staff and advertising partners at this thing, so we may not get a lot of face time." He released her hands then pulled her close, enveloping her in his arms. "Which brings me to my next point. Two: I was fitted for a custom suit jacket last week and I am going to look irresistible to you. And I'll have a burgundy tie, if you want to match."

"Are you sure they'll be enough room in here for all your guests and your ego, Mr. Editor in Chief?" She cut him off before he could quip back at her. "Shhh, just kiss me."

She felt her phone buzz in her pocket, causing her to pull away from Nate and his very distracting lips. A message from Chuck Bass: ' _10AM Monday morning, Miss Humphrey. You've earned yourself an interview.'_

* * *

As Mackenzie shook hands with two Finance managers at Bass Industries and followed them out of the board room, she felt immediate relief. She had spent the rest of her weekend pouring over any ounce of information she could find about Bass Industries. And she did it alone, holed up at the loft, much to Nate's disappointment.

Now, at 11AM Monday morning, the worst was behind her. The interview had gone well enough, and despite the company's policy on interns, it seemed they would make an exception. She wasn't sure if it was because she knew Chuck or if they were willing to take on a new staff member, but she was grateful regardless.

Just as she was walking towards the elevators, she was stopped by a woman with a tablet computer in hand.

"Miss Humphrey?"

"Yes?" she responded to the woman, curious to what she wanted.

"Mr. Bass would like to speak with you, if you have a moment," the woman motioned for her to follow, the short request sounding like more of a demand. Nate had repeatedly told Mackenzie to stop being intimidated by Chuck, but Mackenzie was nervous all over again, wondering why Chuck wanted to meet with her.

She tugged at the hem of her black skirt and adjusted her charcoal blouse, tucked in casually to her waistband. She had opted for a matte black heel, regrettably, but knew it tied together the business attire. The woman, who Mackenzie was now realizing was one of Chuck's assistants, motioned for her to sit outside his office, while she returned to her desk nearby.

She pulled out her phone while she waited and smiled when she saw a slew of messages from Nate, inquiring about how everything went.

She quickly typed out a message to ease his mind, ' _I think it went well! Chuck wants to meet with me now, for some reason. Should I be worried?'_

' _Yes! I knew you'd be great. And no, I think that's a good sign - he doesn't give his time away to just anyone.'_

' _Thank you for the encouragement! Come over tonight?'_

"Mackenzie, come on in," Chuck's voice brought Mackenzie back to the present, tearing her eyes away from her phone. She shoved her phone back into her bag and stood up, flattening out her skirt as she followed Chuck into his office.

His office was just like she imagined it might be: deep mahogany wood designs, a wall of bookcases, large windows showing off a view of Manhattan and beyond. Mackenzie noticed someone else sitting in his office too. She sat in the chair beside him, turning to recognize who it was.

"Mr. Watson," she smiled at him, placing her bag on the floor beside her.

"Oh, no, love. Just Mitch. Or Oz, if you wish. It's nice to see you again," the Australian smiled at her, his peppery blonde hair shining in the sunlight.

Mackenzie felt the heat in her face rise as she turned from him towards Chuck, who was now seated in his leather chair across from them. She felt her breath pick up as she nervously played with the ring on her finger.

"Mackenzie, we wanted to talk about something Oz noticed on your resume," Chuck started, picking up a piece of paper off his desk. She noticed his eyes scan it, then hand it off to Mitch. Was it normal for a CEO and CFO to analyze the resume of a job applicant?

She just nodded as they talked.

"Tell me about your time working for…" Mitch paused to look down at the paper before turning towards her, "Buckridge Construction."

Mackenzie took a deep breath, trying to recall her time in Australia. She wasn't sure what they needed to know or why it hadn't been asked in her initial interview.

"Uhm," she started.  _Confidence is key._  "I lived in Sydney, then like an idiot followed some guy up to live in Brisbane," she paused for a moment, stopping herself from continuing, "Not that my tumultuous love life matters to your question... I was super broke so I took a job as an accounting clerk at Buckridge. My god, their books were atrocious. Like, tons of work and cash flow but their filing system was terrible. I spent most of my time there developing a content management system, focusing mainly on ensuring audits were done properly before being entered into the accounting program."

Mitch smiled at her, placing the paper down on the desk, "See, that's what I need. Attention to detail." He turned to Chuck, who just nodded in approval. "Buckridge is actually a division of Bass Australia. They implemented whatever system you developed across three or four offices and cleaned up efficiency. We don't need that here in the North American system but I do need someone with a keen eye to help with our audits. You up for the challenge?"

Mackenzie's mouth dropped open for a moment, she looked from Mitch back to Chuck.

"Does that mean.." she started, a bit confused by the question.

"We'll take you on for your internship, Miss Humphrey. But I don't do unpaid labour. So you'll be on the books as a staff member and paid accordingly for your time. And we'll sign off on your required hours," Chuck smiled at her ever so slightly, leaning forward and folding his hands together on his desk. "Now, Oz, if you'll give me a moment alone with her." Chuck nodded toward the door.

"See you in the new year, love. Welcome to the team," Mitch stood up and patted her on the back gently, before grabbing a folder off the desk and walking out the office door, shutting it behind him.

"Mackenzie, I'd like to take you for lunch."

* * *

"So, how was your lunch date with Chuck?" Nate had just arrived at the loft. It was nearly 8PM now, having finally escaped from his last investors meeting and deciding to close his laptop for the rest of the night. He was easily swayed to visit Mackenzie out in Brooklyn after a long day, with her promising to order in dinner for them.

Not that he needed much convincing, as she was all he could think about lately. Despite spending Friday night and most of Saturday together, all his free thoughts went to her. All of her. He wanted to be with her all the time and blame it on his hormones or the excitement of someone new, he felt their compatibility in the bedroom already was more than he could have dreamed. Yes, she was brilliant and funny and compassionate and interesting, but she was also quiet and firey, passionate and explorative. He wanted to start every morning beside her in bed. Smitten.

Mackenzie was at the far side of the kitchen island, standing in front of her laptop working away on a spreadsheet. She was still wearing her full face of makeup from the interview, hair down and straight, but was wearing only a crewneck sweatshirt and a pair of tight black shorts. She rolled her eyes and smiled at Nate's question, meeting his eyes as he sat down on the other side of the island, loosening his tie with his hand.

"It was strange. Like a cross between an interview and a first date?" she replied to Nate finally, taking a break from her laptop, lowering the screen. "Some hard hitting get-to-know-you type questions. The whole thing ended with him asking me to work on a project for him in January."

"Wow, already? And you were worried that they wouldn't even want you there. What's the project?"

"That's the thing, I'm not really sure yet. It's confidential, like, just between Chuck and myself." Mackenzie shrugged, uncertain about what else to say. Chuck had asked her to keep it private, and she already felt like she was breaking his trust mentioning it to Nate. Even though she still wasn't sure what Chuck wanted – he vaguely mentioned tracking accounts as money went in and out but didn't necessarily say why or what she would need to watch for. "So, dinner – I was thinking maybe salads from Sweet Green? Or sushi?" She glanced over at Nate, who's face had gone from excited to concerned. She watched as he opened his mouth to say something, then stopped himself. "What?"

"I'm still stuck on the idea of you working on a secret project for Chuck," He hated to worry and think the worst, but he knew Chuck well enough that business wasn't always straight and narrow. "I don't want you getting mixed up in something… unsavory or illegal." He chose his words gently, being careful not to place any seeds of doubt in her mind.

"Illegal? Isn't Chuck one of your closest friends? Should I really be concerned that this gesture was something bad? He mentioned one confidential project and you immediately jumped to illegal?" she replied to him, defensively crossing her arms. Her breath picked up as she watched Nate's face.

"If this was any other firm I was interning at, would you have the same thought process?"

Mackenzie walked away from the kitchen island, slowly pacing around the rest of the apartment. Nate's eyes followed her, his mouth searching for supportive words to calm her down about the situation. He never intended to cause her concern but here he was, eating his words. He stood up and stopped her in the middle of the room, putting his hands on her shoulders. He took her in for, noticing her bunched up wool socks at her ankles, her exposed legs, small black shorts, oversized comfortable sweatshirt, long brown hair, worried eyes.

"Mack, I didn't mean to fill your head with worry. I trust Chuck and you should too, and I doubt he'd put you in any situation that was dangerous or should be of concern. I guess I just jumped to a worst case scenario - especially after what my dad did and went through, I just...don't want to see something happen to you." He moved his hands from her shoulders, down her arms to her hands. He squeezed them in his, then put his hands on her waist.

"Nate, I'm a smart girl. I don't think I would put myself into a dangerous situation, and if something goes wrong or seems off with this internship, I am confident I can recognize it and remove myself from the situation," she was stiff in her response, letting out a sigh.

"I'm sorry, honestly."

"I know," she paused, then her mouth finally broke into a small smile, "I have to admit that this whole routine where you seem to really worry about my wellbeing is very comforting. I'm a bit of a lone wolf sometimes, I'm not used to having extra people around looking out for me or my best interests. This is so dramatic but it's been a while since anyone really cared about me like this."

Nate smiled back at her, taking a step to remove any space between their bodies.

"I care about you, a lot," he said quietly, his hands moving from her waist, crawling to her lower back underneath her sweatshirt. "And I want to  _take care of you._  Like, right now. I have to admit that this half comfortable, half made up look you have going is very sexy."

"Really? My wool socks and sweatshirt are doing it for you?"

"It's mainly your ass in those tight black shorts," he smirked at her, moving his hands further up her back. "And lack of bra, apparently." He leaned in and kissed her, her arms moving along his back and up to his hair. She let her hands brush through it, gently tugging as he moved his lips and tongue.

"Naaaaate," she said breathlessly, drawing his name out. His hands were moving up and down her back as he kissed her, moving his mouth to her neck, her earlobe, down to her collarbone.

"Maaaack," he mimicked her tone, breaking his lips away from her momentarily. He smirked at her, their faces inches away from each other, both waiting for the other side to give in. He continued to let his hands wander underneath her sweatshirt, sliding them down across her ass, sinking his hands into it. He watched her bite her lip, trying to contain whatever excitement was brewing in her.

"Dinner? A-are you hungry?" she finally asked him, as his hands gripped her ass, firmly. He just continued to smile at her, moving his hands beneath the waistband of her shorts now. His hands brushed against the supple skin of her backside, as he very slowly started to pull her shorts down. Mackenzie pushed herself into him, her lips sliding over his aggressively.

"I am hungry," Nate finally responded to her, escaping her lips and slowly walking her back to the couch. He gently pushed her onto the piece of furniture, letting his jacket slide off his arms and working at loosening his tie to pull it off. Mackenzie watched him in awe from her horizontal position on the couch, her shorts pulled slightly down her thighs.

"Please let me take care of you," Nate repeated his earlier sentiments, positioning himself between her legs at the end of the couch. His hands slowly brushed up and down her legs, tracing circles around the soft skin of her lower thighs, near her scrunched up shorts. He glanced up at her as he started to pull them off even further, watching her bite her lips and nod as she met his eyes.

Her euphoria and his actions were interrupted by Mackenzie's cell phone ringing on the table beside them.

"Shit," she broke away from her eye contact with Nate to glace at her buzzing phone. "Its Dan."

"I was supposed to call him earlier to let him know how the interview went," she lamented, throwing her head back and reaching to stop the phone from buzzing. Nate sat up, moving his hands away from her thighs.

Nate looked at her half naked on the couch, exposed entirely to him, then up to the phone in her hand.

"I think you should take it," he said slowly, leaning back down and moving towards the very middle of her inner legs.

"Nate, you're not serious," she responded, her face turning bright red as his head hovered above her waistline.

He nodded slowly, his eyes darting to the phone, "Answer it." He was stern in his request. Mackenzie knew she didn't have to, but there was something about his determined tone and his adventurous attitude when it came to sex, that she complied.

"Dan, hi," she brought the phone up to her ear, feeling Nate's hands over her thighs. She spread her legs out as he moved his hands, feeling an incredible jolt of electricity as he found her wet and ready entrance, slipping his index finger inside her.

"Well, how did the interview go? I want to hear all about it."

Mackenzie paused to answer, suddenly unsure just how she was going to maintain her composure on this phone call while Nate and his  _fast fingers_  were behaving so wildly, moving in and out of her, circling all over  _her._

"Uhm, it went really well! They offered me the internship, after all. I'd go into more detail but analyzing my experience in finance and what I've been researching for school is pretty boring," she replied, reaching her hand down to grip Nate's shoulder, bracing herself as he continued.  _Nate Archibald, currently the exact opposite of boring._

"Aw Mack, that's great. I'm so glad it worked out for you," her brother continued, "I know you don't know Chuck really well, but I assure you you're going to learn a lot from working at Bass Industries."

"Yes, I'm really looking forward to the experience," she choked out, gasping audibly at the end of her sentence as she felt Nate's hot tongue across and inside her, reaching down to tangle her hands in his hair. She could hear him laughing quietly to himself as he used his hands and mouth to pleasure her.

"Are you okay?" Dan asked her, likely concerned about her gasp.

"Uhm, yeah, sorry. Just thought I saw something outside the window, you know how the loft can be, noises and unexpected, uh, things," she replied to him, trying to keep her breath at a steady, controlled pace.

"How is the loft, by the way? Dad constantly reminds me to make sure you're okay out there in Brooklyn.."

"The loft can be...full of surprises," she said slowly, her hips bucking upwards as Nate continued to move his tongue around, feeling her throbbing for more.

"Well, I can't wait to her more about the interview," Dan said to her, "But I'll let you go. You sound distracted."  _You have no idea._

"I'll fill you in this week, dinner with Dad Thursday, right?" Mackenzie squeezed her eyes shut tightly, her left hand gripping onto Nate's free hand, reaching up under her sweatshirt to pinch one of her nipples.

"Yeah, I'll see you then, g'night."

Mackenzie dropped her phone to the ground, her hand now free to grip onto the side of the couch, her breathing hitching even more as Nate worked quickly to bring her over the edge. She felt her legs shake and hips raise up and down with his actions, her orgasm moving through like a wave engulfing her. Nate's hands slowly returned to her thighs, drawing circles gently as he sat up, smirking at her when she finally opened her eyes, blinking rapidly. She took a few deep breaths, using her elbows to prop herself up slightly.

"I need two minutes to recover, then we're finishing this in the shower, Mr. Archibald, you handsome, skilled devil."

* * *

**xoxoxo**

_up next: dinner with Rufus, The Spectator holiday party, and Mackenzie is off to London to visit Jenny. Just how long until someone finds out about this secret relationship?_


	10. Chapter 10

"So, what I'm about to ask is not meant to sound judgemental, but who's tie is hanging behind the bathroom door?"

Mackenzie was washing up the dinner plates and was especially grateful she wasn't facing her brother when he asked that question. She took a deep breath and prayed her face wasn't red when she turned around, determining her answer. She grabbed the open bottle of wine off the kitchen island and returned to the table beside her brother and across from her father. She distributed the remaining deep red liquid across their glasses and opened her mouth to finally answer.

"Wait, it must be Nate's right?" Dan continued, taking a sip of his wine, "He crashed here during the storm last week, didn't he?"

Mackenzie nodded quickly, "Yes, I didn't even realize he left it here." She let her breath out quietly, grateful he answered his own question.

While Mackenzie was not ashamed or embarrassed by her interest and budding relationship with Nate, she was not ready to even cross that bridge with her brother and father. She wasn't sure she was ready herself to do anything about it. It was still only one week ago when they had been honest with their feelings, and while the excitement of a new relationship was thrilling in many ways, it was frightening, too.

What if Nate changed his mind? What if one day he woke up and realized the whole thing was not what he wanted? What if one of his exes came back into his life? What if he chose work over her instead? This was her biggest concern, although she wouldn't admit it. Already they were struggling to find the time for each other.

But despite all that, she fell asleep dreaming of Nate Archibald every night.

"Follow up question," Dan continued, "Who gave you that hickey?"

Mackenzie gasped at her brother, glancing rapidly from him to her dad. Rufus was looking down at his wine glass awkwardly, but stifling a laugh. She reached her hand up to her neck and touched the spot Dan was referring to. She thought she had covered it up well enough, but it turns out her makeup didn't do the correct job. She really just wanted to know why on earth her brother was so concerned about such a thing.

"I don't know if I want to hear the answer to that question," Rufus finally spit out, bringing his wine glass up to his lips.

Mackenzie rolled her eyes at the two men, desperately wanting to avoid answering. She glanced over at her brother, who had his hands folded over in front of him, waiting for her response.

"Not Nate, if that's what you are weirdly implying," she said slowly, holding his stare. A bold faced lie, of course. Nate had left various bruises and marks across her body after what started on the couch Monday night. And what followed in his office Wednesday evening.

"Oh, god, I was not implying that even a little bit," Dan responded, letting out a short laugh, "We went for drinks last night and he had lipstick evidence of some new girl all over his mouth." Mackenzie smiled to herself and took a sip of her wine, knowing full well the leftover pink lipstick had come from her.

"Listen, you don't have to tell me about whoever left that mark on your neck, in fact, I would rather not know. But I just don't want you hurt again by some casual rebound."

"Well, that's a big reach to assume whatever this is would just be a casual rebound," Mackenzie defended herself. "Please don't respond to that, I don't want to fight with you again."

"Again?" Rufus finally interjected, looking from his daughter to son quickly.

"We're fine," Dan quickly replied to his dad, giving his sister a stern look.

Mackenzie rolled her eyes at him, "Just Dan on his high horse, reminding me of my awful romantic choices of the past, but we're fine now." She gave Rufus a meek smile, and Dan shook his head at her.

"Listen, I think we can all admit that the Humphrey clan has made some heart felt and disappointing decisions in the past, but moving forward is what counts. Dan and Serena found their way, I think I've really met my life partner with Lisa." Rufus paused in the middle of his dad speech, and momentarily placed his hand over Mackenzie's. "I'm sure you'll find your match some day too, Mack."

Mackenzie smiled at her dad's gesture, doubting his sincerity. Deep down she loved her father, despite their past and big fall outs and fights, but sometimes she still wasn't sure he believed in her.

Rufus wrapped up their evening announcing he was coming back at the end of the month with Aftershock and wanted to throw a New Years Party at the loft before their show that night. Dan was incredibly excited to finally have plans to ring in the new year that relieved him of his social duties with whatever Serena had planned.

Mackenzie smiled at her father's news, but her mood sunk at the idea of the loft crawling with strangers for the night. She knew it was her dad's home, but she was suddenly feeling lost in her own safe place. She glanced down at her phone as her brother and dad talked, smiling to herself at a message and photo from Nate, a quick snap of him wrapped in a towel after a shower.

Nate Archibald was an incredible distraction in her life these days, and she was so grateful for it. She glanced at the photo again before sliding her phone away, comforted by knowing he was thinking about her. She couldn't wait to see him again.

* * *

It had been over a week since Mackenzie and Nate had seen each other. Nate had work meetings, committees, social commitments, sponsorship galas. Mackenzie was balancing school, her upcoming internship, getting ready for her Christmas trip. She did spend a few mornings at The Spectator office, occupying an empty office to study for a few hours, but Nate had no flexibility in his daily schedule to escape to visit her. She was understanding, but it was disappointing.

More specifically, every other night one of them seemed occupied and it was wearing on them both.

Mackenzie was starting to worry she had dreamed every moment she had spent with him.

Nate was starting to worry she would forget about him, or that he had scared her off.

It was already late Thursday afternoon, with the Spectator holiday party coming up quickly on Saturday night. Mackenzie and her mother left for London on the red eye Sunday, so they were running out of time to see each other before her trip. Now, not only had they  _not_  seen each other, he was worried he had upset her earlier in the week, too.

He had originally invited Mackenzie over that night, but had forgotten about a gala commitment with his mother. It was a disappointing phone call he had to make to Mackenzie earlier in the week, and he couldn't shake her sad voice over the phone. They had resided to a few text messages back and forth, but he was worried about the state of their relationship.  _Whatever this relationship is._

He tapped his pen on his desk, then stood up and closed the door. He paced around his office as he brought his phone up to his ear.

"Nate, hi," Mackenzie's voice answered on the other end.

"Hi," he responded quickly, a smile swept across his face. Just hearing her say his name put him at ease. "How did your orientation go this morning?"

Mackenzie laughed lightly, "It was incredibly boring. I'm glad it was only a half day thing, but wow, aside from health and safety slides, they basically talked exclusively about their sexual harassment policies. It just sounds like Bass Industries has gotten into some legal trouble before."

"Well, I have no comment on that but I will say it took a while for Chuck to really grow up and settle down with Blair."

"Excited for your gala tonight? Or whatever it is you had to ditch me for."

"Hey, I'm sorry," Nate sighed.

"No, that wasn't fair for me to say. I shouldn't make you feel bad, I know it's beyond your control, especially since your mother is chair of the Boys & Girls Club board. I just… hmm," Mackenzie paused, searching for her words, "Is it weird to say I'm craving being around you? God, that's desperate. Forget I said anything."

"Not desperate at all, that's how I'd describe it, too," Nate sighed. An idea crossed his mind as he paused in his pacing, taking a look out his window. "Wait, are you still at the library?"

"Yeah, just reading over some documentation for my two classes next semester. Why?"

"Come over."

"Like, to the office?"

"No, to my apartment."

"But you have that gala? Are you going home first?"

"No, but I won't be out too late. Just instead of going all the way to Brooklyn, hang out at my place. Stay over tonight. Please."

She sighed, but Nate could hear her smiling, "Okay, I think I can comply." She paused, "Although for full disclosure, there is 3-4 days a month where my uterus wants to fight me, and I'm on day three. So, if that changes your mind I can just go home to the loft."

"Mack," Nate started, shaking his head, "Of course that doesn't change my mind. As much as I have enjoyed our...escapades so far, that's not why I want to see you. That's like an added bonus, but I'm not some animal."

"I don't know, you do this growl thing sometimes, which is a huge turn on, by the way."

He laughed at her, "Stop. Just… whenever you leave the library, head to my place. It'll be a nice motivator to get through this event tonight."

Nate hung up the phone a few moments later, a smile still glued to his face. He had been feeling pretty stressed out, mainly due to the launch of the new mobile site for The Spectator but was looking forward to falling asleep beside Mackenzie that night. He reopened his office door and headed down the hall, stopping at the end to pop his head into Leo's office.

"What's up, boss?" Leo asked, breaking his eyes away from his screen and leaning back in his chair. Nate smiled at his protégé, proud of what was becoming of Leo. He had started off as an intern a few years ago but proved his worth and took over office management a few months ago. It was a lot to juggle, but he seemed to be managing so far.

"How do you feel about me working from home tomorrow?"

"Am I allowed to have an opinion on such a thing?" Leo smirked, tucking a pen behind his ear then sitting up straight in his chair.

"I don't want you to feel stranded the day before the holiday party," Nate defended his ask, crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame.

"Nate, you and I both know Marie is going to be upstairs all day tomorrow bossing around the rental company. And she'll be here early Saturday to boss around the caterers, too."

"Okay, well, if you need me tomorrow, don't hesitate to call."

"Do you ever take a day off?" He heard Leo yell back at him as he headed back to his office. He glanced down at his watch, he had to meet his mother for drinks in a few hours. He dropped himself down at his desk and tried to focus for the rest of the afternoon, his mind constantly wandering to Mackenzie greeting him at his apartment later that night.

Mackenzie left the library shortly after six, tightly wrapping herself up in her navy peacoat as she ventured down the West Side to Nate's place. The cool wind of November had replaced itself with an upcoming winter chill, and December was bound to bring plenty of snow next.

She stopped a few times on her way to his place, possibly delaying the step of being in Nate's apartment by herself. There was something exciting yet nerve-wracking at the prospect of wandering through his home, exploring all the places and thinking about how he spent his time there himself. She grabbed a salad for dinner, plus a few macarons and a pint of gelato.

She finally approached his building and walking through the doors as they swept open for her. She stopped at the doorman's counter like before.

"Uhm, Mackenzie Humphrey for Mr. Archibald," she stammered out, pursing her lips as she waited for his response. He smiled at her for a moment, then typed into his computer screen. He reached into a drawer below his waist level and pulled out a keycard.

"Mr. Archibald requested this be left for you," he responded to her. She reached out and grabbed the card, suddenly flush at the small gesture.  _Did he just give me a key to his home?_

"Just swipe at the door handle for entry, Miss Humphrey. Have a nice night."

She thanked him, then continued over to the elevators, letting out a breath as she soared up to the fourteenth floor.

She had a quiet night alone Nate's apartment, quickly changing into a pair of leggings she had left in his room and lounged in his living room. She sent him a picture as she was cuddled up on his couch, purposefully showing off the powder blue satin bra. As much as she enjoyed teasing him, she wanted to be curled up beside him instead.

Her relaxing night came to a halt when she received a curt message from her father. They hadn't talked much at all since dinner, despite him crashing in Dan's old room at the loft. He had left early the next morning, leaving a written note to Mackenzie to enjoy her trip and give Jenny a hug for him.

But now, over a week later, apparently Rufus had found the courage to express his feelings to his daughter regarding the discussion that had transpired over dinner.

' _Mackenzie, I just want it to be clear that my letting you live at the loft rent free while you finish at Columbia is considered a privilege and I don't want to see you treating our home like a hub for dates from random men. I know you're dealing with a lot, but believe me there are better ways to work through your trauma.'_

She felt her anger rise as she read the message over and over, knowing she shouldn't respond to him at all. What she should do is call her brother and tell him about it and ask him for advice on how to respond. She anxiously started to rub her hands together, and gasped when she realized the purple ring on her finger was gone. She started to breathe a bit heavier, throwing down her phone as she jumped off the couch, searching all over to see if her ring was nearby.

As she paced around the apartment, her eyes darted around trying to search for the ring. It wasn't that the ring was expensive, it was just a fake deep purple amethyst on a silver band, but it was a sense of security for her.

She felt her heart start beating faster and faster, as if it may thump right out of her chest. She knew what was happening, and she continued to pace around the apartment, doing her best to avoid the panic attack hitting her with full force. Her whole body started to tremble as she stumbled her way into the small bathroom across from the office room.

"Fuck." The words left her mouth as she grasped onto the bathroom counter, her body heaving with her deep breaths.  _Call Nate, you idiot. Just talk to him. Tell him what's going on. Or don't. I'm sure he wouldn't want the interruption to his evening._

She ran her hands through her hair quickly then slowly peeled her clothes off, climbing into the shower. As the cold water hit her skin, she crouched down and sobbed, breathing in the cool air.

She had no idea how long she sat in the shower, but when she finally turned the water off, she was able to breathe clearly again. She was exhausted. It had been weeks since she had a full blown attack, she had forgotten how it took every ounce of energy out of her. She pulled a towel out of the small cabinet and slowly dried herself off. She stared at herself in the mirror and sighed. Leftover makeup cascaded down her face, and her eyes were swollen from crying.

After getting redressed, Mackenzie shut all the lights off in the apartment, save from the hallway light, and crawled in Nate's king size bed. She glanced down at her phone and saw a few missed messages from him, the last from 20 minutes ago telling her he was heading home. She did not a few misspellings in his messages and sighed, suddenly grateful he may come home happy and tipsy. A nice distraction from telling him about her panic attack.

She turned on the lamps on either side of the bed, and turned on the flatscreen tv across the room, finding a rerun of  _Friends_  to let her mind try to relax. She glanced down at her phone, tempting herself to reread the message from her father, but she just placed it down on the bedside table.

A few minutes later, she heard some noise coming from down the hall.

"Maaaaack," she could hear Nate's voice echo. She listened as he dropped his keys, kicked off his shoes and tucked his coat away in the closet. He appeared in the doorway next, his bright smile cause Mackenzie's heart to flutter.

He slowly walked over towards the bed, loosening his tie and crawling up to her as she sat leaning against the headboard. He leaned down and kissed her lips. "You're in my bed."

She smiled lightly, licking her lips as he moved away, the faint taste of some sort of cocktail lingering in her mouth. "I am in your bed. I was here last weekend, too, wasn't I?"

"I know," he shuffled slightly, stretching his legs out and sitting in the same position beside her, motioning for her to snuggle up into his chest. He kissed the top of her head. "I just...like that you're here."

She didn't respond, relaxing as she leaned into him further.

"What's wrong?" he asked her quietly, stroking her arm up and down. He could tell she had been crying. He was worried something must be off when she stopped replying to his messages about an hour ago. She felt cold under his arms, too. He was surprised to find her in a nearly pitch black apartment.

"Nothing," she replied in a whisper. She paused for a moment to contemplate, then continued. "I don't want to talk about it." She waited to see if he would press, but Nate just continued to hold her close to him. She appreciated his warm body against hers. "How was the gala?"

He sighed but laughed dryly, "It was fine. My parents are a bit complicated, they're trying to work things out again. It's like they're dating each other right now. Which is weird enough, but the worst part is my mom is constantly trying to set me up with different socialite women."

Mackenzie's breath halted at the idea of his mother courting Nate with beautiful girls from well off families. "Oh."

"Hey," he squeezed her gently, "I'll have you know I told her I just started seeing someone new."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I think I really like her."

"Tell me about her." Mackenzie's mood lifted slightly at their jovial discussion. She pulled away from him and shifted to face him directly.

"Well, she's got an incredible body," he started. She promptly swatted at him, her cheeks turning red. "But, more importantly she's so, so smart. A bit stubborn and sassy, but I really like that about her. I don't know, it's really new, but I just feel like she understands me, on some level I can't quite describe. I really want to call her my girlfriend and tell  _everyone_  about her, but I don't want to scare her off."

Mackenzie squeezed her eyes shut and pulled her mouth in, trying to find a way to respond to him. She sighed and opened her mouth to reply, but hesitated and bit her lip.

"I really wish she would just...talk to me about everything."

"Nate, I just need time," she finally said, her voice a low whisper.

"I know, I know," he soothed back, pulling her in again as he laid down flat. "I'll wait as long as it takes for this girl."

* * *

Mackenzie and Nate spent all day Friday together at his apartment. He did have to do some work related things, but he went out early in the morning to get them lattes and fresh croissants from a bakery a few blocks away.

Most of their time they just sat with each other, sometimes in complete silence, each independently working on their computers.

Nate slowly prodded her about her tear stricken face the night before and Mackenzie evaded his questions, assuring him she would tell him eventually but she was just going to deal with it as best as she could. She did reveal she had lost her ring somewhere, and despite a thorough search of the apartment, it was nowhere to be found. Nate called down to his doorman to keep his eyes out, too, but Mackenzie was certain it was lost forever.

They spent some time of their day very close, but things didn't escalate further than making out.

She left his place late in the day, needing to finally head home and pack before her Sunday night flight. She and her mom flew out late in the evening, but she knew if she didn't pack now, Sunday would come too quickly.

She found it difficult to tear away from Nate when she kissed him goodbye, even though she knew she would see him Saturday for The Spectator holiday party. She just longed to be around him. And waking up beside him in bed made her  _truly long_ for him even more.

She had made the decision to ignore her father's message and not let his opinions bother her for the rest of the weekend. Or over her holiday. It was still floating around in her mind - the hypocrisy of his message making her the most frustrated. He never would have sent that message to Dan or Jenny, at least not using any of those terms. The worst part was he hardly checked in with her anyway - he seemed to talk to Dan more than her, of course, so he just collected information that way. Was it so hard for him to work on their relationship?

Serena had arranged a full day of pampering for them on Saturday to get party ready. Apparently this was a common occurrence during the holidays, and Serena insisted she treat her to a manicure, pedicure, and a blow out with her favourite stylist before they got ready for the party together at the loft.

Both Dan and Eric joined them at the loft before the event too, indulging in a bottle of champagne with the girls as they finished getting ready.

Mackenzie glanced in the mirror at her makeshift desk vanity as she finished applying her lipstick. Her hair had been curled and loosened into long luscious waves, with a simply braid wrapping across the front to keep her face clear. She stood up and looked over her final choice outfit in the skinny mirror leaning against her wall.

She had shopped all week for the perfect dress for the occasion, in a stunning burgundy tone to hopefully match Nate as he had previously mentioned. She chose a basic halter style dress, with a deep sheer triangle cut out that dipped down between her chest, finished off with a belt with a bow that sat right above her dress cut just above her knees and she finished off the look with a basic pair of black Jimmy Choos from Serena's closet.

She met the rest of the group in the kitchen and sipped on her glass of champagne.

"Wow, Mackenzie, you look like you're ready to hunt tonight," Eric commented, raising his glass to her. She laughed in response to him, shaking her head slightly.

"I just like to dress up," she replied coyly.

Dan looked over at her and sighed, "Sometimes I just remember you as my little sister, wearing overalls and singing out Bob Dylan on our old balcony. Then, here you are…"

"A grown up woman?" she rolled her eyes at her brother, but a small smile crept across her face.

One short car ride later, they were walking into the party, which was already in full swing. The previously empty space was dressed to the nines in winter decor - beautiful sparkling lights were strung across the ceiling, shining in cool whites and bright blues. An over the top Christmas tree was illuminated in one corner, two different bars were placed across the room. Tall tables with sequined tablecloths were sprinkled around the room, with wait staff carrying trays of appetizers and sweet treats for all the guests. A DJ was in the middle of a long dance floor area, stretching across the space in front of the large windows. It was a remarkable venue filled with smiling party goers.

Mackenzie messaged Nate as they walked in, informing him of their arrival. She was excited to see him in full on boss mode, handsome and smooth talking all his business partners. She had accepted the fact she wouldn't get to see much of him for the night, but she was hoping she could convince him to spend the night with her at the loft.

She and Eric headed toward the bar on one side of the room quickly, splitting away from Dan and Serena. Eric had filled Mackenzie in on his plan to at least flirt with someone new tonight, his love life and sex life lacking lately.

Mackenzie loved parties and dressing up, but at times of heightened anxiety, large rooms full of people made her uncomfortable. After she had admitted this to Eric, he assured her he would stay by her side and keep her hand occupied with a drink whenever she needed it. They each grabbed a drink at the bar, matching gin cocktails and landed at a high top table in the middle of the room.

"Oh, there's Nate," Eric pointed out, trying to wave him over to say hello. Mackenzie turned her head to see Nate standing talking to a petite blonde, wearing a short silver dress and tall crystalline heels. She felt her stomach drop watching him talk to her, a sudden intense feeling of dread washing through her. She took slow steady breaths as she sipped her drink, trying her best to pull her eyes away.  _This is his party, Mackenzie. He's going to talk to women. Don't overthink this._

"Do you know who that is he's talking to?" she asked Eric slowly, trying to act as casual as possible. Jealousy was an ugly colour on her, she knew she should stop reading into whatever this conversation was. She watched Nate casually, he had one hand in his pocket and a drink in his free hand, smiling as he talked with her. She gasped quietly when she watched the girl reach her arm out and grab his forearm, laughing at something he said and tilting her head. Flirting.

"Oh, that's Amelia. His last flavour of the week. Although she's been around for a few months. Serena said he broke things off with her, but maybe not.." Eric shrugged, glancing over at Mackenzie. She was gripping her glass tightly, eyes fixated on Nate and this girl. She finally sighed and looked away, feeling a bit confused and disappointed.

Her mind raced as she thought over her last few weeks with Nate. Sure, they had never officially stated they were exclusively seeing each other.  _We did talk about our feelings, it seemed pretty clear. But maybe it wasn't clear. He might still be seeing this girl. Maybe that's why he's been so busy and maybe-_

"Mackenzie, helloooooo."

Mackenzie's train of thought was derailed as Eric waved his hand in front of her face, trying to get her attention. He must have continued to talk while she got lost in the pandemonium of her mind.

"Sorry, I just kind of.." she trailed off, staring down. She brought her drink up to her mouth and finished it in one gulp.

"Oh my god," Eric started slowly, "You have a crush on Nate."

"What? That's absurd."

"Your mind is reeling right now trying to figure out what he and that girl are talking about," Eric stated, explaining the reasoning behind his statement. "Plus, you've been hanging out at The Spectator borrowing his empty office. You like him! I mean, I get it. Nate is so charming and my god, his body is-"

"Eric, I am not confirming or denying what you just figured out, but stop, he's coming this way."

Nate stopped at their table moments later, his ravishing smile lighting up the room. "Hey, I'm glad you guys are finally here."

Eric nodded his head, "Thanks for the invite, Nate. I hate to turn down a good holiday party." He sipped his drink and raised his eyebrows aggressively at Mackenzie as Nate turned his attention to her.

She did her best to ignore Eric's theatrics and smiled back at Nate, "This place looks great." She bit her lip as he smiled at her mischievously, quickly going over her outfit with his eyes. She felt her knees buckle slightly when she noticed his gaze, but quickly sobered up when she caught a glance at the blonde who was still lingering behind him.

" _You_  look great," he responded. More than anything Nate wanted to lean in and kiss her, then whisper inappropriate things into her ears, detailing just how he wanted to tear that dress off of her. He wanted to run his hands across her bare shoulders and down to her waist, and down even further.

"I'm going to get another drink, I'll grab one for you too, Mack," Eric quickly exclaimed, leaving them for a moment.

Mackenzie sighed as Eric left, then frowned slightly at Nate. She slid towards him, closing in the space between them slightly. "Should I be worried about that blonde girl who keeps staring at you?" She stopped herself from spewing out her nervous thoughts about their exclusivity, realizing this exact moment was not the time for that conversation.

"Oh, no. Well, I broke things off with her when a certain someone started taking over every thought in my mind, she wasn't entirely pleased," he replied smoothly to Mackenzie, very carefully placing his hand on the table so it overlapped hers slightly. He just wanted to touch her, in some way. "Why? You jealous, Humphrey?" He cocked his head at her, smirking.

She laughed at him quietly, "Uhm, honestly, kind of! I mean, we never really talked about if this was exclusive between us or-" She cut herself off, trying desperately to control her words as they spewed out. Nate cut her off.

"It is. At least, for me it is. You're the only one I want to see."

Eric returned to the table moments later, and Nate pulled his hand away from hers, taking a step back. He thanked them again for coming, then left to continue making his rounds at the party. Mackenzie watched as he walked away, then turned back to Eric who was looking at her with a telling smile.

Before Mackenzie could plead, Eric started to talk, "Don't worry, your secret little crush is safe with me." Mackenzie sighed but didn't feel entirely comforted by his statement. She didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea about her and Nate. Or know anything about them, at all, for that matter, until they could explain it in their own terms. She took Eric's arm and lead him away from the table, in search of Dan and Serena.

* * *

Mackenzie was surprised to find herself having an especially fun night. Something about the magic of the Christmas season, tied in with an open bar and good energy from Serena, Dan and the group made the whole evening entertaining throughout. The only downside was that she hadn't seen much of Nate at all. She would catch his eyes around the room every now and then, and it always warmed her heart to watch his face light up in those moments. She was torn between wanting to pull him close on the dance floor or push him against the wall in a dark corner.

As she checked the time, she had a sudden realization that in exactly 24 hours she would be en route to London for over a week and she would have to spend even more time away from Nate. Their lack of face to face moments throughout the night just reminded her how much she would miss him while she was away. It was equally romantic and sad to think about how she dreaded the upcoming time apart.

She grabbed her phone and messaged him, trying to produce a moment alone with him to at least talk and see if he would come to Brooklyn with her tonight: ' _Come find me, Mr. Archibald ;)'_

She escaped the group quickly, taking one last big gulp of her glass of sparkling wine and heading to the elevator. She went down one floor and carefully made her way through the empty offices, opening the door to the big corner office she had occupied while studying a few weeks ago. She hopped up to sit on the desk, staring out into the bright lights of the city in the dark office. She hoped Nate was actually checking his phone, or her extreme dash downstairs was all for none.

_You're crazy he's going to leave this huge staff and work party for you._

Mackenzie contemplated just going back upstairs, when she heard the door open. She turned her head slightly to see Nate walk in, closing the door behind him. He made his way to her and stopped just in front. He stepped closely inwards and she wrapped her legs around him as he leaned in to kiss her, deeply.

"I've been thinking of doing that all night," he said breathlessly, pulling his lips away from hers but staying as close as he could, his forehead pushed against hers. His hands moved down her back, onto her waist, then slowly stroked down her legs, gripping onto her thighs.

"I was going to give you shit for wearing heels when you've been in pain lately but damn, if they don't make your legs look incredible."

She smiled and bit at his lip, seeing just outlines of his face in the dark, "You're such a smooth talker. You can see why I've been feeling jealous of different women at this party all night."

"Fuck," he swore suddenly, "Why does knowing you've been feeling jealous turn me on?" She swatted his chest gently, rolling her eyes, but he gripped her legs tighter and pulled her closer to him. "Trust me, no one in that room could steal me away from you."

Mackenzie could feel the stiffness in his waistline as he pulled her in so tightly, "Please stay over at the loft with me tonight."

"Of course," he said quietly, his hands slowly moving up and down her legs, "Unfortunately I have to stay here for a few more hours though."

"I know," she pouted, then moved her head forward to kiss him. He kissed her back, his tongue quick to explore her mouth. She pulled away, "Do you have to go back upstairs this very moment though?"

She could see him shaking his head, leaning down to kiss her neck. His mouth felt like fire against her skin. Her breath started to pick up, but she stopped his actions and waited for his reply. "I'm sure no one even knows I left the room." He wasn't sure what she was getting at, but he knew he was more than ready to lean her over that desk and have his way with her.

"Good," she replied sternly, pushing him away gently. She stood up in front of him and kissed him again, her arms moving up and down his back, then towards his chest and landing on his belt. She felt his mouth turn to a smile as she kissed him, and he let out a soft moan as her hands brushed against the very front of his pants. She could feel all of him, hard and ready for anything. "Mack…"

"Shhhh, I have a very specific fantasy I want to fulfill," she whispered, keeping his attention. Her hands moved up to grab his waist and pivoted their positions, so Nate was leaned up against the desk. She kissed him again on the lips, then moved down his neck, before proceeding to drop down to her knees in front of him. A feeling of euphoria started to wave over Nate as she undid his belt and pulled down his boxers and pants in one swift gentle motion. The cool air suddenly rushed against his skin, but everything changed as her lips landed on his very sensitive tip.

Nate's mind went blank as she worked at him and he felt like time stopped altogether, her mouth, tongue and hands working together to bring him to the edge.

It had been a long time since a woman had ignited such extreme feelings in Nate and he let out a low growl as she took him entirely in her mouth. The only thing missing from this exact moment in time was better lighting to watch as she worked her magic. She swirled her tongue around and worked even harder as she felt Nate's hips pushing forward into her. He moaned out her name every few moments, cursing in between.

A slow, grunting chant of 'yes, yes, yesss' escaped his lips next, as Nate did his best to brace himself on the desk as she perfected her rhythm. His words echoed throughout the empty office, additional wet noises coming from below his waist as Mackenzie's jaw moved forward and back.

As he reached his climax, he moved his hands from the desk to grasp her hair, holding her in place as he finished intensely, spilling into her mouth. His body shook for a few moments after as she pulled away.

"Oh, fuck, Mack, I should have warned you and-"

She cut him off, still sitting on her knees below him in the dark, and quietly replied, "No, that's what I wanted." She paused, a rush of excitement flowing through her, proud of her accomplishment. "None of those women upstairs get to do that to you."

Nate inhaled deeply a few times, trying to bring down his heart rate and regain his composure. He reached down and pulled her up to meet him, kissing her deeply. "Fuck. Just how am I supposed to get through the rest of the night after that just happened?"

He could see Mackenzie shrugging as she smiled and leaned in for another kiss. She wasn't sure what had awoken in her over these past few weeks with Nate, but her willingness to be with Nate in every way possible was taking over all of her actions and common sense, especially after the multitude of cocktails.

She knew this couldn't last forever, and she was already dreading that  _something_ was about to derail this bubble of excitement, this enticing secret tryst. She just hoped that whatever it was would take it's time.

* * *

Sunday morning and most of Sunday afternoon following the party was spent in bed with Nate. Mainly without clothes on. They absorbed every moment they could with each other, limbs tangled in bed and stretched and challenged almost everywhere else in the apartment.

Mackenzie had to send him away late in the afternoon, much to her dismay.

"Dan, Serena and I are having dinner with my mom and Alex before we fly out. So I have to put my life back together here quickly, change and meet them uptown."

Nate pouted at her as he stood at the door, suit jacket swung over his shoulder. "I know."

She stepped into him, letting her arms rope around his waist. She leaned her head onto his chest and sighed. "Don't forget about me while I'm away, please."

"I don't think that's possible, Mackenzie." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Mackenzie Lilas Rose." He repeated her name slowly, quietly. She squeezed him even tigher.

"And I think this is a fair ask, but can you try not to fall in love with some handsome, fashionable English man?"

"No promises," she laughed.

"Hey," Nate replied quickly in a fake hurt voice. She pulled away from him and kissed him.

"I'll miss you."

"Me too," Nate sighed. He knew Christmas was a busy time and would fly by. And they could text or talk on the phone if they wanted to. "Hey, maybe when you get back, we can visit the whole girlfriend/boyfriend thing, for real."

Mackenzie gulped, but nodded, "I'd like that."

"Also, please don't get mad but.." he smiled at her, then bit his lip, nervous, "I went ahead and upgraded your seats to business class. You said your mom does terrible with air travel so I figured this may be more comfortable than squeezed into economy."

"Nate," she trailed off, not sure how to accept such a gesture. She was grateful, but nervous about the idea of him spending money on her.

"Just consider it a Christmas gift to you both, okay? Since you insisted I couldn't actually buy you anything."

She smiled at him again, and opened her lips.  _I love you._  She closed her lips quickly before such insane words left her mouth.  _Don't be an idiot, Mackenzie. You don't know what love is._

She kissed him one more time, but held herself close to him, doing her best to make a mental picture of this moment. She wasn't sure how she would survive the next ten days without Nate, but knowing she would be returning home to the possibility of calling him her boyfriend was motivator enough to enjoy herself and not panic about the future.

**xoxoxo**

_Next up: Christmas in London - Jenny and Mackenzie get deep, but someone also finds herself pages and pages and pages deep into the now archived Gossip Girl..._


	11. Chapter 11

Three days into their visit to London, a large floral arrangement arrived at Jenny's flat.

The youngest Humphrey was in her last year of school at Central St. Martin's and renting a converted townhouse near Holloway. Her roommate had traveled home for the Christmas holiday, so she had plenty of space to host her sister and mother. Jenny's boyfriend was also gone for the week, which gave her all the more reason to host her family. Mackenzie was bunking up with Jenny in her queen bed, while their mother Alison occupied her roommate's double bed down the hall.

The beautiful flowers arrived early in the morning a few days before Christmas. Mackenzie was in the shower when they were delivered, and when she finally stepped out of the bathroom to have breakfast with her mother and sister, Jenny was standing in the kitchen with her arms crossed, a curious look on her face.

"Uhm, Kenzie, who is sending you beautiful bouquets of flowers?" Jenny exclaimed, a small envelope in her hand. "I want you to know I was very tempted to open this on your behalf."

A smile slowly crawled across Mackenzie's face as she approached her sister and snatched the envelope from her hands. She walked past her and took in the large vase of flowers, overflowing with deep red and white roses, accented by luscious greenery and sparkling gold ribbons.

"Let me guess, they're from the same anonymous benefactor who upgraded our seats on the flight over, too," Alison chimed in from the living room, a cup of tea in her hands. She smiled over at Mackenzie and Jenny as they stood in awe of the florals.

"What? Kenzie, who is it?" Jenny ran over to her sister's side, trying to peer over her shoulder as she tore open the envelope.

"Hey," Mackenzie stopped her actions and turned towards her sister, "I'm not sure I want to tell you about him yet." She paused and glanced over at her mother. "Or you." She took a few steps away from Jenny and kept her body forward, defending herself as she opened the card without anyone else looking at it.

' _You've given me the best of you.  
_ _and now I need the rest of you'  
Merry Christmas, Mack_

_N_

She sighed then pulled the card against her chest, lost in the moment. She smiled as she pulled it out to reread it once more. Billy Joel lyrics. From that damn vinyl album he still had. A reference to the first day they met at the loft.

"Okay, who is making you smile like that?" Jenny threw her head back, an irritated smile on her face. "What are you not telling us?"

"Listen, I am fresh off a stupid breakup with a stupid man child," Mackenzie heard her mother snicker at her comment as she continued, "and the gentleman who upgraded our seats and sent these flowers shall remain anonymous until he and I figure this thing out."

Mackenzie stuck her tongue out as Jenny sighed and brushed her hands over the flowers. Mackenzie dropped onto the loveseat beside her mother and ran her hands through her damp hair.

"I'm sure he's lovely, Mack," Alison assured her daughter, placing a hand on her knee. "You know we just don't want to see you get hurt again."

"Do I have a fragile sticker on my forehead?" Mackenzie replied to her mother, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "I'm taking small steps here, okay? We've only been hanging out for a few weeks. I appreciate all the worry but there is something different about him. He exudes kindness. He has a real moral compass. He runs a business and he has an incredible place on the west side and he's thoughtful and…" She trailed off, looking up to see Jenny with her arms crossed again, a mischievous smile on her face.

* * *

It was mid afternoon on Christmas Eve. Mackenzie was sprawled out on the couch in Jenny's flat, grateful for the moment of calm.

Her mother and sister were out at the shops grabbing a few last minute things for the holiday dinner. It was just going to be the three of them, holed up together for the next day, making Christmas dinner and baking together.

The week had passed by quickly and Mackenzie was grateful for wifi and her international data plan to stay in touch with Nate. The five hour time difference didn't prove to be much of an issue until later in the evenings.

While she was thankful for her current alone time to ease her introverted soul, she had also made plans to call Nate while she was the only one home.

She dialed his number and waited eagerly for his voice to sound on the other end.

"Hey you." She melted at his words, closing her eyes and letting out a sigh.

"Hi," she responded quickly, "I hope I didn't wake you."

"Don't be silly, I've been up for a few hours. The Captain and I managed to get in a run in the park already. I mean, it was freezing but we made it."

"Wow, impressive, Archibald." She heard him laugh on the other end of her phone.

"So, what does your Christmas Eve look like?"

"Well, mom and Jen just went out to grab some last minute groceries. We'll prep some food today then go to a candle light mass downtown tonight, I think. Hopefully end the night with The Grinch, as per family tradition."

"The original cartoon version, I hope."

"Of course," she laughed in response. "What about you? How does the Archibald/Vanderbilt clan celebrate?"

"Well, for the first time in years we're heading to my uncle and aunt's house in Albany tomorrow. We'll be there most of the day. That's my dad's side - his twin sister and her family, and his older brother and his family. It's nice. Very relaxed. The type of night that ends in trivial pursuit and kettle corn."

"And your mom's side?"

"Big Boxing Day celebrations at the Vanderbilt estate in the Hampton's. Family hockey game. Lots of alcohol. The type of night that ends in some sort of dramatic fight and layers of spite."

"Wow, well, you've painted a very inviting picture."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for my family but sometimes I just want something small, intimate, calm."

"I get it. Half the reason I encouraged my mom to venture over here with me to visit Jen is to have something for just us. Drama free." They each paused. Mackenzie dreamed for a moment about Christmas morning with Nate, wrapped up under a blanket, mugs of coffee in their hands. A traditional Christmas tree in the corner, draped in red and gold, heirloom decorations hanging from the branches. Nate looking tired, scruff on his face, bed head, sparkling eyes. "I miss you."

She swore she could hear him smile through the phone. "I miss you, too. So, you're the only one at the apartment right now? For how long?"

"I don't know - maybe another 45 minutes? They were taking the tube into the city for some things."

"Oh. Well. Good timing for us then.  _So, what are you wearing?_ "

Mackenzie rolled her eyes and smiled at his cheesy line, "You're terrible, you know that?"

Nate laughed slightly but defended himself, "What? Can't blame a guy for trying. Here I am, just out of a shower, lying alone in my bed, missing the one person I want to be with. Dreaming about a romantic holiday morning with you instead. Thinking about you, on the other side of the world, very alone, missing me too." He paused, waiting for her response. "Mack?"

She hesitated but gave into his sensual words, "I'm wearing those black shorts you like and a big oversized T-shirt. If I'm being honest it's nearly 2 in the afternoon and I slept in these clothes."

"You sound comfortable."

"I am comfortable.  _Very comfortable._ Alone. On this couch. Legs stretched out."

She heard Nate exhale, "I wish you were here with me, Mack. This bed is very lonely. Here I am, sparkling clean from the shower, undressed, dying for your hands or mouth or..tongue.."

She smiled at his words, her breath picking up at the thought of him laying at home in bed, naked, "Tell me more."

"You really want to-"

"Nate," her voice lowered, excitement washing over her, "I want you to tell me exactly what to do. Right now. Please. You started this so let's help each other...finish."

* * *

Christmas Day came and went so quickly. The Humphrey sisters and their mother enjoyed a beautiful morning together, followed by a walk around the neighbourhood as the snow fell, rounded off with a feast, full of delicious homemade food. They ended the night with card games and each woman fell asleep with a smile on their face.

They spent most of Boxing Day in London, shopping in small boutiques. Jenny directed her sister and mother throughout her favourite shops and cafes before retiring back to her flat. Alison and Mackenzie flew out the next morning so they had to pack all their things again.

Alison hid away as she repacked her luggage and took a video call with Alex.

Jenny lounged on her bed as Mackenzie packed, a bottle of wine and glasses sitting on her bedside table for them to enjoy.

"You haven't mentioned Dad much this trip, Mack," Jenny commented slowly, taking a sip of wine as she watched her sister meticulously tuck things away in her suitcase.

Mackenzie shrugged. "Dad and I are fine. He's just different with me, you know. He has this strange standard he holds me to and it causes us to butt heads. We're fine." _I mean sure, I haven't talked to him since his last critical message and a generic Merry Christmas text. But whatever._

Jenny pulled at a strand of her blonde hair, "Okay, I can accept that. Enough about dad. We are running out of time. You _have_  to tell me more about your mystery man."

"I don't  _have_  to do anything, actually," Mackenzie responded, laughing at her sister. She pulled down the top of her bag and dragged the zipper across, transferring it to the floor.

"I think I know who it is," Jenny continued, handing the other glass of wine to her sister and she joined her sitting on the bed. Mackenzie took a sip as she balanced the glass in one hand and ran her other through her hair, pushing it off to one side.

She lowered her eyes and read Jenny's face, "You're bluffing."

"I am not! And that reply tells me exactly what I need to know."

"Okay, Sherlock." Mackenzie tilted her wine glass further back, filling her mouth and swallowing. She could feel her heartbeat rising as Jenny looked at her with inquisitive eyes. Maybe she did figure it out.

_Okay, Mackenzie, so what? Are you ashamed or embarrassed of dating Nate? No, of course not. It's just that if people know, it's real. And real means their feelings are involved and she could get hurt again. What if he changed his mind? What if he found someone better?_

"Can I at least present my argument before you deliberately try to lie to me when I'm right?"

"Augh, fine, but I'm way too sober for this - do you have anything stronger?"

The sisters moved to the kitchen to finish their discussion. Jenny pulled out a bottle of gin and quickly mixed them each a cocktail. Mackenzie sat on the single stool at her small island while Jenny stood across from her as she spoke.

"So, mystery man. Let's see. You described him as exceptionally kind, good moral compass." Jenny counted the traits off on her fingers as Mackenzie watched. "Lives on the West side. Owns his own business which must be doing well, or he just comes from money, or both, since he upgraded your flights last minute." Jenny paused. "And five minutes ago when I told you I figured it out, you didn't even jump at my claim or argue that it was impossible, that there's no way I know him. Your face just got nervous. Which means I  _do_  know him."

Mackenzie let out a heavy sigh at the end of her sister's speech.

"You are dating Nate Archibald."

Mackenzie looked her sister in the eyes and finished off her cocktail, resting the empty glass on the counter in front of her.  _Damnit._

"Okay, yes, you figured it out. But I don't know if we are officially dating or -"

Jenny let out a short excited scream and threw her fist in the air, "I knew I saw his name on your phone multiple times this week. Oh my god Kenzie! How are you keeping this a secret? Isn't he just such a good kisser? Assuming you've kissed. Of course you've kissed. Wait have you had sex? Please tell me you-"

"What did you just say?" Mackenzie cut off her sister, lost in the flurry of questions. " _Isn't he such a good kisser?_ You've kissed Nate?" Mackenzie felt her stomach drop, and a heat rising in her chest.

Jenny quickly calmed down, "Uhm, it was nothing. Just like this very minor thing in high school. I told you I had a crush on him - he was living at the loft and it just...happened. But that was so long ago, Kenz. Please don't let that bother you."

Mackenzie pursed her lips, her brain reeling. She and Nate hadn't talked very thoroughly about their past relationships. She had some knowledge from his side of things. He had dated both Serena and Blair at some point. She knew that much - but her sister? She wished she could unpicture that. As if she didn't have enough of a mental battle comparing herself to her younger sister -  _Jenny is bold and beautiful and tall and thin and -_

"I mean, Nate has dated  _a lot_  of different people but the way you've been talking about him, this seems like something really special," Jenny tried her best to ease her sisters anxiety but wasn't sure she was helping.

"What do you mean  _a lot_?"

"You never followed Gossip Girl, did you?" Jenny took this opportunity to refill her sister's cocktail.

"Jen, honestly, outside of Manhattan, that blog did not have much reach. So aside from moments of curiosity when you and Dan would mention it, I never scanned it. Plus, considering we all now know Dan was the mastermind behind it, I really have no interest."

"Well, use your discretion but you could find out a lot about your boyfriend's past on there."

"He is not my boyfriend! We're just...hanging out. Or something. I don't know." Mackenzie sighed, taking a sip of her new drink. "I really have no idea what to do now."

"Mackenzie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to burst your romantic Nate bubble, honestly. Don't let this change your feelings towards him. I'm really happy for you!"

Mackenzie gave her sister a small smile, but sighed. Maybe she was just another on a long list for Nate, after all.

They talked a little while longer, but the conversation quickly fell flat. Mackenzie's brain was wired and she was feeling just a bit buzzed after the quick consumption of alcohol. As Jenny crawled into bed, Mackenzie grabbed her laptop and parked herself on the kitchen island, with the remainder bottle of wine beside her.

She knew the decision she was about to make was stupid but she pulled the trigger anyway. She typed Gossip Girl into her browser and dug in, losing herself in the pages and pages of now ancient drama that the Upper East Side crew soaked in. It was nearly midnight now, and she knew she should be sleeping before their international journey home tomorrow. But she couldn't stop herself.

By the time she went to bed an hour later, after regrettable messages sent, she was an emotional wreck.

—

"Are you going to tell me anything about this secret girlfriend?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Your dad mentioned you have a new friend, so I'm trying to pry."

Nate rolled his eyes at his cousin. They were sitting in front of the fireplace in the back lounge of the main house, having escaped from the rest of the Vanderbilts following dinner. Each gentleman had a whisky glass in hand, celebrating making it through the family function so far.

"I am seeing someone new, yes. I'm not sure she's officially my girlfriend yet, but there is something about her," Nate answered, hoping to appease Tripp's curiosity enough. They continued to sit and chat, mainly about the Mayor's office and Tripp's new position.

Shortly after one of their younger cousins popped his head in the door, "Nate! Tripp! Everyone is gearing up for the hockey game." The young boy darted away just as quickly as he appeared. Tripp got up to follow him out, while Nate lingered back for a few moments.

He took another sip of his drink and pulled out his phone. It was just after 7, so past midnight in London, and Mackenzie was likely already in bed. They hadn't been able to talk or message very much since their heated romantic phone call, but he wanted to at least say goodnight.

He sent her a quick message: ' _goodnight Mack, miss you. Counting the hours to your return. Message me when you leave in the morning! And let me know if I can pick you up at the airport. :)'_

Before he could leave the room, he felt his phone buzz. Maybe she was still awake. He swiped on his phone to see her response. A slew of other messages came in right after.

' _No need to pick me up. I think we've made a big mistake Nate.'_

' _You dated Vanessa too!? Oh my god who haven't u slept with'_

' _Why didn't u tell me you kissed Jenny I know it was high school but why didn't you tell m oh my god'_

' _My brother is such an idiot how did he manage to talk like a teenage socialists for so long'_

' _How old was Diana Payne!'_

' _Fuck. I should not have opened this goddym website'_

Nate read the messages over and over, not sure what to make of them. One, Mackenzie was upset and two, possibly drunk. Instead of messaging her back, he called her.

"Hello?"

"Mackenzie, what's going on?"

"I can't do this, Nate. I'm sorry."

"Can't do what? Talk to me?"

"Jenny knows about us, which is fine I guess. She mentioned that I could read up on your past on Gossip Girl and I'm just..I don't know what to feel."

"Fuck," Nate was pacing around the room as they talked. He was the first to admit he should have relayed some key information about his dating history to Mackenzie himself, but things had been going so well, he didn't want to bring that up yet. "Mack, I was going to fill you in on all that, my past and dating history but I didn't want to ruin what was going on. I didn't think it was something we had to broach yet."

"I have to sleep," she replied quietly, sniffling. He knew she was crying.

"Mack-"

"You can switch our tickets back to economy if you're upset with me now, Ijust don'-

"Don't be silly. Can we please just talk tomorrow?"

"Goodnight, Nate."

Nate sighed and threw his phone onto the couch, grabbing his glass and finishing off the amber liquid.

At this point, he wasn't sure if he knew Mack well enough to come back from this mess. He sighed again as he heard voices calling for him at the other end of the house. Sure, hockey would be a good distraction.

* * *

' _Please do not come to the airport. I'm sorry for the way I approached things last night and I'm very understanding if my reaction was a deal breaker. I'm turning off my phone, not ignoring you. I'm just suddenly feeling very lost.'_

Nate read his last message from Mackenzie again and again and again. He didn't know what to do or how to feel after reading it - he knew she was upset but her words were telling. He just wanted to apologize and talk to her in person.

The family hockey game had been a suitable distraction from the sudden mess with Mackenzie. Although he knew he was playing recklessly and it resulted in a few falls, ending with a pretty serious crash leaving his hand feeling pretty sore. He should have had gloves on, and he was worried he had done critical damage to his hand - but he was almost grateful to let the pain distract him when he tried to sleep.

He went to the office first thing in the morning to catch up on his inbox after the holidays. He knew he wasn't getting much work done as he watched the hours tick by. Mackenzie and her mother were set to arrive around 2PM. He was fighting the urge to meet her outside the gate upon her arrival but he knew he needed to respect her wishes.

"She didn't say I can't meet her at the loft," he said quietly to himself, a plan brewing in his head. He packed up his laptop and glanced at his watch.

Ten minutes later, Nate was climbing into the back of his towncar and John was dropping him off at the loft.

"Want me to wait, Arch?"

Nate sighed, "No, it's okay John, I'll call when I need you." Nate waved him off then headed into the building, taking a seat on the stairs outside the Humphrey lot.  _I will wait as long as it takes, for this girl._

* * *

Despite her protests, Alison insisted she and Alex drive Mackenzie home before they headed off to New Jersey to visit Alex's family.

"Mackenzie, you're exhausted. You're not taking a cab home."

"I was actually just going to take the subway but fine." Mackenzie got into the back of Alex's sedan outside JFK and let out a sigh. She spoke joyfully with her mother, regaling Alex with all the details from their stay with Jenny. Mackenzie had to admit the break was just what she needed, although her last night ending with a self induced emotional breakdown was not what she wanted. She did have a good heart to heart discussion with her mother during the flight home, though. Mackenzie went through all the details of her messages to him and the phone call and her doubts. It was moments like these that Mackenzie really missed having her mother close by - their time spent together in Hudson was challenging at times, but her mother was really one of her best friends.

As they pulled up to the loft, Mackenzie climbed out of the car and sighed as reality set in - she knew she had to talk to Nate about everything she had read on Gossip Girl. She finally switched her phone back on and frowned slightly when she didn't see any messages from him.  _That's what you wanted, Mackenzie_.

"Honey," Mackenzie looked up from her phone to see her mom stepping out of the car. She pulled her into a hug. "Just let things happen as the universe wants them to." Mackenzie rolled her eyes and smiled at her mother.

"Thanks mom," she gave her a kiss on the cheek. Alison returned to the car as Alex grabbed Mackenzie's bag, insistent on carrying it upstairs for her.

"I could have carried that, you know," Mackenzie protested, following him up the stairs.

"Your mother, despite her feminist nature, was not going to let me watch you lug this up four flights of stairs," Alex joked along, pausing when they reached the final staircase. Mackenzie stopped beside him and looked upwards, wondering what was stopping him from going further. Nate Archibald, dressed in a suit covered with an unbuttoned slate grey winter coat, tired eyes. Waiting. Waiting for her.

Nate stood up as they approached, shoving his phone into his pocket. Sure, he had made the decision to wait for Mackenzie at the loft, but he didn't have much follow through planned otherwise.

"Here, let me grab that," Nate took a few steps down and grabbed the suitcase from Alex, who gave him a skeptical glance. His eyes shot over to Mackenzie.

"Do you know this guy?" Alex asked, lowering his eyebrows slightly.

Mackenzie let out a breath and gave Nate a small smile before turning back to Alex, "Yes. Thanks Alex. You don't need to worry about him." She pulled him into a quick hug. "Tell mom to lay off the Cabernet for a few days." She waved as he headed back downstairs.

She took a deep breath as she walked up to the door to the apartment, where Nate was waiting for her, suitcase in hand. They stood there silently for a quick moment as Mackenzie unlocked the door. Nate followed her inside and pulled off his coat. He dropped onto the couch.

"So," he started, not entirely sure how to begin the conversation. He watched as she pulled off her coat and boots, remaining in black leggings and burgundy crewneck sweatshirt. She left her grey beanie on, keeping her straightened brown locks in place over her shoulders. He tried to read her face as she busied around, fiddling with the coffee machine on the counter. He could see she was nervous, unsettled, anxious.

"Mackenzie, come talk to me, please."

Mackenzie glanced over at Nate who was waiting for her on the couch. She wanted to join him and lean into his chest and kiss him but her mind wouldn't stop racing. She stopped what she was doing with the coffee machine and stood near the island.

"Listen, I just want to say I'm sorry for ambushing you here after your travels home. I can leave, if you want some space." He sighed and started to stand up.

"No," she interrupted his actions, "Please stay." He sat back down, his lips turning up to form a small smile. At least she wanted to talk.

She continued, but still kept her distance from him by standing near the kitchen, "Like I said in my text this morning, I want to reiterate my apology for sending you all those messages. It wasn't fair to just attack you with all those insane questions or accuse you of anything but, I hope you can understand where my worry is coming from."

Nate sighed, "No, I get it. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that all that shit on Gossip Girl isn't true. Some of it was embellished, sure. But I hate to admit your brother managed to capture a lot of stuff pretty accurately."

"Can we pause for a moment and discuss how any of you are even still friends with my brother after you found out about him? And after he published those god awful exposes? Like, I love the guy but that was all just… terrible, often really cruel. All for what? To capture Serena's attention?"

"I don't know how much you read in detail, but a lot of us made some pretty terrible decisions," Nate laughed bitterly, "Mackenzie, honestly." He paused, searching for his words, "I will tell you anything you want to know. I just don't want you to throw in the towel on us because of some stupid things I've done before."

She bit her lip nervously, her eyes looking across the room at Nate. She had to admit the versions of Nate she read about, albeit quickly, on Gossip Girl did not seem like an accurate description of the man sitting on her couch, pleading for her understanding.

"Every single thing I've done in the past, including many things I have come to regret, have led to this moment. To you. To this."

Mackenzie let out a breath and finally moved from her spot, moving to meet him on the couch. She dropped down opposite him, her body turned to face his. "I really wish Jenny didn't suggest I read that stupid site. I just..the past 24 hours have just been my brain shuffling through all your past trysts and romances, trying to figure out if I can even compare." She closed her eyes, sighing. She couldn't even look at him.

Nate could feel his heart sink as he listened to her words, full of doubt and uncertainty.

"Mack," he said softly, "Look at me, please." He shuffled towards her on the couch, pulling her hands away from their crossed over position on her chest. "Mackenzie."  _How am I supposed to convince this incredible girl sitting in front of me that she's all I want._ "Tell me what I can do, or say to make this better."

She opened her eyes, losing herself in his sultry, honest gaze. "I just don't think I'm enough for you." She looked down quickly, then pulled Nate's left hand towards her, "What happened to your hand?"

"Just a minor hockey accident yesterday, I'm fine," he shook his head as she studied his middle and ring fingers.

"You're not fine! Does this hurt?" she gently applied pressure to his knuckles, that were covered in a purple bruise. He winced in pain, but shook his head again.

"It's fine. I'm sure in a few days the bruising will go away."

"Did you at least ice it after it happened?" She ran her fingers over his whole hand this time, pulling his other hand forward to compare the two.

"I mean, technically I put ice on it right away, since it happened during the hockey game yesterday." He specifically left out he was reckless and angry after their phone call, causing him to play roughly with his cousin and end up slamming his hand into the goalpost in the first place.

She let out a frustrated sigh, mumbling under her breath about his stupid actions. Taking his right hand, she led him into the kitchen with her, putting a pause on their couch conversation. He just stood and watched as she dug around in the drawers for a clean cloth, grabbing ice from the freezer and filling a small plastic bag.

"C'mere," she said softly, pulling him in closely, slowly applying the makeshift ice pack to his left hand. He winced in pain again but he felt a warmth spread across his chest, through his throat, into his face. He looked up and met her eyes, her hand still laying on top of the ice.

"If the swelling doesn't go down, we're going to urgent care next." Her voice was quiet, a yawn escaping her lips. "I don't want you falling apart on me, Archibald."

Nate brought his right hand up to her face, his thumb stroking her cheek. She leaned into his hand, smiling. "Thank you for taking such good care of me, Mack." He leaned in and kissed her, taking in her soft lips. He could feel himself relax at the touch. He pulled his lips away, happy to see her mouth curl up into a smile.  _Not good enough? God, if only she knew. She was more than enough._ And he was determined to prove it to her.

**xoxoxo**

_Next up: as the New Year approaches, one Nate Archibald is determined to kiss his miss Humphrey at midnight. But a party with her father, brother, friends and a good looking lead singer of a band may prove for a difficult moment of alone time._ _well, you know what they say about secrets. they can only stay hidden for so long._


	12. Chapter 12

Nate walked into the loft late Friday evening, feeling incredibly stressed about work: the upcoming new website launch was delayed due to some backend errors and his two newest reports still hadn't submitted their January story pitches. It was already December 29th and he felt time was running out.

He was proud of how The Spectator had grown over the past few years. It was a constant news source for the North East region of the United States, focusing mainly on political and national news highlights. He dreamed, in a sense, of a self evolving community based reporting website, with constant traffic like Buzzfeed but less recycled lifestyle content. It was getting there - slowly but surely. His revenue from traffic and ad sales was doing well enough to sustain the news outlet now, but he wanted the growth to continue. And he wanted reporting done fairly and accurately.

Inside the loft he was greeted by Mackenzie standing over the stove. He noticed she has headphones in, listening to music as she cooked. He stood at the door for a moment and listened as she gently sang along, a feeling of warmth washing over him. He could feel the stress of his work day disappear. He left his bag at the door and walked over slowly to where she was standing.

He waved his hand in front of her slowly, hoping to avoid a repeat of the last time he interrupted her cooking at the loft. She let out a small gasp as she noticed him and pulled her headphones out.

"Oh, hi," she smiled, accepting a kiss from him.

"I think we need to get you a speaker system or something," Nate joked.

"I have one, if you can figure out how to set it up for me," she smiled at him, shrugging. Nate took a seat at the island as she continued to cook.

Shortly after Mackenzie's return to the city and Nate's impromptu visit to the loft the day before, the pair found themselves fast asleep on the couch together. In the moment, they both had decided to avoid having any further discussion about Gossip Girl, but Nate had suggested they go all in and put everything on the table. Not exactly a romantic date night after being apart from each other for so long, but to Nate, he knew it was the best way to be completely honest with her. Mackenzie was grateful for his desire to tell her his whole dating history, but she was nervous to tell him her own.

So, Mackenzie suggested dinner after work on Friday to have their big talk.

Nate glanced around the kitchen as she finished near the stove, "It smells great. But wasn't your plan today to clean the loft before your dad has that party here Sunday? We could have ordered in instead of.." he trailed off, motioning his hands around to the bowls and dishes across the counter.

"Uhm, excuse me, I wanted to cook! I don't want to be one of those New York citizens with a huge kitchen that never gets used. Plus, you're here to help me clean up after dinner." Mackenzie defended herself to him, pointing her messy wooden spoon in his direction. "And I cleaned everywhere else in here, so." She playfully stuck her tongue out at him, then turned down the stove. "While this simmers, I have something for you."

Nate watched her disappear into her bedroom for a few moments. He slipped off his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt while he waited, stretching his neck. He turned his head to her as she exited her room, a small box in her hands. He smiled as he took her in, tight dark denim on her legs, hugging her broad hips, an old plaid shirt wrapped around her waist, an oversized white t-shirt on top, hardly hiding her black bra underneath. He found her effortless, casual fashion so refreshing. Her wavy brown hair fell down past her shoulders, slightly frizzy due to the humidity of standing over the stove.

"What?" She interrupted his train of thought, now standing beside him at the island. "You're staring, Archibald."

Nate flashed a smile at her, "You're right, I can't help it. I just think you're beautiful. I'm glad you're home."

Mackenzie couldn't help but blush at his comment, "Okay, I can't even think of a witty response." She leaned in and kissed him. "For you, Romeo." She handed him a flat black box, embossed with a delicate gold logo.

Nate smiled again and opened the box, pulling across a layer of tissue paper. Inside laying flat was a silk necktie, cobalt blue in colour accented with a light grey pindot design.

"I know it's just a tie, but Jen helped me pick it out at this tailor on Savile. Not that she knew it was for you, specifically. But for my 'anonymous secret boyfriend'. I just thought it would look nice with that dark charcoal suit you have and…" Mackenzie trailed off as she watched him slowly lift it out of the box, running his hands across the fabric.

"I love it," he finally said, returning it to the box safely.

"I mean, it's the least I could do after the flights and the flowers. Obviously you have a lot of nice ties but I figured one more couldn't hurt, plus you could"

He cut her off, grabbing her waist and pulling her closer to him, "Wait, did you just call me your secret  _boyfriend_?"

Mackenzie's eyes shot open, wide. She did not mean to casually use that term before they had talked about it further. She bit her lip and shook her head slightly as her heart rate picked up, "No, definitely not. I mean, because that makes this very real and it's too soon? Unless you- "

He cut her off again, but this time with a kiss. They stayed there for a few moments, lips locked together. "Humphrey, I've been thinking about you every day for the last two months. I'd be honoured to be your boyfriend."

She let out an excited yelp as he continued to kiss her, his hands wandering all over her body. Her breath picked up and she pulled herself away. "Okay, pause. Let's eat. Then talk." She leaned in close to him, whispering into his ear, biting his earlobe, "Then maybe you can have fuck. your. girlfriend."

"Oh my god, you're killing me."

"Sorry, was that too much?" she flashed him an innocent smile.

An hour later, after enjoying a homemade marinara pasta (Nate did help clean up), Mackenzie was sitting on the living room floor, stretching her legs out, coffee table pushed to the side of the room. Nate was watching her from the couch, relaying his dating history to her.

"So, it was Blair, then Serena. Then Vanessa? Then Blair again? And you also kissed my sister somewhere in there. Then there was some duchess and a debutant. And kissing my sister. Then Serena choosing my brother over you. Then Serena's cousin? Oh and the psycho who's brother beat up your dad in jail. And Chuck's real mother maybe? And a high school senior. And most recently a blonde wannabe socialite."

Nate nodded along, sighing. "That covers most of it, yeah. Listen, saying it all out loud in chronological order makes me seem like some sort of of playboy. But I told your brother ages ago, sometime during all that Serena drama, that I've always chased after girls who were wrong for me." He paused. "So hopefully now I'm chasing after the right one."

Mackenzie sat quietly for a few moments, trying to wrap her head around all the information he had given to her. Nate was charming, she knew that. He knew that, too. But sitting here in front of her, she saw a very vulnerable side of him - an honest, remorseful Nate, full of regret over some of his past indiscretions.

"You loved her, didn't you?" She paused. "Serena."

"Sure, of course I did." Nate let out a breath, searching for his words. "But she never gave all of herself to me, really. There was a side of her I never really saw and it was always in the back of my mind. Your brother sees that side of her, he really grounds her in a way that no one else can."

Mackenzie lauded his honesty, again.

"I don't have feelings for her anymore though," Nate assured her, trying to figure out what she was thinking.

"Oh, I'm not worried about that," she finally replied, "I guess for me the hardest part of all this, on top of not feeling...enough, is that all these other women know so much about you that I don't yet. Or I worry I'll never know something about you that, say, Serena doesn't already know. I'm not sure that makes sense, hearing it out loud. I know this is all so new."

"Mack," he stood up from his spot on the couch and sat down on the floor.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything else right now," she said to him, as he sat cross legged opposite her. "It's time for me to tell you about my disaster of a romantic history. Buckle up, Archibald."

He smiled at her uninhibited attitude but worried about how opening up to each other may make her feel. He wasn't sure he could entirely wrap his head around her anxiety but he didn't want these discussions to make it worse.

"My first kiss was at some party in ninth grade, a lame spin the bottle situation. His name was Cody. He ended up dating my best friend. I was pretty quiet in high school, I was really focused on doing well and the workload was insane. I excelled at math but struggled basically everywhere else. I dated one guy my senior year, his name was Connor. I was pretty certain I loved him, but after a few months when I finally had sex with him, for the first time ever, might I add, I found out he cheated on me the night before prom."

"Oh man, boys are stupid. Especially in high school. Take it from me."

She smiled at his self reflection but carried on. "Now, after high school I went to Australia for a year. Well, it was just going to be for the summer to stay with my mom's cousin, but I met this guy and, well, didn't come home. My mom and Rufus were pissed but I deferred my acceptance to Northeastern so, whatever. It worked out. So I was living in Sydney, then followed this guy up to a city on the Gold Coast even though I had only known him for like three weeks. I figured I was young and this was love and he was handsome and older than me and - oh my god - it was, like, the biggest mistake I've ever made."

She paused to laugh and roll her eyes. "Anyway, his name was Luke. He told me he was a captain on a luxury boat tour service, that I should come live with him, and that I was the most beautiful person. He was just an incredibly persuasive sweet talker. I moved into his apartment in the city and it turns out he's a captain of their city transit boats that stopped up and down the central river. Captain? Okay, no. He was a glorified bus driver!"

Nate couldn't help but laugh at her hysterics but he had a feeling that the story was going to get worse.

She sighed then looked down, avoiding looking at Nate. "I truly thought I was in love with him. But it took me months to realize that someone who loves you shouldn't call you names or bar you from having friends or stop you from wearing a bikini in public or be the only person in the relationship who decides when you're having sex." She let out a breath. "At first I fought with him a lot. Then I just gave in to everything. I was like a shell of myself. He did pay for everything while I lived there, which he held against me, but I managed to save a ton of money and I just moved back to Sydney one day while he was at work, I realized he was sleeping with basically every other woman he encountered. I headed home a few weeks after that."

Nate reached out to put his hand over hers as it rested on her knee.

She took a deep breath and exhaled again, gaining a bit more energy in her story, "I swore off dating in college because of him. My first year was a mess, mainly fueled by rage directed at Rufus. Which is a story for another day. But I slept around a bit in my freshman year, then just had a great friends with benefits deal with my friend Brandon for, like, the rest of college. He was great in bed." She paused. "Sorry, that's an overshare."

"As long as I'm better," Nate laughed.

"Oh, without a doubt. Brandon was good and consistent. But he wasn't very adventurous. And that's it, aside from Adam. Who was an idiot, but you know that already."

"So, Cody, your ninth grade first kiss. Then Connor, your high school boyfriend. Followed by Luke, the piece of shit Australian boat driver and then Adam, the coward."

Mackenzie sighed and leaned her head back, "That sums it up."

"Oh, and Brandon, adequate bed partner," Nate pointed his finger at her, "The only one I'm really worried about. Although I would like to find Luke and punch him."

Mackenzie gave him a small smile, "I really just try to hold onto the belief that karma will get him someday. I mean, he screwed me up for a long time but it was years ago now. There's minimal residual damage. Onto bigger and better things." She bit her lip as she looked over at Nate. "Much better,  _much bigger._ "

Nate crawled towards her and gently pushed her down, laying slightly on top, showering her with kisses. He didn't know how else to show his affection in that very moment. All he wanted to do was assure her of his loyalty. He wanted her to know how his heart pounded for her. How his mind raced thinking of her most moments of the day.

Her phone interrupted their moment, beginning to buzz on the kitchen counter.

"I have to get that," she spoke into his lips, pushing his chest away from her. He sighed and watched as she walked into the kitchen.

Mackenzie grabbed her phone off the counter and sighed when she saw her dad on the caller ID. She had hardly talked to him since his last text had triggered a panic attack. She also knew she couldn't avoid him forever, especially since he was coming back to the city tomorrow.

"Hello?"

"Mackenzie, hi."

"What can I do for you?"

"Listen, honey, I just want to apologize for what I said to you a few weeks ago. It was really out of line, and I talked to your brother and well, he made it pretty clear my words were not chosen well."

Mackenzie rolled her eyes. Of course her dad could hardly even apologize on his own merit. As much as she appreciated Dan's input, it would be nice to have Rufus own up to his own missteps.

"Yeah, well, it didn't feel great to be attacked and judged for my actions weeks later. Or have you hold my living in the loft against me. Especially considering you are helping pay Jen's rent, too. " She tried not to raise her voice much higher, or break her own confidence. "But I don't want to fight."

Nate stood up when he heard her voice elevated. He took a few steps towards her, a concerned look on his face. She started to pace as she talked.

"Mack, honey, I'm sorry. If we can move past this, I would love to start this all again. I know you've been through a lot, but if you're seeing someone new and he makes you happy-"

"He does."

"Then when you're ready, I would love to meet him. Hell, you should invite him to the New Years party." She sighed. This was as much of a peace fire they would be able to meet for the time being.

"Sure, I'll see if he wants to come."

They hung up a few minutes later, after discussing some logistics for Sunday. She placed her phone down on the counter but continued to pace. Her father had a tendency to raise her blood pressure, but not in a good way.

"Who was that? Are you okay?" Nate asked, cornering her near the sink, putting his hands on her shoulders. He moved his hands up and down her arms, pulling her into an embrace. "What's going on?"

She groaned, but gave into his hug, feeling her tension release, "Just Rufus."

"I feel like you refer to him by his first name more than calling him dad," Nate commented.

She pulled away from him slightly, her hands resting at the small of his back and his around the back of her neck. "Yeah, we have a complicated relationship. It's a long story. Do you remember that night after the gala with your mom? A few days before I left?"

"Yeah?"

"He sent me an incredibly insensitive message so I've been avoiding him since then. I doubt it was his intention to upset me  _that much_  but it did push me into a full blown panic attack that night." Her voice was barely audible by the end of her sentence. Her head was tilted down, unable to look him in the eyes.

"What? Mack, why didn't you tell me?" Nate moved his hand to her chin, raising her face to look at him.

She shook him away, releasing her hands from behind him, moving them defensively crossed in front her her chest. "Because it's embarrassing? And I'm left feeling ashamed? Not only that, my brother and sister have portrayed a perfectly normal relationship with our father and I don't have that and it makes me feel even worse to think about." She could feel her voice shaking. She took a few steps and turned away from him. "I'm sorry. Sometimes the attacks just come out of nowhere and it's all consuming and it's hard to explain. But if this is too much or you don't want to deal with it, we can just stop this-"

"Mackenzie, you've got to stop doing this. Trying to give me a reason to leave. I don't want to."

"You say that now but the moment I have a panic attack, you might just-"

"I'm not going anywhere." He closed in the space between them and pulled her close again. "I promise." He wrapped his arms around her tightly, kissing the top of her head as it rested against his chest. "But you have to promise to tell me when these things happen so I can try to help or something." Nate was honestly clueless about all things related to panic attacks and trauma but he was willing to do anything.

"Okay," she said quietly into his chest. She remained there for a few minutes, as he gently rubbed her back. It was a moment and feeling that Mackenzie hadn't known for a long time - genuine comfort and support.

"Hey, how's your hand?" She pulled away from him again, reaching down to look at his bruised fingers.

"It hurts less today," he reported to her, smiling as she brushed her hand over his. She smiled and nodded her head in approval.

"Good. Because these hands are precious to me," she said quietly, bringing his hand up to her lips to kiss it gently. She had seductive smile on her face. Nate raised his eyebrows at her positive shift in mood, grateful to know she was feeling less anxious and even more excited to know she was feeling playful. He pulled his hand away from her and moved it behind her neck again, pulling her in, his lips meeting hers abruptly.

"So, girlfriend," he whispered into her ear as he pulled away, laying kisses down her neck.

"Yes, boyfriend?" she responded, letting out a gentle moan as he pulled on her hair.

"We ate. We talked. So now we…" He met her eyes, they were feisty and full of mischief. He had no idea what this girl would awaken in him, something so carnal and demanding.

She gave him a sultry smile, "Now we fuck?"

"Shall we?" He didn't wait for her to respond as his lips met hers again, his hands making his way all over her.

"You're in charge, please," she managed to choke out, parting from his lips for a moment.

He pushed her along as he kissed her, leading her directly to her bedroom. He pushed her down on the bed as he started to unbutton his shirt. She tore off her t-shirt, revealing a lacey black bra. He let out a groan when he saw it, unable to get his belt off fast enough. He needed to be with her, skin to skin. He needed it now.  _You're in charge. Damn right, I'm in charge._

Mackenzie leaned back on the bed, illuminated only by a lamp on her bedside table. She smiled gleefully watching Nate tear his clothes off.

"You better take those pants off," he growled at her, a devious smile on her face. He gave her a stern glance, biting his lip. "Off."

She gulped at him, reaching for her the button of her jeans. There was something about this handsome man standing in front of her, telling her what to do, needing her so badly that made her insides heat up like flames. Nate Archibald wanted  _her._

She gave him a playful smile and stood up, slowly pulling them down as he watched. He took a step towards her, his face at her chest level as she stood on her bed. As her jeans reached her ankles, his hands landed on her thighs, reaching around to grab her ass firmly. He kissed at the exposed skin between her breasts, nibbling gently at her skin. She moaned out his name as he bit her, her hands grasping onto his shoulders tightly.

She braced herself on him as she stepped out of her jeans, kicking them to the floor. His fingers found their way to her bra clasp next, releasing quickly as it fell forward. Nate moaned with pleasure as he tore it away, his mouth landing directly on one of her now free nipples, one of his hands taking care of the other. Her hands remained on his hair, tugging at it gently as he handled her breasts.

Nate came to a full stop for a moment and took a step back to look at her. He bit his lip as he stared. Mackenzie took the pause as a time to flip her hair over to one side, and placed one hand on her hip, patiently waiting.

"What? Am I not allowed to bask in my girlfriend's beautiful body?" He smirked at her, guiding his fingers gently along her exposed skin, slowly making his way down to the waistline of her underwear. He tugged on them gently, then pulled them down in a sudden motion. She stepped out of them and closed her eyes.

Mackenzie blushed at his words and actions, suddenly very aware of her nearly naked body in front of him.

"I love making you blush." Nate grabbed her hand and pulled her down to her knees on the bed. He pulled down his boxes and Mackenzie couldn't help but moan again as she saw him, all of him. His size was impressive and she was still surprised every time she saw him exposed like this. He kneeled in front of her on the bed, his hands returning to her body as they kissed, mouths and tongues fighting for dominance. He growled again as she reached down and started to stroke him, breaking away from her mouth to breathe.

He couldn't take it anymore, he started to lean back and he pulled her along, feeling comforted by her body on top of his. She kissed him deeply, then supported herself on his  _well defined_ chest as she positioned herself on top of him. She threw her head back as she sunk onto all of him at once, letting out a passionate moan.

Nate beamed at her response as he felt himself inside her, reaching his arms out to touch steady her torso on him. She bucked on top of him, her eyes squeezed shut. Her heart rate increased as she moved, releasing her hands from the grip on his chest and running them across her chest. He watched her and swore under his breath, captivated by her in the dull lamplight.

"Mackenzie," he breathed her name, moving his hands onto her plentiful thighs, his hands and nails gripping her tightly.

"Nate…" she was breathless as she finally opened her eyes, smiling down at him, "You feel so good.."

He let her continue a few moments longer, reaching up to pinch at her nipples, eliciting even louder calls of his name from her. He moved his hands down her body and grabbed her waist to slow her down. His hand explored even further, extending his fingers across her most sensitive spot. She paused her actions and gasped as her circled around, creating an intense build up in the pit of her stomach.

"Nate, I'm going to.." she started to approach her climax, and he pulled his hand away quickly.

"Not until I say," He grabbed her hips again and gracefully rotated their bodies. She slipped off and ended up on her back underneath him, panting with desire. Her hands moved down her own body, desperate to finish. He grabbed her hand to stop her, bringing it up to his lips. He kissed her hand then dropped it beside her, leaning down to kiss lips. He bit her lip as she moaned his name again and again, kissing down her whole body. His hands brushed across the soft skin of her inner thighs. He slid his fingers across her wetness and slowly circled around her again, causing her hips to raise to his touch.

"Nate," she whispered again, her arms reaching out to clutch the bedsheets. "Please, I'm so close, I'm going to.." She looked up at him, pleading with her eyes.

He increased his speed and nodded his head at her, taking the opportunity thrust all of himself into her as her orgasm waved through her body. She called out his name even louder as it rolled through her, feeling it from her shoulders down to the tips of her toes. He watched her body shake as he moved in and out. He leaned down to be parallel with her as he picked up his pace, biting at every inch of her he could reach. She grasped onto his back and held him tight as she reached his own climax. She clamped her legs around him as she felt him pulsing inside her.

"I think I've died and gone to heaven," she finally breathed out, moments later as they laid there, clutching each other. He kissed her one more time before sliding out and laying beside her.

"I got a bit caught up, sorry if that was too much," he turned his head to her, catching his breath.

"Honestly, I like how you take control, it really ignites something in me," she admitted quietly. It was really the moments following the passion, the close intimacy of lying with each other, that she liked the most.

Mackenzie rested her head on Nate's bare chest, her arm wrapped around his torso. He held her close, slowly drawing circles on her back and shoulder with his fingers.

_This is it. This is all I need._

Nate's voice broke their comfortable silence, "When I was 15, my mom took me to see the off-Broadway production of  _Spring Awakening_ and I cried like a baby."

"What?" Mackenzie responded to him, propping herself up to meet his eyes, a confused smile on her face.

"I've never told anyone that before," he shrugged at her, "Now you know something no one else in the world knows. Well, except Anne Archibald."

She leaned in to kiss him then collapsed back onto his chest. His warmth radiated into her and she listened to the steady tone of his heart beat.

_This is all I need._

—

"Mackenzie?!"

A loud voice coming from the loft door jolted Mackenzie awake. She smiled for a brief moment, feeling Nate's arms holding her tightly as he was stirring awake.

The person at the door banged a few times. "I can't find the spare key!"

She sat up in bed quickly, suddenly recognizing the voice. Her dad.

"Oh my god, Nate. We slept in. It's like 11AM." She jumped out of bed and yelled toward the door, "One minute! I have to get dressed."

She started to scramble, darting around her room. She pulled on her jeans from the night before and threw on a grey cable knit sweater, running her hands through her hair.

"Hey," she went over and kissed Nate, as he laid there watching her rush around. "You stay here for a minute, please. I'm not ready to tell my dad about this. Is that okay?"

Nate reached his arms out to pull her closer and kiss her harder, "Whenever you're ready is fine with me." She paused to smile at him, then remembered her dad at the door.

"I'll try to move this along quickly." She darted out of her room, closing the doors behind her.

She noticed Nate's jacket and laptop bag, so she quickly rushed them back to the room. She stopped to kiss him once more then finally made her way to the door to unlock it for Rufus.

"Sorry, I moved the key to the door frame," she reached up and pointed to the top framed edge where the key was hiding. "Paranoia."

Rufus smiled at her and followed her inside, dropping off his bag near the couch. He stretched his arms with a yawn and looked around the place. "Looks great Mack, thanks for taking care of the place so well."

"Well, living alone means if I make a mess I have to clean it up," she smiled at him, leaning on the counter. Suddenly, a phone started to ring from behind her bedroom door. "One second."

Mackenzie rushed over to her bedroom and slid through, barely opening the doors.

Nate looked at her with an apologetic face and mouthed an apology to her, grasping his now silent phone in his hand. She couldn't help but smile at his innocent face, wrapped up in her bed sheets. She grabbed her own phone from the bedside table and left again, shutting the door behind.

"Dan and Serena are heading to Norma's for brunch - what do you say we join them?" Rufus announced to her as she walked back out.

She smiled at him, relieved to give Nate some time to escape, "Sounds great, I'm starving." She threw on her leather jacket and grabbed her purse, quickly following her dad out of the apartment.

As they walked out onto the city streets, Mackenzie sent Nate a quick message that he was free to go anytime and that they would talk later.

Rufus hailed them a cab and turned to his daughter, a grin on his face, "You know, you could have invited him."

"What? Who?"

"Whoever is hiding in your bedroom right now."

Mackenzie's jaw dropped open, uncertain of how she should respond. Clearly she didn't do a great job covering their tracks.

"I'm not an idiot, you know." Rufus said to her as a cab pulled up towards them. He opened the door and motioned for her to get in. "Remind him to lock up when he leaves."

Mackenzie sighed and smiled at her father, "Let's pretend this conversation never happened, okay?"

**xoxoxo**

_New Years Eve approaches..._


	13. Chapter 13

"So, did you invite your latest flavour of the week?"

Nate rolled his eyes at Dan, taking a sip of his beer. It was New Years' Eve, and the party at the loft was in full swing. Rufus had broken the news that Aftershock's drummer had to rush home for a family emergency so their set had been canceled. But he was still hosting the band and other music industry locals at the loft for the celebrations. There had been rumblings about going out to a bar sometime in the course of the evening, too.

"You know, just because I'm seeing someone new doesn't mean it's some temporary fling," Nate defended himself to his friend. They were both standing in the kitchen area of the loft, observing the party unfolding around them.

The middle bookshelf had been pushed to the side of the room, creating a wide open space for people to stand and mingle. The record player was rotating in the corner, sending vintage rock throughout the party. Both Mackenzie's room and the spare office had been opened up for more space as people piled into the apartment.

Nate watched Mackenzie across the room, sitting and talking with Eric. He hadn't seen her since the morning before when he had to escape from the loft after she and Rufus had left. He spent most of Saturday at the office with Leo and their IT department, trying to work out the website issues.

He couldn't stop thinking about his  _girlfriend_  though. And he could hardly take his eyes off her now.

"In fact," Nate raised his glass to Dan, "We just made things official."

"You're telling me you are now calling this new woman your girlfriend? You dated Amelia for three months but wouldn't commit to her. This must be serious," Dan clinked his glass with Nate's, raising his eyebrows skeptically.

"It feels pretty real with her," Nate responded to Dan, a classic Archibald smile crossing his face.

"So when do we get to meet her?"

"We're going at her pace, but soon, I think."

Mackenzie had to be honest with herself that knowing Nate Archibald was officially her boyfriend was incredibly exciting but equally frightening. She could resolve her doubts now - she knew his feelings were true. But now, the whole world would know. And that just made things a bit more complicated.

She knew she shouldn't care about how people reacted. But it was hard not to think about.

She was sitting with Eric in the midst of the New Years party being hosted at the loft. It wasn't the magical, glowing atmosphere most New Yorkers dreamed about to ring in the new year, but it was a lively party. Mackenzie had to be honest: this is not how she would like to ring in the new year. Her brain was buzzing at the idea of this sea of people being in her  _home_ but she knew she had to just fight through her anxiety. It's only one night. She just would have preferred a quiet night in instead.

"So, a little birdie told me a secret," Eric said to Mackenzie, gently knocking her shoulder with his as they sat on the couch.

Mackenzie took a sip of her drink and rolled her eyes, a little anxious about where this conversation was headed, "Was this bird a blonde who currently lives in London?" She knew her sister and Eric still had a close long distance friendship after all this time.

Eric pursed his lips together, holding in a smile as he nodded. Mackenzie groaned in response to him and leaned back on the couch. "So much for swearing her to secrecy."

Eric leaned in to her and took a swig of his drink. "I figured this was more than a one sided crush. Why are you guys keeping this so  _hush hush_?"

Mackenzie quickly glanced around the room and spotted Nate standing in the kitchen with Dan. "That's exactly why. Dan Humphrey, judgemental, annoyingly protective. Well, not just Dan. The thought of telling people scares the shit out of me." She sighed. "Plus, we didn't really officially define it until a few days ago."  _He could always change his mind…_

"Well, I'm on board," Eric smiled at her, glancing over towards Nate, "I feel like Nate really has his work life together - so I'm glad he's found a worthy partner to help him figure out the rest."

"Thanks for your support, Eric," she laughed, patting him on the arm. He stood up and excused himself, in search of a drink refill.

As she sat alone on the couch, she glanced over towards the kitchen again. She caught Nate staring at her, flashing as smile when their eyes met.  _Does he know that smile makes my knees buckle?_ She saw him start to walk towards her but he was interrupted by Eric's appearance in the kitchen.

She stifled a laugh and took a moment to smooth out her black skirt. She was wearing a cut up Rolling Stones tee revealing a lace bralette underneath, tucked into the skirt, paired with sheer black leggings and a short burgundy boot.

She stood up and walked towards the kitchen to talk to Nate, but she was cut off by a familiar looking male. She took him in quickly as he stood in front of her. Canvas shoes, ripped denim, short button up shirt, sleeve of tattoos, keys dangling off a belt loop, a bottle of beer in hand. She finally realized he was in Aftershock. The lead singer, even.

"Does Rufus know you defaced that vintage Stones tee?" He smiled at Mackenzie, causing a laugh to escape her mouth.

"Honestly, he left it here so I think it was fair game," she responded, crossing her arms defensively over her chest. Sure, she knew the shirt was revealing but she didn't want anyone but Nate to appreciate it.

"So, fashion or finance?"

"Sorry?" She didn't have much interest in talking to him, but she knew her dad was proud to be hosting them for the evening so she did her best to keep up polite conversation. Aftershock wasn't a famous band, by any means, but they were picking up speed on the rock charts and she knew they had been working hard on their new record. Rufus' long term stay producing for them in LA was proving valuable.

"Rufus pointed you out as his daughter but he talks about you and your sister a lot. So, which one are you?" He paused to take a sip of his beer. "I'm Ryan, by the way."

She smiled at the thought of her father discussing her to these band guys. It was comforting, in a way. "I'm Mackenzie. And to answer your question, finance. It's not how I would define myself personally but it's my goal to work in financial analytics in the future."

"Okay, well, how would you define yourself then? Personally." He smiled at her again. His body language was open, inviting. Mackenzie read his face for a moment, trying to determine his intentions. He had warm brown eyes, a swept over trendy haircut and stubble lining his jaw.

They continued to talk back and forth for a few moments, Mackenzie nursing her drink as he went into detail about how the band all met in high school and some fun stories from the new album recording process.

"I have to admit I haven't listened to any of your new stuff," she shrugged at him, an apologetic smile on her face. She knew they had released two singles already which had picked up some traction online.

"What? Does your dad know about this? Ouch," Ryan placed his hand over his heart, a fake look of hurt coming across his face. "We're changing this right now." He quickly put his arm around her lower back to lead her towards the record player on the far side of the room, passing through the small crowd, digging out his phone to hook up to the sound system instead.

As they walked she made a point to side step away from him, crossing her arms over her chest. While it may have been an innocent action, she was not going to tolerate this unfamiliar male touching her. She didn't want to make a scene, but she did her best to keep a safe distance from him.

Nate continued to talk with Dan at the kitchen island, watching as the party unfolded around them.

"Where's Serena tonight?" Nate was doing his best not to stare at Mackenzie across the room, but he just loved to watch her smile. Plus, he had to admit the ripped up band tee, lace bra and smokey eye were really awakening some urges in him. He had to bite his lip a few times just to calm down.

"She promised Lily she would make an appearance at some event," Dan shrugged, rolling up the sleeves of his suit jacket, "She'll be here afterwards. How did you escape that commitment?" Dan turned his attention to Eric who suddenly appeared at their side.

"I'm not the tall beautiful blonde daughter about to start a job at The Met she needs to show off." Eric joked, grabbing a bottle off the open bar counter to mix another drink. As Dan turned to talk with Eric, Nate's eyes turned to Mackenzie as she got up off the couch to head towards him. His excited smile fell when he saw who he could only assume was one of the band members intercept her attention.

Nate watched as they spoke for a few moments, genuinely content watching how passionate she was as she spoke. But he felt a heat rise in his chest as this guy looked at her. He almost dropped his beer bottle when he saw his arm go behind her back to lead her across the room.

"Ah, jealousy rears its ugly head," Eric commented to Nate, who was rapidly finishing his beer. Nate watched Mackenzie step away from the band member as they spoke, which calmed his initial concerns but also made him worry about her.  _If this guy is making her uncomfortable…_

"Wait, what?" Nate turned his attention to Eric, who was now the only one standing beside him. Dan had walked off to find his dad across the room.

"You guys aren't as subtle as you think," Eric told him, motioning his head to where Mackenzie was standing. "You've barely taken your eyes off of her all night."

Nate's face flushed at Eric's commented and his mind raced to try and deter Eric's thoughts but he just conceded, "I really like her, Eric."

"I am all for  _Nate-enzie,_ " Eric gave Nate a comforting smile. "But you're going to have to dial back the scowl. She doesn't even seem a little interested in the band dude, she's probably just being nice."

"Oh I'm not worried about her. I'm worried about him." Nate replied quietly. He knew Mackenzie had a tendency to be a bit naive, she admitted it herself, especially when it comes to men and their intentions.

Dan and Rufus were making their way back to the kitchen island.

"It's nice to be back in the city, with my kids," Rufus smiled at Dan, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Well, two out of three is pretty okay." He moved his head, looking for his daughter. He spotted her across the room, standing uncomfortably with Ryan as he droned on and on about his own music.

"She needs rescue from that, I think," Eric blurted out.

"Mackenzie!" Rufus shouted across the room to get her attention. He waved her over to where they were standing. She opened her eyes wide and mouthed 'Thank you' to him, turning quickly away from the singer.

"Oh thank god." She let out a breath, putting a grateful hand on her dad's shoulder. "How do you shut him up?"

"Most of us just tune him out, honestly," Rufus responded to her with a smile, "Let me know if he steps out of line though. Unless your new boyfriend is going to show up soon and scare him away."

Mackenzie's eyes widened again and she bit her lip, "Let's leave the new guy out of this. You might meet him later." She paused, avoiding Eric's eyes across the island and doing her best to ignore Nate's devilish smirk. "Dan, I would argue it's time for a family shot, don't you think?"

"Any requests?" Dan's hands ran across the bottles ahead of him, glancing from his dad to his sister.

Mackenzie looked at her dad, "Your choice, old man."

Rufus let out a laugh and looked at his daughter, a shocked smile on his face, "Let's hope that boyfriend of yours shows up because I am not holding your hair back when you throw up later, Mack." He looked over at Dan. "Tequila, silver."

Eric gave Nate a friendly nudge at the boyfriend comment that escaped Rufus' mouth. Nate just held back his smile as he sipped his drink, watching as the Humphrey's all successfully slid shots of liquor into their mouths.

Mackenzie felt the warmth flow through her body following the burn down her throat. Maybe the alcohol was getting to her head, but she was having a difficult time resisting running across the room to kiss Nate. Her nerves about announcing their relationship seemed to be evaporating with every sip. It was probably not a good thing, of course, to rely on the drinks to push her towards the honest truth.

But if she could just figure out how to get him alone.

As everyone continued to talk, she couldn't tear her eyes off of him. She loved his casual look. Dark jeans, plain white t, black suit jacket. Sure, she loved seeing him in a tie. But these moments reminded her of his down to earth side, his informal true self. He caught her as she watched him, slowly licking his lips before his mouth turned up into a sensual smile. She let out a slow breath, biting her lips.

Serena appeared a few minutes later, dressed up in a sparkling cocktail dress. She pulled her hair out of the up-do it was stuck in as Dan took her coat, saddling up beside Mackenzie on the stools at the island.

"My mom wouldn't let me even carry a champagne glass tonight," Serena threw her hands down on the table. "Please, help me out." Rufus had made his way towards the other side of the room, stopping to chat with the band members and some other music executives.

Dan returned to the island, grabbing the leftover shot glasses, "Round two?"

Mackenzie let out a groan as she watched Dan pour out shots of tequila again, this time for himself, Mackenzie, Serena, Eric and Nate.

"It's okay if you can't handle it, Humphrey," Nate met her eyes, raising his eyebrows up and down playfully. She opened her mouth to respond, then let her lips turn into a competitive smile.  _Is he flirting with me, in front of all these people?_

"Oh, that's some strong smack talk coming from the person who didn't make it to the ball drop last year," Dan jeered at Nate, sliding a shot glass to him.

"Says the guy who only made it to 12:30," Serena shot at Dan, picking up the glass in front of her.

"We can't let these men make fools of us, Serena," Mackenzie held up her glass to clink with the blonde's. She met eyes with Nate again as they all finished their ounces together.

"I'm calling it right now," Eric piped in, wincing as the tequila went down his throat, "This is the moment we are all going to regret."

Mackenzie was walking arm-in-arm with Serena as they headed towards a Williamsburg bar. They were a few paces behind Dan, Eric and Nate, and they were all following Rufus and the flock of band boys. It was past 11 and the party had left everyone intoxicated enough to walk 10 blocks instead of trying to hail cabs.

"Isn't it just so cute?" Serena was showing Mackenzie a picture of Chuck, Blair and Henry from their Christmas holidays to Paris. "Chuck is flying back tonight but Blair and Henry are staying for another week. He's a big softie, that ex-step-brother of mine."

"And you're a proud godmother showing off that cute boy," Mackenzie giggled, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She had opted for a cropped blazer instead of her jacket as they walked and was already regretting her choice.

"We'll just be a second," Serena said to the boys as they approached the car, pausing with Mackenzie outside. "So, this new guy you're being so secretive about - it's serious? Because Mr. Lead Singer has been staring you down all night."

Mackenzie rolled her eyes, "I'm off the market now. Band boy can keep it in his pants."

Inside, Dan and Nate made their way through the crowd to the bar. The venue was packed with people, but Rufus had reserved a small section on the balcony level for his group to reside in.

"So tell me, why are you out here in Brooklyn tonight instead of ringing in the new year with your new girlfriend?" Dan asked his friend as they waited for their turn with the bartender. Nate delayed his response for a moment, wondering about how he was going to kiss Mackenzie at midnight with all these people around. She's really the only person he wanted to be ringing in the new year with anyway.

Nate brought his hand up to his neck to rub it for a moment as he contemplated his response, "She had some plans with her family."

"Oh, very wholesome," Dan laughed, motioning to the bartender for a few drinks.

"Trust me, she's not as dry as you think," Nate replied. He knew he should probably just cut the conversation and keep his budding relationship a mystery but he wanted to shout from the rooftops about Mackenzie. Her brother likely wasn't the proper sounding board but the liquor was going to his head.

"Oh yeah?" Dan questioned, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Nate leaned in to the bartender to order his drink as well, then turned back to his friend. "Do tell."

Nate was hesitant to continue but took Dan's suggestive look as an opportunity to brag, "All I can say is we're very  _compatible._ "

"My man," Dan laughed, patting his shoulder, "I'm happy for you." The pair found Eric in the crowd then headed upstairs to sit.

As Serena and Mackenzie ventured in, they met up with Ryan and another one of the guys from the band at the bar. The girls smiled at them politely, the loud music from the DJ across the room was too loud to try and really talk.

"Can I buy you a drink, sweetheart?" Ryan directed the question at Mackenzie, shouting slightly over the music. His words were loose, clearly his evening of drinking was getting to his head.

She shook her head but before she could respond, the bartender interrupted, "Sorry, man. That gentleman upstairs said these ladies are on his tab." He pointed upstairs at Nate, who was standing having a conversation with Eric. Mackenzie ordered a double gin and tonic quickly, grateful for both Nate and the bartender for giving them a fast opportunity to get away from the band guys.

Mackenzie could feel her heartbeat rising as she looked around the room. She was glad to be with people she knew, but the large crowd left her feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Her mind kept reminding her Nate was upstairs. It was hard to be around him without touching him, letting his arms fall around her. But his presence was a comfort. She waited patiently as Serena got her own drink then they turned to plan their way to the staircase leading upstairs.

As the two women started to walk away, Mackenzie felt something,  _someone_  grab under her skirt from behind. The hand remained there for just a few moments, making its presence known as it grabbed one side of her ass  _hard._  She turned her head around to see who it was as Serena pulled her through the crowd. Her face heated up and her mouth dropped open in anger as she saw Ryan waving at her, a cocky grimace on his face.

It wasn't the first time a random person had touched her without asking, and she knew it likely wouldn't be the last. Usually the annoying, slimy feeling disappeared quickly but Mackenzie was left feeling almost ashamed of the action. The look on the singer's face indicated he was doing it on purpose,  _harassing her on purpose_ , for his own pleasure. To mitigate her quiet rejection, perhaps. She tried to take deep breaths as they walked up the stairs, but she couldn't stop herself from looking out into the crowd. She caught his eyes again from near the bar, he was still smirking proudly.

"Thanks for the drinks, Nate," Serena announced to him as they stopped upstairs. She turned to Dan next, leaving Nate to turn his attention to Mackenzie. She smiled at him kindly as she took along gulp of her drink. Her eyes were racing around the room.  _Mackenzie, you're fine. It's okay. Life goes on. Some men are terrible, but let it go. Maybe you should have yelled at him about it, but it's over now._

"Hey, what's going on?" Nate's eyes narrowed as he looked at her, trying to decipher what was causing her duress. He reached his hand out to touch her arm, but pulled it back hesitantly. He took a step closer, "Are you okay?"

She shook her head no, swallowing hard as she saw Ryan and his band mates flop onto the couch in their roped off area. She turned away from them before she let her eyes meet his, and tipped the rest of her drink into her mouth.

Before Nate could follow up, Eric appeared between them, "You guys want to dance?"

Mackenzie did not want to dance, but her disinterest in spending more time with this crowd of musicians warranted an aggressive head nod, taking Eric's hand as he lead her down the stairs. She turned her head and saw Nate following them, finishing off his drink.

By the time they reached the middle of the dance floor, they were surrounded by a sea of people. Midnight was approaching quickly and the heat of the dance floor seemed to be rising by the minute. Mackenzie watched Eric lean in to Nate's ear, then smile at her mischievously before disappearing into the crowd.

Nate motioned towards the door and grabbed Mackenzie's hand, leading her through the dancing bodies and escaping outside the entryway to get some fresh air.

"Eric is the ideal wingman, it turns out," Nate laughed, reflecting on the young Van Der Woodsen's smooth exit to leave Nate and Mackenzie alone for a few moments. Mackenzie took a few steps away from him, nodding at his light words. She slowly took a few deep breaths, trying to slow down her rapid heartbeat.

"Mack," Nate matched her few steps and planted himself in front of her, gently putting his arms on her shoulders, then pulling her into a hug. She leaned into his chest and continued her deep breathing. "What happened? You were okay on the walk over?"

"Yeah, it's just.." she paused, pulling away from him for a moment. He kept his hands wrapped around her, laying a kiss on her forehead while she collected her thoughts.

"That douchebag lead singer...he.." she let out her breath, feeling embarrassed to even reveal that such an action has left in disarray, "He touched me. Like, his hand went right under my skirt and..." She trailed off, biting her lip.

"What the fuck? Are you serious?" Nate shook his head, feeling an angry heat pass through his veins.

"I'm sorry, you have every right to be angry. I know this outfit was probably not the best choice and maybe he got the wrong idea when I was talking to him earlier and-"

"Mackenzie," Nate pulled her in again, "Stop. I'm not mad at you, you didn't do anything wrong." His mind was reeling. He knew this happened to women all the time, especially in crowded public areas. But this small action felt personal. Clearly this guy knew what he was doing, and he likely knew Mackenzie was not going to do anything about it.

"I'm probably just overreacting, it's just a bad mix of my anxiety and these crowds and the alcohol, I'm more worked up than I should be."

"Hey, hey, stop." Nate held her still, at barely an arms length. "Mackenzie." He dropped one of his arms and gently lifted her chin, meeting her eyes. Nate felt a fire in his stomach growing as he looked at her, riddled with even more anxiety and stress. It was about more than this guy touching her without her permission, it was knowing he did it on purpose to get some sort of reaction out of her. He dropped his hands to his side as he continued to think about it, curling them into fists.

"Nate," Mackenzie watched as his body tensed up. She was grateful to see his protective side flare up for her, but she could only assume what he was thinking about doing. "Don't do anything."

"Mack, I just want to go talk to him and remind him that he needs to keep his hands to himself."

"Nate," she repeated his name, now using her own arms to steady him. "You do not need to defend my honour with your fists."

He sighed. He knew she was right. But he was fighting off a very strong desire to go punch that guy in the face.

"It's okay, I'm okay," she spoke quietly, wrapping her arms around his lower back. Nate brought his arms up around her shoulders, locking her in closely.

"What if I want to defend your honour, Humphrey?" He leaned down and kissed her forehead. He could feel her breath slowing down to a normal pace.

"This is already making me feel a lot better." She pulled away slightly, leaning her head upwards to kiss his lips. "A combination of crowds, alcohol, sexual harassment - all bad for my anxiety, it turns out." She let out a dry laugh.

"Mack," he spoke her name at a low whisper, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes." She leaned back into his chest, as he rubbed his arms up and down her back.

"Hey, countdown is in a few minutes, we've got champagne upstairs," Eric popped his head out of the door and shouted at them down the sidewalk. He motioned for them to follow him. Nate leaned in to kiss her again. He grabbed Mackenzie's hand to lead her back inside, but she remained her in spot for a second. He gave her a quizzical look.

"Just trying to figure out how I can kiss you at midnight," she said to him, shrugging slightly.

"C'mon." He motioned his head and lead her back inside. He kept his hand in hers as they made their way through the crowd. Mackenzie pulled her hand away hesitantly as she followed him up the stairs into their private area. She stood near the outside of the group, leaning up against the balcony's edge.

Nate grabbed two glasses of champagne from the table and brought one over to her.

"Hey." He met her eyes and smiled. "Let's just pretend the rest of the world isn't here this very moment, okay." He lowered his empty hand and grabbed hers low, twisting his fingers with hers. He was desperate to touch her, remind her of his presence. He knew she was growing anxious again near the group. He also knew everyone else had enough to drink and was so absorbed in their own conversations, that his innocent hand holding would go undetected.

The music shut down quickly, with the large screen behind the stage quickly changing over to the iconic scene from Times Square - the ball drop being live streamed to the crowd.

_25, 24, 23, 22, 21…._

Nate squeezed her hand, watching Mackenzie as she watched the crowd below. He wasn't sure if she was still nervous or anxious.

_20, 19, 18, 17, 16…_

Mackenzie turned her head back towards Nate, catching him just as he was gazing at her. She took a step forward and leaned in to him, "Everyone is going to see you staring at me, Archibald."

"I don't care."

_15, 14, 13, 12, 11…_

Mackenzie turned to her side and put down her glass of champagne on a table nearby. She grabbed Nate's from his hand and left it on the table, too.

_10, 9, 8, 7, 6.._

She nervously looked behind her, but as predicted, the crowd upstairs in their private roped off area were all excitedly joining the countdown, watching the screen flash large numbers as the new year approached. But Nate was looking at her. Only her.

_5..4.._

Mackenzie closed off the space between her and Nate, her lips just inches away from his.  _I guess we're doing this._ Her heart was racing, racing, racing.

_3.. 2.. 1.._

Both Nate and Mackenzie bypassed joining the crowd in their loud Happy New Year cheer and skipped to the kiss. Nate's hands were firmly planted on her face, kissing her deeply. Mackenzie's hands landed on his back, pulling him as closely as she could. They stayed there in their embrace and didn't leave each other's lips. It was a combination of voices beside them and Auld Lang Syne being sung by the crowd below that caused them to break away from their kiss.

"What the fuck?"

"Ah! Mackenzie!? Nate!?"

"What are you two doing?"

"About time."

**xoxoxo**

_Well, the cat is out of the bag. So, what's next for Nate-enzie? How will the personal public react?_


	14. Chapter 14

Mackenzie and Nate turned towards the small group of curious faces staring at them. Nate wrapped his arm around her back, relieved to finally be able to display his affection in public. A smile broke across Mackenzie's face as she reached down and passed a champagne glass to Nate, then sipped on her own. Her heart was pounding out of her chest, but Nate's hand gently running up and down her back helped put her at ease.

"What is going on?" Dan broke their stunned silence, slipping his arm off of Serena's shoulder as he took a step towards his friend and sister. "Is this a joke?" His brow was furrowed, looking back and forth between the two.

"Dan," Nate said slowly, trying to read how he was going to react.

"Not a joke," Mackenzie said to her brother. "I warned that you might be meeting my new boyfriend tonight…" She trailed off, turning her head to smile at Nate.

"No." Dan shook his head at the both of them, throwing his arms up. "This is not happening."

"Dan," Serena put her hand on his shoulder and pulled him away, turning her head back towards Nate and Mackenzie to smile, giving them an apologetic shrug.

"So, you were the one hiding in my daughter's bedroom yesterday?" Rufus jumped in next, as Serena and Dan headed downstairs with Eric. His eyes didn't leave Nate. Mackenzie couldn't get a read of his mood, although his possessive dad vibe was already annoying her. She was using every ounce of energy she had to stop her eyes from rolling. "Is this real? You're not just going to use her like an-"

"Rufus," Nate started his reply, his voice stern but honest as he cut him off, "Mackenzie and I are both adults. I care for your daughter immensely. Quite frankly, we don't need your approval to date but I hope you can treat us both with enough respect to understand that I'm not  _using_ her for anything."

 _Damn, Archibald._ Mackenzie held in a breath and pursed her lips as she waited for her dad to respond.

They stood there for a few moments in silence. Rufus looked at them both, then offered a small smile. He sighed and extended his hand to Nate, "I'm sorry for being so quick to judge, Nate. Dan's going to give you more trouble than me, I'm sure." Nate shook his hand, smiling proudly. "And Mack, it's nice to see you with a smile on your face."

"Thanks, dad," Mackenzie let out her breath, stepping towards Rufus to let him embrace her in a hug. She couldn't remember the last time they hugged. She had to admit, it was nice.

"Please try not to leave any more marks on my daughter's body," Rufus said to Nate before finishing off the last of his champagne.

Mackenzie's face flushed at his comment, "Oh my god." She turned and buried herself in Nate's chest, as embarrassment swept over her. Nate laughed and hugged her tightly.

"I will leave as many marks on you as I want," he whispered into her ear, nibbling on it gently. She pulled away from him, leaving her hands on his chest.

"Don't get me all worked up now," she said to him, licking her lips slowly. He gave her a playful smirk in response, placing his hands on her hips. "Well, overall, positive response."

"Aside from your brother."

"He'll come around, I hope," she said quietly, wondering just where Dan had disappeared with Serena.

She turned her head to look around the space, noticing her dad sitting and talking with the band. Ryan was leering at her and Nate. She rolled her eyes in his direction, then turned back to her boyfriend, a feeling of unease creeping up. Nate followed as she looked around, and met her eyes again.

"Hey, I'm just gonna run to the washroom then how about we get out of here. Wanna walk back to the loft?"

Mackenzie nodded at him, letting out a breath. It's like he read her mind. "Let me just say bye to my dad, meet me downstairs at the door?" He leaned in and kissed her before heading downstairs.

She walked behind the couch where her dad was sitting with most of the band, and put her hand on his shoulder. "Nate's gonna walk me home." Rufus put his hand on hers and told her to be safe. She smiled, then waved to the band as she headed downstairs to find Nate.

She paused when she got to the bottom of the staircase, and took a few steps and stood to the side. She couldn't help but smile when she spotted Eric in the crowd, making out with some guy.  _Good for him._ She continued to scan the area to see if she could find Nate, then started to walk towards the door.

After she took a few steps, she felt someone grab onto her arm. She turned around and rolled her eyes when she realized it was Ryan. She tried to pull her arm from his grasp but he easily overpowered her.

He leaned in close as he held her there, "You know, I was going to apologize for my actions earlier but every time you roll your eyes at me, I get more turned on by you, sweetheart."

"Fuck. Off." She tried again to pull her arm away but he closed the distance between them, giving her hardly any room to flee. She could feel his hot breath on her face, a terrible scent of rum and cigarettes lingering.

"I don't mind a fight…"

She resisted rolling her eyes again, but she leaned in closer to him, then with all her might drove her knee upwards in between his legs.  _Bullseye._ He released her arm and took a few steps back wincing in pain, a new look of rage boiling over on his face. He started to lunge towards her but was stopped by a hand grabbing his shoulder and pulling him away.

Mackenzie was relieved to see that hand belonged to Nate.

"Keep your fucking hands to yourself, man," Nate spat at Ryan, turning around to face Mackenzie. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she said quickly, pointing behind him, "Nate!"

Nate turned his head and saw Ryan charging to swing at him. Nate leaned to the side the avoid his fist, causing Ryan to stumble, his punch connecting with the base of Mackenzie's jaw instead.

"Fuck," she hissed out, grasping her face.

Nate's eyes narrowed and he turned to Ryan. He felt anger rising in his chest, and outwards into his hands. Nate grabbed his shirt, punched him square in the jaw then pushed him to the ground, taking a few steps back as a bouncer came over to intervene. Nate put his arm around Mackenzie's shoulder, leading her towards the door and outside onto the sidewalk.

"Oh my god Mack, I'm so sorry. I should have just let him punch me." Nate was cradling her face with his hands, gently brushing his thumb against her jaw. She winced slightly, then brought her hands up to grab his.

"Nate, stop. Shh." She pulled his hands down and let him grab her waist. "Is your hand okay? Thank you for defending my honour after all."

He sighed and smiled at her, "You were defending yourself. I may have just made it worse."

"Well, the sentiment remains. He was stronger than me, aside from kneeing him I didn't have any other plans for escape. I've never had someone fight for me before."

"I swear I will  _always_  fight for you." His words made her feel like melting, despite the circumstances. She leaned in and kissed him, bringing her hands up to run through his hair.

Eric popped out the door next, meeting them outside on the sidewalk. "What just happened in there? I brought ice. I'm not sure who punched who." He handed a small plastic bag of ice to Nate, who grabbed it and brought it up to Mackenzie's jaw.

Eric opted to join them for the walk back to the loft. He had a hunch that's where Dan and Serena had run off to after the ball drop and was hoping to ride back to Manhattan with them.

Mackenzie held the ice to her face with one hand and held Nate's hand with the other. The trio walked quietly, listening to the city celebrating around them.

Eric broke the silence a few blocks into their walk, "I'm just going to say it.  _Aftershock's_ music sucks."

* * *

"Do you think they're here?" Mackenzie paused outside the loft, craning her neck upwards. The lights were still on.

"Probably," Eric glanced down at his phone, "Considering Serena just texted and asked when we were heading back."

"What's the big deal?" Nate threw his arm over Mackenzie and pulled her in. "I think we can handle Dan."

"You know, sometimes I really miss medicating my anxiety with weed," she said quietly, an apprehensive look crossing her face.

Nate was surprised by her comment but an excited smile crossed his face, "What? Are you serious? Well, I have a new date night idea to add to my list."

"Awww Archibald, you're planning a list of date nights for us?"

"Oh god, you two are nauseating. Let's go inside." Eric gave them a slight push, and they all headed upstairs.

When they walked inside the loft, Serena was sitting on the couch with Dan - he was lying down with his head resting in her lap. Mackenzie and Nate headed into the kitchen to get more ice for her chin. Eric headed towards the food table to see what was left over.

"Do you need an Advil or something?" Nate held his hand up to her chin before he applied the ice, taking a look in the bright lights. "This is definitely swelling."

Mackenzie sighed and took the ice from him, "I would love a drink instead." She gave him a small smile.

"What happened?" Serena asked from where she was sitting. She pushed Dan up off of her. He pulled himself off the couch and stood near the window, his arms crossed as he watched them across the room.

"Turns out Mr. Lead Singer doesn't take rejection well," Eric started to relay the story of what transpired just after midnight.

"You dodged the guy's fist and let it hit my sister instead?" Dan piped up after Eric finished, his eyes narrowing at Nate.

"I didn't do that on purpose. I was pissed, okay? First he put his hand up her skirt then grabbed her and wouldn't let her go. So I hit him back right after his punch got her instead. I've punched you before, Dan, you know it hurt." Nate matched Dan's tone, unwilling to cater to his childish reaction.

"Dan, stop. I have a name and this protective brother act is not a good look for you. Nate was keeping me from more harassment from that douche." Mackenzie rolled her eyes at her brother, taking the newly mixed drink from Nate. She leaned against the kitchen counter, ready to continue the argument with her. Nate poured his own drink and stood beside her, resting his arm around her back.

"No, I'm sorry, no. I can't with this." Dan took a few steps towards the kitchen island, his hands pointing out to where Nate and Mackenzie were standing. "I'm just getting these like, war flashbacks from when I saw you kissing Jenny and now here you are, playing with my other sister's emotions too and-"

"Dan, you know that's not what this is. That thing with Jenny was years ago. What happened in high school is not the same as what is happening now. And honestly I'm a little offended you would think that little of me."

"Well, your track record speaks for itself, Nate."

"Dan," Serena jumped up from the couch, "You sound like a lunatic."

"Serena, this is my sister! How am I supposed to react to my best friend dating  _my sister_  behind our backs for weeks?" Dan waved his arms around as he spoke, then ran his hands through his hair as he stopped before dropping his mouth open, aghast. "Oh my god, earlier you were implying how  _compatible_  you and your new girlfriend are. Like, sexually? You were referring to Mackenzie?!"

"Nate!" Mackenzie couldn't help but laugh at her brother's unwinding narrative, putting her drink down to swat her boyfriend on the chest. "I would prefer our sex life staying between us."

Serena left her raving boyfriend in the middle of the room and joined Eric who was picking at the snacks. "They're so cute together, actually. We should have thought of this ages ago."

"Not cute. Not cute." Dan dropped down onto a stool at the island, holding his head up with his hands.

"Dan, can you please just explain to me what is so wrong with the idea of Nate and I dating?" Mackenzie sighed, grabbing her drink again to sip as she watched Dan grapple with his thoughts. While she was amused by her brother's ranting, she was concerned he might actually be angry about this whole thing.

"Mack, Adam just dumped you-"

"Oh my god," she dropped her bag of ice and started to lunge towards her brother. Nate was quick to grab her shoulder and pull her back towards him. She took a deep breath and ran her hands through her hair, trying to maintain a steady heartbeat.

"Hey, as much as we would all be entertained by a Humphrey brawl, this is not the time," Nate said slowly, giving Dan a warning glance.

"My money is on Mackenzie," Eric muttered to his sister.

"Have some tact, Dan," Serena called out, elbowing Eric as she stifled a laugh.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Mack. Honestly. That was not fair." Dan paused. "What I meant to say was, it feels like you and Adam just broke up. Don't you think this is a bit too soon?" It was a question he probably should have asked privately but at this point, they were too far into this fight to do it alone.

Mackenzie took one more sip of her drink, then put it down on the counter behind her. She stepped away from Nate and leaned forward on the island, so she was facing Dan directly. She extended her hand out for him to grab.

"Dan, I love you and how much you worry about me. If I'm being honest, sure, yes, by any regular means this is a bit soon." She paused, trying to find the right words. She closed her eyes tightly as she continued. "But what I need you to understand is that last year, when I was laying on the floor with a bullet in my leg, all I could think about was how unfair life could be. How equally lucky and guilty I felt and still feel for surviving. And how I owe it to myself to just try and live my life. So I don't really care if this is too soon or if you approve or that it scares the shit out of me. This is the first time since last February that I've felt something comfortable and safe." She squeezed his hand as she opened her eyes to meet his.

Dan had not heard his sister speak this openly about her feelings… ever. He wasn't sure if it was his insane reaction or the alcohol stirring up this emotional explanation, but he was relieved to hear what she had to say. He sighed and looked up at Nate, who was just staring at Mackenzie with admiration.

Without replying to her, Dan stood up and walked around the island to pull her into a hug. He whispered his apologies into her ear as he squeezed her tightly. When he broke away, he took a step towards Nate, holding out his hand to shake his.

"Please don't hurt her."

Nate pulled his friend into a hug, relieved on some level to have his blessing.

* * *

It was past 2AM now. Dan, Serena and Eric were on their way home to the Upper East Side.

Nate was sitting on Mackenzie's bed, up against the headboard. He was just in his T-shirt, boxers and socks. Mackenzie was laying beside him on her stomach, having torn off all her clothes but her bra and leggings.

"I've never really noticed this one before," Nate reached over and traced his fingers along the tattoo between Mackenzie's shoulder blades.

"That's because every time I'm naked, or close to, we're frontside to frontside," she responded to him, smiling. After all the stress and drama of the evening, and the fear of their relationship becoming so real, the feeling of relief was incredible. Just being here, beside Nate, was enough.

"I like your frontside," he replied, smirking. "When did you get this one?" He pulled himself down on the bed so he was laying on his side facing towards her. He propped his head up with his left hand and traced his opposite fingers along her back.

The tattoo was small and round, built of delicate black lines. It depicted a quarter crest of the moon overlapping on a circle of the sun.

"I got it just before I left Australia, it's supposed to be a romantic reminder of my time there, I guess. I spent a lot of time in the sun, on the beach, warm, carefree. But the moon and night always came."

Nate continued to gently move his fingers along her back, just barely touching her skin. She shivered, involuntarily, at his touch, goosebumps appearing. Her breath picked up, an overwhelming warmth spreading through her body. Maybe it was the alcohol, but this moment, a combination of comfortable silence and Nate's touch was really awakening  _something_ in her. He unhooked her bra in a quick motion and rubbed his hand up and down her back.

"Did they hurt? The tattoos?"

"Mm hmm. Well, I suppose the pain tolerance is different for everyone but it's a needle jabbing your skin so, it hurts. It's kind of like a continuous annoying cat scratch. I think my next one will hurt more than the previous ones." She couldn't help but giggle as Nate leaned in, laying kisses up and down her back.

"What's the plan for the next one? Can I come with you whenever you get it?"

Mackenzie pushed herself up, doing her best to gracefully switch her position so she was laying on her back instead. She pulled her bra off, watching him smile at the sight of her exposed chest.

"It's silly but I want a compass rose right here." She grabbed his hand and placed it in the middle of her chest, just below her breasts. "Kind of geometric looking."

"Okay, I'm definitely accompanying you whenever that happens. You're gonna be topless and some dude will have his hands all over you?"

She propped herself up suddenly, removing his hand from her chest. "Yeah with gloves on and an electrical needle gun, it's more clinical than it is sexual. Plus, who said it's going to be some dude? I haven't even booked with anyone yet - I may end up having a female tattoo artist."

Nate tilted his head curiously at the thought, then nodding his head in approval. "That's a better option."

"Oh my god, you're such a male." She rolled her eyes at him, dropping her arms to lay back down.

Nate pushed himself up from his position and maneuvered his body to be on top of hers, straddling her thighs. He couldn't help but smile as he gazed down at her. She was cute, even with an annoyed look on her face.

"Stop staring at me with those dreamy eyes, I'm trying to be frustrated with your old fashioned attitude." She let out an over dramatic sigh then smiled up at him.

"Listen, I'm sorry, I'm still bothered by knowing that asshole had his hands all over you tonight. Forgive me for wanting to be the only person who gets to touch you." He crawled down on his arms to be parallel to her, kissing along her collarbone.

She closed her eyes, indulging in the moment. She wanted to remember every one of his kisses as they landed on her skin.

She could feel something inside her - something warm, something indescribable, something running through her veins. It was extreme, enticing, addicting. She was falling in love.

* * *

The life of a junior employee/intern at Bass Industries was not glamorous. It was only Mackenzie's third day and while she was grateful for the opportunity, she was beginning to fear the experience was not what she wanted.

She had just started Tuesday morning. She was warmly welcomed to the Finance department by her new direct manager, Lydia Prescott. She was in charge of Financial Planning for all of BI, and seemed grateful for the extra hands three days a week. Lydia wore her white blonde hair in a low bun and seemed very put together. She was nice, but Mackenzie could tell she took her job very seriously, reporting directly to Mitch and Chuck.

After a quick tour of the department, Mackenzie was shown her desk in an internal windowless office which she was sharing with two other young employees. She was also shown boxes of archived files that needed to be cross referenced with their digital counterparts.

And that was it. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Boxes on boxes on boxes of files to be reviewed and checked against their internal server backup. Mackenzie had a keen attention to detail and appreciated the task, if she was being honest. It was nice to put on headphones and work independently. It saved her anxiety from making much small talk with her officemates. She noticed they had different projects from other department heads which seemed more research based and she felt a pang of jealousy.

Lydia checked in with her on occasion but noted quickly she didn't need babysitting for the task.

Late Thursday afternoon, Mackenzie hit a mental wall. It was just after 4PM and she was looking forward to having drinks with Nate after work. Between adjusting to her office schedule and Nate being swept up with work, they hadn't seen each other since Monday. Mackenzie was trying hard to accept that they were both busy people working on their careers, but she was growing eager to see him. Nightly phone calls and exchanging photos were not going to suffice.

She stood up from her desk and stretched out her arms, deciding to venture out for some caffeine to help her through the rest of the day. Bass Industries did not skimp when it came to employee satisfaction - the break room on their floor was stocked with snacks and fresh fruit daily, and had a state of the art coffee machine and beer/wine fridge.

She slipped her feet back into her heels and pulled her blazer on. She straightened out her navy dress and headed out of the office. The break room was tucked into the front corner of their 18th floor office space, a small room lined with big glass windows and a few small tables. She grabbed a mug from the cupboard and fiddled with the coffee machine, preparing herself a double shot of espresso.

She sipped on the coffee and walked towards the far wall, taking a moment to gaze out the window. The sun was already beginning to set, the curse of winter. The city lights twinkled as snow fell gently down.

"I have to be honest, I would rather the 100 degrees of January in Australia to this wicked cold of the city."

Mackenzie turned to her right to see Mitch Watson had appeared beside her, a cup of coffee identical to her own in his hand. She gave him a polite smile. "At least in the summer on the coast you can jump into the ocean to cool down, the chill of winter in the city is hardly cured by hot coffees but it helps." She tipped her mug to him.

"So how's week one? I think Lydia was testing you with all those files."

Mackenzie wasn't sure how she should respond. Was blunt honesty the way to go? Or should she sugar coat it and sound grateful.

"Honestly, it hasn't been very exciting but I know that's how this sector of work can be. Monotonous." She shrugged slightly. She saw his eyes narrow for a moment. She wasn't sure the company's CFO spent a lot of time dawdling with junior staff or being kept in the loop on such petty job tasks.

Mitch Watson was an attractive male. Mackenzie would be lying if she didn't admit that. His hair was a short speckled blonde and was usually swept into some trendy position, his eyes bright blue but surrounded by lines, indicating an often furrowed brow and lots of laughter. He stood tall above her, lean but filling out his suit impeccably. He was carelessly handsome and she could only imagine that worked as an advantage for him. Not to mention his rugged accent and comfortable candor as he spoke.

"I assure you that won't be all that's on your plate the next few months. I think your eye for numbers will be helpful to me, and all of the department, Mackenzie." He nodded his head at her once more then excused himself, heading off to a meeting. She couldn't help but feel he was really looking at her when he left. More than just a casual glance, as if he was reading her face and body language. It didn't leave her feeling uncomfortable per se, but a bit confused.

The next couple of hours at her desk flew by, the espresso doing a perfect job of keeping her alert.

Just before 6, Chuck Bass himself appeared at the door to her office. Mackenzie's office mates had already left for the day.

"Miss Humphrey, do you have a minute?"

She nodded her head and he motioned his arm for her to follow him, as they walked back to his office. Mackenzie's mind was racing as she took a seat opposite Chuck. Did she do something wrong already? Does he know about her and Nate yet? Does he have an opinion on that and would he even bring it up?

"Mackenzie, I want you to know I tried to talk Lydia out of that asinine file review assignment she gave you this week but she was incessant it was a valuable starting point and a trust exercise."

"I really don't mind doing those sort of tasks."

"It's kind of you to try and gloss over it but you and I both know that was a waste of your brainpower."

Mackenzie paused before she responded. She let out a breath and leaned back in the chair. "I will admit it hasn't been the most stimulating work."

Chuck smiled at her, nodding. "I appreciate your honesty. Now, I want to ask you to move to work on something else. I know it's not exactly what you had in mind, but the Bass Foundation is still in its infancy and I need someone to do the accounting. We have a small team and a lot of donations coming in and out, and I need someone to carefully watch what's happening." He stopped what he was saying to get up and close the door. "If you recall when we went for lunch in December, I wanted your assistance with a project. This is it. The foundation is important to me but I don't have time to micromanage. I think something questionable is going on and I need your help. And discretion."

Mackenzie nodded, trying to wrap her head around what was being asked of her. Sure, she didn't know Chuck very well but the concern in his voice was very telling. This was important to him and he was concerned.

"What's your schedule like? You're required to have 24 hours of week for this internship?"

"Yes. Uhm, I have Mondays off currently, then I'm here Tuesday to Thursday. Friday I have class."

"Would you be willing to increase your time? Say start working Mondays as well. All time will be paid, of course."

She bit her lip, "I'll concede to adding on half days Monday. I don't want to fall behind on my actual class assignments. If that works for you."

Chuck nodded, "Yes, that's fine. Gaining those few letters after your name is important."

Mackenzie laughed at his response, then sobered up for a minute, "Can I ask why you want me on this project? You hardly know me and it seems like a lot of trust you're willing to put in a stranger."

"To be honest, it is a risk I'm willing to take. I've known the Humphreys to have good moral and ethical judgment. Do the right thing and all that. Mainly. I also know you've witnessed the poison of this world first hand and seem to be wanting to better yourself, instead of cursing the darkness." She nodded at him. That was the only explanation she was going to get, she was sure.

"Plus, I know Nathaniel has spoken quite fondly of you. He's been taking every opportunity to talk about you and how great you are. It's incredibly annoying."

Mackenzie could feel her face turning red at his last comment. She shouldn't be surprised Nate talked about her to Chuck but hearing him mention it out loud was jarring. Chuck laughed at her reaction and headed to the side of his office where a bar cart was sitting. "Drink?"

She nodded, "Sure." She was still waiting to hear from Nate to see where they'd be meeting, so one drink with the boss seemed harmless.

Chuck handed her a glass with about an inch of the bronze coloured liquid, "I just want to restate my desire for discretion with you, Mackenzie. I have no interest in putting you in any unlawful position but this may toe the line. If you don't want to participate, let me know now."

She took a sip from the glass, letting his words sit with her. He was right about one thing - Mackenzie had experienced something terrible and she was hoping her work in the future could make a difference. Helping out with the Bass Foundation was a good place to start, even if it meant cleaning up some illicit mess first. "I'm on board. I'll do what I can to help, my lips are sealed." She raised her glass to him.

They chatted for a few moments, Chuck politely asking how her holidays were. He even went as far as showing her a photo of Henry playing with a new wooden train set on Christmas morning. They were interrupted by a knock at the door.

Chuck authorized their entry and the door swung open, revealing Nate standing with a bouquet of flowers. Mackenzie beamed at the sight of him, tired eyes from a long day but a warm smile on his face.

"Nathaniel, flowers for me? You shouldn't have," Chuck smirked at his friend, leaning back in his chair.

Nate walked towards them, rolling his eyes, "Actually, these flowers are for my girlfriend to celebrate her first week." He handed the flowers to Mackenzie as she stood up to greet him. "Chuck, have you met my girlfriend Mackenzie?"

"Stop it," Mackenzie swatted him gently on the arm, leaning in to kiss him.

"Let it be known Blair and I both predicted this," Chuck motioned at the two of them, "Actually, I think I won the bet."

"The bet?" Nate gave Chuck an annoyed glance.

"She said you two would be together by Valentine's Day, I said New Years."

"So, what did you bet?" Mackenzie asked, taking another sip of her drink then handing it off to Nate to finish.

"If I tell you, you may not be able to look me in the eye." Chuck smirked, suddenly caught in a daydream about his wife.

"Please say no more." Nate laughed, finishing off the liquid in the crystal glass. He turned to Chuck, "We're going for a drink, you want to join?"

Chuck shook his head and waved them off, "No, no. You lovebirds go ahead."

Nate threw his arm around Mackenzie's shoulder as they headed out the door, smiling as she looked in awe of the floral bouquet.

"I'll see you Monday, Miss Humphrey."

**xoxoxo**

_Well, folks, what's next for this new power couple? Mainly just office life, new work relationships and sleepovers. I hear there's a snowstorm coming, and a great opportunity for Mackenzie..._


	15. Chapter 15

Two weeks later, Mackenzie was making friends at work. Well, more specifically she had at least befriended her office mates enough to talk to them during the day and even go for lunch. Learning more about other people working in the department made her feel better about her own path in finance.

Vivienne Kane, or Viv, was a new graduate from Yale and was hoping to be a chartered accountant in the future. She was loud and quick witted, and not one to hold back on her honesty. Mackenzie quickly learned this week she was fresh off a broken engagement and was working desperately to bury her head in work to be more successful than her former fiancé. She preferred dress pants to skirts and her heels towered over Mackenzie every day, but she was a good confidant and was always down to rant.

Drew Cabot was a recent hire and considered a jack of all trades in the Finance department at BI. Or as he self proclaimed 'the money bitch' - he spent most days sending nagging emails to department heads, in charge of tracking expense reports and curbing unapproved spending. He was classically handsome and knew it - most mornings he regaled Mackenzie and Viv about his previous night's conquests, dating up and down the financial district.

Mackenzie's workload was entirely full of work for the Bass Foundation now. She reconciled bills, talked to donors and was now assisting with event planning for their next gala. The foundation worked with many charities around the city - each year the focus shifted to different causes to support. The current fiscal year was directed at local charities that helped with teen mental health resources and their big fundraising gala was approaching at the beginning of March.

Mackenzie and Nate still had yet to iron out a routine. Nate's schedule was proving difficult to work around most nights and Mackenzie was often disappointed in their lack of time together. They messaged throughout the day usually and squeezed in late dinners every few nights, but she was adjusting to the potential new normal and she wasn't liking it.

Just around lunch Thursday, Nate called her.

"Hi."

"Hey you. I'm determined to leave the office before six today. How do you feel about coming over for pad Thai?"

"Depends on where you're ordering from. Thai Kitchen or nothing."

She could hear him laughing on the other end, "If that's what the lady wants, that's what she gets."

"Interesting. There's a few other things I want tonight too."

"Oh yeah, do tell."

"They're too inappropriate to describe over the phone around other people," Mackenzie said quietly, doing her best to turn away from the other people in the office.

"Well, if you ask politely I'm sure you can get  _anything_ you want tonight. Twice over."

"I'll hold you to that, Archibald."

"I'll come pick you up after work. Six o'clock."

Mackenzie did her best to contain her excitement as she worked for the rest of the afternoon. They hadn't seen each other in a few days and she was longing for some sort of touch from him.

Around 5 o'clock Drew drummed his hands on the top of his desk, spinning around in his chair. "Happy hour, ladies?"

"Yes, please," Viv responded to him, leaning back in her chair. "These spreadsheets will be the death of me." As the pair shut down their computers for the day, Mackenzie continued on with her work.

"I'll have to pass today," she tilted her head to smile at them as she replied.

"That smile means the handsome boyfriend is in her near future," Viv laughed, putting her arm on Drew's, "So, we are not worthy."

"Oh, have fun Mackenzie," Drew winked at her as they passed by her and exited the office.

Mackenzie smiled to herself and rolled her eyes, grabbing her phone to text Nate.

' _Still on track for six o'clock?'_

She continued to work, diving into a logistics plan and budget for the upcoming fundraising gala. It was just past six when she looked at her phone again, seeing no response from Nate. She frowned and messaged him again.

' _I'm heading downstairs to wait :)'_

She wrapped up her work, saved her files and quickly changed into her lace up boots and down coat. She was growing disappointed in Nate's lack of response. He was likely caught up with work or stuck in a meeting, or his phone died. But she was hoping he would be downstairs with John soon.

She waited in the lobby, keeping her eyes peeled for the car to appear. She checked her phone again and tried to call him. No answer. Her disappointment and annoyance were quickly growing to concern and fear. Did something happen? Should she just head home? Was he upset with her? Was there some sort of emergency? As her brain continued to run through likely and unlikely scenarios, her phone finally rang. Except the caller was not Nate, but Chuck.

"Chuck, hello?"

"Mackenzie, I don't want to give you any cause for alarm but I thought it would be better to tell you this before you heard the news. The building where The Spectator resides is in lock down due to a bomb threat."

"Oh my god, are you serious?" Mackenzie's breath picked up as she began to pace in the lobby.

"Yes, unfortunately. I was just in the district for a meeting and there are camera crews and emergency vehicles all over the place. Ironically all the news outlets but The Spectator are reporting on it. The NYPD are trying to block all the cell signals in the area."

Mackenzie didn't respond. This was not one of the scenarios that crossed her mind and the uncertainty made her heart rate increase rapidly. What was she supposed to do now? Just wait? What if there was a real bomb? What if Nate was in trouble? What if something happened to him? What if-

"Mackenzie." Her attention was brought back to Chuck on the phone. "I'm sure Nathaniel is fine. It sounds like they're just working on a safe evacuation plan to get everyone out of the building. I would encourage you not to worry."

"Yeah. Sure."  _It's not that easy._

"If I hear anything I will let you know."

After hanging up Mackenzie started to rummage around in her bag, looking for her wallet. Maybe she could just get on the subway and zip over to Nate's apartment and wait for him there. She swore when she realized she must have left it upstairs. She travelled up the elevator and hurried back to her office.

The whole floor was mainly quiet, most people seemed to have left for the day, save for a few of the department managers. Mackenzie dropped down onto her chair, shrugging off her coat, and grabbed her wallet that was hiding behind her keyboard, tossing it into her bag.

She ignored a few texts from Dan and started scrolling through Twitter, watching for updates on what was happening down in the financial district. One suspicious object found in the basement of a building, another found in the bathroom of the building where The Spectator was...The rest of the block had been evacuated. Staff were sequestered to the top floor. The buildings were on lockdown as the bomb squad continued to investigate…

Mackenzie gulped as her breath began to pick up. An enormous sense of fear swelled in her chest.

"Fuck." This was not the time for a panic attack but her body had other plans. Her vision started to blur as her chest heaved up and down, hyperventilating.

She tried to sit forward in her chair, dropping her phone as she grasped onto her desk.  _C'mon Mackenzie, fight through this._ It was a losing battle.

Her chest tightened painfully. She knew she wasn't dying. She knew she would survive. But in these moments of utter panic, everything felt menial. Nothing mattered.

Tears streamed from her eyes as her body convulsed. Her brain rushed through visions of darkness, thoughts of Nate in danger, images of buildings collapsing. She could hear her phone ringing now but everything suddenly felt very far away. She did her best to control her breathing and forced herself up from the chair, desperate to escape her windowless office. As soon as she stood her lungs seemed to lose all their capacity, causing her breathing to rapidly increase even more.

She needed help. She needed water. She needed something, someone,  _anyone._

She took a few steps then collapsed to her knees, wrapping her arms tightly around her chest. Her brain was pulsing with terror as she sat there, minute after minute passing by in personal chaos.

She suddenly heard someone's voice as they stopped in front of the office, hurrying over to her aide. She squeezed her eyes tightly as she felt the strangers arms press weight into her shoulders. The pressure on her was an immediate relief and comfort. Her breath began to slow down. Maybe she was over the worst of it.

"Whoa, whoa, just breathe Mackenzie, slow. You're okay." She did just as the voice said, slowing down her breaths. As the moments passed, the tight feeling in her chest was disappearing. She opened her eyes to the bright lights of the hallway, just outside her office. She looked down at her trembling hands and clasped them together.

"I'm sorry for jumping in to assist without asking, love."

Mackenzie turned her head around to see Mitch standing behind her, releasing his hands from her shoulder. He had a sympathetic smile on his face. He stood up straight and walked to stand in front of her, extending his hand to help her up.

"I, uh…" she trailed off, rubbing her face with her hand.

"My roommate in uni used to get panic attacks. I learned that pressure point trick to help him out."

Mackenzie swallowed and smiled at him weakly, "Thank you. It just came out of nowhere."

"As they usually do." He offered her a warm glance. "Although I'm glad I walked by or you may have hit your head if you collapsed further. Just sit, let me grab you some water." He motioned to her chair then left the room.

She sat there quietly, continuing to inhale and exhale in a controlled manner. The next feeling that swept over her was a sense of shame, an unstoppable force making her stomach drop. It's one thing to suffer through a panic attack in the safety of her own home but having someone find her in the middle of it was just embarrassing. She glanced at the clock on the wall. Nearly seven. It didn't feel like all that time had passed.

Mitch came back a few minutes later, a bottle of water in one hand and a small paper cup of tea in the other. He extended them both to her. She took the bottle and he placed the tea down on her desk. She expected him to leave after she thanked him, but he grabbed a nearby desk chair and rolled it towards her and sat.

"You don't have to stay," she said quietly, taking a drink of water.

"Just want to make sure you don't pass out," he gave her a knowing glance. "These things can really knock the wind out of a person."

She nodded, already feeling exhausted after the episode, "Well, thanks again." She put the water down and grabbed the warm tea again.

"I went with chamomile."

"Usually my first choice too," she smiled at him.

"So, I take it this isn't your first panic attack?"

Typically Mackenzie wouldn't take the time to talk to people about this, especially right after it happened. But in the moment, his voice was soft and welcoming.

"I've dealt with anxiety since I was ten or so. It escalated into panic attacks when I was a teenager, but they were pretty rare." She paused. Despite the comfort of his presence, she didn't want to go into much more detail. "I went through some shit last year which has kind of welcomed them in at a more frequent pace, unfortunately. Sometimes I black out through the whole thing, that's when I know it's bad."

He reached out and put his hand on her shoulder, "Well, if you ever need a safe place to escape, my office door is always open." She smiled at the gesture, although she wasn't sure how to feel about his touch. Sure, she was grateful he found her and helped her through what had just happened but his hand on her left her uneasy. It was a sudden reminder she was alone in her office with him.

Luckily her phone started to buzz which distracted them both from what was happening.

"Oh!" She stood up from her chair and walked over to where her phone had landed on the ground. She had a missed call from Chuck, and a few messages and a phone call from Nate. She grabbed it and answered.

"Nate! What's going on? Where are you? What happened?"

"Hey, hey, slow down. Everything is okay. Not a real bomb, thankfully. They finally got us out of there. I'm just a few blocks away, are you still at the office?" Mackenzie sighed at the sound of his voice, her whole body relaxing.

"Yes, I'm just packing up now. I'll be downstairs in a few minutes."

After she hung up, she turned to see Mitch standing at the door, staring at her.

"Thanks again for, uh, being here, Mitch," she expressed to him, putting her coat back on and grabbing her bag. He smiled at her, moving out of the way to let her exit. She hurried down the hall, turning around again to see him standing there still, watching her. She gave him a small wave before getting in the elevator.

By the time Mackenzie was stepping outside the building, Nate's car was parked waiting. John smiled as he saw her approach and opened the door for her to get in. She slid onto the seat beside Nate, who smiled at her but had his phone to his ear.

Mackenzie just watched as he talked, grateful to just be with him.

"Mom, like I already said, it wasn't a bomb. Yes, there was a threat called in but it was not authentic. I don't care what Margarite is telling you." Mackenzie couldn't help but smile listening to his side of the conversation. She had yet to meet Nate's parents, in fact the idea of meeting them scared her. But she was happy he had a close relationship with them.

"Okay, okay. But again, you need to stop believing everything you read online, Mom. One second." He paused and pulled his phone away, leaning over to kiss Mackenzie. He showed her his index finger to indicate he needed just another minute. "John, just one stop on 72nd before home." He dropped his right hand onto Mackenzie's knee as he finished up his call. "Listen, I've gotta go. Brunch on Sunday?" Pause. "Maybe, I have to ask her about it. She's right beside me actually." Pause. "Okay, love you, too."

He slid his phone into the pocket of his coat then extended his arm over Mackenzie's shoulder, prompting her to lean in beside him.

"Hi," she said quietly, as he placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"Sorry about the delay," he laughed, "That was not how I expected to end the work day."

"Well, it was out of your control, I'm just glad you're here unscathed."

He looked down at her, content. Despite the chaotic last few hours of his day, this was a moment he had been waiting for. If only every day could wrap up like this.

"You've been crying.." Nate moved his left hand to her chin, gently turning her head towards him.

She sighed. It was impressive how he had learned to read her like a book, but at times it was annoying.

"Full disclosure, I may have had a panic attack."

"What? When? Are you okay?"

"Yes, now. It just came out of nowhere after Chuck called to tell me about the bomb threat. It was short lived, thankfully."

"Well, I'm glad you're okay. I mean, I've never had one so I'm a bit clueless on what happens to you or how it works but I don't know, Mack, you shouldn't have to suffer through this. Have you thought about finding a therapist or something?"

"Of course I have. I think I do pretty well handling it on my own, though." She didn't mean to sound defensive, especially when Nate was just showing he cared. "I mean, luckily I wasn't actually alone this time."

Mackenzie was wrestling over the situation. Should she tell Nate about how Mitch was there to help? She had nothing to hide or worry about, but after Nate's reaction to Ryan she was hesitant. When Rufus called after New Years, Nate tore the phone from her to give him his thoughts on what happened and what should happen next to the lead singer, beyond the black eye. But in this situation, she knew she shouldn't withhold harmless information.

"Mitch appeared outside my office and helped me get through it."

Nate bit his tongue before reacting impulsively. He should be grateful someone was there to support her, but he would have preferred someone other than the single, handsome, Australian. He just nodded his head and pulled her closer.

"I will respect your stubborn attitude right now. But if these start happening more, I think we need to find you someone to talk to."

Mackenzie smiled at his choice of words.  _We._ They'll do it together, as a team.

* * *

Between the panic attack, late dinner, hot tub and aggressive post hot tub shower sex, it wasn't hard to fall asleep in Nate's arms. Mackenzie was exhausted. The only problem was that she had no intention to stay the night this particular Thursday. Not when she had an early Friday morning class and all her school stuff, laptop included, was still at the loft.

Mackenzie's eyes opened slowly when she woke up a few hours past midnight. She was nestled up into Nate's shoulder, his arms wrapped around her.

"Naaaate, I told you not to let me fall asleep." She pushed herself up from her warm, comfortable position and reached for her phone on the side table.  _2:27 AM._

She let out a low groan. She had no clothes on and was safely tucked under the comforter. Before she could escape the bed, Nate pulled her back down, kissing wherever he could in his sleepy state. "Just stay. John can drive you to the loft in the morning on my way to the office, then up to campus after. It's fine."

"Nate, my lecture starts at 8:30! We would have to leave at like six with all that traffic and"

"Then we leave at six! If you go home now you're going to have a rotten sleep then have to get up early to get on the subway and it's so cold out and it's so warm with you right here beside me." His mouth continued to kiss her as he pulled her closer, sending electricity across her skin. "Just stay."

She sighed. All his points were perfectly valid. She just hated to feel like she was inconveniencing him.

"Nate, I don't like you changing your life schedule for me." She pulled away from him and laid on her back, letting out a slow breath.

"Mack," he continued to lay kisses down her neck as he turned to her, "This is what happens when you start dating someone. Things change. It's not a bad thing."

"I don't want you to resent me for -"

"Mackenzie." He paused his actions to look at her in the dull moonlight streaming through the far window, "I'm not going to resent you for anything, especially not waking up early on a Friday." He propped his head up with one hand, reaching the other over to touch her face. "Maybe you should just stay here Thursday nights from now on. Then you'll be so much closer to Columbia to get to class."

"I don't want to impose."

Nate rolled his eyes and leaned in to kiss her. He would soon enough invite her to sleep over every night, although their schedules weren't always favourable. But he just wanted her around all the time. He wanted to catch the scent of her shampoo in the bathroom, find her shoes in disarray at the door. He just wanted to see her content, sitting and working, smiling and laughing. He continued to kiss her, as she let out a barely audible moan.

"I suppose we should just sleep," he whispered as he parted from her lips, shifting his body weight over top of hers under the blankets.

"I mean since you won't let me leave and we're both awake now, I'm pretty sure earlier you said I can have what I want  _twice_  if I ask politely," she said quietly, losing her breath as she felt the heat of Nate's body on top of her own. They had both fallen asleep without clothes on after their earlier romp. She could feel all of him on top of her, his erection pushing against her. How he was so ready to go despite just waking up was lost on her but she was just as ready to be  _close_  to him again.

She could feel tingles in every inch of her body as he continued to lay kisses down her body. He moved from her lips, to her neck, nibbling her earlobe. His tongue swept along her chest, dividing his time between each nipple as he bit, pinched and licked.

She reached her hands to grab his shoulders as he teased her, digging in her nails as she moaned.

"I don't remember you asking for anything, actually," he said to her suddenly. He halted his actions and crawled back up, propping himself above her. She could see him smirking in the moonlight.

"Nate, please," she whispered to him, rubbing her hands over his chest and gripping onto his forearms as he waited. She loved his bouts of authority when they were playing like this. It was a stark difference to his romantic day to day self and she loved relinquishing control to him. The worst part is he loved to tease her just as much.

He rested on his knees between her legs, gently moving one hand down her body as he gripped himself in the other. He was dying to go but he paced himself, watching her below him waiting.

"If you ask politely, you'll get exactly what you want." As his hand reached her waist, he moved his fingers along her wet entranced slowly. He let his index finger circle around her, immediately causing her legs to stiffen and eyes to squeeze shut. She moaned out his name as her breath picked up.

"Mackenzie, look at me and ask." She opened her eyes and saw him smiling at her. It was playful, challenging. "Tell me what you want."

She bit her lip, "I want you inside me." She looked from him down to where his hand was occupied, stroking himself.

"Like this?" He dipped his fingers inside her now, using his thumb to massage her centre.

"Yes, but…." She felt herself building up to his touch, quickly. She breathed in and out, moving her hands to grab her breasts. Nate smiled as she was coming undone.

"I want you inside me. Now. Please. All of you.  _You."_

Nate pulled his fingers from inside her, quickly returning to his position on top of her. He positioned himself at her entrance and pushed himself in, leaning down to bite on her neck. "I like how you say please."

"Please shut up and fuck me." She pressed into him, biting on his lower lip. She could only take so much of his sexual prowess until her need to feel him overtook her interest in the teasing.

It was in these moments of intimacy that Mackenzie felt especially close to Nate. Not just because it was impossible to feel any  _closer_ but because it was real. Their bodies often hit a perfect rhythm, fitting together like two puzzle pieces. Maybe he was just really good at what he was doing, but he read every cue and indulged her in ways she didn't realize she wanted.

She wrapped her arms around him as he moved in and out of her, keeping his chest on top of hers. How she loved to feel his weight on her, like a shield.

"Yes, Nate, please…" The words escaped her mouth in broken pieces, finding it more and more difficult to focus as he continued to hit her in the perfect spot.

"Mack." He pushed himself slightly above her, looking down to watch as the pleasure waved over her. He loved how he made her feel. He loved how she made him feel. Her insides pulsed around him as she wound up. "Just let go."

She did just as he said. Her legs shook as her orgasm rushed over every inch of her. She clamped onto Nate's biceps with her hands as his speed increased for a moment, smiling down at her. He let out a guttural growl as he finished, pushing into her for a final time. His lips landed on hers, their mouths desperate as he rested on top of her.

Mackenzie's breath returned to a normal pace a few minutes later, stretching out her legs under the cover as Nate slipped out of bed. Maybe staying the night wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

"All I'm saying is  _Groundhog Day_ is the superior Bill Murray movie of the 80s & 90s era. Not his best work ever, that's up for debate. You won't be able to change my mind."

"She'll die on that hill, Nate."

Nate, Mackenzie, Dan and Serena were all at Nate's apartment on Friday night. This sudden double date had been suggested by Dan, much to Mackenzie's shock. Dan was trying to be more receptive to his sister's relationship so he figured a casual night in would be a good place to start. Opting to just hang out at someone's apartment was not always the norm for the foursome of young New Yorkers but in the dead of winter, it was the easiest choice.

"Murray is a comedian by trade. Have you ever seen  _What about Bob?_ It's one of the funniest movies of all time."

Mackenzie placed her hand on Nate's knee, using it to push herself off her seat on the couch beside him, "We're going to have to agree to disagree."

"Is this a deal breaker for you, Humphrey?" Nate shot back at her, smiling as he leaned back against the couch.

Mackenzie walked into the small kitchen area where Serena was refilling her wine glass.

"So, how goes the gala planning?" Serena asked, leaning against the counter while Mackenzie filled her own glass.

Mackenzie sighed, "I'm just glad I'm coming in at the end of it. The Foundation team is not the strongest, but at least they're sticking to a budget now. It works out well for both of us their venue fell through."

"Well, the sculpture gallery is our finest location," Serena smiled, her eyes lighting up.

"I'm just grateful The Met reduced the donation rate to partner with us," Mackenzie replied. Mackenzie was also grateful to her brother's girlfriend who now worked at the biggest museum in the city and could help her so much with piecing things together.

"Plus, now we both get to go dress shopping for the big gala," Serena hooked her arms in Mackenzie's briefly as they walked back over to the living room. Dan was planted on the floor, flipping through Nate's small collection of DVDs, trying to pick out something the whole crowd may want to watch.

Before returning to her seat beside Nate, Mackenzie lingered at the patio doors, glancing outside.

"Uhm, how much snow are we supposed to get tonight?"

"Last I checked, it wasn't much, maybe a few inches. Why?" Dan turned his attention from the DVDs to his sister, following her eyes to look out the window. A bluster of snow was reducing any visibility of the buildings nearby, and glancing down to the patio, a fresh foot of snow was already forming.

Nate stood up and walked over to look out, as well as Serena.

"That is more than a few inches," Nate peered out. He glanced over at Mackenzie, who gave him a sympathetic smile but they were both thinking the same thing: Serena and Dan were probably staying the night.

"We are not going outside in this weather, Dan," Serena stated, as if she was reading their thoughts. "Good thing you have a two bedroom, Nate." She winked at her friend, pulling her sweater across her body tightly.

"Are we still doing the movie thing or?" Dan was still flipping through the DVDs, hardly bothered by the weather situation. Nate glanced around the room, an idea jumping into his mind.

"I have an idea," he said excitedly, a smile crossing his face. He excused himself from the living room for a second and hurried down the hall. Mackenzie dropped onto the couch beside Serena, taking a sip of her wine. They had ordered in plenty of food earlier, and Mackenzie had convinced Nate to grab bagels earlier for breakfast. Of course, she thought it would be just her and Nate lounging around the apartment enjoying Saturday morning bagels and coffee together, but at least they wouldn't starve.

It had been a long day, waking up early to race back to Brooklyn then to class. Her lecture had been pretty interesting, at least. Her Friday morning class was  _Essentials of International Corporate Finance_  and the content was vast and thorough, giving Mackenzie a real world taste of how global corporations operate. After class, she had gone to the gym, visited Nate at his office then returned home to nap.

She had made her way to Nate's after he was done work and Dan and Serena showed up later in the evening. Now, here they were, trying to weigh their entertainment options between a Dan Humphrey movie pick or maybe some sort of card game.

Nate appeared back in the living room a few moments later, a small jar in his hands. He stopped in front of his friends and popped the jar open, pulling out a small baggie with a few joints in it.

"I acquired these for something else," he gave Mackenzie a playful smile, "but this seems as good a time as any. I mean, if anyone wants to indulge."

Mackenzie, Serena and Dan glanced at each other.

Mackenzie shrugged, "It's been a while but I'm in." Although disappointed this wasn't something she and Nate would be doing alone -  _it was on his list of date nights, after all_ \- it seemed like a fitting way to end a stressful few weeks starting a new relationship, semester and job all at the same time.

Serena stood up and smiled, too,"Same! But, since we're locked in for the night-"

"Why not?" Dan finished off her sentence, giving up on the DVDs.

Nate was a seasoned expert on getting high, although he didn't do it very often anymore, if ever. He spent a lot of time getting high with Chuck in high school - before school, between classes, parties on the weekend. While it wasn't a radical thing - marijuana was on it's path to being legal in some states, even - he knew it wasn't the most productive way to spend his time anymore as he grew into a more productive member of society.

Ten minutes later, all four of them were hot-boxing Nate's guest bathroom. Mackenzie was sitting on the bathroom counter as Nate stood between her legs, passing a joint from one another. Serena was sitting on the toilet seat with her legs extended out over Dan's knees, as he sat at the edge of the tub, sharing another.

Mackenzie hadn't smoked in a while. During her first year of college, she drank and smoked more than she wanted to admit. She barely passed that year. There was a time, as a freshman, that she relied on things like weed and alcohol to escape from her anxiety and worries. And sometimes it helped. Other times, it just added to the chaos in her mind. She hadn't smoked since last spring when she had visited a few grad parties with Adam.

Now, as she began to giggle in front of Nate as he nearly burned his fingers on the end of the joint, she was really hoping this green leaf would ease her mind.

Nate laughed along with her, running his fingers under the sink. He leaned in and kissed her, matching smiles on both of their faces.

Serena and Mackenzie both wound up laying on Nate's living room floor, making a large pile of pillows to rest their heads on. Nate was leaning on his kitchen counter, sipping on a glass of whisky while Dan rummaged through some leftovers in the fridge.

"Has your sister ever mentioned moving to London?" Nate squinted his eyes at Dan, watching him open up a jar of salsa.

"Dude, my sister lives in London," Dan shook his head at Nate, a confused look on his face. He paused for a moment, then laughed at his own answer. "Oh. Mack. Mackenzie?"

Mackenzie's head shot up from where she was laying, pausing her conversation with Serena, "Are you two talking about me?" She pointed at them both. "Rude."

"Mack, if they're talking about you, you're doing something right," Serena pulled her arm down and held her hand. "Ignore the men."

Nate watched the two break into giggles on his living room floor and he smiled. He turned back to Dan, "I saw some letters at the loft. From the London School of Business."

Dan leaned beside his friend, "Did you ask her about it?" He motioned his hand to Nate, as if this was the most obvious thing.

Nate sighed. No, he hadn't asked Mackenzie about it. Of course he didn't ask. He had only been dating Mackenzie officially for a few weeks, unofficially for a month more than that. He knew it wasn't his place to pounce and ask about what her plans were when she was done at Columbia. But the idea of her moving across the ocean was not something he even thought about.

"I can't dictate her life and choices, man," Nate finally muttered out a response to his friend.

"Of course you can't, but you can ask her a question, ponder the future, all that beautiful garbage." Dan turned to face Nate, who was turned and looking at Mackenzie and Serena across the apartment. "God, you really like her, don't you? Your eyes are like, full of sugar."

Nate nodded his head and turned to face the living room, Dan followed and stood beside him, holding a jar of salsa in one hand and a bag of tortilla chips in the other.

"Dude, she's like… to me, like this," Nate paused, running his hand through his hair, he felt nonsensical, "Like a beam of light, shot straight into my heart. Like, a shimmering sunflower."

"Mack! Nate thinks you are a shimmering sunflower!"

"Dude," Nate laughed and his face flushed, hitting Dan on the shoulder.

Mackenzie sat up again and looked over towards the boys. Nate laughing, trying to hide his face behind his hands. She couldn't help the warmth moving up her body, a smile crossing her face, speechless to his words and reactions to Dan's teasing.

Serena shot up too, looking to and from the boys then back to Mackenzie. She leaned in to Mackenzie to whisper in her ear, "Mackenzie Humphrey, that boy loves you."

**xoxoxox**

_Well readers, nothing beats a bit of sleepy sex and getting high with your friends! Next up, a chance dinner date leads to an unlikely double date. Nate asks for some details Mackenzie is not sure she is ready to share...and what's that? A work trip for Miss Humphrey? With Mitch Watson?_


	16. Chapter 16

It was Monday morning and Nate was late. This was out of character for him, but as it turns out getting high Friday night threw off his entire sleep schedule for the rest of the weekend.

Monday's weren't always as chaotic in his office but he was used to his morning routine and he was waiting for a police officer to drop by that morning to discuss the bomb threat situation.

Just as he was hurrying into the building's door, he ran into Amelia. Of all people to see giving him an evil eye Monday morning outside the office, he didn't think it would be her. He knew she still had hard feelings about how he cut things off with her at the end of November.

"Amelia, hey, how are you?" He thought being polite would be the best route.

She swallowed hard before she replied, "I'm fine."

He figured that would be where their exchange ended and he was grateful. As he nodded and took a step forward, she continued.

"I'll have you know I just started seeing Jake."

Nate scanned his brain for a moment to figure out who Jake was. "Oh. My IT guy?"

"Yes. We met at the holiday party. I hope that doesn't bother you."

Nate paused to look at the blonde standing in front of him. Who she dated didn't make a lick of difference in his life. He felt like she was just baiting him for a reaction.

"Well, I'm happy for you. I'm late for a meeting, I'll see you around." He gave her a small smile before heading further into the building.  _That was weird._

Nate spent most of his morning checking in on his journalists, reviewing ad revenue with his accounts department and finally working on his next column. Just before lunch he got a phone call from Mackenzie.

"Hey," he took a pause and leaned back in his chair. "How's your morning?"

"Hi, good," Mackenzie responded. There was a small silence. "Are you free for lunch or something soon? There's something I need to talk to you about."

Nate leaned forward on his desk, curious about her worried tone, "Of course. I've got some flexible time for the next few hours, I think - are you okay?"

"Yeah." Another pause. "It's not a crisis I just, I need some help."

There was a sudden knock at the door. Nate looked up to see Marie poking her head in. "Sorry to interrupt, Officer Mulroney is back to talk with you."

"Mack, I've gotta go. I'll see you soon." He hung up his phone quickly, standing as the police officer stepped into his office, shutting the door behind.

Mackenzie glanced down at her phone, annoyed that Nate had hung up on her so abruptly.

A message from Nate flashed across her screen: ' _Sorry I had to cut you off! I'll explain when you get here.'_

She sighed when she saw her phone ringing  _again._ It was nonstop that morning. She was getting repetitive calls from someone at the New York Post from a private number.

As she packed up her things to leave, Mackenzie began to worry. Last year after the shooting, she was grateful to have flown under the radar with the media. Admittedly, her story wasn't overtly juicy but she had gotten interview requests from some news agencies in the few weeks of chaos following the tragedy. Despite her protests, some people kept digging. She had changed her phone number last spring but somehow people started to reach out to her again. It was approaching the one year anniversary of the event and apparently some people decided her story could be a newsworthy contribution.

But now, her phone wouldn't stop ringing and she wasn't sure how to block an unlisted number. She had even gotten an email to her account at Bass Industries which was more of a concern for her security.

She headed outwards from the office and hopped in a cab, having decided it was the best choice of transportation in the sharp January air. Luckily there wasn't a huge distance between BI and The Spectator offices.

She pulled down her scarf as she headed into the office, pausing at the front to say hello to Marie.

"He's just finishing up something, have a seat, dear." Mackenzie smiled at her, dropping down to sit on a chair in the foyer. She felt a strange sense of pride for Nate when she visited the office. He had a well operating ship, with busy people shuttling around the office. The Spectator had an incredible standing as a reputable political news source and she knew it was just going to grow more. Nate's footing in the political game was growing, too.

Her head popped up when she heard his voice as he opened his door, finishing up his meeting. Mackenzie stood as he approached and was surprised to see him shaking hands with a police officer.

They hadn't discussed much after the initial bomb threat occurred and Mackenzie was naive to think the problem was solved. Seeing Nate meeting with the police made her stomach churn, a reminder of the gravity of the situation. Sure, it wasn't a real bomb but it still got there somehow.

"Hey," he stepped away for a moment to kiss Mackenzie on the cheek, "Feel free to wait in my office, we're almost done here." She smiled at him then did as he suggested. As she walked away, she heard the officer asked about her and if she was his girlfriend. As Nate confirmed their relationship with him, he started to ask a few more questions. She did her best to listen but their voices hushed dramatically.

Mackenzie sat down in a chair across from Nate's desk and grabbed her phone. Another missed call from a blocked number. She sighed and didn't even bother to check the voicemail.

Nate walked into his office a few moments later, shutting the door behind him. He leaned down to give Mackenzie a kiss before sitting across from her.

She gave him a skeptical glance. "Are you going to tell me what that was all about? And why you gave that police officer my name?"

Nate sighed. He didn't want to do this now. The last thing he wanted to do was give her a reason to be concerned, especially when he knew something else was already bothering her.

"I didn't want to tell you this but those 'bombs' they found," he used his fingers to make air quotes over the word bomb, "were addressed to The Spectator. Specifically to me."

Mackenzie's eyes grew wide as he spoke, and her mouth dropped open slightly, "Are you serious?" Nate nodded.

"The officer was just coming back to get some more information. When he put together that you were my girlfriend, he wanted your info too."

"But why? Are you in danger?"  _Am I in danger?_

"No, honestly. It's all just precautionary. I don't mean to treat this lightly but stuff like this happens. It likely won't be the first empty threat. News agencies stir up anger in people all the time." Nate wasn't sure if what he was saying was true but he didn't want to worry her.

"Why didn't you tell me last week?" Mackenzie was both concerned and annoyed.

"I didn't want to worry you. Especially when nothing came from it. I'm fine, the office was cleared safe. We're going to do a few more things overall to deal with the security of the building. I don't know, I don't want to be responsible for added stress in your life."

She let out a breath and contemplated her next step. She could just let it go. Nate was trying to protect her feelings.  _You can't be mad at him for thinking about your well being._

"Nate, I don't think we should keep things from each other. Even if it means delivering uncomfortable information." She bit her lip and looked down. "I'm not a porcelain doll. I don't want you to push me into the corner as someone who can't handle bad news or the stress of your life."

"Hey," he leaned forward and extended his arm across the desk, reaching out for her. She grabbed his hand, looking up to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry. I should have been more transparent." He leaned down further to kiss her hand. "Now, what's going on?"

She pulled her hand away and laughed. "It's so trivial compared to all that."

"I doubt it. Talk to me."

She grabbed her phone from her bag and left it on his desk, face up.

"There is a reporter at the New York Post who won't leave me alone. I'm not even sure how she got my number but she wants to interview me about some write up she's doing called Baker's Dozen." Mackenzie sighed, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach about the whole thing. The woman was insisting on her interview, how talking about the twelve people who died because of Edward Baker wasn't enough. She had gone on and on about how the injured and the bystanders had to deal with the effects of his actions.

If Mackenzie was being honest, she thought the whole thing wasn't a terrible idea. But she didn't want to participate. She still wasn't sure if she was ready to talk about it publicly. Additionally, she didn't respect someone who kept pushing after she had declined.

"Jesus Christ," Nate grabbed her phone to see she had four missed calls. "Did you catch her name? Why am I not surprised it's someone from the Post."

"Short of changing my number, I'm not sure what to do." She grabbed it back from him and called her voicemail. "I think her name was Susan something?"

" _Hi Mackenzie, this is Suzanne Dunn. Calling again. I was hoping you would reconsider my offer - I would love to just sit down and have a candid interview. I know you had classes with Eddy Baker and I want to just dig in about how that day went for you. A little birdie told me you want to remain anonymous but I'm not sure how that'll work long term. We've found some scrubbed info and would love to discuss it before publishing. Anyway, give me a call back to confirm. I'll be in touch."_

Mackenzie pursed her lips hearing the whole thing repeated.

"She also sent me an email at work and to my Columbia account. I'm not sure how she got that info." She looked over at Nate, who seemed to be stewing in his chair.

"This woman is well known for writing garbage. I'm surprised they still employ her there. Has she shown up at Bass Industries?"

Mackenzie shook her head, "No. Do you think she would?"

Nate shrugged, "Honestly, I'm not sure. But I bet that's her next step, especially if she knows you're working there."

She sighed, "Maybe I should just talk to her."

"Mack, you've already told her no and she should respect that. There is such a thing as journalist integrity and she does not have it. Do you know what scrubbed info she might be talking about?"

Mackenzie shrugged then sighed, "No, I think that might be some weird empty threat. Chuck made sure my name wasn't released in any news articles but it's not classified information. Unless she somehow got my medical records but that doesn't have anything interesting in it."

Mackenzie's phone began to ring again. Nate grabbed it from her hands and answered.

"Hello?...She's not available. Can I ask where you got this number from?...No, Mackenzie Humphrey will not take your call." Nate was struggling to keep his volume down as he spoke. "If you continue to call this number, we'll be getting the authorities involved and The New York Post will have a civil litigation on their hands for harassment. Lose this number and do not try to contact Miss Humphrey again."

Mackenzie smiled as he pressed to end the call, impressed by the authority in his voice.

"Hopefully that helps. I know I would be pissed if any of my staff came to me needing to fight off a civil suit. If we need further action, one of my board members is a lawyer who can help. Forward all those emails to me so I can have a copy too."

"Thank you." She said simply, not sure how else to express her gratitude.

"I will not tolerate some amateur Post journalist harassing my girlfriend."

Mackenzie allowed the corners of her lips to go up, forming a smile as she gazed over at him.

Someone knocked at the door then turned the handle to come in. It was Leo.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt Nate, but we've gotta go if we're meeting the Lakeside Group uptown at one."

"Oh, is that today?"

"Yeah I've got the presentation ready. Cars coming around." Leo waved to Mackenzie then slipped away.

"I was going to suggest lunch but turns out I read my calendar wrong," Nate gave her an apologetic look. "Can I take you to dinner later?"

Mackenzie smiled. She was overwhelmed over the last few conversations they had and really wanted to decompress. But the idea of dinner out with her handsome boyfriend was pretty nice.

"Sure. Text me the details." She stood up and followed him out the door as he pulled on his coat.

"Hey," he grabbed her arm and pulled her into his, landing his lips on her. "Wear something nice tonight."

* * *

"I just want to point out the direction of 'wear something nice' is incredibly vague. So I hope this is okay." Nate just laughed as he helped her out of her coat at the restaurant.

Nate had picked an upscale little Italian place in the lower village. On the ride over he told her it was a place his parents always took him to when he was younger.

"Stop, you look perfect," Nate just smiled at her while he handed off their coats to the hostess. He paused to take her in - she had on a black A-line dress that cut right above her knees. The short sleeves had a black studded design and it dipped into a slight v neck at the front. She had curled her hair into a manageable state, letting it flow down her back.

She smiled at him.  _Perfect._

Nate dropped his arm behind her waist to lead her towards where the hostess was waiting. Just as he turned, he heard a voice.

"Son?" Both Nate and Mackenzie turned their heads. Nate pulled his arm away to face his parents who had just walked into the restaurant.

He greeted The Captain and Anne Archibald with a hug. They chatted for a few moments, as they all put together that Nate was here on a date. Mackenzie gulped when she heard Nate's dad insisting they all sit together.

"Uh, sure, why not?"

Nate turned to Mackenzie to see her smiling, although he could see her eyes panicking. He grabbed her hand and leaned in, "I'm so sorry, this was just some sort of weird timing. Are you okay with this?"

_No, of course not. Do you really think I want our first real out in public date to turn into me meeting your parents for the first time? I'm going to vomit._

Mackenzie swallowed hard and nodded, "Yes, don't worry."

"You're a terrible liar. Listen, I can fake a work emergency and we can just"

"Nate, stop. I assumed I would meet your parents at some point so may as well dive in. I'll survive." She leaned in and met his lips. "Just get me a glass of wine."

He smiled at her, mouthing the words 'thank you' as he placed his arm around her back again. He turned to meet his parents, as they waited for the hostess to alter a table for four instead.

"Mom, dad, this is Mackenzie," Nate smiled as he introduced her. "Mack, meet Anne and Howard Archibald."

"Mackenzie, hello," Anne gave her a small smile, extending her hand.

"You can call me The Captain," Howard expressed next, pulling Mackenzie into a hard hug.

"Hi, it's so nice to meet you both."

"I hope this isn't a terrible interruption to your date night," Anne continued as they followed a server to their table. Nate assured his mother it was okay and not to worry.

Mackenzie didn't intend to be so quiet but as the dinner carried on, she felt her anxiety growing and growing. Luckily most of the conversation was dominated by Nate and Howard discussing what had happened with the threat last week. The conversation turned to quickly to Mackenzie. She was grateful to have already finished a glass of wine before they wanted to really talk to her.

"Boys, enough. Mackenzie, I would love to know more about you," Anne gave her another small smile. Mackenzie couldn't get a read of her intentions but she hoped it was in good faith. Nate leaned and stretched his arm over Mackenzie's back, turning to smile at her. "Where did you two meet?"

"Mom, I told you she's Dan's sister."

"Oh right."

"I mean," Mackenzie jumped in, "If we're being specific we must have met at one of Dan's book launches last year, although he doesn't remember me. Technically we met when he visited our loft and scared me half to death."

"Well, that's what happens when you cook with headphones on," Nate teased her. He moved his arm from her back and placed it on her knee under the table, as he took a sip of his wine.

"And what do you do for work?"

"I'm still in school, actually."

"You're working at Bass Industries," Nate corrected her.

"Well, sure. Technically I'm working for the Bass Foundation but it's for internship hours. I'm finishing up my Masters in Foreign Economics at Columbia right now."

That fact alone set Howard and Mackenzie into s thorough discussion over professors at Columbia and recent economic news. Nate couldn't help but beam as they chatted. He could tell Mackenzie was feeling a bit more comfortable. Maybe their impromptu double date was a truly happy accident.

Later that night, they were back at the loft. Nate was sitting at the end of the couch, Mackenzie was sprawled out with her head in his lap, knees positioned upwards at an angle. Nate was running his hands through her hair as she laid there with her eyes closed.

"I don't think your mom likes me," Mackenzie finally spoke.

"What?"

"She spent 20 minutes updating you on Cassandra Kennedy and her new role as Social Media Director at her dad's company. And asked how Serena is. Twice."

"Well, that doesn't necessarily translate to her not liking  _you,_ " he responded. "I'm not sure she's thought anyone I've dated is the right choice in her eyes. Even Serena."

"Oh great, that's comforting."

"Hey," Nate moved his hand from her hair and placed it over her chest, "She needs to get to know you better. Try not to worry about it. My dad loves you though. He even texted me once we left to tell me how happy we seem. He also said he respects your choice of investing Amazon all those years ago."

"Well, that's very nice of him. Also my 50 shares don't count for much in the grand scheme, so I hope you're not dating me for my money."

Nate smiled at her. "My parents never officially got divorced. They did separate their finances in a way but they're trying to be a team again. My dads been through a lot and my mom's family have not been great to him in the last while. But they're trying. So I'm glad we got to have dinner, it's just nice to see them together again."

Mackenzie brought her hand up to clutch on to Nate's. She nuzzled into him closer. He let his other hand trace along her chest and down to her legs, as her dress had pulled down a bit exposing her thigh.

His fingers gently crossed over the scar on her leg.

"Would you tell me about it, some day?" Nate's question came out as a low whisper. Mackenzie squeezed onto his hand on her chest even tighter.

"I'll tell you about it right now," she replied, closing her eyes.

"Only if you want to."

She took a deep breath and let it out. "Truthfully, some of the day is a full blur and some details I'll likely never burn from my brain. Like I specifically remember having a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast that morning and that my bus was 12 minutes late." She paused. "A bunch of us were sitting in the student lounge on the 4th floor before class. We heard someone scream down the hall which was a bit jarring and confusing." She paused again.

Nate could feel her breath picking up as she talked.

"Mack, you can stop.."

"All of a sudden we heard a gun. Streaming bullets as he kicked open the lounge door. There was this separate glassed off area, we called it the Fish Tank. He pointed the gun over there and just sprayed. It was like he had no plan. The glass shattered as people screamed. He looked terrified. By that point a bunch of us were running to hide. Just as I was dropping down behind a couch, that bullet hit my leg. I think it ricocheted off a table or something. People were sobbing, screaming. I didn't even realize it had happened, like I looked down and saw the blood on my jeans and I just, it..didn't click. One of my classmates was beside me. She got hit twice in the back, directly. I could hear her weeping. Edward was just screaming and apologizing and asking for forgiveness."

"Then it was just silence, until his footsteps moved through the room. I just laid there and didn't move. I read something about pretending to be dead in an emergency like this."

"No one talks about the silence. Or the smell. It just smelled like blood. It's so fucked up. So fucked up." Mackenzie didn't even realize she had started to cry. Nate pulled his hand up to lock his arms around her.

Her voice came out like a whisper, "Then he threw himself off the balcony. It felt like the whole thing lasted 20 seconds but somehow also felt like 20 years."

"Everyone said he did it because some girl had upset him. Or some sort of mess like that. It sparked a big conversation about mental health for the rest of the semester but the damage was done. No one will ever really know why he did what he did. But the speculation went on forever. His mom reached out to all of us after the fact - she was crying over the phone when she called me. I didn't even know what to say."

"Mack, I'm so sorry." Nate was at a loss of words. What could even be said?

She pulled herself up and broke from his arms, sitting beside him. "There are so many stupid what ifs running through my brain about it. Like what if I had studied at home that morning instead? Or what if I had gone to grab a coffee two minutes earlier and left the room? I can't help but think I could have done something differently. Like I could have helped."

"You know you can't do that to yourself, right?" Nate started to rub her back as she sat beside him. She nodded then stood up suddenly.

"For weeks and weeks, it just played over again and again in my head constantly. I relied on sleeping pills for a while, too. It was such a mess. But like any tragedy, after the dust settled it was over. Life goes on and I suppose aside from the scar and panic attacks, at least I survived."

Nate stood up and wrapped his arms around her tightly. He laid a kiss on top of her head as she sunk into him.

"And I am especially glad you survived." He whispered quietly. "My shimmering sunflower."

She took a breath and laughed at his comment, sniffling.

"What? If Dan's gonna make fun of me for that, I'm just gonna start using it as a pet name for you."

"I like it." She paused, pulling away from his chest to look up at him. "I like you. I like this."

"Me too." He smiled down at her. "And thank you for telling me about...what happened. I know that wasn't easy. I mean I can't really wrap my head around it but I'm trying to understand."

"Well, that's better than my previous boyfriend who just let me cry and ignored me."

"Well, I promise your current boyfriend will never do that."

She sniffed again, blinking hard to clear her eyes from crying. "I feel very lucky to have you, Nate."

Nate leaned down and kissed her once more. He stayed there this time, moving his hands slowly up and down her back. He stopped and brought one hand forward to wipe a few remaining tears from her eyes.

She smiled and returned her lips to his, nibbling on his lip gently. She let her hands roam over his chest and up to his shoulders, pushing his jacket off.

He kissed down her neck, but each press was intentional. He wanted to savour each moment on her skin.

"Do you wanna.."

She nodded slowly, dying to be close to him.

"But I want-

"Slow, steady, strategic?"

She nodded again, a small smile crossing her lips. As if he read her mind.

* * *

Wednesday morning closed door meetings with Chuck had become a standard for Mackenzie. Although she woke up with a sore throat and was worried about an oncoming cold, she was feeling better after drinking tea all day. Their meeting moved quickly and she was already looking forward to sleeping in on the weekend.

"So, digging into the books, the only red flag I can note is the last two years the fundraising cap was at 6% - this year, it went down to 4.5%."

"In its infancy, a foundation needs more start up so that's not out of the ordinary. If all the transactions balance, of course."

"And they do. As far as I can tell that 1.5% difference went back into the operating budget line. Otherwise, all I can see is that a few of the large donations had a five day hold instead of the standard 48 hours."

Chuck gave her a curious look.

"But," she continued, "The donations still balanced on either side."

Chuck sighed then leaned forward on his desk. "Well, keep an eye out, leading up to the gala. Especially with the silent auction."

Mackenzie nodded, scribbling down some notes in her book.

"Oh, I have one more ask of you. Would you be available for a quick trip to Chicago next week?"

Now it was Mackenzie's turn to give a quizzical look. "Save from my Friday class, I suppose I'm free."

Chuck waved his hand, "it's Tuesday to Thursday. Oz is speaking at the International Hotel Symposium - he's delivering the keynote about our economic growth in Australia. My uncle Jack will be there, too, at some point. That being said, Oz requested we send a Junior for the professional development experience and he recommended you. I think it would be fitting, considering your current Masters program."

"Okay, don't get me wrong, I appreciate the opportunity. But I don't want more senior staff to be irritated with me because I get to"

"Don't worry yourself over the trivial gossip of other staff. This is not an exciting trip - three days in the cold Chicago winter at a boring hotel conference taking notes for Oz."

Mackenzie gave him a warm smile and nodded. "Well, count me in."

"Wonderful, watch your email for the details."

Mackenzie grabbed her things and stood up. She was grateful for her blossoming work relationship with Chuck. It was nice to feel trusted - although she still wasn't sure why she was the right candidate for these things. She didn't want to be given any sort of preferential treatment because she knew Chuck in a personal manner.

"Oh, Mackenzie. One more thing. I know this is outside of your work scope but would you mind acting as a courier for me this afternoon? I have some paperwork that needs to go to the bank, and then some delivered home. I usually send an assistant but this is important." He grabbed an envelope from his desk drawer and handed it to her. "Take one of the company's drivers. The bank will be expecting you."

She nodded and grabbed the envelope.

As she slipped into the back of a Bass Industries town car, she called Nate.

"Hey Mack,"

"Hi." She smiled at the sound of his voice.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call?" She could picture the smile on his face.

"I just wanted to let you know I'm apparently now going to Chicago for a conference next week."

"Wow, look at you. My very important business professional girlfriend."

Mackenzie laughed at his response, "I think it's going to be pretty boring but we'll see. I'm kind of excited. Apparently Mitch requested for me to go with him specifically, so I guess it'll be good professional development or-"

"Is it just you and Mitch going?"

She could hear the tone of Nate's voice change. She was already annoyed by where their conversation was about to go.

"Yes." Mackenzie's response was followed by silence. "Well, I think Jack Bass might be there too, maybe."

His silence was deafening. "I've gotta go to a meeting, Mackenzie, I'll call you later." His tone was sharp and angry as the call ended.

Mackenzie pulled her phone back in surprise, seeing Nate had hung up.  _Wow._ She pushed back her sudden rush of annoyance. She opened her phone and started to type out a text to him but stopped herself.

After running in and out of the bank, she took a deep breath and composed a message while they headed to the Waldorf's apartment.

' _If for some reason you are upset about my going to a professional work event with a work colleague, we need to actually talk about it instead of you hanging up on me. Unimpressed, Archibald.'_

She rode up the elevator, shoving her phone into her bag and sighing. She was trying hard to justify Nate's abrupt actions but she was failing. It was an immature way to react to her. Not to mention if he was really bothered by the whole thing, that would be a completely different conversation.

She stepped off of the elevator to hear the sound of Henry's laughter. She saw the little boy walking down the hall, a large piece of fabric in his hand. Their housekeeper Dorota was following behind him. She snatched up the boy and turned to Mackenzie.

"Miss Mackenzie, hello. Mr. Chuck said you would be stopping by."

Mackenzie smiled and waved at Henry, who gave her an awkward full arm wave back. "Here you go." She handed the tied up envelope to Dorota's free hand.

"Dorota!" Blair's voice echoed through the apartment as she walked down the staircase. "Oh, Mackenzie, hi."

"Hey Blair, I was just dropping off a few things at Chuck's request."

Dorota waved the envelope at Blair who smiled.

"We're about to have lunch, if you want to stay." Blair motioned to the dining room where a fruit, pastries and sandwiches were laid out.

Mackenzie grabbed her phone and saw a missed call from Nate and an unread message. She let out a quiet groan.

"Sure, I'd love to stay for lunch, if I'm not imposing." She shrugged off her coat and hung it on a nearby rack, smiling as she followed Blair into the dining room. Dorota sat Henry in a wooden high chair beside his mother and moved a small plastic plate of food in front of him.

Blair and Mackenzie made polite conversation, Mackenzie spending most of her time laughing as Henry babbled away, throwing most of his food on the ground as Dorota ran around to clean it up.

"So, have you met The Captain and Anne?" Blair asked, breaking off a piece of croissant. Mackenzie had almost forgotten Blair had dated Nate in high school.

"Yeah, last week. The Captain was great. He thinks so fondly of Nate, and it really shows. Anne was…"

Blair laughed as she trailed off, "No need to filter yourself in front of me."

"She was fine! Nice enough. There's just no way she thinks I'm an appropriate choice to be courted by her son."

"Oh god, of course not." Blair rolled her eyes. "The Vanderbilt family would prefer he date some Old Money fourth cousin. I'm sure she'll be more receptive in time."

"Do you think Nate's the jealous type?" Mackenzie blurted out the question without second thought.

Blair paused for a moment before responding. "Nate cares deeply but doesn't mask his unhappy feelings well. He's also been told his whole life that he wasn't smart enough to match the expectations set out for him. If he's feeling threatened by someone, especially when it comes to people he cares about, it's going to come across as jealousy."

"So yes."

"My argument is that it's likely not intentional or malicious."

Mackenzie quickly explained their earlier phone call. Blair just nodded then waved her hand at the whole thing.

"Nate's brain just went on red alert that you'll be traveling with who he assumes is a threat to your relationship."

"Sure, I understand that but if he trusts me, it's a non issue."

"You guys have been dating for two minutes! Trust is only one thing. Not only that, you're both in a beautiful dream like state of a new relationship. You've gotta argue and dig in sometimes. Not that I condone his jealous attitude, but maybe talk to him about what's bothering him. Take it from me, I'm a strong willed feminist but having your partner show concern and worry about you is not a bad thing." Blair paused to quickly analyze Mackenzie's face. "Mackenzie, you have to try and let him in. I can see you're guarded, I understand that. But I doubt Nate has any ill intentions. He's quite taken with you, and I know you are with him too."

Mackenzie sighed. She wasn't sure what inspired Blair's honesty but she considered maybe what she was saying made sense.

"Thanks Blair. Really. I didn't mean to just unload all this on you."

"Things have gotten pretty boring around here so I don't mind." Blair smiled and raised her eyebrows, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Oh, before I go, this may be an odd question but I'd like to find a great dress for the Foundation gala coming up. Any recommendations?"

Blair looked at her, stunned. "I'm not going to recommend anyone. I'll design you one myself."

"Blair, I didn't mean to imply that. I don't want to be a burden on your time."

"Stop. This gala means a lot to Chuck so I insist. I'm picturing a sweetheart neckline, a flowing skirt, florals." Her eyes sparkled as she dreamed up the design. Mackenzie couldn't help but smile. Aside from a few things from Jenny, she didn't think she'd ever be wearing custom clothing.

"You're a part of our big mixed up family now, Mackenzie. It's all connected. One of my assistants will call to arrange a fitting in a few weeks."

Mackenzie thanked her again for lunch and the generous dress offer. She rode down the elevator feeling better about her situation with Nate but she was still dreading talking to him about it.

She finally pulled out her phone to see a message from him.

' _I shouldn't have hung up on you. That was childish. Can you call me when you have a moment. Please.'_

After waiting a few minutes the company car returned. Mackenzie slid into the backseat and called Nate.

"Mackenzie, hi."

"Hey."

"Listen, I just want to apologize for how our call ended earlier. Hanging up was not my best decision."

"Can you just explain to me what the issue is?" She didn't want to waste time.

"Look, my stomach dropped at the idea of you going on a trip and working closely with another man."

Mackenzie rolled her eyes, "You're ridiculous. I know we're new in this relationship Nate but I don't think I've given you any reason to not trust me."

"It's not about you. It's about him."

"Nate."

"I just remember seeing how he looked at you at that party at Chuck and Blair's. Then he showed up when you had a panic attack and now he requested you for this trip."

"Wow. We had one conversation at that party, then he helped me when I was in a crisis and he asked me to go for the professional experience."

"Mack, I think for some reason you're naive to your appeal. He's clearly attracted to you."

"Oh my god Nate. A man talking to me does not mean he wants to sleep with me." Mackenzie was past the point of being understanding. She was downright pissed at his comments now. "That's an old fashioned way to think of things."

"That doesn't mean it's not true."

"And it doesn't matter what  _his_  intentions are. Because clearly I don't want that from him. And if you trust me, that shouldn't matter."

"Forgive me for worrying about you spending time closely with this handsome Australian. I just don't want you to go falling in love with him."

"So you don't trust me."

"I do. This is about him." Mackenzie couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"So what do you want me to do? Not go on this trip? Call Chuck and say 'Sorry, Nate doesn't want me to go unless I have a chaperone'."

She could hear him let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm not going to ask you to do that."

"But that's what you want?"

"No. Of course not." He paused. "Mack, I just want to point out you started to flirt with me when you were still dating Adam so you can't blame me for worrying."

"Wow. And you were flirting with me when you knew I had a boyfriend so what kind of fucking argument is that, Nate?" She was holding back her tears as she spoke. Her voice came out as an aggressive whisper.

"Mack, wait, I'm sorry that didn't come out how I wanted it to."

"Nate, I'm hanging up. Please, don't call me back."

She tossed her phone down beside her, letting the tears fall from her eyes. The most ironic part of fighting like this is Nate was the only one she wanted to turn to for comfort. She wanted to let his shoulders soak up her tears.  _Well, I guess that was exactly what Blair said: argue and dig in._

**xoxoxo**

_well, let's see if Nate and Mackenzie can handle their first fight. It's a tragedy to care so deeply. But, what happens in Chicago will definitely come back to the Upper East Side._


	17. Chapter 17

" _Do you wanna.."_

_She nodded slowly, dying to be close to him._

" _But I want-_

" _Slow, steady, strategic?"_

_She nodded again, a small smile crossing her lips. As if he read her mind._

_Their bodies intertwined on her bed, hands, lips, mouths exploring every inch of each other. This time, no one was in charge. This time, there was no plan. And this time, it felt raw, real, explosive._

_They fit together so perfectly in that moment. As if each and every decision had led to their bodies connecting right then and there._

Mackenzie was curled up in her bed on Friday afternoon, trying to finish off an assignment and thinking back to how her week had started. Dinner with Nate's parents, sharing with him, their passionate adventure in her bed. That whole night had opened her eyes to something new.

But then, by Wednesday afternoon everything seemed to have crashed. She couldn't understand where Nate's jealousy was stemming from and she was having a hard time letting herself think about forgiving him.

Now, it was Friday afternoon and they hadn't talked since. She wouldn't take his calls and she responded to each of his texts explaining she wasn't ready to talk yet. The worst part of it was that she felt like complete garbage - her sore throat had escalated to a full blown winter cold and she was craving his company and attention.

But, she was not defeated yet. She was not ready to reach out so she hoped maybe her brother would assist her instead.

She moved her laptop off her legs and grabbed her phone.

Nate was late for work Thursday and Friday, too. He wasn't sleeping very well and he was certain it was because his argument with Mackenzie had left him out of sorts. He wanted to apologize and fix things, but her almost radio silence was making him think she didn't want to talk about it at all. Or even talk to him, ever again.

He tapped his pen on his desk as he stared down at his phone. It was Friday afternoon. He knew she was done class for the day. He wasn't sure if she would be on campus or at home. But he just wanted to hear her voice, see her face, hold her hand.

He considered sending her flowers, but he didn't think that would be enough.

His planning was interrupted by Dan appearing at his office door. Nate waved him in and motioned for him to sit.

"I was doing some running around down here so I thought I would pop by," Dan started, pulling off his scarf and unbuttoning his jacket.

"You're a welcome distraction, I'm pretty checked out of having a productive afternoon anyway," Nate replied, shrugging and glancing at his phone again.

"So," Dan continued, "My sister messaged me. She's been overrun by a cold and desperate for soup and cold medicine. A request I assumed she would direct at her boyfriend first?"

Nate sighed. He was hoping maybe this tiff with Mackenzie would stay between them. He knew he made the wrong comment and his reaction to the whole thing was not appropriate. He knew that, and he wasn't going to hide the fact. But he wanted to talk it out with her, not anyone else. Particularly not her brother.

"Uhm, yeah, she's upset with me right now, so," Nate finally said, leaning back in his chair.

Dan winced, "I'm trying not to involve myself. I consider this whole thing a conflict of interest so I don't want to ask."

"She has every right to be mad, I said something pretty juvenile. We just had such a good time earlier this week, easily one of the best...I just feel like she's the right person for me. But I got all in my head and freaked out about something so stupid and.."

Dan put his hands up in protest, "I don't want the details." He paused. "Tell me though, is she giving you the full silent treatment or still politely sending automated responses to your messages?"

Nate couldn't help but laugh, "The second thing. It's actually even more irritating because I get really excited when I see her name on my screen only to have her shut me down."

Dan smiled, "Listen, that's a good sign. You just need to go talk to her."

"I don't want to force her if she doesn't want to talk."

"I get that and I find it awfully respectable, but my advice is to make the move and not wait. Trust me. She's going to try and shut you out if you don't talk to her."

Nate just sighed. He felt defeated. As much as he wanted to wait for Mackenzie to talk to him, the lack of communication was killing him. Dan's advice may work well.

"Here's what I would suggest you do. Go to Noodle Village and get a wonton soup, extra wontons, and an order of miso soup too. She'll want both. Vitamin C tablets, orange juice, Advil Cold medicine - all that stuff, too. It's a gesture, and it should come from you, not me. She wants you to take care of her, she just doesn't want to admit it."

Nate sighed but nodded, scribbling down a few things Dan had mentioned. "Well, at this point, I don't have much to lose. Thanks, man."

* * *

' _Daaaaan, the soup. I'm dying. I can just call a delivery order if you don't have time.'_

' _The soup is coming! Hang in there, drama queen.'_

Mackenzie smiled at his response and dropped her phone on the bed. She had been lounging around all day now. She had actually slept through her alarm and missed her class this morning. She was disappointed and knew that if her and Nate had been talking she could have just crashed at his place the night before.

She had emailed her professor the moment she woke up and was grateful he shared the class content with her. She did have a report due that evening still though.

She grabbed her laptop and continued working, doing her best to stay awake. She knew working from her bed was probably not the best choice but she had no energy to set up anywhere else.

Within twenty minutes of trying to work, Mackenzie had fallen asleep.

After Dan had left The Spectator, Nate had decided to leave, too. He told Marie he was leaving for the day and set out picking up all the things his friend had recommended.

When he finally got to the loft, a sudden wave of nervousness hit him. Maybe showing up unannounced was a bad idea.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, but there was no answer. He had just confirmed with Dan she was definitely at the loft. He knocked once more then sighed. He placed the bags on the ground and reached for the spare key, letting himself in.

"Mackenzie?" He tried to announce his presence as he walked in. He left the bags on the counter and took a quick look around to see where she was. He pushed open the door to her room and found her lying on the bed, asleep. Her laptop had shifted off her legs and slid to the side of the bed.

Nate couldn't help but smile at the site of her. Her hair was pulled into a side braid, her face pale. She was wearing her oversized college sweatshirt, tucked safely underneath a pile of blankets.

He walked slowly to the far side of her bed and grabbed her laptop, placing it safely on the side table. He paused when he saw her stirring in the bed. She slowly opened her eyes and noticed him.

"Hi." Her voice came out quietly.

"I brought you some soup, but uh, I'll just put it in the fridge and go," he defended himself, taking a few steps towards the door.

Mackenzie just looked at him. In that moment, she couldn't even remember what they fought about the other day. She just wanted to pull him down into the bed with her and feel his arms wrapped around her.

"I don't want you to go," she gave him a small smile. A peace offering.

"Are you hungry?" Nate returned a smile to her, grateful. She shook her head. "Well, let me put this food away. One second." He darted towards the kitchen.

Mackenzie could hear a few paper bags shuffling in the kitchen. Nate returned moments later, having taken off his suit jacket. He handed her a glass of orange juice then walked to the other side of the bed. She shuffled slightly, sitting up to sip the juice. Nate climbed in beside her.

Mackenzie placed the glass on her side table then turned and faced her boyfriend.

"I'm sorry for shutting you out the last few days."

"I'm sorry for causing this whole mess." Nate looked into her eyes. She looked so tired and he couldn't help but feel guilty for not coming to her rescue sooner. "Come here."

He reached his arm out, extending it behind her shoulders and pulling her close. She wrapped her arms around his torso as she rested her head on his shoulder. The warmth of his body was incredibly comforting.

"I want to apologize for all those irrational things I said, especially about your relationship with Adam. It was out of line and truthfully, it came from a real place of fear."

"Nate," she squeezed him tighter, "It's okay."

"No, it's not," he continued, sighing, "My behaviour and comments were not okay. Being possessive is not a good trait."

Mackenzie sighed, too. She could tell Nate was remorseful over what he had said and had clearly been killing himself over it the past few days.

"You know, for this to work you have to let me in," she said quietly, pulling herself away for a moment to look at him. He shut his eyes and leaned his head back.

"Mack, the way I feel about you is hard for me to wrap my head around. It's like this intense sense of purpose has evolved in me. And it's kind of scary. My brain immediately went into this defensive mode at the idea of you travelling with another guy. And then I started to think about how he's likely a better fit for you than I am. You're just so incredible, Mack. And beautiful. And so smart. You were so worried about not being enough for me but here I am, projecting this nonsense outwardly, because I'm certainly not enough for you."

"Nate," Mackenzie nuzzled into his shoulder again. She was almost speechless hearing his vulnerable thoughts. All this time, her head was circling with doubts about his interest in her. And here he was, having the same thoughts.

He leaned down to kiss the top of her head, "Maybe I'm swept up in some honeymoon phase but I don't want to lose you. Something about this, about us, it feels right." He paused. "Do you remember that night when I drove you home from the Van Der Woodsen's after the 80s moving night? You fell asleep on my shoulder on the ride back here. I knew then."

Mackenzie gulped, "Knew what?"

Nate took a deep breath, "I knew that if I let myself, I was going to fall in love with you."

Mackenzie didn't know how to respond to that. She felt her heartbeat begin to increase and she laid on his chest.  _He's falling in love with me? Is that what he's implying? What do I say to that? He doesn't love me. He doesn't love me. No. No way. Am I falling in love with him? I think you know the answer to that question. Don't say anything._

"Sorry, love is a big, scary word and I don't mean to -

"Nate, stop, it's okay. I just want to stay in this exact moment for a second." She squeezed him again, swallowing a yawn. They shuffled down in the bed, both of their heads landing on her pillows.

They were silent for a few moments. Nate listened to her breathe, not very gracefully due to her congestion, but he couldn't help but feel grateful. Just to be around her.

* * *

JFK to O'Hare was just under three hours. Mackenzie had intended to study, or work on some reports for the foundation. She had taken the window seat beside Mitch in business class and almost immediately fell asleep during the afternoon flight.

She stirred awake once during a small bout of turbulence and looked down to see Mitch's hand on her knee. Her stomach tightened at the sight. She took a slow breath and squeezed her eyes shut again, gently moving her body as if she was just adjusting her position. The movement caused his hand to move away.

She didn't feel it return, nor did she mention it when they left the plane upon landing. Their conversation was always polite and controlled - Mitch kept his distance, but she watched him closely. Maybe Nate was right...

She was doing her best to keep a brave, normal face throughout their travels but her last conversation with Chuck before leaving earlier that afternoon was playing over and over in her mind.

" _I have reason to believe I can't trust Mitch Watson, anymore. It's a long story, but we found some questionable financial history he had a hand in. Now, I realize this puts you in a strange position but I'm hoping you can keep your eyes on him the next few days."_

" _Like, you want me to spy on him?" Mackenzie was skeptical about the whole thing._

_Chuck rolled his eyes, "No. You're going to be by his side most of the day anyway, just keep your ears open. See who he meets with."_

_Mackenzie sighed. She clutched her hands together in her lap as she looked over at Chuck._

" _I assure you this is all I need. If you feel unsafe or something happens, remove yourself from the situation and tell me. I can't explain more but I'm worried about some information leaking out."_

_Mackenzie took a few breaths then just smiled at him, "Okay. I'm just going to a conference. Nothing exciting. Just a conference. Taking notes at a conference for a potential company criminal. It's fine."_

" _Miss Humphrey, if this whole thing is going to_ unravel  _you, be honest and tell me. I'll make other arrangements." Chuck paused. "I don't want to put you in an awkward position, but I just think he's taken a liking to you and he may let some guards down."_

_She sighed, "No, it's fine. I always got a strange vibe from Mitch, if I'm being honest."_

" _He's the type who knows he is in a position of power with some your instincts, okay?"_

_Mackenzie nodded._

" _You haven't talked to Nathaniel about any of this, have you?"_

" _Honestly, no." She paused. "Although I'm not sure he's comfortable with me working on a secret project for you. Or spending any time with Mitch Watson."_

" _Blair did tell me about your chat last week. I'm sure he'd be mad if he thinks I forced your hand into this mess so I don't want you to feel obligated to do anything. I just want to know who Mitch Watson talks to, connects with."_

She was sitting at the small vanity in her spacious hotel room, working up the nerve to join Mitch for drinks. He casually suggested just going down to the hotel bar to go over their agenda for the conference.

She dressed casually in a pair of dark jeans with an off the shoulder grey wool sweater and a small pair of heeled boots.

Chuck's comments kept rolling through her mind.

_I just think he's taken a liking to you._

She sighed then looked over herself in the mirror. She grabbed her phone and took a selfie scrunching up her face and sticking her tongue out to the side, sending the pic to Nate. She knew the only way she would survive the next few boring days was messaging him.

' _I know you're probably at your super important Mayoral communication committee meeting but here's my face for when you finally check your phone. I already miss you, Archibald.'_

' _Wow, good timing to look at my phone. I'm making that picture my new lock screen! Miss you too, my sunflower. Hope that made you blush.'_

Mackenzie smiled at his response. His sugary sweet romantic comments made her feel a rush of warmth inside.  _Well, let's get this over with._

Half an hour later, Mackenzie was enjoying a cocktail with Mitch at the penthouse hotel bar. They were seated at a tall table with a view of the Chicago cityscape.

"So, whatever happened to the dumb Australian bloke who broke your heart?"

Mackenzie was taken aback by his sudden question. They had just gone over the agenda for the next day, leading up to his keynote at dinner. She had no issue carrying on a private conversation with him but she knew this was not the topic to dive into. She glanced over at him for a moment, still dressed in a suit and tie, his hair perfectly positioned.

"Oh, he didn't break my heart. He did obliterate all my self esteem and suck the serotonin from my soul, though," she said plainly, shrugging. "I'm sure he's still captaining the glorified bus boat in Brisbane." Mitch chuckled at her comment. "All that to say, I'm pretty content with my current partner so the Australian bloke hasn't crossed my mind in a long time."

Mitch shot her a playful smile, "Ah right. You're shacking up with the charming Mr. Archibald right? Runs The Spectator?"

She nodded, taking another sip of her drink.

"How's that going for you? It's serious?" Mackenzie glanced over at Mitch, trying to analyze the look on his face. His confidence was oozing. He reached across the table towards her, his hand about to land on top of hers resting on her glass.

Before she could defend herself, a new voice appeared at the table. Mitch drew his hand away quickly.

Mackenzie's brain started to whirl as these people approached.  _Why was he reaching out to me? What did he want from me? Did he want...me? Did I give him the wrong impression? It's one thing to have a budding friendship but maybe Nate was right about his goal out of this whole thing._

"Oz, there you are!" The stranger slapped the Australian's back, sliding into the seat beside him. Behind him was a woman with dark black hair who occupied to empty seat beside Mackenzie. She recognized her, but she couldn't figure out why.

"Mr. Bass, I figured you'd track me down at the bar,"

Mackenzie looked over at who she determined was Jack Bass. He had a bold smirk on his face and lively eyes. She didn't find him as immediately intimidating as she had found Chuck, but she could tell he had a lot of personality.

"Jack, have you met Mackenzie Humphrey?"

"Oh my god, right, you're Dan's sister!" The woman exclaimed, extending her hand. "I'm surprised we haven't crossed paths before. I'm Georgina Sparks."

Mackenzie just nodded her head and awkwardly shook her hand. Right. Her brother's final partner in crime during the end of his Gossip Girl reign.

"I thought Gossip Girl's sister was blonde? And lived in England?" Jack gave her a confused look.

"I'm the other sister. It's nice to meet you both, officially," she gave the pair a warm smile.

"Where have you been hiding?" Jack's smile turned playful and Mackenzie couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"In Boston, mostly."

"How unfortunate," Georgina gave her a sympathetic smile before waving down a waitress. The conversation continued on, carried mostly by Jack and Mitch talking some business. Apparently Jack and Georgina had just flown in from Miami.

Mackenzie excused herself not long after, hiding behind a yawn and the excuse of a last minute homework assignment. As she walked out of the bar, Mitch followed behind and placed his hand on his shoulder to stop her.

"Mackenzie." She turned her head over her shoulder to see his hand, then stood in front of him.

"I want you to think about what you want to get out of these next two days," he said quietly, slipping his hand into his pocket.

She gave him a confused gaze.

"A business trip is the perfect vessel for networking. Connecting. Trying new things."

She remained quiet, wondering why he was trying to sell her on the excitement of a hotel conference. She looked at the playful smile that remained on his face. She had been watching him earlier - three double cocktails. His eyes bright blue, staring at her intensely.

"Just," he hesitated, "if you need anything,  _anything at all_ , here." He removed his pocket from his hands and offered her his room key. She glanced at his hand, then back up to him. She didn't reach for the card. What was he thinking?

"I'll see you in the morning," she said firmly, "G'night, Mitch."

Mackenzie's brain was racing as she hurried to the elevator and back down to her room.  _Okay, so maybe he is attracted to me. Or just wants some sort of conquest._ She did her best to breath deeply as she shuffled around her room, kicking off her boots and falling onto the bed.

_Deep breaths, Mackenzie._

As she lay on her back on the bed, she pressed her hands over her chest, applying pressure as she filled her lungs.

"Nothing happened, you're fine," she said quietly to herself. She went over the entire day in her head, wondering just where she may have mislead him. Chuck's words sang out over and over:  _He's the type who knows he is in a position of power with some people._

She let out a breath and sat up. She couldn't do this to herself. This wasn't her fault. She knew Chuck wanted some info about Mitch so she decided to let the room key thing go. She would keep it to herself. She just had to get through the next two days then she would be home to her regularly scheduled life and to Nate.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and saw a goodnight message from him. She smiled to herself and fell back onto the bed. Just two more days.

* * *

Mackenzie found herself very easily distracted at the conference. She had tailed around Mitch for most of the morning, doing her best to carefully watch who he was interacting with.

She really thought the whole thing was silly, the more she thought about it. If Mitch was really doing some illicit, then he was probably doing a pretty good job hiding it.

In the middle of the afternoon, she found herself lost in her thoughts in the middle of the session. Mitch's keynote address was happening at the evening dinner event but she was trying to fill some of her afternoon time with relevant topics. But, it was hard to stay engaged.

She had been texting with Nate throughout the day, and every time his name popped up on her phone, she melted.

" _I knew that if I let myself, I was going to fall in love with you."_

Her thoughts about Nate were interrupted by, well, Nate. As her phone started to buzz, she scurried out of the conference hall and found an armchair to drop down onto.

"Hey handsome."

She swore she could hear him smile on the other end. "Hey you. How goes day two?"

"It's pretty boring. I'm thinking of skipping the next few sessions to go do some course work."

"Wow, you're right, that must be super boring if Essentials of International Economics seems more interesting."

"I'm impressed you remembered that. I assume your eyes just gloss over when I talk about school."

"I'm a very good listener, Mack." She smiled at his playfulness. "So, I have good news and bad news."

"This is turning into a not so fun phone call."

"Bad news: I have to go out west next week to pitch to a new investor."

"Nate, that's not bad news. That sounds great for The Spectator."

"I know, but I fly out the morning of Valentines day."

"Oh, well, I don't care about that. Although I imagine you must have had some big, elaborate over the top plan for romancing me."

"Well, that's the good news: I have a surprise for you this Saturday, if you're free."

"Nate, I don't really like surprises." Her stomach dropped at the thought of an unknown date. She was sure she had nothing to fear, but there was an unsettling feeling that washed over her when it came to unknowns and uncertainty.

"I promise you'll love this one."

"Okay, okay. I will try to be excited and not inventing a thousand different scenarios about what it'll involve."

* * *

After dinner and Mitch's keynote address at the conference, everyone was heading up to an afterparty in one of the penthouse suites.

Mackenzie had kept things as amicable as possible with Mitch throughout the day, and neither one of them brought up the hotel room key situation from the night before. Maybe it was best to just put it behind them, chalk it up to inappropriate drunk comments.

She hated to admit it but Mitch was charming. He easily spoke to the crowd that evening, explaining the economic growth of both the Bass hotels in Australia but also their contracting companies. It was easy to tie it all together - both worked for the other. But he had the room laughing, engaged on his every word. Mackenzie watched as women were enthralled by his beautiful smile and colourful commentary on his work experience.

She hated it. There was something about him, deep down, that she could tell was dishonest.

He had given her another small lecture at the dinner table, as she had tried to politely decline attending the party. He went on and on about networking and how it was such a good opportunity for a junior, inexperienced employee to connect with people in the industry. It didn't help that Georgina insisted she be there so she had some sort of  _gal pal_  at the party.

Mitch smiled at Mackenzie when she finally said she would attend. "Perfect, we'll go together. I'll drop by your room around 9."

She was ready when he showed up. She would not even humour the idea of him entering her room and waiting while she continued to get ready. She wore a knee length black dress with long sleeves, coming together with a tie in the middle below her chest. The tied bow revealed a small peekaboo of skin. She felt it was a safe choice - business appropriate but also comfortable for the party.

When Mitch knocked on her door, she threw it open and quickly stepped outside.

"You clean up nicely, Miss Humphrey," he said smoothly, his Australian accent spilling out.

"Thanks." She said shortly.

"Listen, Mackenzie," he reached out to grab her wrist as she turned to walk towards the elevator, "I want to apologize for last night. I don't know what got into me, but please forget I ever said it. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. We are colleagues and we'll be working together in the future. So, please, forgive me."

Mackenzie pursed her lips together. She wasn't sure if his words were genuine, but she relaxed her shoulders. "Okay, I can forget about it." She knew she shouldn't say that. She knew she shouldn't trust him. And maybe she didn't. But she also knew staying in his good graces meant she may be able to find out some information for Chuck.

Mitch just smiled at her as they headed towards the elevator and upstairs to the party.

The event they walked into was not what Mackenzie was expecting. The room was full of people sitting, standing, chatting. But she could also very clearly see business men making out with scantily dressed women in one corner of the room. Some people were smoking. There was plenty of open bottles around.

"Who's throwing this party?" Mackenzie asked Mitch as the headed in. She felt uneasy.

"Some venture capitalist, big pockets," Mitch shrugged, stopping at a table full of liquor bottles. He held one up to her.

"Sure." Mackenzie's brain was going into overdrive. She hated being in a situation with people she didn't know, especially if it was beyond her control. Why was this seedy penthouse an appropriate place to network?

Mitch handed her a glass with something in it. She smiled and thanked him, taking a small sip and reminding herself not to put it down at any cost.

"Woah, does Archibald know you're out in a dress like that? Nice legs," Georgina suddenly sidled up beside Mackenzie, clearly having had a few drinks already. "This is the only reason I come to these events with Jack. He lets me have a free pass, if I ask politely." Mackenzie watched as her eyes scanned around the room.

"He never lets me go for Oz, though," Georgina continued, "Although, I'm surprised he hasn't taken anyone back to his room yet. Considering his track record. He must have his eyes on someone."

Mackenzie spent most of the night being dragged throughout the event on Georgina's arm. She quickly finished her first drink and two others, keeping both her hands and mouth occupied as Georgina did most of the socializing.

Mackenzie did her best to keep track of Mitch, taking mental notes of who he talked to and who he seemed to disappear with into private rooms. It was always different business men, shaking hands, laughing wildly.

She didn't realize that to everyone else at the party, it looked like she was just quietly watching him from afar all night.

"Okay, let's dial this up." She heard someone across the room exclaim and tear off his suit jacket, holding up a vial of what appeared to be white powder.

Mackenzie's eyes shot open.  _That is my cue to leave._

She excused herself from Georgina and slipped off to find the bathroom. She slammed back the remainder of whatever number drink was in her hand and closed the door behind her. She felt drunk. She didn't mean for that to happen, yet here she was, looking at herself in the mirror and trying to give herself a mental pep talk to escape the party.

She turned and leaned against the counter, pulling her phone out of her small clutch. She saw a sweet goodnight message from Nate again, and she let out a breath. Even the thought of him helped calm her down at times like this.

As she pulled the bathroom door open again, there stood Mitch Watson.

"Hey Mitch, I was just going to head to bed," she started to sweep past him. He stopped her, putting a hand on her shoulder and turning her back towards him. She looked up at him - his eyes were wide, staring at her with a smile on his face. It was hard to tell, but she thought perhaps she could see the remnants of that curious white powder near one of his nostrils.

_I feel unsafe. I need to leave. I feel unsafe._

"Love, I saw you watching me tonight. You don't have to hide whatever it if you want. Your desires." His voice was loud and slurred. She reached up to move his hand off her shoulder.

"You are imagining things, Mitch,"

He let out a low guttural noise, "See, I love how you call me Mitch instead of Oz like these dumb Americans."

_I need to leave._

She started to reach down to her clutch to grab her phone again, trying to think her way out of this confrontation.

"You're resisting me, most girls don't resist. That's what makes this all the more intense, love." As he said the word intense, he motioned between them. Mackenzie tried to take a step backwards, her back ending up against the wall. They were tucked into the back corner of the penthouse suite, no one else seemed to be nearby.

"Mitch, please, just let me leave. I don't want to make a scene."

"You won't make a scene at all." His playful smile disappeared. Mackenzie saw a shift in his eyes. He closed them for a moment, shaking his head. She let out a breath.

"I need to leave."

He took a step towards her, closing the small gap between them.

"Please, just let me show you a good time, love." He reached his hand up towards her, landing on her shoulder again. He moved it quickly towards her neck.

Mackenzie could feel her heart rate picking up as he got close to her.

_I need to leave. I need to leave. I need to leave. I need someone. I need Nate. I need to leave._

"I don't want a good time. Just let me leave and we'll forget all of this. Everything."

She felt an immediate relief as he lifted his hand off of her, creating a small space between them. Just as she moved to slip away from him, his hand returned quickly, this time grasping the base of her throat. He pressed his body against hers, trapping her.

"I invited you here for a reason, Mackenzie." His voice was low as he spoke through his teeth. She took gasped as he applied pressure onto her throat. She knew she had to get herself out of this one. She did her best to breath in as she pulled her arms up, freeing herself from his body weight, to push him away from her, sending his whole body across the hall from her. She didn't bother staying to see his reaction, as she bolted from the hallway and weaved through the room towards the door.

She brought her hand up to her neck, where his hand had just been, doing her best to control her breathing. She didn't bother waiting for the elevator, pushing into the stairway and hurrying down a few flights to her floor. She ran to her room and locked the door behind her, shutting off all the lights and slinking onto the cold tile bathroom floor. She could feel a panic attack coming.

What had she gotten herself into?

**xoxoxo**

_Everyone story needs a bad guy, you know. And soon enough, Mackenzie is going to need her hero._


	18. Chapter 18

' _I need to talk to you ASAP. Nate's picking me up at the airport - when can we meet?'_

' _Come to the office when you have time. I'll be there late.'_

Mackenzie didn't leave her hotel room the next morning until she absolutely had to. She hadn't slept well the night before, understandably.

She arranged her own transportation to the airport and upon arrival switched her seat on the plane. She ended up in Economy instead but she didn't mind.

As she was waiting to board the plane, Mitch Watson finally appeared near the gate, looking worse for wear. He approached Mackenzie when he noticed her.

"Love, I want to apologize

"Stop. I don't want to talk about it."

"Listen, I went a little hard last night and don't have much recall over what happened. I remember you hurrying away from me."

"You're joking."

"Miss Humphrey, if we're going to work together, we need to clear this up." She could tell he was annoyed with her reactions.

Mackenzie's chest started to heave as he looked at her. She didn't need to talk to him. She didn't owe him anything. As she heard the overhead speakers call for boarding, she just turned to walk away from him.

"Mackenzie." She felt him grab her wrist to stop her.

"Don't touch me. Ever again." She pulled herself free from his hand and hurried away, weaving through the crowd to wait on the far side of the gate.

* * *

Seeing Nate smiling as he waited for her outside the airport terminal was enough to make Mackenzie's knees buckle. Sure, she had only been gone for almost three days, but seeing him reminded her of all the good things in her life.

He wrapped his arms around her as she approached, laying a kiss on the top of her head.

"I need to stop at the office and talk to Chuck," she told him as they slid into the back of the car.

"Sure." He looked up towards John who nodded as he began to drive.

"Is everything okay?" Nate gave her a concerned glance as he pulled her in close under his arm.

She nodded quickly, "Yeah, I just need to discuss a few things about the gala."

She didn't know what to do, truthfully. An executive for the company had assaulted her then denied having any recollection about his actions. She didn't want to work with him anymore. But she also knew Chuck was still plotting his takedown. So what was she to do?

She also didn't want to tell Nate. She didn't care about proving him to be right about Mitch Watson. She was just embarrassed by the whole thing. She did have a few drinks. Maybe she did give him the wrong impression.  _No, Mackenzie, he had no right to expect anything physical from you and he had no right to put his hands on you._

She just sighed quietly. She knew she shouldn't keep it from Nate.

Nate wanted to ask more questions but he bit his tongue. He wasn't sure if she was being completely honest but he didn't want to press.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Nate asked as they stepped into the elevator at Bass Industries.

Mackenzie swallowed the lump in her throat and gently smiled, "I'm just worried about the gala approaching so quickly. And I'm tired. I don't sleep well without you." She leaned in to him and pressed her lips against his.

Nate held her hand as they made their way into the office. Most of the staff seemed to have left for the day. She let go of his hand and stopped him as they reached Chuck's office. Chuck waved her in when he saw them there.

"Sorry, this is closed door."

Nate gave her another concerned look.

"I'm trying to keep some details a surprise, okay?" She gave him a playful smile. "Can you go find me a hot coffee in the staff lunch room?"

He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek before he wandered into the office. She smiled as she watched him leave.

Mackenzie shut the door behind her as she entered Chuck's office, her smile disappearing. She started to pace around the room, breathing as slowly as she could manage.

"What's going on?" Chuck leaned forward in his chair, a concerned look on his face.

"Did you know these conferences often end with weird after parties in penthouses?" She stopped pacing and dropped down into a chair across from Chuck. She quickly ran through the details of the party ending with the altercation with Mitch.

"Who was the person with the drugs? Did Mitch meet with him?"

"Is that what your takeaway is from this?" Mackenzie could hear her volume increasing but she was having a hard time stopping herself from yelling. "Chuck, he assaulted me."

"Yes, I heard that. And I'm sorry you were put in that position. I'm not glossing over that but I'm trying to collect evidence against him for one thing before I act irrationally and have him fired for misconduct." Chuck paused to gather his thoughts.

Mackenzie shook her head and let out a breath. "He talked to a bunch of people that night - the one with the illegal white powder worked for a supply chain, I think it was Edwardsons International. He sat with us at dinner, too."

"Thank you." Chuck started to type out a few things on his phone. "Now, I'm in a difficult position here. I can't just fire or reprimand Oz for what happened without unravelling this entire case against him."

"I can't work with him anymore."

"Mackenzie, I promise you that at the end of this mess, he'll get what he deserves. But in the meantime, I really need you to act like nothing happened."

"So, he gets away with attacking me in a dark hallway and putting his hands around my throat?!"

"Please, keep your voice down," Chuck's eyes were wide, urging her to be quiet. He stood up and walked over to his bar cart, pouring them both a generous few ounces.

"Here." He handed her the glass. "Please, just do this for me. I can't apologize enough for putting you in this position, I did not realize the extent of his drug habits nor did I mean to leave you vulnerable to him. Just give me a few weeks to get this all ironed out. He's not getting away with anything, I assure you."

Mackenzie sipped on her drink as she stared him down.

"I really appreciate your discretion. You have no idea." He paused. "And I would prefer you don't tell Nathaniel about all this."

Mackenzie sunk into her chair. She wanted to protest but it seemed useless. That was the worst part about this whole thing. She wanted to just cry in his arms.

"I'll tell Lydia you're working from home or the foundation office next week. I'm sure with the gala stuff ramping up you could use the time away from this office to work." Mackenzie knew that was his compromise to make up for this mess.

There was a knock at the door. Mackenzie turned to see Nate walking in, a paper cup of coffee in his hand.

"I see you opted for something stronger," Nate said, walking in to sit down beside her.

"Thank you," she placed her glass down to take the coffee from him instead. Nate gave her another concerned look. He was certain something was going on and the fact that she was adamant about having a closed door meeting with Chuck right when she got back worried him.

"You ready for your big meeting next week?" Chuck turned his attention to Nate. Chuck could tell Mackenzie was still unhappy with how their whole conversation played out but he knew she wouldn't continue it with Nate in the room.

"They just told me we're golfing in the afternoon when I get in so, yes, I'm ready. Mainly for the warm weather." Nate smiled as he leaned back in his chair. "I'm pretty confident they want to invest. They're looking to expand their scope on the East coast and we're the perfect partner."

Chuck smiled at his friend, raising his glass, "You've really grown this publication of yours, Nathaniel."

* * *

Mackenzie felt better just being around Nate - the glass of wine in her hand and the view of the city from his apartment helped too.

"Mack," Nate moved to stand beside his girlfriend as she looked out the large glass doors, "I'm sorry I keep asking but are you sure everything is okay?" He snaked his arm around her back. He could feel her relax at his touch.

"I'm just not sure if this is the type of work for me. If that conference is any indicator. I don't want to go to seedy parties disguised as a networking opportunity. I don't want to pretend seeing people drinking in excess and hiring escorts and doing coke is okay." She sighed and shook her head.

"Hey," he grabbed her drink and placed it on the coffee table, then pulled her into a hug. She felt her body relax even more as she held onto him. "I'm so sorry you felt uncomfortable - not every aspect of the finance industry is like that. But I will admit it's easy to get lost in that side of the world. My dad's history is a very real example of that."

She sighed. The last thing she wanted was to bring up old memories for Nate.

"Sorry, I guess I just need to grow up and realize there are pretty awful people in the world. You'd think I would have figured that out by now."

"I don't think there's anything wrong with having a positive outlook on things at times. But it doesn't hurt to have your guard up when you're in situations like that. Or leave when you feel unsafe."

"Well, I left when things didn't feel right. It's just...I left Boston because it turned into this nightmare of bad memories and I don't want that to happen here, too."

"Listen, Mack, you're a smart girl. This head on your shoulders is brilliant and I know after this internship you're going to do incredible things. I will take on the personal responsibility of sounding the alarm if I think you're headed down the wrong path."

Nate was concerned - one corporate conference typically wouldn't derail someone so drastically. Although he knew Mackenzie's battle with anxiety was more complicated than he could really wrap his head around.

Mackenzie just stayed close to Nate's chest, more than content in his embrace.

"I have to jump on a short conference call for work. Why don't you go have a nice hot shower then I'll give you a back rub?"

She pulled away from him and couldn't help but smile. It was hard not to feel guilty when Nate was trying so hard to care for her and make her feel better.

She did feel better after a hot shower. Nate's large steam shower was a familiar comfort. She let the hot water scorch her skin, in an attempt to wash any all the memories and unwanted physical touches of the last few days.

Mackenzie toweled off after her shower then climbed into Nate's bed. She could hear his voice echoing in the kitchen area, along with other muffled voices from his conference call. She didn't even bother getting fully dressed, pulling up the blankets to cover up in just a simple pair of black lace underwear.

"Everytime I get to walk in here and see you in that bed, I just can't help but smile." Mackenzie turned her eyes away from whatever boring sitcom was on the television and smiled at Nate. "Especially when you're undressed. "

She rolled her eyes as he climbed onto the bed beside her.

"How was your call?" she asked, as he leaned down to kiss her.

"Are you actually interested in hearing about it or are you just pretending to be interested but patiently waiting for the back rub?" He gave her a coy smile.

"I'm not going to lie - I definitely don't even remember who you said the call was with."

"Good thing you're so cute." He kissed her again, then shuffled off the bed. "Flip over." He disappeared out of the room for a moment.

When Nate came back, Mackenzie was flipped into her stomach, her hair pulled off to one side. Nate hurried over to her side. He had a small jarred candle in one hand and a bottle of massage oil in the other. Mackenzie did her best to push away the intrusive thoughts of Nate doing this exact thing for former partners.  _Your memories and moments with Nate are your own. Don't overthink this, Mackenzie._

She could tell he was excited about the whole thing. She could see a flash of his smile in the dimmed lights of the room and the flickering of the candle.

He kneeled beside her on the bed, rubbing some of the oil onto his hands then finally, at long last, getting to touch her. She felt herself relax again as he hands swept over her back. She lost herself in his touches as she laid there. This was what she needed - a close, personal touch from someone she loved.

Someone she loved.

She gulped as the thought crossed her mind again and again.

"I really missed you," Mackenzie said quietly, as she turned her head. She let her head sink into the pillow as Nate's hands moved up towards her neck. She felt him shift and straddle her, continuing to apply pressure along her shoulders and the base of her neck.

_I love Nate. This can't be real. This can't be real._

"It was only two days." Nate paused. "I missed you, too, Mack. I always miss you when you're not around."

_Mackenzie Humphrey, love is honest. Love is kind. Love conquers all. You can't love Nate and not be honest. Tell him why you're hurting. Tell him what happened. Let him help you._

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying again and again to shut up the thoughts consuming her mind.

"Nate," she started to form a string of words.  _Tell him._

"Yes?" His voice was soft.

Nate's hands continued to move and as they touched her neck again, Mackenzie felt herself freeze. A frenzy of feelings washed over her: Mitch Watson's hands on her throat.  _I invited you here for a reason._

"Nate," she repeated his name again, her voice louder but shaking. "Nate, I… I'm…"

Nate lifted his hands off her, "Mack?"

"Nate," she heard her voice still talking but her brain started to fog over. She felt her chest tighten, keeping her eyes tightly closed.

Nate quickly climbed off her back and sat on his knees beside her. He could see her hands curled into fists, clutching onto the pillow under her.

"Mack, talk to me, what's going on?"

She pushed herself up off the pillow and maneuvered to sit on the side of the bed, leaning forward and breathing heavy. She felt like collapsing on the floor, like her chest was going to cave in.

"Mack?"

* * *

Nate had been pacing in his office between meetings all morning.

Last night, he had to watch his girlfriend suffer through a panic attack and it was unbearable.

_Mackenzie was sitting on the floor of Nate's bedroom, her back against the bed. She was draped in a blanket, clutching a glass of water. Nate had really surprised her through the whole episode - gently rubbing her back, encouraging her to breathe and count to ten again and again._

" _It's been a while since I've blacked out during a panic attack," she said quietly, leaning over to rest on Nate's shoulder._

" _Mack, you don't deserve to suffer like this again and again…"_

He was grateful he had once Googled 'how to help someone having a panic attack' but he wasn't an expert.

She had explained to him pretty clearly that she was feeling stressed out and the upcoming anniversary of the shooting was causing her duress.

He believed her, of course, but in the back of his mind he was worried something else was going on.

He wanted to make sure his Valentine's Day surprise for her was perfect. He wanted her to have a completely stress free day. Especially considering Sunday was the shooting anniversary and he left for his work trip Monday. He was determined to fill her with love and romance and good company all weekend.

* * *

"Are you sure this outfit isn't too casual?" She was in a simple black skirt, sheer leggings, and a light knit maroon sweater. Her hair was down, straight, shining.

Nate couldn't help but smile. It was Saturday evening and he had just arrived at the loft, ready to pick Mackenzie up for their date night. He watched as she walked in and out of her room, to the bathroom, then back to her room. He found her indecision cute, although he did have a timeline he wanted to stick to.

He could tell she was in a much better mood than the few days prior. It seemed that taking a break from her work life and shifting her focus to school and the gala was helping. Not to mention Nate sat with her on Friday and held her hand when she finally called a therapist to make an appointment to deal with her anxiety and panic attacks.

"Oh! I have something for you," she paused in front of him, finally dressed in a complete outfit. She stopped to kiss him. He leaned in and pulled her closer, his hands cradling the back of her head.

"Mack, you're adorable but we have an 7:45 reservation."

"I'll be quick," she kissed him again, "I promise."

He watched her scurry into Dan's old room. She popped back out a moment later, holding a large photo frame.

"So, since your apartment walls are incredibly bare, I thought this would look nice in your spare room," she started, pausing in front of him. "But you don't have to hang it up there. You might even want it at the office, since you spend so much time at your desk. Although, it's something I want to look at sometimes too and-

"Babe, you're rambling."

"Did you just call me babe?"

"Sorry. It just sort of happened. Do you hate it?" Nate winced as he tried to read her reaction. She just smiled at him.

"I don't hate it," she decided. She finally turned the frame around to show him. Mounted in the frame was a set of eight vintage Yankees baseball cards. "They aren't perfect and I know it's not really romantic and honestly some of these might be reprints but I know you love the Yankees."

"Mack," he reached over to grab the frame, "This is incredible. I love it. I actually don't own any vintage Yankee memorabilia. The Captain is going to be so jealous."

Mackenzie watched him look at the frame in awe, his eyes sweeping over each card. She was so relieved. Her brain had been so weird the last few days, she almost forgot she had arranged for the frame to be done a few weeks ago. Nate had been such a support for her the last while, she knew she had to get him something he would never get for himself.

"Also, I just want to point out," he carefully placed the frame on the kitchen island, "Going out of your way to think of a gift for me, any gift, will always be romantic." He pulled her in again, kissing her lips once more.

They remained there for a few moments, until she pulled away and whispered in his ear. "Oh, I also bought a blind fold and handcuffs." She heard him let out a low moan, pulling her in close to his body.

"Well, if I didn't have this reservation we would be breaking those in right now." He grabbed her ass in his hand. "Go get your jacket."

Something had shifted in them that night. Perhaps it was the romance of Valentine's Day, even though they were two days early, or the endlessly growing connection. But in Nate's town car, they could hardly keep their hands off of each other.

They pulled up outside a bar on Lexington. Nate gripped her hand tightly as they moved from the car to the inside of the bar, whispering to the person at the door as they were lead to a small booth in the back of the restaurant.

They sat on the same side of the booth, still kissing each other again and again as Nate's hands roamed across her thighs. She paused and pulled away from him.

Nate Archibald was easily one of the most handsome males she had ever encountered. His hair was so effortlessly swept away from his beautiful sparkling eyes, his smile was radiating a sensual energy. Everytime he looked at her, really looked at her, she felt her stomach filled with butterflies and her knees buckle. Still, after all these moments with him. She was just so attracted to him. What made him even more appealing was his genuine heart, his warm honesty, his moral compass.

She loved him. In hundreds of ways. In his kind words to the waiter, his bumbling confused statements when he talked to her about school, his true self always shined through and she loved it.

She loved him.

She loved how he cared for her, how he met her needs - outside and inside the bedroom. How he ran his hands along every curve of her body and touched her, and felt her, and learned her.

"Look who's staring at who now, Humphrey," he whispered to her, leaning in to kiss her lips once more time. She glanced at the table to see him sliding a drink towards her. She didn't even hear him order drinks.

"I can't help it - you're just so damn handsome, Archibald." He reached out his hand and touched her cheek gently, the corner of his lips turning up into a smile.

"Do you remember last week - Blair's assistant called and asked for your ring size."

Mackenzie nodded, brining her cocktail up to her lips, "Apparently there will be gloves to go with my dress for the gala? Or some other accessories Blair has planned out?"

Nate couldn't help but laugh at her comment, "Actually, I wanted to make sure this would fit." He reached into the pocket of his suit jacket and revealed a navy blue box. He popped it open and revealed a ring. Mackenzie's eyes grew wide as she looked at it: a circular cut bright purple amethyst on a shining silver band. She looked from the ring to him again and again.

"Nate, this is too much," she said quickly, "You did not have to get me jewelry."

"Mack," he took the ring out of the box and grabbed her right hand, sliding it onto the middle finger, "I know losing your other ring was really disappointing. I know it meant a lot to you, so I wanted to replace it with something special."

She stared down at the ring as it sparkled on her finger. It was just perfect. Nate Archibald was just perfect.  _I love Nate Archibald._

"One more thing," he continued, reaching into his pocket again, this time revealing a small white envelope. "How do you feel about Mumford & Sons?" She gave him a curious look, taking another sip of her cocktail.

"I like them enough, I guess," she said slowly. She wasn't sure what he was getting at, but she didn't want to offend them.

He opened the envelope and pulled out two brightly coloured tickets, "Do you like them enough to listen to them as the musical guest on Saturday Night Live..tonight?"

"What?" She reached out and grabbed the tickets from him, reading the words out loud. "Hosted by Chris Hemsworth with musical guest Mumford & Sons?" She tried to contain her excitement without screaming.

"Should I be offended you reacted louder to the tickets than you did to the ring?" he laughed, taking a sip of his own drink and gazing at her excited face.

Mackenzie Humphrey was a surprise from the very beginning. She was a refreshing soul, a reset button to the poor dating history of his past. He could watch her smile for the rest of his life, if she would let him.

He loved her laugh. He loved her hips. He loved the small ticklish spot on her ribcage. He loved to trace his fingers down her neck, and kiss the soft skin on her shoulders. He loved when she went onto small rambles about math and when she debated him about 80s movies or how she insisted they cook dinner themselves every now and then.

He loved her. He hated being apart from her and every instance of his day when something good or bad happened, he wanted to call her about it. He wanted her thoughts.

He wanted to protect her, and show her off to the world. He wanted to help her heal, and create new, strong, happy memories for her.

He watched her carefully put the tickets on the table then look at her ring again. She looked up to meet his gaze. He looked entranced by her very existence.

"Nate," she said his name quietly, "Nathaniel Fitzwilliam Archibald." She grabbed her drink and finished it in one quick gulp. She giggled as she said Fitzwilliam.

"Are you making fun of my name, Humphrey?" He leaned in close to her again. She looked into his eyes. They were so soft, to her.

"Thank you," she said quietly, still. "For everything you do for me. I'm sorry I'm hard to love."

He reached his hands up and cradled her face, "Shhh. No. Macroeconomics is hard. Loving you is the easiest thing, the best thing, I get to do."

"Nate,"

"I love you, Mackenzie."

"I love you, too."

* * *

Sunday, February 13 was exactly one year since Edward Baker had brought a gun to university. One year since the lives of hundreds of people changed forever.

As Mackenzie laid in bed on that Sunday morning, her head resting on Nate's chest as he quietly slept, she couldn't help but feel grateful for the past year of her life. She had grown immensely since that day - in good and bad ways. She was still healing, so were many of the victims and families, but she knew the transformation of her life had lead to some positivity.

She spent the entire day with her boyfriend.

Nate was determined to keep her distracted, but to let her talk about it, if she wanted to. An article by Suzanne Dunn was published that morning, with Mackenzie's name listed as one of the classroom victims and that was it. He would never tell Mackenzie, but he had paid the New York Post a large sum of money to keep them from contacting her anymore.

To him, her security and privacy had no price tag. He would always protect the woman he loved.

Despite leaving the morning of Valentine's Day, Nate still managed to surprise her with flowers at the loft. She had spent the morning at the Bass Foundation office finalizing the guest list and agenda for the approaching gala, and returned home in the afternoon to the delivery. She immediately called to thank him, overwhelmed yet again by his generosity and caring thoughts.

"Hi handsome," she sang into the phone as he answered. He had left early in the morning to travel south to Houston. The next few days of his were planned out with his new potential investor - meetings, golfing, dinners, decisions.

"I hope you don't think the flowers were too much," Nate said through the phone. "I just want you to think of me when you see them."

"I think about you all the time as it is, Nate," she laughed.

"Excited to help the babysitting team tonight?"

"Well, Henry is easily the next cutest guy in Manhattan, so not a terrible double date." Mackenzie was going to the Waldorf apartment that night with Dan and Serena. Not that it took three people to babysit one 15 month old, but Blair and Chuck were going out for the evening and Henry's nanny was off, too. Dorota would usually cover but she was out of the country visiting family.

"I will chase any man away from you, even my godson."

Mackenzie was just hoping to get to the apartment after Chuck and Blair had already left for the evening. She hadn't talked to him since she returned home from the trip and she was still irritated with how their conversation had gone. She had done an effective job shutting out Mitch Watson, including deleting multiple emails that had come in from him, but she had a harder time avoiding Chuck.

She just wanted the whole situation dealt with. She trusted Chuck enough to know that he had some sort of plan, but she couldn't risk it coming at the cost of her safety again. And after being completely honest with Nate about her feelings, using the big L word once and for all, she was feeling even more guilt about not telling him everything.

She was hoping by the time the gala was done,  _everything_  would be done.

* * *

By the time she finally got to the Waldorf apartment, Henry was still running around but his parents were already out.

Mackenzie was greeted by the small boy as she stepped off the elevator. She scooped him up in her arms and gave him a few kisses on his head, causing loud laughter to come out of his mouth. Dan followed in his path a few moments later, a small stuffed toy in his hands.

"Mack, hey," he seemed grateful she had appeared, "Henry got away from me. You know, this was all Serena's idea yet she's not the one doing the running around."

Mackenzie smiled but rolled her eyes at her brother, "But you have Milo experience, Dan."

"Rena!" Henry called out as Serena joined them in the lobby.

"Hey Mack," Serena smiled brightly at her, then to Henry.

"Hey, can I talk to you about something?" Mackenzie handed Henry over to Dan, who just sighed as Henry tugged at his hair.

"Dan, we've gotta get him to bed soon. I'll meet you upstairs!" Serena smiled at her boyfriend then took Mackenzie's arm. She lead her into the kitchen where some snacks were laid out on the counter.

"So, what kind of romantic gestures did you get for Valentine's Day?" Serena started, raising her eyebrows up and down.

Mackenzie just laughed and extended her hand out to display her ring to Serena.

"Oh my god, Nate has always been such a good gift giver," Serena exclaimed, nodding in approval.

"He also told me he loves me," Mack blurted out afterwards, her cheeks flushed red.

Serena threw her hands up, "Finally! This has been such a slow painful thing to watch when it's been obvious for months."

Mackenzie just rolled her eyes. She paused to snack on a few grapes from the table.

"But?" Serena leaned on the counter and looked at Mackenzie. "What's going on?"

Mackenzie just sighed, "There's something I haven't told him. And I think if I do, he's going to be pretty upset I didn't tell him already."

Serena pursed her lips and thought for a moment. "If there's a good reason for not telling him, I'm sure he'll understand. But I think honesty is sooo important. Dan and I learned that way later than we should have."

"I just don't want to hurt him."

"I hate to break it to you, but hurt is inevitable. No one gets to decide who hurts them but you can control how he finds out about whatever you haven't told him yet. You're both going to hurt sometimes, but if you have each other to fight through it, it's easier."

Mackenzie just swallowed as she took in Serena's advice. She nodded finally. She loved Nate. And she trusted him above anyone else, especially Chuck Bass. So she needed to just tell him everything. "Thanks Serena."

* * *

Mackenzie woke up Wednesday morning to a missed call and slew of messages from Nate.

' _Mack, please call me! That photo is not what it looks like.'_

Photo? Before she could even hit dial, she got a message from her coworker, Viv. It just had a link to a website.

Mackenzie opened the link and her jaw dropped open. In the photo was Nate, hands linked together with some girl, leading her into a car. A papparazzi photo.

Her breath picked up when she read the caption:

' _Rising country star Kara Montgomery spotted outside Houston nightclub Moonlight with Manhattan Prince and online journalism mogul Nate Archibald'_

**xoxoxo**


	19. Chapter 19

Mackenzie couldn't stop staring at the picture of Nate and Kara Montgomery.

She trusted Nate above anything else, so she knew there had to be a reasonable explanation for the photo op. She called him when she woke up but it went straight to his voicemail.

Mackenzie dragged herself out of bed, her head foggy with what to do. Before she could even get in the shower and start her day, her phone started to buzz.

First, a phone call from Dan.

"Mack, hey, are you okay? What happened?"

Mackenzie just sighed. "Nothing? Nate's just off on a business trip and I'm waiting on an explanation for that photo."

"So you and Nate didn't break up?"

"What? No, of course not." Mackenzie could feel her chest heave. Is this what everyone is thinking now?

After finishing the call with her brother, Mackenzie silenced her phone and got ready for the day.

She didn't know much about Kara Montgomery. She had a few catchy country pop songs on the charts and was notorious for moving on from men quickly, then writing new songs about their relationship. So, of course the internet was blowing up about a photo of her with a new presumably eligible bachelor.

Mackenzie didn't think of Nate as someone worthy of paparazzi photos and fame. But he did have some weight in the press world and it wasn't entirely surprising to see people speculating about his relationship status. She didn't sign up for this when she started dating him but she was trying to take it in stride.

She trusted Nate. And she had more important things to worry about until she talked to him.

As she was heading to the subway station, she got a message from Eric.

' _I'm not trying to stir the pot here but do you follow Kara Montgomery on Instagram? Nate's in her post from last night.'_

Mackenzie let out a groan and did her best to resist checking the post. She tried to call Nate again and sent him a message instead.

' _Just going to hope this girl needs some new song material. Call meeeee.'_

Mackenzie was heading to Bass Industries to iron out some gala details. She had been putting off visiting the office but she needed signatures on a few big invoices. She was hoping to avoid both Chuck and Mitch but their interactions were inevitable.

When she got to the building, she made her way to her desk in the office with Viv and Drew. She had asked them to volunteer at the gala and was grateful to have them on her team.

"Hello, my two favourite people," Mackenzie greeted them, dropping her bag onto her workstation and sitting down. She turned her chair to them as they said their hellos.

"Before we talk gala, we need to talk Montgomery," Drew started, pulling out his phone.

"We do not," Mackenzie replied to him, rolling her eyes. She did not want to hear another word about Kara Montgomery until she talked to Nate.

Rufus messages Mackenzie next about the photo. As if her dad suddenly cared about the romantic life of some country singer.

' _Mack, I'm sorry about you and Nate.'_

' _Nothing to be sorry about? We didn't break up. That photo doesn't mean anything. Thanks for speculating, though.'_

Later that morning, she finally made her way to Chuck's office for their check in meeting. Mackenzie's brain was reeling by that point, growing more and more annoyed that Nate couldn't even find the time to call her back.

"This meeting is purely gala related, I don't want to talk about that photo," Mackenzie announced as she walked into Chuck's office, closing the door behind her.

She watched as Chuck just laughed once she was sitting in front of him, "Nathaniel is an idiot."

"You know, he hasn't even called me to talk about this whole mess," she lamented, running her hand through her hair. She took a deep breath and sat up straight.  _No, this is not what this meeting is about._ Mackenzie reminded herself she was still unhappy with Chuck and the Mitch Watson mess.

"Never mind. Doesn't matter. I need your signature on these invoices." She extended a folder across the desk. "Sponsor recognition, alcohol order, event space rental, half the catering bill and the decor."

Chuck glanced over the documents and scratched his signature into each sheet. "You know you need signatures from Oz on these, too."

"I'm aware." Her response was curt.

"Mackenzie," Chuck put his pen down and looked at her, "I know you're in an unfavorable position her but after the gala, we'll be able to-

"After the gala, I won't be working here anymore, Chuck. So, let's just get this whole thing over with." She felt her heart rate rise after she spoke. She wasn't sure where that response had come from, but she was glad to have said it.

Chuck just pursed his lips together and handed her back the documents.

Mackenzie stood up and took the documents back from him. "Everything is on track for the event. We're hoping to surpass the donation goal." She nodded her head at him then turned on her heel and left the room.

She headed straight to the washroom after leaving Chuck's office. She splashed cold water onto her face and took a few deep breaths. This day was not going as planned and it was taking every ounce of energy not to burst into tears. She just had to get signatures from Mitch, then she would be clear to work from home for the rest of the day.

Mackenzie checked her phone again. Nothing from Nate. She did have a message from his sister.

' _I assume this is just a weird moment caught by someone's camera? God, I can't stand that girls music. I can only imagine the lyrics now: golden eyes, hair so great, I thought it'l be us forever, Nate'_

Mackenzie finally laughed and smiled at her sister's thoughts. That was just what she needed to get through the next ten minutes.

She stopped outside Mitch's office and asked his receptionist if he was available.

"Come on in, Miss Humphrey," she heard his smooth Australian voice call from inside the door. She plastered a smile on her face and walked inside.

"Close the door, love?" His request sounded more like a demand.

"No," Mackenzie was firm in her response, standing at his desk. "I just need your signature on these. It won't take long."

Mitch looked at her, eyes squinted. He took the documents from her and glanced down. "Let's go through line by line."

Mackenzie sighed, "I'm not sure that's necessary. I can clarify anything you have a concern about."

"Line by line," Mitch repeated himself, standing up and walking to close the office door himself. Mackenzie felt herself stiffen as she sat in a chair across from his desk.

"Mackenzie, just relax," Mitch said slowly, as he walked back towards her. He rested his hands on her shoulders but she immediately pulled forward and shrugged him off.

"Don't touch me," she hissed, standing up.

"Come on, isn't your whole charade with Archibald over? I think all of North America has seen that photo now," Mitch smirked at her.

"Regardless of my relationship, you have no right to touch me," she continued. "You can courier those back to the foundation office."

"Listen, love, I'm not sure what you're talking about," he replied to her, raising his hands up to defend himself. "You're hysterical."

She just rolled her eyes and headed to the door. As she walked out, she could feel her phone buzzing with a call.

Nate. Finally.

She pulled it up to her ear to answer.

"Nate, hi," she rushed her words, feeling the pace of her breaths pick up.

"Mack, I'm so happy to hear your voice. I am so sorry about taking so long to get back to you."

"It's fine," she walked down the hall into the staff kitchen area to continue to talk.

"It turns out Kara Montgomery is the God daughter of my new investor, and -

"Wait, what? Did everything go as planned? He signed on to invest?"

"Yes but that's-

"Nate, that's incredible! I'm so proud of you."

There was a delay before his response, "God, I love you."

Mackenzie couldn't help but smile at his words. "I don't care about Kara. Well, it does reaffirm that you have a thing for blondes."

"Mack."

"Nate, I'm joking. I'm more just annoyed everyone thinks we broke up because of one rogue picture all over the Internet."

"I was just helping her escape the nightclub quickly when some photographers got wind of her whereabouts. Honestly. That's the whole truth. I don't want to keep any of those details from you."

Mackenzie felt her chest tighten up at his words. She owed it to herself to be honest with him about Mitch, too. "You're a good guy, Archibald."

"I miss you."

"I miss you too. Would it be weird if I hung out at your place tomorrow night?"

"Of course not. Then I know you'll be there when I get home. I'm already looking forward to it."

* * *

Nate spent most of his flight home working on something for his column. He had been thinking about it for a while, but wasn't sure how to talk about. One of the takeaways from his last meeting with his new investors was how much they liked the real reporting of The Spectator. The honest opinions, the hard topics. They wanted to see more, the wanted to dig deeper.

He opened up his laptop and reviewed the document sitting on his screen:  _The Unseen Consequence of a School Shooting…_

* * *

Nate was leaning up against his headboard, in his own bed, under his blankets, with the woman he loved tucked under his arm. Four days away from his normal life in Manhattan had thrown him for a loop but coming home to see Mackenzie wrapped up in a blanket on his couch was all he needed to put his mind at ease.

_Nate didn't waste any time when he walked into his apartment. He spotted Mackenzie sitting on the couch with her laptop on her legs, her hair pushed to one side._

_She smiled at the sight of him, her eyes lighting up. She moved her laptop and pulled away the blanket, revealing bare legs._

_Nate did not waste any time._

_He tore off his suit jacket, kicked off his shoes and unbuckled his belt as quickly as he could. He was just down to his boxers, socks, shirt and tie by the time he met her at the couch._

_They didn't even speak before their mouths met. Mackenzie moaned softly at the touch of his hands on her, as his lips swept across her neck and shoulders. He pulled her T-shirt over his head and unhooked her bra in seconds, his hands exploring every inch of her as if they had been apart for months._

" _I love you," she whispered, biting at his lips as she reached to loosen his tie and unbutton his shirt. "God, I love you."_

_Moments later she was straddling Nate on the couch. She wanted to be as close to him as possible. She wanted to live in that moment forever._

_She could feel his fingers tracing down her back as she moved on top of him, his nails digging in every so often, leaving long marks along her spine. He bit at her everywhere he could - lips, collarbone, nipples. He wanted to be consumed by all of her._

_By the time they moved to his bed, he moved hard. He moved fast. Every touch had a purpose, every thrust ensured she felt him. All of him._

_She had all of Nate._

Mackenzie laid under Nate's arm, still very naked under the sheets. He was scrolling through some emails on his phone with his free hand. She was softly humming as she traced her fingers along his torso.

"So, have you seen your gala dress yet?" Nate asked finally, disappointed he had to interrupt her humming.

"I haven't yet. I think I'm going for a fitting tomorrow though."

"Good. I need to know the colour scheme so we can match."

Mackenzie smiled and squeezed onto him for a moment. She swallowed hard as she thought further about the gala and what she should do after to finish her required hours. She had no obligation to Bass Industries.

"So, I need to tell you something," she said suddenly, sitting up in bed. "Wait, I need to get dressed."

"What? Are you leaving?" Nate's face dropped into a confused frown.

She shook her head as she walked away from the bed, reaching into her bag for some clothes. "No, but I don't want to have this conversation naked." She was already feeling vulnerable enough.

"Okay." Nate just watched as she pulled on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt. She knelt on the bed beside him.

She took a deep breath as she looked over at him, then shut her eyes.

"Mack, what's going on?" Nate's voice was low, soft, concerned.

"I don't want you to get mad," she started.

Nate reached out and grabbed her hands, "Just talk to me."

"You were right," she let out a breath, "About Mitch."

She opened her eyes to look at Nate as he squeezed her hands. His face still looked confused. "Did something happened?" She didn't reply. "Mack, what happened?"

She pulled her hands away from him and crossed her arms over her chest, squeezing tightly. She took a few deep breaths before continuing.

"At the conference last week, there were a few things he did. Harmless enough for me to just ignore them at first. I woke up on the plane and his hand was on my knee, then he tried to make a move over drinks. Then he offered me a key to his hotel room." She gulped as she watched Nate take in her words.

"I said no again and again and he apologized for overstepping. Then at that party…" she trailed off, avoiding his eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you last week."

"Mack, what happened at that party?" Nate's words were gentle, but stern.

"Nothing! Well, not nothing." She did her best to breathe deeply. "He cornered me at the party In the back. Alone. He tried to... I don't know. I can only imagine what he wanted but I told him no. He pushed me against the wall, he put his.. he put his hands around my neck before I managed to push him off me." She reached one of her hands up to touch her neck. She looked over at Nate, who was racing to get out of the bed.

"Why didn't you tell me about this, Mackenzie?"

"Chuck asked me not to because -

"I'm sorry - you told Chuck? Before me? Is he a part of this relationship? What happened to telling each other things even if it's uncomfortable, Mack?"

She couldn't even respond before he continued. "Chuck has no right to tell you to keep things from me. And how is this Australian bastard still employed at his company? God, I'm going to kill him. And Chuck." Mackenzie stayed where she was on the bed as she watched Nate get dressed.

"Nate, I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you but -"

"But you didn't." Mackenzie could hear the pain in Nate's voice. This is exactly what she was trying to avoid - causing Nate any hurt. He didn't deserve it.

She watched him head out of his room, and soon heard him talking on the phone.

"Where are you going?" She followed him out and watched him put his jacket on.

"To find Chuck."

Without another word or look at her, he was out the door. It slammed behind him.

* * *

Chuck had kept the penthouse at the Empire. It was his makeshift extra office, a getaway for him and Blair, and an escape when he needed privacy.

He usually worked late Thursday evenings and the penthouse was the best place to keep his mind occupied and work at his own pace.

On this particular Thursday, he was pouring over all the bank records from the Foundation over the last few years. He had noted the patterns Mackenzie had pointed out to him before but was stumped as to how they all evened out. Something was missing. And he was certain Mitch Watson was the driving force behind the unease.

He had received a short text from Nate asking his whereabouts. He told him, but was growing concerned about his lack of follow up.

Nate rushed through the elevator into the suite some time later. Chuck could sense his anger right away.

"Nathaniel, what's going on?" Chuck shuffled his papers into a folder, and stood up to face his friend.

"Give me one good reason not to punch you right now," Nate started, rolling up one of his sleeves.

"Woah, I can think of many reasons." Chuck paused. "I assume Miss Humphrey finally broke."

Nate's eyebrows raised and he charged at his friend, "How could you put her in that position? How can you let that asshole get away with assaulting her?" Chuck pushed him away before his fist could get close to him.

"Pull yourself together, Archibald." Chuck hissed out. "I'm sorry your girlfriend has become a pawn in this mess but -"

"You put her in this mess, Chuck!"

Chuck raised his hands up in front of him, innocently, "I'm trying to catch someone who's stealing money from my foundation. I never intended for her to get hurt along the way." He hesitated. "She's a grown woman, Nate. I always encouraged her to leave when the situation got questionable."

"You piece of shit." Nate pointed at him, shaking his head. "Don't act like you didn't pressure her into this whole thing. After everything she's been through."

"I assure you Mitch Watson is going to get what he deserves."

"At the sake of my girlfriends well being?" Nate was yelling now, his hands balled into fists at his side.

"I'm sorry. If I could go back and do things differently I would."

Nate didn't even respond. He just rolled his eyes and turned away from his friend. He walked back towards the elevator, unsure what to do about all the rage pent up in his chest.

"Nathaniel, maybe you need to think about why you're here yelling at me instead of comforting her."

* * *

Mackenzie burst into tears after Nate stormed out. She wasn't sure if she should stay or go back to the loft. She wasn't sure if his anger was worth fighting more if he came back, but she also didn't want to be alone out in Brooklyn.

She just didn't know what was going on in Nate's head.

Maybe he thought she was pushing him away because she didn't tell him the truth. Maybe he didn't believe her when she said nothing happened. Maybe this was the end of it.

She wished she could go back in time to an hour ago and tell the story differently. Let Nate ask more questions.

_You should have just told him after it happened. Why didn't you just tell him?_

Mackenzie was struggling - hard. The worst part of the whole thing was the lack of comfort from Nate. When all she wanted was for him to hold her, talk to her about what happened - his anger took over and he just left.

She searched through Nate's cupboards for something to take the edge off. She found a bottle of rum and twisted it open. She sunk down onto the kitchen floor, her knees pulled up to her chest. She was taking slow, controlled breaths as she sat there in the darkness.

The rum burned as it went down her throat but afterwards she felt herself relax for a moment. She wasn't sure what was happening now. She kept glancing down at her phone in the hopes that Nate might call but nothing came through.

She just sat there, on the kitchen floor, in silence. She occasionally took another sip from the bottle. She wasn't sure how long she sat there, sniffling.

Eventually, she heard the door open.

"Mack?" It was Nate's voice. She heard him walk in, kick off his shoes, take off his jacket. "Mackenzie?"

"I'm over here," she said, hugging her knees to her chest. "I wasn't sure if I should stay or go. The next train comes in 13 minutes if you want me to leave."

Nate walked into the kitchen and sunk down onto the floor beside her. "I don't want you to leave." He paused. "I'm an idiot."

Mackenzie didn't respond to him. She passed him the bottle of rum. He laughed quietly and took a sip.

"There you were - telling me something important, something that has still left an impact on you and all I can manage to do is get angry and leave. I'm so mad, Mack. That you were even put in that position. That Chuck let it happen. That some asshole thinks his position of power gives him the right to touch you. That you didn't think to tell me. The whole thing makes me angry. Here." He pointed to his chest. "And the last thing you needed was for me to just run away angry instead of, I don't know, asking if you were okay, like what a normal person would do."

Mackenzie sighed, "I should have just told you."

Nate just nodded, "You should have. But I feel like aside from Chuck, there's a reason why you didn't." He offered the bottle to her. She shook her head and let out a breath.

"I think I'm embarrassed about the whole situation. Or ashamed. Maybe both." She sighed again. "The last thing I want you to think is that I didn't do enough to stop it from happening. Like, I mislead him or gave him mixed signals. And the idea of telling you, and hurting you, was the biggest thing stopping me." She paused. "Serena told me hurt is inevitable."

"Of course it is. And if I'm being a realist, this may not be the only time you hurt me. Even unintentionally. And I may hurt you. But I think it's up to us to work through it.  _Together._ " He put his hand on her knee. She put her hand on top of his.

"I'm sorry."

"So let me finally ask you: are you okay? Did he hurt you?" Nate's voice was quiet.

"No, not physically." She leaned her head onto his shoulder. "I'll be okay soon. Once this gala is over I'm not going to continue on at Bass Industries. I'll figure something else out."

They sat still for a moment. "So, did you punch Chuck?"

Nate couldn't help but laugh, "No, but I did yell at him. A lot. I'm still not okay with how this all played out."

"I know, I know," she replied, squeezing his hand. "I yelled at him, too."

"I just can't stand the idea of you being hurt. If something were to happen to you..." Nate said slowly. "I've gotten used to having you around, Humphrey."

"God, you're romantic."

"I love you, you know."

* * *

After class Friday, Mackenzie headed to Waldorf Designs to try on the dress Blair has designed.

The studio was delicate and romantic, Mackenzie imagined Blair designers it herself with Paris in mind. There was soft pinks accent with bold neons throughout the building.

Two assistants helped Mackenzie into the dress. She stepped out into the display room to meet Blair, and she finally looked at herself in the mirror. Mackenzie's jaw dropped open at the sight of the gown.

"Blair, this is incredible," Mackenzie said in a whisper, her hands gently falling over the dress. The black bodice was snug on her chest with a generous sweetheart neckline. Across the fabric on her torso was a hand stitched rose design, in purple jeweled tones. The bottom of the dress was layers of sheer black fabric that fell all the way down to her ankles. It had a generous slit up the side.

"I've noticed you favour short skirts but this called for floor length," Blair commented, smiling at her work. "I'm developing a collection called  _Rose by Waldorf_  and this will be the first piece."

"That's my middle name, actually," Mackenzie couldn't stop looking in the mirror.

"Oh, I know. Nate talks about you constantly." Blair replied, rolling her eyes, "I know you like purple, too. It's a bit too trendy for me but I made it work. Just a few adjustments to the skirt and you'll be perfect."

"Thanks so much, Blair."

Mackenzie headed straight to the foundation office afterwards. She wanted to sort out a few more accounting details before the gala. It was still over a week away but time seemed to be running out.

She greeted the team at the Foundation team when she arrived then dig into some files waiting on her desk. She saw the invoices had come in from Mitch so she could send the cheques out for vendors.

As she glanced over a few incoming donations, something strange caught her eye. There was an ongoing monthly donation that she didn't recognize.

She pulled up a spreadsheet from last month and clarified the business name. Then she pulled up all the donation history from the past few years. Every second donation was 40% less.

The notes on file mentioned the difference in funds going directly to a business called  _Volhouse Inc._

Mackenzie took a quick photo of the discrepancies then filed everything away as she normally would. She sent a text to Chuck with what she had noticed. She wasn't sure what this meant, but it might be a clue to something.

* * *

Nate insisted on taking Mackenzie out to dinner. The last two weeks had been hard on them both and he felt it was the least he could do to help her feel better. Mackenzie only agreed if it could be in celebration of Nate's new investment partnership, too.

They had a quiet, romantic meal at a busy steakhouse downtown. Nate held her hand as they exited and was surprised to face a slew of photographers outside the door.

"Nate, what happened to Kara?" Someone called out. He rolled his eyes as John help the door open, letting Mackenzie climb in before him.

"Wow, how do people live like this?" Mackenzie commented, staring behind them as they drove away.

Nate just shrugged as he continued to hold her hand in the back of the car, "Better get used to it, babe." He smirked as she rolled her eyes. "Didn't you hear? I'm Kara Montgomery's newest muse."

"Well, as long as I don't end up in a caption as 'mysterious brunette' I can deal with it."

They drove quietly back through the city heading to Nate's. Mackenzie held onto Nate's hand tightly as she stared out the window.

"I've been meaning to ask you," Nate turned his head to her as he spoke, "Did you apply to the London School Of Business? I saw some paperwork at the loft a few weeks ago."

"I did, yeah. Before this happened." She used her free hand to motion between them. "I got into their summer program, actually."

"Mack, that's great. Are you gonna go?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. I didn't plan beyond my Masters. I only applied so I could go live with Jen for the summer. But now I'm not sure what my future holds." She didn't want to say it but she wasn't sure she could handle a summer without Nate.

"You should go. I could come visit you. We could do long weekends in Paris or Amsterdam." He raised his eyebrows up and down.

"You'd visit me in Europe?"

"Of course I would." Nate spoke as if his answer was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm sure it would be an incredible program. I just don't want you changing your life plans for me."

She smiled. "I want to go to Greece. Santorini."

"Then we'll go to Greece, too."

Mackenzie loved the idea of daydreaming about her travelling and making plans with him. It was easy to get lost in the romance of it all.

For a minute she dreamed about a future with Nate.

_A townhouse on the West side. Small voices echoing from upstairs. Nate loosening his tie after a long day at the office. Pouring him a glass of wine as she closed her laptop for the day. Falling asleep by the fire, watching an old movie with their kids. Years and years of love._

"What are you daydreaming about?" He broke her train of thought.

She leaned into him and smiled, "Just the future."

_Just our future._

**xoxoxo**

_Nate's been working on his new column for a while. But is it ready for the public? And it's finally time for the Bass Foundation gala. It's bound to go smoothly, right?_


	20. Chapter 20

Thursday nights were easy for Nate. Work until six or seven, pick up dinner, hang out with Mackenzie. This particular Thursday was special because he was meeting Mackenzie for dinner with Dan and their mother.

He was on schedule to meet them at a restaurant in the West Village but kept running into computer issues.

He grabbed his laptop off his desk, frustrated. He headed out of his office and looked around. Most people had gone home but he was grateful to see the light on in the office of his IT lead

"Jake," Nate knocked and opened the office door. He looked around and saw Jake typing away at his keyboard while Amelia sat across from his desk, flipping through a magazine.  _That's still going. Huh._ He nodded a hello over to her.

"What's up boss?" Jake peeked his eyes away from his screen. Nate handed him his laptop.

"Every time I run my backup to DropBox, the server connection fails. I'm about to throw this out the window." He paused. "I'm out of town this weekend so I need this figured." He was off the next day - it was the Vanderbilt's annual boys weekend at his uncle's lodge upstate.

Jake gave him an easy smile, "Quick fix." He opened up the laptop and keyed in a few things. "Sometimes you need to reset your connection. Should be good now."

"You're a wizard, thanks dude."

Just as Nate was about to leave, Amelia spoke up, "Are you going to the Bass Foundation gala next week?"

"Of course," Nate gave her an honest smile, "Mackenzie and the whole team have been working so hard. I wouldn't miss it."

Nate could swear he saw her eyebrows furrow for a quick second at the mention of Mackenzie. He just gave them both his regards, thanked Jake again then headed back to his office to collect the rest of his things.

* * *

Mackenzie knew Nate was the ideal partner to introduce to her parents. Well, just to her mother. Obviously Rufus had known Nate for a long time.

She would be the first person to admit she had been nervous about the whole situation but by the time they were having desserts, and a third bottle of wine, all her nerves were forgotten.

"Then, by the time he was six, for some reason he was speaking almost exclusively with a British accent," Allison was regaling Nate with stories about her children when they were little.

"I remember that!"

"You do not, you were five," Dan rolled his eyes, smiling playfully at his sister. "Why are these all embarrassing Dan stories when you're meeting Mack's boyfriend?"

"I think we're all enjoying the Dan stories," Mackenzie replied to him, taking a bite of the cheesecake she was sharing with Nate.

"I would actually  _love_  more Mackenzie stories," Nate said, stretching one arm out over her back and the other reaching to refill his glass of wine.

Allison smiled at Nate, then looked to Mackenzie, "Does Nate know about your longtime imaginary friend?"

"Oh my god, yes. What was his name? Bert?"

Mackenzie just sighed, "His name was Kurt."

For Mackenzie, there was something special about sharing close family details with Nate. Usually she didn't let her boyfriends in to this side of her life.

Their chatter continued as the evening grew later. Nate insisted on paying, despite protests from Dan.

"So, Allison, any other plans while you're in the city?" Nate sent his credit card off with the waitress and held Mackenzie's hand on the table.

"Just lunch with an old friend after my meeting tomorrow," Allison replied.

"Which friend?" Dan asked. "Victoria?"

"Oh no, older than that even," she replied to her son. "With Luc Peron."

"You still talk to Luc?" Mackenzie pulled her hand away from Nate, starting to fidget with her other hand. Nate gave her a quizzical glance then rested his hand behind her back again.

"Yes, we reconnected just recently actually. He's the one who organized my meeting with this art buyer tomorrow."

Dan gave Mackenzie a look that said  _drop it_  and as much as she hated listening to her brother, she did just that.

Mackenzie and Nate climbed into his town car after dinner, leaving Dan and Allison as they headed to meet up for a drink with Serena.

"So, who's Luc Peron?" Nate asked, turning his head toward his girlfriend. Mackenzie looked up from her phone and gave him a confused glance.

"Oh," she nodded, letting out a sigh, "Remember when I told you about my weird relationship with Rufus?"

Nate nodded.

"So, the catalyst for my parents divorce happened years and years before they actually split. My dad was touring on and off when Dan was a baby, and when I was born, Rufus thought I was the product of an affair he imagined up my mom having while he was away. Like, he believed for a very long time my mom's studio manager Luc was my actual father." She sighed, shaking her head. "He eventually asked for a paternity test and it was a big mess. I didn't find out for years about any of this - until I found some paperwork when I was packing to go away for college."

Nate didn't know what to say. Every family had their drama but he was surprised to hear about this. He always considered the Humphrey family fairly wholesome - good morals, strong values, lots of love. It was hard to wrap his head around this.

"But Rufus  _is_ your biological father, right?"

"Yes! But he harboured this resentment towards me for a long time - usually subconsciously, I guess. The way he treated me was always different than Dan and Jen - like he kept me at an arm's length. There was never a doubt about his parenthood for them. It's so dramatic and sounds like a real far fetched idea."

"Do you not want your mom to still talk to this Luc guy?"

"I don't know what I want. But it caused a lot of pain for my dad. I don't know. My mom can do what she wants. It's dumb, I just get anxious about the whole thing."

"It's not dumb, Mack." Nate grabbed her hand and squeezed it, rubbing his thumbs gently against her skin.

"Thank you for always letting me ramble on," she said quietly, leaning over to nuzzle into his shoulder.

"I find your rambling adorable," he replied, kissing the top of her head.

"So, are you ready for boys weekend?"

Nate couldn't help but laugh, "No, I'm never ready for boys weekend. My cousin Bronson just invested in a brewery so he's bringing multiple casks for us to sample. It's going to be rough."

"Oh yes, drinking beer all weekend and skiing with your family sounds like you're really going to struggle this weekend, babe," she replied to him, rolling her eyes. "Maybe try to relax and enjoy yourself."

"Okay, if you insist I relax, I will." He pulled her in even tighter as he responded, kissing her head again and again.

"Well, this time next week, I can finally relax too. I'm so looking forward to this gala being done. I've recruited Viv to help me fill gift bags Saturday then it's almost over." Mackenzie paused. "Oh. A few friends of mine from college are crashing at the loft Saturday night before an early Sunday flight out of JFK." She paused again. "By a few friends I mean my friend Brandon and his fiancée."

"Brandon, otherwise known as the guy you slept with for years in college?"

"Yes, and his fiancée. They'll be at the loft just to sleep." She pulled away from him to try and get a read of his face. "Are you okay with that?"

"I mean, honestly, there is a part of me bothered by it but that's my issue, not yours." He sighed. "I'm glad you'll get to catch up with him."

"You do remember me telling you he wasn't incredible in bed anyway, right?"

"Not funny."

* * *

Hitting the slopes and drinking beer was taking a lot out of Nate.

By late Saturday afternoon, he was staying inside by the fire working instead of joining his uncles and cousins outside. Most of them poked fun at him for giving up on skiing but he was grateful for the peace and quiet.

The lodge was unimaginably cozy - large exposed wooden beams, fur rugs, fireplaces is most rooms. It was over the top, especially for a two night stay over the weekend, but it was a welcome mini vacation from the city.

He sent Mackenzie a text as he took a break from writing: ' _I think we need to take a trip together when all this gala stuff is over. What do you say, Miss Humphrey?'_

He waited for a response for a few moments, but knew she was busy at the Foundation office all weekend. He continued working on his column for a while, before moving on to some editing for Leo.

His phone finally buzzed with her response a little while later.

' _Yes! Yes. Please. I'll go anywhere as long as I'm with you. I need a break from this city.'_

' _Okay :) do you have anywhere in mind?'_

' _You pick. Just give me some heads up beforehand so I don't die from surprise anxiety.'_

She also sent Nate a photo of herself surrounded by event gift bags, with the comment that she was drowning. He couldn't help but smile at her misery.

He closed all his work documents and proceeded to research weekend getaways for them instead.

Thinking back to the last four months, Nate couldn't believe there was a time when he didn't have Mackenzie in his life. Despite their recent ups and downs, it felt like they had something real - something worth fighting for.

After everyone returned to the lodge from skiing, Nate was sitting in the large living room with a few of his cousins while some others prepped dinner.

He was detailing his vacation plans with Tripp when his other cousin, Bronson, piped in.

"You know Nate, I was reading about something recently. They call it New Relationship Energy. Like, you've been dating this Mackenzie girl for a few months? It's all excitement and good sex and new things. But what happens when that fades away?"

"Bronson, you're twice divorced at 36," Tripp interjected, garnering a laugh from Nate.

"Listen, all I'm saying is when all that new energy is gone, are you still gonna like this girl?"

"Dude, I'm planning a weekend away. Not a wedding." Nate replied to his cousin, shaking his head as he took a sip of his beer.

Nate tried not to let his cousins unsolicited advice bother him. Okay, sure, him and Mack had run into a few roadblocks. Common miscommunications. He wasn't worried about it long term. They were working through things together.

"And consider how she'd do in the public eye, Mr. Future Mayor of New York."

Nate couldn't help but laugh at Tripp's comment. He had recently gotten some feedback from someone on the Mayoral Communication Committee stating they liked Nate's policy views and his  _gusto_. He assured Nate more than once he would get his vote in the future. It was a silly offhand comment that Nate couldn't stop thinking about.

Being Mayor seemed like a strange dream - far off, foggy, a weird glimpse into a maybe future.

"Since I fucked up my political career, it's all on you to carry about the Vanderbilt name, man."

"Mayor Nathaniel Archibald does have a nice ring to it."

* * *

Saturday was a long day for Mackenzie.

Between last minute phone call confirmations, decor issues, gift bags and additional guests, the gala was as ready as it could be. With a large fundraising goal, Mackenzie was nervous about the outcome but the entire foundation team seemed pretty prepared for the big event and had confidence in the success.

She finally got back to the loft around 7 with a large bottle of wine in her bag and a pizza in hand. She had just heard from Brandon that his train in from Boston was delayed but they would message when they were on their way.

If she was being honest, Mackenzie had no energy to play host to Brandon and his fiancée but she couldn't revoke her offer now.

She did her best to keep up with Brandon in the last year but life really got in the way. He had texted her in November to check in about her life and her move and Adam. Brandon had revealed his long term dislike for Adam anyway so he seemed happy she was moving on.

Mackenzie knew Brandon and Monica had only been together for about a year but she was excited they were engaged and starting their next steps together. She had only met Monica once but they seemed happy together. Both Mackenzie and Brandon's relationships put a halt on their friends with benefits situation last spring but they both seemed to be happy.

Mackenzie plunked down onto her couch, smiling at a photo Nate had sent her. It was of him and Tripp, standing on top of the ski hill. For whatever juvenile reason they were both topless, something about a bet but she couldn't help but bite her lip at Nate's chest.  _How is that my boyfriend?_

Mackenzie knew her life looked very differently a year ago. Hell, even five months ago. But moving back to Brooklyn, jumping into this role at Bass Industries and dating Nate had really changed her life. In good ways and bad. But at the end of the day, she was most grateful to have Nate as a partner.

Looking back, none of her past relationships let her imagine their future together. Or plan little trips. Or dream of what they might name their children. But with Nate, for the first time, it felt right to dream.

By the time Mackenzie heard from Brandon, she was drinking a glass of wine, on her second slice of pizza and had a record playing. It wasn't a terrible way to end a Saturday night but she wished Nate was with her. She sent him a message while she waited for her friend to show up.

' _Spent 15 minutes searching for a certain Billy Joel album only to realize it must still be at your place? Will I ever get that back? It's like you're keeping a piece of my soul from me.'_

Nate responded a few minutes later: ' _you've had ample time to recover it. Maybe we should just split the custody until we live together.'_

Mackenzie couldn't help but smile excitedly at his comment. Maybe Nate dreamed about their future too.

Before she could respond, there was a knock at the door. Brandon and Monica. She put her phone down and headed to the door, swinging it open to see Brandon standing alone.

"Mackenzie, hey," Brandon dropped his bag off his shoulder and pulled her into a hug. She smiled at his embrace but pulled away, looking around.

"Where's Monica?" She asked, a confused look on her face as he followed her into the loft.

"Yeah, she's, uh," Brandon paused, letting out a sigh. "She's not with me. We got into a big fight last night and she gave her engagement ring back to me. Not a great way to start a trip to visit family."

Mackenzie just looked at her friend, not sure how to take the information just given to her.

"Oh Brandon, I'm so sorry. That sounds rough." She gave him a sympathetic smile. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not really, honestly. I hope you don't mind just me crashing here, though. If it's weird, I'm sure I can get a hotel room or-

"Oh god, don't be silly. I have the extra bed so it's fine. Also, I already have wine and pizza and I can't drink alone." She gave him a smile and Brandon seemed to relax, shrugging off his coat.

Mackenzie had to admit it was nice to see Brandon. They had been friends for years now and despite their previous sexual history, they could easily pick up where they left off.

She wasn't surprised when Brandon said he was engaged to Monica after such a short relationship - he was always a bit impulsive and constantly had some girl pining for him. He just never seemed to be the type to settle down. He was tall, with messy blonde hair and a welcoming smile. His laugh was loud and rambunctious and his energy really captured a room.

For a moment, she considered texting Nate and letting him know it was just Brandon staying over and not Brandon and his fiancée. Just to be transparent. She knew nothing would happen with Brandon and it was really just a silly worry, but the last thing she wanted was to withhold anything from Nate.  _You're an adult with friends who are male, Mackenzie. Don't overthink it._

"So, Mackenzie in the big city, who would have thought this is where you'd end up?"

"You know I grew up here," she laughed in response to him, finishing off her glass of wine.

"Sure, but I remember you telling me how toxic and poisonous this place seemed," Brandon responded to her, leaning back into the couch.

"Okay, you're right. But my brother is here! And I met Nate and -

She paused when she saw her phone ringing. "Speaking of Nate. One second." She answered the call, standing up from her seat on the couch.

"Hey you." She couldn't help but smile at the sound of Nate's voice.

"Hi," she responded, "How goes boys weekend?"

"It's fine, I miss you though. You didn't answer me after that last message about the living together comment and I just got all freaked out and Tripp said I shouldn't have said anything and

Mackenzie cut him off. It was clear he was a bit drunk.

"Nate, I didn't respond because I'm hosting people and kind of ignored my phone. You didn't scare me off. Of course we'll live together someday - just not until you convince me you know how to actually cook me dinner."

She heard him let out a sigh of relief, "I just love you Mack and I will take cooking lessons for you or I'll hire a chef and pretend I cooked for you."

"I love you, too. Just be safe and tell Tripp he's an idiot."

"Tripp, you're an idiot!" She heard him call out away from his phone. He hung up a few seconds later.

Mackenzie just smiled as she headed back to where Brandon was sitting.

"So things are going well with this Nate guy?"

Mackenzie nodded, reaching to refill her wine glass.

"I never thought you'd go for a suit," Brandon continued his commentary. "You always talked about how guys in finance were all the same and liked to dress well but had no personality."

"You remember a lot of my rants, it turns out." Mackenzie shifted her body to face him. "Nate's different. And he's not in finance, anyway. He's in political journalism or whatever you can categorize The Spectator as."

Brandon just nodded, "Okay, fair enough. As long as he's good to you. Unlike Adam."

Mackenzie rolled her eyes, "I wish people would stop reminding me about how terrible Adam was. He was clearly filling some void for me and I've moved on. So has he. So whatever about stupid manchild Adam."

Brandon held up his arms in defense. "I didn't mean to strike a nerve there, Mack. I'm really just mad you started to date Adam so quickly we never got to…"

Mackenzie gave him a quizzical glance as he trailed off. "Never got to what?"

Brandon just pursed his lips. "Never mind."

"Oh come on," she reached over and shoved his arm.

"We never got, like, one last go at it. You know. There was no finale. No final romp to end it." Brandon shrugged as he looked over at her.

Mackenzie nodded slowly, finally understanding what he was implying. She swallowed hard as she looked away from him.

"Brandon, please don't tell me this visit was about...I love Nate and I'm very happy and you and I are friends and I would never."

"Mackenzie, I know. I would never...no, that's not what this was about. But I just think of you and us sometimes and -

"Us?" She stood up from where she was sitting, her heart starting to beat quickly. Nervously. "Us was just fooling around. Just friends having sex."

"So you never had feelings for me?"

"Brandon, this doesn't matter. Up until who knows when you had a fiancée and I'm very happy with Nate and bringing all this shit up now is inappropriate."

"C'mon Mackenzie, if you didn't start to date Adam after the shooting, you know it was me you were relying on emotionally and physically."

"So you're going to throw my emotional vulnerability in my face now, Brandon?" She crossed her arms, suddenly regretting all the wine.  _How is this happening right now?_

"I'm sorry for bringing this up but I figured I had to be honest."

"Well, great. Honesty is fine but you can't argue when you don't get the answer you want. That's not how life works. I think you're just hurt right now and seeking some sort of comfort. Comfort I will not provide." She turned and pointed to the spare room. "You can sleep in there but this friendship is on pause." Without another word she grabbed her phone and headed into her room, shutting the doors behind her.  _Fuck._

She controlled her breathing as she lay on her bed, ignoring Brandon's comments to talk outside her door. He eventually gave up and she heard him get in the shower, then eventually go into the other room.

It had been a long Saturday.

By the time Mackenzie woke up Sunday morning, Brandon was gone. He had sent her a long apology text and wished her the best. If she was being honest, the way her friendship had just unraveled with Brandon was disappointing. She hoped they could recover once he sorted his own feelings out.

She spent most of her day working on a school project and lazing around at the loft. She knew the week ahead was going to be busy and stressful, so she figured she should capitalize on the free time.

Nate called her when he was on his way back to the city.

"Hey, how are you feeling, champ?" She answered him.

She heard him groan, "I'm fine. Too much beer this weekend though." He paused. "How was your visit with Brandon and his fiancé?" Mackenzie knew that tone - he was asking to be kind but she knew he was indifferent about the situation.

She sighed, "It was weird. Brandon showed up alone then proceeded to romanticize our past physical relationship then

"I'm sorry - did you just say he showed up alone? And he still slept over?"

"In the other room, yes."

Nate didn't respond.

"Did you hang up?"

"No, I'm just trying to not be angry."

"Nate, nothing happened."

"Yeah, well, how would you feel if one of my exes slept over at my apartment and you didn't know?"

"Nate." She didn't want to argue. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you - I didn't think it was a big deal. Brandon isn't my ex - he's just a friend and I shut him down pretty clearly last night so you have nothing to worry about."

"Well, that's great Mack, but you don't get to decide what worries or upsets me. And ex or not, you slept with the guy for years so however you want to define it - I don't care. "

She sighed. That was fair. She should have just told me. It wasn't worth fighting.

"Well, I'm sorry. I'm glad you had a good weekend but I'll just let you be mad, I guess. "

There was a moment before he spoke. "I'll message you later." He hung up.

Mackenzie sighed. While she was grateful they managed to have a civil argument about the situation, she was still frustrated. She didn't want to push him when she knew he was upset, especially when he was hungover and not feeling well.

_You should have just told him the truth, Mackenzie._

* * *

_The Spectator - Thoughts from the Editor in Chief_

_Monday March 2 - 9:35 AM_

_The Unseen Consequence of a School Shooting_

Gun control is a highly sensitive topic in today's political world.

We often discuss the person who wielded the gun. We will dive deep into their personal history, seeking out a reason  _why._ But news media often fails to circle back to the victim - and their  _how_.

How do they move on from tragedy? How do they recover? How do they continue on with their day to day life with physical and mental trauma?

Mackenzie Humphrey was a victim. And now she's a survivor. Her story begins like any other day might for a college student - with a bowl of cereal for breakfast and panic about missing the bus to school. Little did she know that her life would change….

* * *

For Mackenzie, Monday morning was a disaster.

Everything was going very smoothly for the gala. She was ready for Wednesday to come and go so she could move on from Bass Foundation.

Nate had finally messaged her late the night before and apologized for his reaction to her situation with Brandon. He said suffering through his hangover was bad enough - he didn't mean to argue with her too, because it made him feel even worse.

She didn't love how the situation ended but she knew this was something she had to let go. Her relationship with Nate was much more important to her than her friendship with Brandon.

Nate had promised her his evening to help with any additional things she needed for the gala or just his company to help her relax before her next few busy days. It was something nice to look forward to.

But just after 9:30 that Monday morning, everything took a turn.

Mackenzie's phone was in Do Not Disturb mode when the article went live. It wasn't until nearly an hour later that she looked at her phone and it was exploding.

She had a missed call from her mother, her father and from Dan. She has dozens of texts from people across her life. It was hard to understand at first but she finally pieced together enough information that Nate had published some commentary about her? Or the shooting? Both?

She stopped what she was doing at the foundation office - updating spreadsheets and organizing invoices - and went to The Spectator's website.

Her face grew flushed when she read the title on the front page:  _The Unseen Consequence of a School Shooting_

She nearly threw up in her mouth as she read skimmed the article. The entire piece outlined the day of the shooting from her perspective - in detail. Every detail she had told Nate written down and sprinkled through with his opinion on new gun legislation and mental health resource.

_Did he just turn my personal experience into some political agenda?_

Mackenzie felt like her lungs were full of cement. She did her best to control herself as she breathed but she still felt like a panic attack was coming.

How could he post that?

She grabbed her phone and texted Dan: ' _what the fuck do I do now? I didn't know about this story or anything and I feel like I'm having a heart attack Dan. Please tell him not to contact me while I wrap my head around this.'_

* * *

Nate was still feeling rough Monday morning.

He was exhausted - physically, from his lingering hangover; mentally - from going over his minor squabble with Mackenzie all night. He finally reached out to her late Sunday night and apologized for his reaction. He was disappointed he wasted his Sunday night being upset with her instead of spending time with her but he did spent a lot of time working on some new articles and preparing for his week.

He promised her they'd spend Monday night together instead - he volunteered himself for any last minute gala help or just company to help her prepare for her busy week ahead.

His Monday morning was just like any other. It started with a weekly sales call. Just as it ended, Leo burst into his office.

"Nate, you didn't tell me you were putting up your gun control piece this week. The traffic and traction we're getting is insane - I just wasn't prepared."

Nate glanced up from his phone, a confused look on his face, "what are you talking about?"

Leo returned the confused look, "Uhm, your weekly article. This week about Mackenzie and the shooting?"

Nate's eyes went wide and the colour drained from his face, "That is not the article I prepped for publishing this morning. It was my piece on recycling resources."

Leo swallowed hard, "Well, I'm not sure what happened but you should check the website."

Nate threw open his laptop and navigated to The Spectator's website. There it was, on the front page, his article about the shooting.

He nearly threw up.

He had been working on this article for a while but it was still in draft. In fact, he hadn't even told Mackenzie he was writing it. She was supposed to see it first and if she didn't like it, he would have trashed it all together. How could this have happened?

"Leo, pull the story. Take it down."

"Nate, I have to urge you not to. We're getting insane numbers off of this and

"Pull it!"

He jumped up from his desk and raced over to Jake's office, throwing open the door. Leo followed him.

"Boss, you're getting crazy traffic on that article

"Jake, I didn't post that. I mean, my scheduled draft did not look like that. I need you to figure out what happened right now. That was in my documents folder on our secure server. The server you assured me was safe and could not be breached. So you need to figure this out or you'll be out of a job."

Nate didn't wait for a response as he hurried away, heading back towards his office.

He grabbed his phone and looked over his missed messages and calls. He dialed Mackenzie right away but it went straight to her voicemail.

"Fuck."

"Listen, Nate, I don't think we should pull the piece. I know this isn't what you wanted but I think this is going to help us in the long term. Plus, we already have outlets sharing and reposting it. In fact, the Times already called and wants to print it."

Nate glanced up at Leo, narrowing his eyes.

"Leo, I'm only going to say this once more. Pull that article or you will also be out of a job."

Leo just nodded then left Nate alone in his office.

_Fuck._

He glanced down at his phone again, just as Dan was calling.

"Dan, hey, thank god. Listen, -

"Nate, I'm going to keep this short. I'm not sure how you can fix this but you've gotta leave her alone for a while. I know you didn't want to hurt her but you know you did."

"I really need to explain to her that-

"I've gotta go."

Nate just looked down at his phone after Dan hung up. The pit in his stomach just felt heavy as he sat there in silence, watching messages and email come in about the story.

What was he going to do now? He knew Mackenzie was probably at the foundation office but he wasn't sure if going there was the right move.

He could only guess how she was feeling.

Overwhelmed, anxious, betrayed.

Was there any way to fix this?

* * *

_Well, if there was ever a time to test the strength of a relationship..._


	21. Chapter 21

Mackenzie was hiding out at Dan's apartment.

Monday had been a whirlwind. Despite screening all her communication throughout the day, she was still emotionally wrecked.

Nate's piece had gained popularity nationwide, even though he pulled it off The Spectator. News outlets across the country had reposted it so The Spectator published it again.

Unfortunately for Mackenzie, people were reaching out to her again too. Her instagram exploded, her inbox was full and someone had leaked her phone number, too.

Dan was helping her screen all her calls, thankfully.

She was laying on his living room floor, staring up at the ceiling.

"Blair wants to know where to send your dress for Wednesday," Dan said from his kitchen island, phone up to his ear. "Yes, Blair. I know." He rolled his eyes as she chattered into his ear.

"Serena is getting ready at Lily's so send it there, I guess." Mackenzie was supposed to get ready at Nate's.

She still hasn't talked to him, despite his incessant attempts at communication with her.

She had pieced enough information together that the story was not supposed to be published. It was some grave internal error at The Spectator that was being dealt with.

After dealing with his sister's phone, Dan finally walked over to sit with her. He sat on the couch and looked at her.

"Dan, I get that he didn't mean for this to happen. I really do. But I'm the one who has to deal with all this emotional fallout now. And, the worst part, is he  _wrote it_  without even asking me if I was okay with it. Yes, he didn't intend for it to be published. But he was the one responsible for writing it."

Dan just nodded as she spoke.

"That one line?" She let out a groan, reaching for the paper copy of the story she had printed out. " _No one talks about the silence. How the silence following the firing of a gun can remain with a victim for the rest of their life_."

"That line! It's perfect. It's so true. Every word is like he climbed into my brain and understood. But it's my story and I want to control how it's told."

"Mack," Dan said quietly, "I'm sorry you're hurting. But you know and I both know Nate didn't mean for this to happen."

"Are you sure?" She sat up, her brain reeling. "Because the first thing that happened the day I met him - he drilled me with questions about the shooting. There used to be this tiny piece of me that thought maybe he had ulterior motives and turns out I was right." She squeezed her eyes shut, falling back onto the floor.

Dan sighed. His sister had a tendency to be stubborn and he knew this wasn't the time to push it.

Mackenzie sighed then her voice came out as a whisper, "Can we order in from Thai Kitchen?"

* * *

Nate spent most of his day holed up in his office.

He was conflicted about the whole situation. After he had Leo pull the article, his new investor called to laud him for the incredible think piece. He had to make the decision to push the article live again, despite his misgivings about the whole thing.

He had media requests from The New Yorker and the Times. The article was being reposted all over the Internet.

The worst part of the celebrations and success of the article was that it was all accidental. This wasn't supposed to happen. His words weren't even complete. Mackenzie was supposed to okay it. Mackenzie was supposed to support it.

But instead, he had hurt her. Immensely. She wouldn't talk to him. She ignored every phone call and text. He even emailed her. He went to the loft, he went to Bass Industries, he went to the foundation office. She was nowhere to be found.

He wanted to apologize. He wanted to hug her and whisper in her ear and hold her close.

It wasn't long until he figured out she was hiding at Dan's. He had hinted at it not so secretly in their last phone call.

Most of The Spectator staff were busy during the day and kept their distance from Nate. By the end of the afternoon, Jake finally knocked at his office door.

"Nate," he said quietly as he opened the door. "Can we talk?"

Nate nodded as he walked in, taking a seat across from his desk.

"I've changed all our internal passwords and updated our server security. All I have determined at this point is that someone internally edited your scheduled draft. They did it at 5am this morning. I'm running a script to find the IP address and log-in key."

"Listen, Jake, I'm sorry for blowing up at you but despite the security risk happening here, this caused a huge mess in my life. I need to know it won't happen again."

Jake nodded, understanding, "It shouldn't. I've also sent you an email about your own secure server that you, and only you, have access to."

"Thank you."

"Now, I need you to see something." Jake tapped on his phone and pulled up his twitter feed, handing it over to Nate. "Look what's trending."

Nate looked down at the screen and saw the hashtag #HowISurvived - people were sharing his article and quotes, adding in their own stories of gun violence and the following mental health trauma.

"Thousands of tweets. This conversation started because of your story today."

Nate couldn't help but feel a wash of pride as he scrolled through the tweets. This is why he wanted to be a journalist. This is why he wanted to evoke change in legislation.

He just wish it hadn't come at the expense of his relationship with Mackenzie.

"Thanks for showing me," Nate finally said quietly, handing the phone back across the desk. Jake nodded and left the office, leaning Nate alone with his thoughts again.

He couldn't sit around and stir anymore. He had to talk to her.

He sent a text to Dan: ' _I just want five minutes of her time. Please.'_

Mackenzie turned her head slightly to look towards the door as Dan got up to answer it. She was suddenly very starving so she was glad the food had arrived so quickly.

She was feeling  _slightly_ better about the situation after talking to her mom on the phone for a while. Leave it to Allison for being the voice of reason. ' _Honey, you have every right to be mad. But you need to fight past these feelings and decide if this was it for you. You don't owe him anything. Just consider it from his perspective, too.'_

She felt her stomach sunk when she heard Nate's voice at the door. She stayed where she was laying on the floor and squeezed her eyes shut.  _I want to disappear._

"I'm not going to stay and participate, you guys need to talk on your own. But Nate," Dan put his hand on his friend's shoulder, "if she asks you to leave, please just go."

Nate wanted to argue with Dan's sudden dominant brother act but he decided it wasn't worth it. He just nodded and watched as Dan disappeared into his office, closing the door behind.

Nate took a deep breath as he walked further into Dan's apartment. He reached to loosen his tie, then unbuttoned his coat. "Mackenzie?"

"Over here," she replied quietly, opening her eyes and sitting up on the floor. She swallowed hard as Nate walked into view. She nearly burst into tears when she met his eyes.

"Mack," Nate's voice came out as a whisper, as he sat on the edge of the couch. "I'm so sorry."

She bit her lip as she looked over at him. She wanted to run over and hold him, she wanted his arms wrapped around her. She wanted him to lay kisses along her forehead and tell her everything would be okay.

But she couldn't.

"You're sorry." She paused. "Well, that's great, isn't it?"

"Please let me explain."

"Nate, stop," she sighed, straightening up and crossing her legs. "I understand what happened. I know that story was not supposed to be posted today. You clearly have some internal security issues."

"I know and I -

"What really breaks my heart is that you even wrote this." She grabbed the printed sheets off the floor beside her. "That you didn't ask me if you could use my name! And tell  _my_ story for whatever political agenda you have."

"Mack, I don't have a political agenda."

"Well, clearly you do." She glanced down at the papers, her eyes scanning across the text. "Right here: 'How many more innocent Americans will walk into a secure place and feel threatened? How many more Mackenzie Humphrey's will start their day without realizing the disaster that waited for them in their classroom? Our lawmakers need to decide today how many more tragedies follow.' It's  _my name_  being strung through this. Mine!"

"Mack, I'm so sorry. This was never supposed to go live without your consent."

"How could you even write it without asking me?"

"This is hard, okay?" Nate stood up from his perch on the count and paced around. "This." He motioned between them. "There are so many things that are hard about this and I'm trying to help you and support you. But that doesn't mean I have to run all my thoughts by you."

Mackenzie pulled herself off the ground and crossed her arms. "Wow, I'm so sorry for inconveniencing your life, Nate." She squeezed her eyes shut. "What about  _loving you is the easiest thing I do?_ Was that some bullshit veil to hide behind?"

"No, of course it wasn't. How could you think that?" Nate knew the volume of his voice was growing as they talked. "I don't want to fight with you about this."

"Well, I'm sorry if you thought coming over here and apologizing would fix this and everything would go back to normal, Nate." She paused, wiping away tears that fell down her cheek. "When you pulled that article today I was so relieved. Only to have you push it up again with edits and quotes hours later. Without even talking to me."

"You were ignoring me, Mack! I called you dozens of times." He was yelling now. He heard Dan's office door open. "Is there anything I can do to fix this?"

Mackenzie was sobbing now.

"Mack, please," Nate took a step toward her, reaching out for her hands. For a moment she let him hold them, squeezing her palms and brushing his thumb against the back of her hand. "I'm so so so sorry."

"No," she pulled her hands away, "Stop."

"Mackenzie," he reached out to her again and she took a step back.

"Nate," Dan took a step into the room, his tone was cautious. "Maybe you should go."

"Mack, please, talk to me," Nate was holding back tears of his own now. She just shook her head, crossing her arms and turning away from him.

Maybe this was it.

* * *

Mackenzie threw herself into gala planning with full force. She spent her entire day Tuesday at the office and Wednesday morning she was helping the foundation staff set up at The Met. She was so grateful to have Serena at her side the whole time.

Serena had been very tight lipped about the situation with Nate and Mackenzie had been super appreciative of that. Especially considering how busy they had been with the planning.

It wasn't until they were back at the Van Der Woodsen penthouse getting ready that Serena finally touched on the topic.

"So, Mack, we need to talk about Nate," Serena turned in her chair as she finished up her makeup at the vanity.

"Are you sure? Because I'm really trying to just get my brain through the next ten hours of our day." Mackenzie paused her own makeup application to take a sip of her coffee. She was desperately wishing it was spiked.

"Listen, I know he's already told you he's sorry and you know he's full of remorse over this whole thing but I guess I just want to be prepared if you're breaking up with him."

"What? I don't want to break up with him, Serena."

"Well, he thinks you do. In fact, I know he's just waiting for you to call him and do just that."

Mackenzie sighed. "I wish this was easier. I don't want to break up with Nate. I love him. I'm just having a hard time…" She trailed off, putting her hand over her heart. "I know the whole thing was unintentional but I can't help but feel so hurt. And betrayed."

"I know," Serena stood up from her seat and sat beside Mackenzie on the bed, putting a hand on her shoulder. "This won't go away overnight. It'll take time. But I've just never seen two people have so much chemistry. It's actually exhausting to be around you two sometimes - you're both so magnetic to each other. If there is anyone who is going to help you heal through this whole mess, it's Nate."

Mackenzie sighed. She knew Serena was right.

"You know he called me Sunday night," Serena continued. Mackenzie turned her head to face her, a quizzical look on her face. "He wanted recommendations on the best restaurants and things to do in Montreal. Not to ruin the surprise but he needed help planning your upcoming weekend away. He wants it to be perfect and relaxing. Just you two, no other cares in the world. He was so excited Mack. He would just never want to do anything to cause you any kind of hurt like this."

Mackenzie squeezed her eyes shut and fell back onto the bed, letting out a groan. "God, this is all so overwhelming. Can we just get through this night?"

"Mack, everything is set for the gala. It's going to go perfectly. Just take a deep breath, put on that stunning dress, and soon enough you'll have a glass of champagne in your hand."

* * *

Nate knew he had to go to the gala. Not only as a brand ambassador for The Spectator, but for Mackenzie. Even if she was still giving him complete radio silence. He knew she had been working hard to get this event pulled together.

He also loved the opportunity to dress up and couldn't wait to see his girlfriend in her custom Waldorf dress.

His girlfriend.

God, he hoped she was still his girlfriend.

Just after he called John to come get him, he got a message from Jake: ' _Can you call me ASAP'_

Nate's chest tightened for a second as he hit his phone to call his tech guy.

"Jake, what's going on?"

"Nate, I don't know how to explain this but.. I traced the changes made to your post Monday. It was made from my log-in. My IP. My server access."

Nate didn't know how to respond. The urgency and honest in Jake's voice were genuine, but it didn't make any sense.

"I don't know how any of this happened but it's on me, somehow, Nate. So, if you need to blame someone or do something about this, it's my fault. Just.. let me know what you want me to do next. Like I said, I ramped up our security system online but sometimes shit happens and I wish I knew how to explain it."

Nate let out a sigh. He didn't want to deal with this right now.

"Jake, I don't know. Let's just talk about it first thing at the office tomorrow."

The first thing Nate did when he got to the gala was find the bar. He found Chuck there, too.

Nate hadn't spoken much to Chuck at all since their confrontation about Mitch Watson the week before. He was still mad about it - but he was also running out of confidants.

"Nathaniel," Chuck walked with him away from the bar and paused at a nearby tall table, "How are you holding up?"

"This whole week has been a rollercoaster. That story single handedly boosted website traffic by 342%."

"Incredible."

"Except I'm not certain my relationship with Mackenzie will survive. So I don't think it was worth it."

"If my opinion means anything to you right now," Chuck paused to take a sip, "Miss Humprey can do better than you, anyway."

"Wow, thanks." Nate gave his friend an appreciative smile.

"But, for what it's worth, in all the years I've known you I have never seen you care this deeply about another person before. And I can't speak for Mackenzie but I don't imagine this is a deal breaker. It's just gonna take some time to repair."

Nate just nodded slightly, letting out a breath. He took a big gulp of his drink and put his hand on Chuck's shoulder. "Thanks, Chuck."

Chuck turned and pulled Nate away from the growing crowd, peering over his shoulder.

"I also need you to know I'm sorting this shit out with Mitch Watson tonight. I've arranged to have federal agents at Bass Industries after the gala tonight so this whole mess will be over."

Nate couldn't stand the mention of Mitch Watson. The fact that he was even going to be at this gala was enough to piss Mitch off.

"Did you tell Mackenzie?" By this point, Nate was more worried about causing her any extra stress.

"Of course not. My goal is to not involve her any further and the last thing I wanted to do is ruin the gala."

"Well, I hope you get this all sorted quietly."

Chuck nudged Nate's arm and motioned his head across the room, where Mackenzie was standing going over some paperwork on a clipboard.

Even with her determined planning face on, Nate was in awe.

Her hair cascaded down her back in perfect waves, held back away from her face with shimmering pins. His eyes looked over her body all at once then in detail - the dress was hugging her body perfectly, the sheer fabric falling down to her feet. He just wanted to run his hands over her arms and feel her in it.

She caught his eyes across the room. Nate knew his staring would annoy her but he couldn't help himself. Mackenzie locked her eyes with him for a brief moment, giving him the slightest smile before glancing down at her phone and hurrying off.

To Nate, that smile meant everything.

He didn't even realize Chuck had left his side by the time he looked away from Mackenzie. His drink was already almost empty, too.

He was torn between chasing after her and keeping his distance. On the one hand, he knew she was busy and he didn't want to distract her. On the other, he didn't want to drive any more time and distance between them either. Was not saying anything to her going to make a statement?

"Hey Nate." His train of thought was derailed by someone else appearing at his side. He turned his head.

There stood Amelia, dressed in a short, tight red cocktail dress.

"Amelia, hi. How are you?" He didn't have much interest in catching up with her but he knew he should be polite.

"I'm okay. Can we talk for a moment?"

"Uh, sure." Nate motioned to the outside hallway, following behind her.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing."

Nate gave her a confused glance, "I'm fine?"

"I mean, I know you've had a rough week. I'm sorry about you and Mackenzie-

"Mackenzie and I are fine. Amelia, honestly I'm not sure why you think my relationship is any of your concern." He didn't want to waste time with this anymore.

"But that article, your story - I was sure that if it posted." She cut herself off, covering her mouth with her hand.

"I'm sorry - what did you just say?" Nate's eyes grew wide as he looked at her. Suddenly, he pieced it all together.

His posted edited by Jake. His post replaced with an unfinished draft with Jake's credentials. Amelia was behind this?

"Wow, I don't even know what to say. What did you want to happen here? Ruin my relationship then hope I date you instead?"

"Nate, listen, I can explain." Amelia clutched onto his arm. He pulled his arm away from her and left her standing there alone.

That was an unfortunate way to figure out exactly what was going on and why it happened. He sent a quick message to Jake explaining what just happened then headed back into the event. That information was a small answer to the headache that his article had caused. But it didn't help fix anything with Mackenzie.

He was tired of waiting. Screw distance and looking needy. He had to talk to his girlfriend.

* * *

Just as Serena had predicted, the gala went smoothly. So far, there had been only minor hiccups that most guests would not have even realized.

The swing band was playing music. The catering company was circling around consistently. The silent auction was drawing in large donations.

All in all, as the night carried on - Mackenzie felt more and more relieved.

Other than a brief lingering glance from across the room, she hadn't seen or talked to Nate. She felt conflicted because she missed him - she wanted to rant to him about the whole event and hang off his arm as they walked around the sculpture gallery. But she was still feeling so hurt.

"You look like you need this," Eric appeared at her side as she stood on the back wall, a glass of wine in hand for her.

"Thank you!" She smiled at him, taking a sip from the glass. "Although I'm not sure it's appropriate for staff to be drinking here."

"I'm pretty sure Chuck won't get mad if you have a glass," Eric replied to her, smirking.

"Yeah, well, actually Chuck knows better than to get mad at me about anything these days," Mackenzie said, sighing. She couldn't wait for this all to be over.

They stood in silence for a moment.

"Nate's tie matches your dress, you know," Eric finally said, turning to look at his friend.

"I knowwww," she let out a groan and put her hand on Eric's shoulder, "I don't know how to be mad at him. I don't want to be. I'm not even mad, I can't really explain. I just want to...kiss him."

Eric couldn't help but laugh. "Mackenzie, you can be upset and still talk to him. You can be upset and still kiss him, even. You said it yourself that you moved fast with Nate because life could end at any moment. So why let this pain keep you from him any longer?"

Maybe Eric was right. The last three days had been exhausting for Mackenzie but she knew if Nate had been there holding her hand, calming her down, telling her it would be okay - that things would have felt so much better.

The gala was wrapping up soon. She quickly scanned the room but couldn't see Nate anywhere. She sent him a message: ' _can we talk please?'_

At the end of the night, Mackenzie still hadn't tracked down Nate. He hadn't even responded to her text. She was too busy to be annoyed or concerned about his lack of communication, though. She was collecting the final information from all the silent auction winners, including some large cheques. She knew these had to get somewhere secure quickly. She tucked them into a large envelope and headed for a back room to gather her things.

She swept past Mitch Watson on her way, who turned to follow her. She luckily hadn't run into him all night and did not want to spend even a moment alone with him now.

Most of the guests were trickling out of the event space now. She sighed when Mitch stopped her. She craned her neck past him, seeing Nate farther down the hall on the phone.

"Miss Humphrey," Mitch said casually, "You did a wonderful job tonight."

"Thanks. It was a team effort though. I'm just here to budget and move things along." She crossed her arms, clutching the envelope in her hands.

Mitch leaned in close to her, one of his hands grabbing onto her shoulder. "I think you should come back to the office with me."

She took a step back, eyes scanning around them. Nate was still down the hall but most other people seemed to have left, save for two suited men standing nearby.

"Yeah, I don't think so," she scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"I do think so," he stepped towards her again, motioning his head to one of the suited men. She turned her head and saw one pull back his jacket, revealing a gun.

She let her eyes go wide for a second, then looked back at Mitch. How on Earth did someone manage to get in here with a weapon? She felt her chest start to move up and down. She finally saw Nate walking towards her.

"Give me your phone," Mitch said to her quietly. She did as he said, watching the two suits walk towards them, too.

"Mackenzie," Nate approached her as Mitch grabbed her phone from her hand. "What's going on?"

"I, uh, need to go to the office with Mitch, apparently," she said quietly, locking eyes with Nate. She felt comforted by his presence for a moment until she remembered what was happening.

Nate turned from her to Mitch, stepping between them. "She's not going anywhere with you."

Mitch just sighed, turning to his suited friends again. "Golden boy can come too. Let's please just do this quietly so no one gets hurt." The same man moved his jacket to reveal his gun to Nate, who raised his hands up.

"Your phone." Nate reaches into his pocket slowly and handed his phone over.

"Just walk with me outside. None of this is out of the ordinary. Eyes on me." Mitch said to them both, as he turned on his heel to leave the building. His two suits walked behind them. Nate grabbed a hold of Mackenzie's hand and squeezed it tightly, as if letting go of her hand would cause him to lose her entirely.

This is not what he pictured when he imagined them having a discussion and making up. He imagined peeling off her dress and laying kisses down her body. Not being held at gunpoint enroute to Bass Industries.

They each didn't even risk looking at each other.

Mackenzie climbed into the limo behind Mitch, then Nate slid in beside her. She put her hand on top of his knee and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Just the touch of his hand quieted all her nerves, although she knew her anxiety was heightened. She took slow breaths as her chest moved up and down.

"Calm down, love. We don't have time for a panic attack."

Mackenzie felt Nate tense up as Mitch spoke. "Stop, it's not worth your energy."

"Well, If Oz would just tell us what the fuck is going on."

"Your girlfriend figured me out weeks ago, mate. Incredibly disappointing, if I'm being honest. She's got such a brilliant mind I'm surprised it took so long."

Mackenzie just rolled her eyes as he talked.

"Well, really I just got sloppy. The wrong file showed the right information and she caught it immediately. So, now I know Bass is onto me. I mean why else would he request a meeting this late. Although only a handful of people know so I think we can easily clear this up and I'll be on my way."

"Clear this up? You stole from a charitable foundation. That's pretty clear. And immoral."

"Oh save me the preachy attitude, Miss Humphrey. You know too much. And now your boyfriend does, too."

"What? Are you going to kill us?"

"God, no. I'm not a murderer, love. I just need some financial incentive from Chuck then we'll just forget I ever existed."

Mackenzie swallowed hard. When did her life turn into a soap opera? How did her magical gala evening turn into a limo ride with guns and bartering for information?

She stayed quiet for the rest of the drive. It wasn't long before they arrived at Bass Industries.

She slid out behind Nate, pausing to whisper in his ear, "Do you think we can run for it?"

"Probably not in those heels, babe," Nate replied to her, smiling. It was all he could do to make light of this messy situation.

Ten minutes later, Mitch Watson was leading them all into Chuck's office. Nate kept telling himself that all they had to do was get up there and Chuck would be waiting with federal agents. But when they opened the doors, Chuck was standing at the window alone.

"Sweep the room," Mitch said quickly to his two suited friends. He motioned for Nate to stand in the corner but lead Mackenzie up to the front of the room, pushing her to sit down in the chair.

He yanked the envelope from her hand, tearing it open and taking out the stack of cheque and a pile of money.

"What kind of bastard pays cash for a donation this large?"

"Can we wrap this charade up now, Mitch?" Chuck finally spoke, putting down his short glass of liquor and leaning on his desk. "Don't you think this is all a bit much?"

"All I need is your chartered jet, this stack of cash, and Miss Humphrey." Mackenzie gasped at his request.

"Get fucked, dude," Nate stormed forward from where he was standing. One of Mitch's men stopped him in his tracks.

"You're insane," Mackenzie spat at him, crossing her arms tightly and sinking into the chair. She glanced back at Nate who was being held off but the suit still.

"It was a joke, love. Your indifference is a turn off. I just like to see pretty boy squirm."

"You think I'm just going to get you get away with funneling money out of my foundation after all this time? And send you off on my jet?" Chuck stood up tall and walked towards Mitch.

"I just want enough money to set up my comfortable life in South America. And your assurance that no one outside of this room learns about any of it."

Chuck glanced at his watch, then surveyed the room. He saw Nate still struggling to get out of the vice grip of the man around him. He saw Mackenzie, eyes wide and frightened, looking from Chuck to Nate to Mitch.

"Fine. I'll transfer you enough cash to disappear. My pilot is at the airport."

"Chuck, stop, don't pander to him." Mackenzie met his eyes. Chuck just nodded it was okay.

"Miss Humphrey comes with me." He reached behind his back and pulled out a small pistol he had been concealing.

"What?"

"What?"

"Fine."

Mitch grabbed Mackenzie's arm and stood her up. "Just to get me to the airport. Insurance that you won't have the police meet me there."

"Let her go!" Nate pushed his way through the arms of the man holding him back.

"Nathaniel, trust me." Chuck hissed at him.

"Nate!" Mackenzie called out as Mitch pulled her towards the door.

In a flurry, the world seemed to pause. The grip of Mitch Watson's hand on her arm radiated pain through Mackenzie.

She yelled again as he reached the doors.

The last thing she saw was Nate running towards her and Mitch.

The last thing she heard was a gunshot.


	22. Chapter 22

_Hey folks! This is it. Enjoy this little wrap up to The Chase. Thanks again for being here. For every review, every favourite, every view, everything. This was a Nate Archibald dream for me and it turned out better than I imagined._

_At the end, I have a tiny snippet from the sequel - Ultraviolet. I would recommend adding me to your author alert notification list so you can be prepared when it comes out! First chapter will go up in two weeks or so. The sequel takes place after the finale Part B aka we will see everyone again at Dan and Serena's wedding._

_Thanks again. I have heart eyes for all of you._

* * *

**_Two months later_ **

"Come ON, ump!"

"You're kidding me, right?"

Mackenzie couldn't help but smile as she listened to Nate, his cousin and dad grumble about the baseball game. They were seated just behind home base for a Saturday evening New York Yankee home game. Nate had surprised her with the tickets and both Tripp and The Captain were sitting with them, too.

She glanced beside her to Nate, who was leaning forward in his seat, sipping a beer. He was wearing a pinstripe shirt. He looked over and caught her eye, shifting his body to lean towards her and kiss her instead, pulling down on the brim of her hat as he turned his attention back to the game.

This was a happy moment she wanted to capture in her memory.

She studied Nate as he watched the game, chatted with his family, smiled at her, checked his phone. He had really ironed out his balance in life. As he glanced down at his phone, he sighed and rolled his eyes, showing a picture he had received to Mackenzie. It was from Serena - an awkward selfie of her, Dan and Henry with the accompanied message: ' _Hen misses his Uncle Nate!'_

Mackenzie let out a breath, smiling at the photo.  _Nothing like a good guilt trip._

Both Nate and Mackenzie had been keeping their distance from the Waldorf-Bass clan since the gala. Understandably so, considering what happened.

" _Nathaniel, you're an idiot, you know that?"_

_Nate was clutching his arm as a paramedic pulled him into an ambulance._

" _Where's Mack?"_

" _She's fine, just quite concussed. She'll need a few stitches. She'll see you at the hospital."_

_The last twenty minutes had been a whirlwind._

_Nate didn't know what had overcome in when he was faced with the fear of losing Mackenzie. Even if he wasn't really going to lose her - the fact that Mitch Watson was yielding a gun and pulling her out of the room had set something off in Nate. With adrenalin pulsing through him, he had rushed at Mitch Watson and Mackenzie. And just before he tackled them to the ground, Mitch had shot his gun. The bullet had only grazed Nate's arm, thankfully._

_Mackenzie fell to the ground, slamming her head onto the corner of one of Chuck's bookcases. Mitch Watson had fallen into the doors, bursting them open to reveal four federal agents waiting outside in the Bass Industries hall._

_After Mackenzie had given her statement to the agents and police, and had her eyebrow sewn up with several stitches, she hurried off to find Nate._

_Mackenzie almost cried when she saw him sitting there - dress pants and fancy socks, white undershirt, bandaged left bicep. He still managed to look so handsome, even in this state of distress._

" _Mack, thank God," he managed to spill out, as she nearly tackled him on the bed. She wrapped her arms around him, as gently as possible, then pulled away to kiss him._

" _What did I tell you about defending my honour?" Mackenzie almost cried when he looked her in the eyes. His eyes were warm, comforting, familiar._

_Stupid Nate and his stupid hero complex. He shifted over slightly to let her sit beside him on the bed._

_He tangled his hand with hers as they sat there. She leaned her head onto his shoulder._

" _Nate, thank you for -"_

" _Shhh. I want to forget about the hard stuff for a few minutes." He paused, squeezing her hand. "It's Montreal, by the way. Our weekend away."_

A crack of a baseball bat interrupted Mackenzie's distracted thoughts. She reached her arm over and grazed her fingers over Nate's exposed left bicep, where a pink mark of scar tissue still remained from the bullet graze. He reached up and grabbed her hand, pulling it in to kiss it ever so gently.

Mackenzie often found herself overwhelmed when she looked back on that entire evening. The anxiety came back in droves when she thought about how if Nate had leapt ten inches in the other direction, he could have been shot dead. Or how if Mitch Watson had taken her to the airport, he may have taken advantage of her moreso. Or how Chuck Bass just let them get into that mess. How even the last eight months had changed Mackenzie's life so drastically and how poisonous the city was and how-

"Mackenzie, do you want a drink?" She let all the thoughts wash away when she heard her name being called by The Captain at the end of their row, grabbing beers for them all.

She smiled and shook her head, leaning back into the seat and looking out at the field.

Whatever happened, she still had Nate by her side. And that was more important than anything.

* * *

It wasn't an easy decision, but Mackenzie proceeded with her enrollment into the specialized summer program at The London School Of Business.

Nate was a huge motivator for her. He wanted what was best for her in every way. And despite her anger, Chuck Bass helped her make the decision too.

_Chuck Bass was persistent. He knew his take down of Mitch Watson came at the expense of Mackenzie Humphrey's well being on more than one occasion. But he was determined to make things better with her._

_She took a meeting with him only after he persisted for weeks._

_She was sitting in his office, arms crossed. Chuck stared at her from across his desk._

" _I talked with your advisor and signed off on your internship hours," Chuck started, sliding some paperwork across the desk._

_Mackenzie simply nodded her head._

" _Thank you."_

" _Listen, Mackenzie, I can't apologize enough for what transpired. I want you to know how grateful I am for what you did for the foundation. That small clerical error lead Jack to dive further into our Australian books and found some more anomalies."_

" _Great." Mackenzie didn't care about any of that. She knew Mitch Watson was in custody and facing time in prison because of his money laundering. But that didn't resolve all her trauma._

" _Is there anything I can do to help with this? I know you're still mad but our lives will likely overlap for a long time so I don't want things to be awkward between us."_

" _I'm considering going to The London School of Business this summer so I think the distance will help."_

" _Taking what?"_

" _I've been accepted into their 10 week Strategic Branding and Private Equity short course. If I go I'll just be staying with Jenny."_

" _Let me pay your tuition."_

" _You can't just buy my forgiveness, Chuck."_

" _This has no strings attached. It's a gift. A thank you. It's the least I can do."_

Chuck Bass himself paid the invoice for her tuition. It didn't come out of the Bass Industries books. It came from his personal cheque book.

It was a step in the right direction but Mackenzie was still struggling to understand how Chuck worked.

It was a warm Friday in May and Mackenzie was heading home to the loft. Nate had taken the afternoon off and was going to meet her there. She had spent her morning at Columbia, wrapping up a few things to ensure she had completed everything to finish the Masters program. Then she had gone to see her therapist. Now, following an afternoon cocktail with Serena, she was finally going to see Nate.

After the article incident and the aftermath of the gala, something was different for Mackenzie and Nate. Everything felt stronger, their connection seemed so much  _more._ Their purpose had shifted. Suddenly, the future was very real and the upcoming long distance relationship was scary. Possible, but scary.

When Mackenzie walked into the loft, she was surprised to see Dan there. He was standing with Nate in the kitchen and seemed to be directing him on something. Cooking dinner?

"Is this a dream?" Mackenzie asked as she walked into the loft, sliding off her jacket. "Is that Nate Archibald standing over a stove?"

Nate turned his head and smirked at her.

"Our little guy is really growing up," Dan commented. "You have to keep stirring these around or they'll stick." He pointed down at a sauce pan on the stove. He reached over and turned the element down, turning towards his sister.

"So, exciting news. Nothing entirely official just yet so keep this under wraps but I'm meeting with Netflix next week. They want the rights to  _City People_ for a limited series run."

"Dan! That's incredible." Mackenzie pulled her brother into a hug.

"Congrats, man," Nate threw his cloth over his shoulder and patted Dan's back. Mackenzie poured them all celebratory drinks as they sat in the living room. Whatever Nate was cooking remained on the stove to simmer.

"So, are you all ready for London?" Dan shook his sister's knee. "Serena is very set on visiting in August, by the way."

"Ready as I can be," she replied to him, shrugging. "Nate has managed to book three separate trips across the pond, too."

Mackenzie had to admit knowing Nate was coming to visit multiple times was a huge determining factor for her. It's not that she was codependent per se, she just knew she would miss him. Immensely.

"You do realize absence makes the heart grow fonder," Dan commented, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, The Spectator can run without me being in the office, so I may as well romance my girlfriend across Europe if the timing works."

"Please don't talk about romancing my sister while I'm in your presence."

Dan left shortly after, leaving Mackenzie and Nate to enjoy dinner together. With Dan's assistance, Nate had cooked up a veggie stir fry with chicken and jasmine rice. And it was at least edible, although he still had some skills to master.

"I consider that a success since I didn't give us food poisoning," Nate laughed at himself as they cuddled on the couch after dinner.

"I'm impressed. I have to admit seeing you cooking, working with your hands, sleeves rolled up - very sexy." She sat up from leaning on his chest and gave him a playful smile.

"Oh yeah?" He reached for her waist and pulled her back towards him. She straddled over his hips and leaned in to kiss him.

"Yeah, and watching you do the dishes now will be super sexy, too."

"Hey, if I cooked doesn't that mean you have to clean up?" He moved his hands up and down her back, sneaking up under her shirt. He traced his fingers carefully along her spine, leaning a trail of goosebumps on her skin.

"Maybe the dishes can wait," she replied breathlessly, as he dove in to kiss her neck and collarbone.

"It occurred to me the other day," Nate pulled away from her, a mischievous smile on her face. "We still haven't used those handcuffs."

Mackenzie's eyes grew wide as she looked at him. "Oh, I mainly bought those as a joke."

"Well, I'm not joking." He bit her bottom lip, moving his hands further up her back to unclip her bra.

"Feisty," she whispered back to him.

Serena has been right about one thing - Mackenzie's chemistry with Nate was unbeatable, especially in the bedroom. She couldn't even remember the substandard ex-lovers she used to sleep with - Nate's passion and take charge attitude did  _something_ unexplainable to Mackenzie.

Twenty minutes later, she was half naked on her bed. Her arms were handcuffed through her headboard as Nate laid kisses up and down her torso. Just as he reached to pull her jeans off, he stopped.

"I love you, you know," he said quietly as he stared at her.

"Is now really the best time for proclaiming your love?" She kicked her legs in protest. She needed her pants off and Nate on her, in her.

"Actually, I think now is the best time for something else." He crawled up the bed towards her, and leaned down beside her to whisper. "It's the best time for me to do the dishes."

She gasped at him and pulled at her locked wrists. "You're kidding."

He leaned down to kiss her and stood up off the bed.

"I'll be back."

Mackenzie gave him a skeptical glance as he walked away. "Nate, come on."

"Maybe I'll run to the store to get some snacks." Nate said from the kitchen. Mackenzie heard him opening up the fridge, then shuffling some dishes in the kitchen.

"Nate!" He didn't reply. "Nathaniel Fitzwilliam Archibald, this isn't funny."

"Do you really think full naming me is going to help you, Mackenzie Lilas Rose Humphrey?"

"Naaaaate. Please."

He came back to her room, leaning on the door frame and smiling at her. "God, I love when you say please."

* * *

Nate Archibald was really hitting a stride in his life - both business and personal.

The Spectator was thriving - so much so that Nate was slated to add on nearly two dozen staff members by the end of the year. He was meeting with his main financial planner this week to sort out next steps for assets - an expanded office in D.C. and a private jet to save on travel costs. He never dreamed this is where The Spectator would evolve too but he couldn't be more excited about the future of his news reporting agency.

And he couldn't be more excited about his future with Mackenzie Humphrey, too.

It had been a long time since he could picture ten years ahead with a partner. Even planning two months ahead used to be a headache. Now, he could picture himself waking up beside Mackenzie every day for the rest of his life if she would let him. Sure, they had to get through this summer of long distance dating but they had survived everything else so far. What was ten weeks across the pond going to do?

Nate was doing his best to soak up the next two weeks with her before she left.

It was a cool Thursday night. Nate was giving a speech at a Big Brothers Big Sisters event at his mother's request. It was a summer kick off fundraiser, with people of all ages attending. There was live music, games for the kids and cocktails for the adults. The Spectator was going to be running a summer blog outlining the events put on by BBBS, wrapping up with an online fundraising initiative from subscribers.

Nate was standing backstage, waiting for his call up to speak. He knew Mackenzie was waiting in the crowd with his parents and he knew she was trying her best with Anne Archibald.

He sent her a text while he waited: ' _I hope my mother is at least making polite conversation.'_

' _She introduced me to two people as your girlfriend. At least this time she didn't describe me as Nate's friend's sister.'_

' _See? She's warming up to you.'_

' _Your dad keeps handing me glasses of champagne to get through this. God bless him.'_

After his speech, Nate made his way through the crowd, stopping to say hello to his parents' friends as needed. He finally found his dad and Mackenzie seated outside on the patio, near an outdoor heater.

"Hey, you survived," Nate kissed Mackenzie on the cheek as he dropped onto the couch beside her.

"I will admit the bubbly helped," Mackenzie tilted her glass towards the Captain who just laughed.

"I know my Anne can be a bit overbearing," Howard nodded towards her. "She's had an image of the ideal trophy wife for Nate since he was born. She's protective."

"Please tell me you consumed more than champagne tonight," Nate turned to Mackenzie. Her cheeks were flushed and she was smiling at him, eyes wide.

He could tell she was drunk.

"And maybe a vodka soda. Or two."

Nate glanced over at his dad, who raised his hands innocently. "Sorry, you know how your mother is at events like this. She drives anyone to drink." Nate sighed, rolling his eyes. He sent a quick message to John to come by to pick them up.

"Well, I think maybe it's time to head home, babe," Nate stood up, extending his hands to help Mackenzie stand up.

"I'm sorry I let the champagne get to me. Are you mad?" Mackenzie swallowed hard as Nate slid into the car beside her. He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"No, of course not." Nate took her hand in his and she leaned her head on his shoulder. "But you and I both know you shouldn't be fighting anxiety with alcohol. Even when you're facing Anne Archibald."

"She doesn't like me, Nate," Mackenzie said to him quietly. "She's faking it. But I can tell."

"I don't care what my mother thinks, Mack." Nate squeezed her hand.

Mackenzie didn't believe a word of that.

"I won't be anyone's trophy wife."

_As if he's even thinking about marrying me, anyway. Isn't that too much to assume? We've only been dating for six months._

"Hey," Nate shifted his body towards her, causing her head to lift from his shoulder. "I don't want a trophy wife - whatever that even means anyway. I want a partner in life who has goals and dreams and the same wants as me. Someone who I can support and will be there for me, too."

"I'm a bit drunk so forgive me or ignore me if this is too much but I want to be that partner for you." Mackenzie squeezed her eyes shut tightly, nervously fiddling with the ring on her hand.

"Well, I'm not drunk. I want you to be that partner for me, too." Nate leaned in and kissed her softly.

"This wasn't a marriage proposal, was it?"

Nate laughed at her panicked question. "No. But it's nice to confirm we're on the same page about the future."

"Good." She turned and snuggled into his chest as he wrapped his arm around her.

"Also, come on, like I would propose to you in the back of a car. You know whatever I do will be romantic as hell."

"Okay, sorry to hurt your ego, Archibald."

* * *

"Yes, everything of yours is packed away and ready for the sublet. Dan said he'd meet them here this weekend sort everything out." Mackenzie was waiting outside the loft with her luggage. She had one more night in the city before heading off to London for the summer and she was heading to Nate's for the evening. He had invited Dan, Serena and Eric over for a final NYC dinner.

"Okay. Now, one last thing." Mackenzie sighed as Rufus continued on the other end of the phone. "Mack? Have fun, okay? I know the last year hasn't been the best chapter of your life but hopefully you can relax. And enjoy this time with your sister."

Mackenzie couldn't help but smile. As frustrating as her relationship with her dad had been, his love for her came out and showed itself in times like this. She couldn't help but feel grateful for it.

"Thanks, dad. We'll FaceTime you next week!"

Mackenzie climbed into the backseat of Nate's town car as John loaded her luggage into the trunk. It was hard to believe she wouldn't be back to the loft until September. She and Rufus has chatted briefly about his plan for the future of the loft - selling it was the main idea. But for now, it would still be there when she returned to the city.

A few days prior Mackenzie had a day in the city with her mother, too. She missed her mom and now with the looming next few months of her life ahead, she wished she had spent more time up in Hudson the last few months. Growing up, Allison was really more like a best friend to Mackenzie. Her close relationship with her mother made up for the ongoing dramatics with her father.

Mackenzie walked into Nate's apartment to see gold and silver balloons and a homemade 'Bon Voyage' banner strung across the far wall. She couldn't help but smile, as Nate came over to sweep her into a hug.

"This is too much, you guys. I'm only gone for three months." She pulled herself away from Nate and kissed him. "Plus I'll see you in a few weeks and you guys in July." She motioned to Dan and Serena who were sitting on the couch.

"Nate insisted you deserved this kind of pomp," Eric announced, motioning around. "As if your journey to London will make you forget the rest of us here."

"I also wanted to help throw a party! Even a small one like this." Serena joined in, standing up and heading over to the kitchen. "Wine?"

"Yes, please."

The five enjoyed a perfectly fun night - indulging in a real New York feast: pizza from Lombardi's, dumplings from Dumpling House and cookies from Levain. They watched silly YouTube videos and old episodes of Friends. They played cards and Dan sang along to an entire Rolling Stones album.

All in all, Mackenzie felt it was a perfect way to cap up the last half year of her life in the city.

After saying goodbye, with Dan hugging his sister twice, Mackenzie fell onto the couch beside Nate and stretched her legs over his lap.

"So, what are you going to miss most about me?" Nate slowly traced his fingers up and down her legs, looking over at her for a response.

"Probably your hot tub," Mackenzie replied, giving him a playful smile. He gave her a mock hurt look. "In all honesty, I'm going to miss your messy morning hair. And that charming smile that makes my knees weak. And when you sing along to songs in the car."

She pulled herself up from her position and straddled Nate's lap. "And these lips. I will miss these lips." She leaned in and kissed him, hard. They remained like that for some moments, only pausing to come back up for air.

"Your turn."

Nate wrapped his arms around her waist and stared into her eyes. "I will miss your stubborn sassy attitude. And your soft skin. And I'll miss watching your brain figure out a solution to some weird math problem."

She smiled at him then leaned in, resting her head on his shoulder while he held her closely.

"I wish I could bottle this feeling. This exact warmth, this even, constant beating of your heart in my ear. I want to feel it forever."

"Do you think fate would have brought us together if you hadn't moved back to the city?"

"I'm sure you would be dating Kara Montgomery right now if I wasn't in the picture," Mackenzie replied to him, pulling away from her position to kiss him again.

"I mean, Kara Montgomery is hot but she's no you, Mack."

"Oh, thanks," she rolled her eyes at his comment, although she appreciate the sentiment. "You could have any girl you wanted Nate, sometimes I'm still surprised you want  _me._ "

"I wish I could explain the way you make me feel. In here." He pointed to his chest, his heart. "No other girl could hold onto my heart like you."

She paused to stare at him. His beautiful eyes seemed to be glimmering. His cheeks were rosy and pink. His smile was small, powerful. She sighed.

Nate was all she could even dream of and more.

"You know, Eric was right. We are nauseating."

"Shut up and kiss me."

* * *

" _You know, I never said sorry."_

" _For what?"_

" _The article. The whole mess. Telling your story without asking."_

" _Nate, you said you were sorry a ton of times already. You then had a bullet graze your arm when you were running to try and protect me. I think we are past apologies."_

_Mackenzie and Nate were walking down an old cobblestone street in Old Montreal. Nate had planned a perfectly lovely, quiet weekend away. They were both still healing from the aftermath of the gala - emotionally and physically._

" _I'm not sure I can ever forgive myself for causing you all that pain. And benefiting from it. I hate that my recent added success arrived because I hurt you."_

" _Nate. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. And I've forgiven you. So you need to forgive yourself, too. Life is fleeting and the last time I'm going to do is dwell about something like this. You know, your article helped a lot of people - I joined a support group on Facebook that stemmed from your #HowISurvived conversation. You did that. And I love you for it, regardless of my initial reaction. I'm okay. We're okay."_

_They paused in front of a fountain. Nate took both of Mackenzie's hands in his and looked at her. She smiled at him._

_There she stood - average height, long brown hair, magnetic eyes, rosy cheeks, a new scar above her left eyebrow._

" _You know, I was going to suggest we get matching tattoos. Although I guess having scars from the same incident is just as tough." She squeezed his hands, then let go, letting her hand gently grip his healing bicep._

" _What kind of matching tattoos?"_

_Mackenzie raised her eyebrows at him. "Are you considering it?"_

_Nate shrugged. "I never thought I would ever get a tattoo. But my badass girlfriend has a few so who knows."_

_She smirked at him. "I would add a sunflower to my leg or something. And maybe you'd get a tiny little rose or sunflower your ankle or foot. How's that, tough guy?"_

" _You don't think I can pull off a sleeve or something?"_

_Nate threw his arm around her shoulders as they continued to walk. "You're a bit soft, Archibald. But that's okay. It's part of why I love you."_

" _Oh yeah? What else do you love about me?"_

" _I love how you bent me over the couch this morning in front of the window."_

" _Yeah, well, wait until you see what I do to you in the shower when we get back."_

* * *

Mackenzie was taking the red eye to London. Nate secured her a first class seat, even though she insisted she didn't need it.

They spent most of Sunday in bed together. Or in the hot tub. Or the shower. Or the kitchen. But it was spent together.

The sudden realization that Mackenzie was not going to wake up in bed beside him for a while hit Nate hard that morning. Even though they were going to see each other in Paris in a few weeks.

They finally got dressed around four in the afternoon. Nate insisted he was going to cook her dinner.

Mackenzie sat on the couch and watched him. "Are you sure you don't need help?"

"Dan has been giving me thorough cooking lessons and support. I've got this." Nate looked down to his phone then back to the measuring cup in front of him. "Just relax over there."

"Can you at least tell me what you're making?"

Nate finally looked over at her and smiled. "Mushroom risotto."

She opened her eyes wide and smiled, "isn't this the part where I come over there and scare the shit out of you and ruin it?"

"I mean, that makes a great story but I'm actually hungry so maybe not."

Mackenzie laughed and nodded in agreement. She wandered over to Nate's record machine under his mounted TV and searched around for her Billy Joel album. She put it on to play quietly then joined him in the kitchen.

"Here, I'll stir while you chop. Risotto can be a two person recipe." She kissed him then took the spoon from his hand, stirring the simmering rice.

"I'm impressed at your new cooking skills, you know." Mackenzie continued.

"Well, you did say you'd never move in with me if I didn't know how to cook so. I had to start somewhere."

"You learned to cook for  _me_?"

"For us, I hope."

"Wait, are you asking me to move in?" Mackenzie nearly dropped her spoon on the floor.

Nate just smiled at her and leaned against the counter. "Maybe. When you get back, if you want. I know you don't have a job lined up for the fall but I'm close to all the subway stops and -

Mackenzie did drop the spoon this time. She rushed over to him and cut him off, pressing her lips against his. She pulled away and just stared at him, matching smiles on their faces.

"I love you, Mackenzie Humphrey."

"I love you, Nate Archibald."

_**The End** _

* * *

_Coming Soon: A Sequel to The Chase_

**_Ultraviolet_ **

Mackenzie knew she was spiraling.

She climbed up the stairs from the subway station and took deep breaths as she walked through Manhattan. The weight in her chest, mostly stemming from anxiety and leftover grief paired with the aftereffects of sobbing for the last week, made every breath feel sharp.

On some level, she had no idea where her feet were taking her.

She finally pulled her phone out and did the bravest thing she could think of.

She hit the call symbol beside the small picture of Nate in her contacts. She wasn't entirely sure this was even his number anymore but it was worth a try. It was a cool Saturday night. Spring had arrived in the city days ago, but the chilled air of winter seemed to be lingering.

She tugged her coat closer to her chest as she heard the call ring in her ear.

_Hang up. This was a mistake. Hang up._

Just as she was about to pull her phone away, she heard his voice on the other end.

"Hello?"

She breathed in deeply.

"Mackenzie?" Hearing him say her name out loud was almost enough to cause her to collapse on the sidewalk.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Listen, I'm sorry, I just wanted to apologize for how I acted the other day. At my mom's…" She trailed off.  _Funeral. You were just at your mom's funeral, Mackenzie._

"Mack, I can't even imagine what's going on in your head right now so really, it's okay."

"And I'm sorry for calling you out of nowhere on a Saturday night. I'm sure you're in the middle of something and-

"I mean, I'm working on a publication schedule at home, in my pajamas, so that's  _something,_  I guess." She couldn't help but smile, picturing Nate sitting at his kitchen table, a short glass of scotch beside him, plaid pajama pants on his legs.

"Nate, I'm a mess. Everything is a mess. I leave tomorrow on the red-eye but my brain is just racing and…" She swallowed hard. She just had to say it. "I don't want to be alone tonight."

The pause that followed her statement was two seconds long, but to Mackenzie it felt like a lifetime.

"Are you still at The Empire? John can be there in-

"I just got off the Subway on 96th."

"I'll meet you in the lobby."

_This ultraviolet morning light below tells me this love is worth the fight..._


End file.
